Stalin's Organ Posted June 21, 2001 Share Posted June 21, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: You obviously haven't had the joy of putting together a Tamiya kit, <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Don't be such a twit - of course I have. But it was so much more fun blowing it up with fire-crackers! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>but then again you probably keep both hands firmly placed on your namesake!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Jealous are we? Have trouble finding yours with both hands do you?? Otherwise of course I do......especially when I'm thinking about Tanya! What sort of prevert-weirdo-sheep-shagger are you that thinks it's an insult??!! Oh..of course...sorry! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And next time address me as Sir moron, <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I think Madam Moron sounds better - it's certainly more appropriate since you're a big girls blouse! [ 06-21-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted June 21, 2001 Share Posted June 21, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken: Quick, someone get a Churchill Petard or a Sturmtiger, load a shell up with Ritalin and let's see if we can punch through the incredible density of his cranial glacis.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> 2) Too thick. We need a rear penetration. How about a 380mm suppository? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 ***A darkened road. Four figures appear from the gloom.*** MrSpkr: "I sense the desperation of the Pool. We must hurry." YK2: "Where are we going, anyway?" MrSpkr: "Manor de Loquacious." Speedbump: "What's at Seanachai's house?" MrSpkr: "An ending." Leeo: "A good one, I hope - lots of loose cars, fast women . . ." Speedbump: "Don't you mean 'fast cars, loose women'?" Leeo: "Whatever." ***The quartet continue into the gloom. The Manor looms before them in the distance.*** to be continued [ 06-21-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Thought it would be good fun to read a bit of the Outer Board... CHRIST ON A F***** CRUTCH! Are these people allowed to breed?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> But they do serve a purpose...look how good they make us look! Sir Moron...err...Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joseph's Todger: Don't be such a twit - of course I have. But it was so much more fun blowing it up with fire-crackers!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> More money than sense! Would you honestly spend a fortune on a Tamiya Kit, only to blow it up? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Jealous are we? Have trouble finding yours with both hands do you??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> xxi) I don't think anyone would be jealous of you, given your disadvantages (eg being a SSN would be the main one I can think of - refer below for more) 23.3) I don't need to find mine, I know where it is because it's always in the same location. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Oh..of course...sorry!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No need to apologise, we kinnigits are a forgiving and compassionate lot - we already know that the SSNs (like yourself) aren't up to our calibre or high standards. We also recognise that even SSNs have levels of ability..You would be at the top (of the worst end)! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>it's certainly more appropriate since you're a big girls blouse!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If so, In comparison I would be the 'ballroom evening dress' - expensive and well presented with an amount of flair, to your 'Hooker's mini-skirt' - torn, tattered and stained. Mace [ 06-21-2001: Message edited by: Mace ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Would you honestly spend a fortune on a Tamiya Kit, only to blow it up?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You're certainly living up to your new name Madam Moron - no of course I wouldn't spend a fortune on it. Someone bought it for me! And I hate making up plastic models! I like to break things. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> If so, In comparison I would be the 'ballroom evening dress' - expensive and well presented with an amount of flair, <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Flair?? That's what gets done to pipes so they fit over nipples! If you want to be squeezed out to a larger diameter then perhaps you could use Mouse's 380mm supository, but please don't tell us any more about it! Otherwise I'm glad you admit to being women's clothing. It's the first step to a cure.....personally I'd shoot you - quicker, more certain and less messy! But Dolly would miss ewe, and we can't have that! [ 06-22-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 Many of you; let me just count these up... Oh, I see, well, none of you may be wondering where (and even what) I am. Allow me to allay your fears and cure your sleepless nights. My girlfriend and I are in the middle of that milestone (or is it millstone?) of buying a house. It's our first and we're taking it very gently. Thus my contributions to this wasteland, having been always short, sharp and shiny, will now be rare, rough and rude. We would like to offer ourselves as sounding boards for any property woes that may have troubled you, particularly in the finding and purchase areas. While smoothing out your furrowed brows it will, as a byproduct, transfer information to us that may help us in our search. Your humble perpetual squire, StR (per-bloody-petual because bastards that have joined AFTER me have been touched by the sword! Bastards.