Here's a PENNY NOW GO AWAY... A PANTIELESS PENG CHALLENGE THREAD.?

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

MrSpankie, You Sir are a ChowderHead.

If you were versed in the lore of the MuthaBeautiful Thread you would know that at one time the Peng Thread reached almost 3000 posts. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Actually, the very first Peng Challenge Thread went to either 3100 or 3300 some posts (Pawbroon would know), before Pengerdammerung. In fact, my quote that graces Emma's post opening this incarnation of the Thread was posted within moments of the original cataclysmic loss of cosmic unity, implosion, and death of the original Peng Challenge Thread.

On another historical note, was it not the death of the original Peng Challenge Thread that resulted in schism, heresy, and the Wars of Religion, or was that the closing of the second Peng Challenge Thread (which I believe went over 2000 posts before being retired)?

[Joe Shaw]

Greetings fellow CessPudlians and all the ships at sea ... especially this Panzer Leader chap who is about as far AT SEA as I've ever seen. Speaking of that ... <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I really dislike my giganto-sig line.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Golly ... what a coincidence, I REALLY dislike it TOO! Perhaps you might consider the radical step of REMOVING THE DAMNED THING! There's a good chap.

[serious] I'd like to thank all the Poolers who took the time to express their sympathy and offer support. While Real Life is not yet completely back to normal, I have hopes that it will return soon. In the meantime, I find it somewhat ironic that the people who profess to despise us the most are often the ones who are the most supportive. Thanks. [/serious]

Now Sod Off and for Gawd's Sake Mace put that sheep down, Bahhhh! MEANS Bahhhh1

Joe

[ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Panzer Leader]

.

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Senilitea:

Actually, the very first Peng Challenge Thread went to either 3100 or 3300 some posts (Pawbroon would know), before Pengerdammerung. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Looks like just under 3000 posts to me, but Broonie says otherwise, so be it.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>On another historical note, was it not the death of the original Peng Challenge Thread that resulted in schism, heresy, and the Wars of Religion, or was that the closing of the second Peng Challenge Thread (which I believe went over 2000 posts before being retired)?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As far as the Meeksian Schism goes, it was in the second incarnation of the thread:

Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public. This thread being most famous for the first posts in the pool from yours truly.

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah, Training Panties, your finest post yet. Now, how about that setup.

And if you’re going to have such a long sig you could at least get the source correct. But I expected no less from you.

"Man's greatest joy is to slay his enemy, plunder his riches, ride his steeds, see the tears of his loved ones and embrace his women."

Genghis Khan

[Lawyer]

Thank Goodness Joe Shaw is back! I expect gas prices to drop sharply at the pump now that America's chief source of supply is back in business.

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

A suggestion would be to force Jshandorf to squire Panties. Forever.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ha! Lucky for me that won't ever happen! That fool Sinch-A-Mup has taken over the beating duties of Fancy-Lad. I must be brief since I am about to flee work...

Jeff

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

That said, it is my firm belief that Against a comptent opponent, no Allied Defense against Axis Assault Quick battle is winnable. Only under the most arcane instances of luck or bad planning is a win achievable.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bad Planning? Then how can I possible lose? Fancy-Lad, I am willing to bet, you couldn't plan your way into into a new t-shirt let alone a battle.

jeff

[PawBroon]

Well, it IS hard to win as the marines while in defense.

One should concede that.

Now mind you, that tactic is gamey obviously.

German cross dressers, what else then?!

[Mace]

Pawbroon, what the hell have you been feeding those uber-hamsters

Australia is now 7 hours and 30 minutes into the 20th day of our cess, June, 2001.

Hence I'd like to say a preemptive Babby Hirthday to Babra (If you think I'm going to strip for him however, you'll be very disappointed...actually, you'll be disappointed if I do strip for him)

Mace

btw Mr Squeeker, will you stop leaking FAQ into the cess...that's a very volatile mix!

[ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Terence]

Behold.

I stand among you.

That snuffling and high pitched whimpering from the floor indicates I may be standing on one of you, but no matter.

For many months, I have lurked silently in the Peng threads. Recently, I have been apalled by the plummeting standards.

Creative vitriol? None.

Articulate savagery? Zero.

Inspiring rhetoric? Nada.

Self-important tripe? You are swimming in it.

Pompous nattering? In plentiful supply.

Smarmy whining? Oh yes, and you all know who I'm talking about.

THEREFORE, I take it upon myself to single-handedly raise the standard of discourse in this Pool of Cess, before it implodes from sheer bloody-minded lameness.

AND SO, in dutiful obedience to the traditions you have established, I do hereby challenge one of your number.

Jshandorf!

You sputtering little twerp.

You pockmark.

You prat.

I challenge you to a 2000 point game of any parameters you care to name.

I fully intend to beat you like a rented mule and squash your arrogant babbling for at least five minutes.

Send the setup to the address in my profile, if you can find it.

That is all.

[MrSpkr]

***peers into room, then tiptoes in***

(whispering) "C'mon guys -- it is time. The Dark One has returned. All is ready."

***several dark figures swiftly and silently melt into the darkness***

to be continued

[ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Terence:

Behold.

["Taunting" in the style of a heap of sand. Dry sand.]

That is all.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

More-or-less followed the rules (expect for the part about being creative, colorful, witty, or at all interesting).

Shall I be the first to say it?

You're an idiot!

Go away now.

Agua Perdido

[Marlow]

Official Tour of the Schloss Peng

Please be seated, and fasten your seatbelts, the tour will begin when everyone is aboard.