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 ...and another thing, some personages appear to be MIA. Please present yourselves. Wildwoman are you still playing games with full-sized models? Send me a file you big kid. Eloped Moke I have heard NOTHING from you since April. Wake up boy, I'm winning. PansyNZer you queen, get back here from your mid-morning TV world and send me a freekin file. For God's sake. StR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 Originally posted by JDMorse. They were so profound, I beleive they deserve a repeat. Daily Affirmations for the Unstable > I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of > course, I want to stay employed. > A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem. > As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner > Sociopath. > I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of > suspicion and paranoia. > Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no > sweeter words than "I told you so." > I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain. > > As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me > in many ways to keep me quiet. > I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are > someone else's fault. > I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality > at all. > Joan of Arc heard voices too. > When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not > nearly as gratifying. > The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice > things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things. > As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun. > Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. > Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom. > Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute... I'll find > someone. > Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying > about the future? > I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh > at. > I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from > them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 Normally, I would spend my time more productively. But since my email service has decided not to be available tonight, I have no unplayed PBEM turns. As a result, it is time for game updates: Like an unlanced boil, my hatred for you grows unabated. While the majority of you, most particularly the SSNs, deserve only to be placed into a burlap bag and thrown in the river; I will call out a few in particular: MrSpkr, while slightly creative and barely suspenseful, is like the strange neighbor down the street. He mows the lawn in loafers and a mesh tanktop teeshirt, snarling at the neighborhood children riding by on their bikes. We assume he has a wife because there are two cars in the garage, but are afraid to look behind the always shaded windows. In our Ubertank battle, MrSpkr is proving that German ubertanks don't go boom as often when hit from a long distance as American ubertanks do. I still hold the hill with the victory flags, so he will have to come closer. In the meantime, he is enjoying himself by hunting down crewmembers of my outlying *boomed* tanks. I suppose in the summer he also burns ants with a magnifying glass. armornut about to be overrun by a human wave attack on a critical hill has decided that RealLife must be dealt with. I will hold the file in gleeful anticipation of the immolation of his undergunned British bumrunners. Pawbroon is living up to the high martial standards of his homeland. After receipt of the initial setups, he has realized that he has no opportunity for victory and has decided to avoid the field of battle. Put down the camera, and send me a turn you Petain-ese coward! Mace continues his torrid one turn every 3 day pace (slow down big guy, I would hate for the turns to take away from your posting time). After three turns, he has retreated his entire armored force inside of a town, relying on a single Jabo to win the scenario for him. The shag-sheeper will have to show more skills than that to prevail! dalem, on the attack this game, has decided to rush his entire infantry force to a single patch of woods, nowhere near a victory flag, and camp out. The game is approaching the halfway mark and he hasn't fired a shot. Maybe he is taking lessons from Pawbroon? The rest of you are flyblown lumps of infected animal tissue. Please die-a-lot! Speedbump edited to suggest some thought was placed into this post [ 06-21-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump: edited to suggest some thought was placed into this post<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You failed. Why bother in the first place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ: You failed. Why bother in the first place?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> "Suggested" was the operative word, I made no promises! Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump: "Suggested" was the operative word<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Like i said - you failed. There isn't any suggestion of thought there. Or here for that matter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 RIGHT! Death! Death to all who oppose us! Lawdog: I hate you and your snow-trudging, close-order khaki Yankee Gangsters. Josie and the Shawcats: I hate you and your SMG-toting, dark and stormy night burning building running away from, pissed at me because I blew up your Heavy Building rathole with 60mm mortar fire kinderscouts. WhirliBerli: I hate you and your accomplishing a whole lot of nothing, held up for 5 turns by an exhausted rifle squad and a 75mm Infantry Gun pack of chocolate bar passer-outers. Marlowbrow: I hate you and your skulking brood of were-ticks that made me run into my own mortar fire. OpiumGulpinSizzlin'Funkmeister: I hate you and your giant map of rainy, muddy broken-bridged, single-roaded, scampering sallies that can't stand up to the most awful artillery barrages I have ever had the pleasure to unleash upon my fellow man. Speedyhump: I hate you and your hiding, VC-tunneling, Sherman tank offering, making me come and dig you out maggoty Polish folk. I'd sign up to hate even more of you but I can't even keep these Carnie-climbers sorted out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 I Loath you, I Loathed you today more than yesterday, and will Loath you even more tomarrow. Nice little updates. Herr Oberst-win Babra-loss Goanna-win Berli-loss Bauhaus-win Berli-loss Berli-win Bauhaus-loss Goanna-win Moriarty-loss Bauhaus-win Moriarty-loss Umm... the results of a Chicago Lan party... I really thought that Hoover got rid of those. Lorak the loathed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ: Like i said - you failed. There isn't any suggestion of thought there. Or here for that matter!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Knock, Knock *raps on Stalling Orifice's forehead* No suggestion of thought there either! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Originally posted by something short, thick and blunt: No suggestion of thought there either! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Welcome Madam Moron - so nice to see you without Dolly for a change. BTW - what's that silly little yellow & red thing in your post?? hmmmm....?? [ 06-21-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 MrSpkr... Oh, very well done indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 I want some ByGawd credit, so I do. It has become the fashion, indeed practically a requirement to refer to those who wander into the CessPool as Scum Sucking Newbies ... or SSNs ... as, of course, they are. But did this highly apropos term, this gem of description arise from thin air ... or even from one of the bubbles that surface periodically from the area surrounding Goanna? Did Berli in his evilness come up with it? HAH! Berli might, with the aid of a strategically placed finger, come up with the half digested remnants of his dinner tonight but not this gem. Seanachai then, did the faux Irishman himself croon it between renditions of "Tooralooraloorah"? Don't make me laugh ... Hahahahaha ... damnit I said DON'T make me laugh, people can't follow instructions anymore. Perhaps Lawyer inserted it into some obscure Federal notice dealing with sustituting cynanide for blood pressure medication (those elderly are getting SO annoying about their prescriptions)? NONSENSE! The only Inserting Lawyer does ... sit DOWN Bauhaus, at least allow me to finish the line ... is when his forefinger disappears into one or another of his nasal cavities. Did Dalem invent it in his spare time? Come on ... do you REALLY think that Dalem could invent ANYTHING? Nay say I, it was I, Sir Joe Shaw, Knight of the CessPool and all around general swell fellow who was the originator of the phrase BUT DO I GET ANY CREDIT FOR IT? Bah! of course not. My genius is used on a practically daily basis but is there perhaps a "By Your Leave Sir Joe", is there even a simple "TM" applied to it? HAH, there is NOT! So what's my point? Eight I think, but it's so hard to read the dice with my new bifocals. Joe (edited because I damned well felt like it) [ 06-22-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 What? What was that you were saying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 He's saying that all us Scum Sucking Newbies are his fault. So blame him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 We shall not see the MBT on page 2! My liege lord, Mr. Joe Shaw, is a most erudite individual. He correctly identifies a glaring lack of scholarly respect. One should always reference their sources on quoted material. As such: SOD OFF! Sucks to be you! die-a-lot Scum Sucking Newbies (SSN) Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: I, Sir Joe Shaw, Knight of the CessPool and all around general swell fellow who was the originator of the phrase BUT DO I GET ANY CREDIT FOR IT? Bah! of course not. My genius is used on a practically daily basis but is there perhaps a "By Your Leave Sir Joe", is there even a simple "TM" applied to it? HAH, there is NOT! Joe <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Legal Note to Joe Shaw Conclusion: You have no rights at all to "SSN" or any other terms of derision used in the Cesspool. Analysis: To retain personal property rights in intellectual property, one must (1) create something; (2) have a property right; and (3) be intellectual. Starting with the third point, your "intellect" demonstrated in the Cesspool is more akin to an obnoxious, opinionated drunk in a barroom. Your "views" are just a bunch of ad hoc bile spilled about in random fashion to whomever crosses your path. Like the drunk (down Iskander), you are not coherent and you have double vision, which is doubtlessly the cause of your endless repetition. Regarding the first point, you have not "created" anything within the meaning of the law or common sense. You did not create "scum sucking newbies", just as you did not create the Black Plague or swarms of hungry