Our first stop is the one and only original:

Peng, I Take out Bloody Challenge Public

This thread sprang from a humble beginning. Two of the Forum's more inept players, Senilitea, and Peng the Pod exchanged blows like so many fairies during last call at a San Francisco wine bar. Others also challenged each other to games, and a Combat Mission tradition was born. Ah, those were heady times, when posts were works of dark and soiled art, and unbolded panties was only a projection in BTS's profit picture. This thread outshone all others, much to the consternation of grog and boardie idiots alike. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth on the outerboards, but all calls of "BTS do somefink" fell upon deaf ears, as Steve saw what had been wrought, and pronouced "it is good." But it was not to last. At around 3000 posts, Pengerdammerung. Unfortunately, the death throws of the Peng Challenge Thread led to the meltdown of BTS's server farm as well as NORAD's main computer. WW III was only narrowly avoided when a plucky team of Cesspooligans stormed Cheyenne Mountain … (but that is another story).

Like the phoenix rising from the ashes, The MuthaBeautifulThread again took its rightful place on page one of the Forum:

Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public.

But this rebirth was not without pain. Jihad wracked the Forum as the Meeksian Schismatics attempted to subvert the one true Peng Thread. It was a terrible conflict, with much bloodshed on both sides. Eventually the apostates were suppressed, and their heretical thread given the Padlock of Justice, and later, the leader of the Schismatics, Insignificant Rodentboy Meeks was reunited with the One True Thread.

This incarnation of the Peng Challenge lasted over 2500 posts.

From here, we took a little trip to the Outback:

TAKING THE BLOODY PENG THREAD DOWNUNDER

This thread was notable for the increased influx of newbie swine attempting to make a name for themselves in the pool. Previously, only a select few had fought their way in to the inner sanctum with teeth and claws red, Marlow, Croda, Nijis were among those select and elite few. With the third incarnation, this trickle became a stream, and in later threads a veritable torrent. As time went on, the quality of the initiates began to drop, and even the level of discourse amongst the old ones suffered. From Down Under, many other placed were visited, but in each the stay was brief, and the notable posts fewer and fewer. These sad little diversions are listed below for historical purposes, but are largely irrelevant.

THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

Time to Lock the Forum and Concentrate on Peng Thread

A Thousand Points of Peng, A Kindler, More Gentler Cess

PENG I TAKE YOUR CHALLANGE TO GERMANY!!

Peng in Paradise

Sir Peng, I take your challenge to Lord Raglan

Peng, I take your Challenge to HOLLAND!

Does Peng Taste Gamey???

All your base are belong to Peng

How The Peng Challenge Was Won And Where It Got Us

PENG CHALLENGES a Thread

I wanna be sedated by the Peng Challenge

Welcome to Peng Challengeville! Note that this incarnation had perhaps the lamest title of all versions of the Peng Thread. What was Steve thinking when he chose this one over the far superior: The Bloody Peng Loonies are Slowing Down the Server Again Challenge Thread

THE PENG I TAKE OUR CHALLENGE PUBLIC REVIVAL!!!

PENG I TAKE YOUR CHALLENGE TO THE UNDEAD

Go tell the Outerboards, Stranger,That Here Obedient to Their Laws We Challenged Peng

I stood in line all night for CM2, and all I got was this lousy Peng Challenge TShirt

OK, everybody, that’s the tour. No refunds, and get the hell off my bus.

[ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ]

[Terence]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

whine, snuffle, whine, whine, snuffle whine<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

There it is again.

I must have my boot on its testicles.

Pity, really. Just had these boots cleaned.

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Roight, guv.nor! I will take this title you lay before me, that of "Defender of the Mutha Beautiful" and discharge it with the utmost in civility and strength of determination...

and lots of mindless painful to read drivel after that...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

MrIV in no way bestowed anything but acurse upon you.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>As the board's self-appointed Defender , preferring to cower behind trees nibbling your rations while real men do the fighting, this should be up your alley.

Also, damn you for forcing me to address you directly. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

(emphasis added to pint out what a hopeless git you really are)

That's correct Panties, he said that you were the board's "SELF APPOINTED" defender. He didn't mention this thread, and he by no means bequeathed, bestowed or besmacked you with anything. So shut your drooling yap and go the hell away.

[mutter]

defender of the frigging thread. what a maroon. fer chrissake gotta read all this crap. god I hate that worhtless little peckerhead. I sure hope those bars of soap wrapped up in socks and towels are for thwacking the hell out of Panties while he's lying in his bunk[/mutter]

Welcome back Shaw.

Peng

[MrSpkr]

***a dark cavern***

(muffled whispering)

Voice1: "Are you sure it is the only way?"

Voice2: "Yes."

Voice3: "And now is the time?"

Voice2: "Yes. But we must act quickly. Already the Old Ones suspect -- there is no time for further delay."

Voice4: "Then we are off. And may God have mercy on our souls."

***four shadowy forms slink off into the night***

to be continued

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

Official Tour of the Schloss Peng

...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Marlow, You must have a particularly sad and lonely life to spend your time compiling this list!

Good job, never the less.

Mace

[ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Mace]

Whoops, nothing to see here!

Just exercising my right to double post!

[ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[PawBroon]

That's it!!

Another of those friggin SSNs whose only credential is to tell us he lurked or murked.

And smack in the middle of his second post is TESTICLES.

Dohhh.

Go play elsewhere.

We don't need sub standards newbies, we have had our share already.

In case you don't understand french too compulsively:

SOD OFF!!!

Sheesssh.

Charlot that was nice but useless.

As you can see for yourself, only Elders take heed of Traditions.

Now I don't want to pull rank or whatever but I am NOT taking any more newbies from now on.

We are still in the aftermath of PLGate and we need