mosquitoes. These phenomena occur as natural pestilence to provide Mankind with extra Pain so we can properly appreciate the Pleasure when they depart our existence. Much like when you stop banging your head against a wall, and therefore feel better for doing so. On the other hand, if you truly want to take credit for creating the plague of SSN's in the Cesspool, go right ahead and reap the derision and disgust you so rightfully deserve. However, my advice would be to leave well enough alone, and let the natural flow of blame go to PawBroon, who fully deserves as much bile as we can collectively heap upon him for bringing Panzer Leader into the Pool. Finally, the question arises as to whether you possess a "property" right in SSN's. On this score, you have a much stronger case. Many of us believe you are the God of SSN's, and that they belong to you in all their preening malevolence. So, being as the SSN's are YOUR property, take them somewhere else and DISPOSE OF THEM. I suggest Salt Lake City (and its appurtenant Great Salt Cesspool, the Spiritual Mutha of the Mutha Thread so to speak) as a convenient and suitable dumping site for your collection of SSN's. You are already located there, and most of us agree that toxic waste should be buried out West somewhere. Since we subsidize your "Mormon lifestyle" with our Federal tax dollars, it is fitting that you give us something in return. But you cannot hope to receive credit, acclamation, or any other positive recognition or recompense for your VERY personal and VERY troubling association with SSN's. Yours truly, Consigliori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 ***a dank hallway beneath Manor de Loquacious. The Four walk quietly through a small doorway into the room beyond. On the walls are various trophies of war - a burnt out StuG III silhouette, various stuffed Hamstertruppen and Chinchillapanzerkommandants, a couple of surprised looking spider monkeys, a feral gerbil, and a small pyramid of skulls marked Peng and Berli. MrSpkr walks behind the pyramid and picks up a large greenish-brown husk vaguely resembling some sort of headgear, then turns for the door.*** Speedbump: “What is that?” MrSpkr: “In the old days, the ancient Founder once said: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Let it be noted that on July 24th, the Army of Peng (at least those portions which had not defected to Berli some time ago), surrendered to my triumphant Canadians. . . . After that, the heart seemed to go completely out of Peng. He sent me word of his impending surrender. By the next turn, it was done. Canadian Total Victory. Autumn leaves, swirling down through the hot breeze from Peng's burning assault gun, fell to dapple the fields, covering the blood of Peng's troops. . . . What is victory? A handle of leaves, fading, fading. However, these leaves are covered with the blood of the Army of Peng, so excuse me while I fashion them into a jaunty war bonnet, pull it on, and do a little dance while singing: Ya ti puckety, ring, ting, fatoo ni ni ni yaroo!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> In reality, Seanachai's plan was much more sinister. He knew that those weren’t leaves at all, but rather bits and pieces from the Peng’s pod. As such, they carried special properties, enhanced by the pixelated blood of the troops and hardened by Seanachai’s ministrations. His ‘song’ completed the ritual – while it appeared to merely be a taunting, in-your-face-you-pig sort of tune, in actuality, it was a spell of preservation, intending to bind the bilious taunting and invective of the moment to the Muthah Beautiful Thread for all eternity. However, over time, external pollutants have fouled the Pool and damaged the ancient majiks.” Leeo: “So what does that mean to us? And do I get a girl out of all this?” YK2: “The only way you could get a girl is if your mom tied two pork chops . . .” MrSpkr: “Enough! See, the majik is strong around this husk-bonnet. Already, we begin to tear at one another, you insignificant byproducts of the copulatory proclivities of lice infested, diseased ridden dachshunds! ***MrSpkr shoves the Husk-Bonnet into his bag and closes it. Immediately, the Four begin to relax slightly.*** MrSpkr: “See what I mean?” Speedbump: (dropping some strange doll stabbed by hundreds of needles and marked ‘Georgian’s Johnson’ on the floor) “Wow. So what do we do now?” MrSpkr: “Well, first we must locate a surrogate representing the decline of the thread. I have one in mind. Then, we shall complete a spell of renewal.” YK2: “Where is this ‘surrogate’?” MrSpkr: (handing out pillow cases with small, hard lumps at the bottom to each of the other three) “Follow me.” ***The Four leave the trophy room and stroll down the dank hallway until they come to an ancient, rotting wooden door. MrSpkr hands each member a small pair of noseplugs, which they quickly don. MrSpkr turns and pushes the door open. A foul odor not unlike the smell of ammonia and faeces assaults the group. As the group steps through the doorway, the torchlight reveals a long stairway spiraling down into darkness.*** YK2 "That smells vaguely like =^..^='s backyard." MrSpkr: “Doesn't it though? Just a coincidence, I assure you. Anyway, our task lies below.” to be continued [ 06-22-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 22, 2001 Share Posted June 22, 2001 Why do I get the feeling I'm going to suddenly appear in the next installment? Man, I hate that dolt Mrspkr. If I weren't already playing the GIT I would challenge him anew... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts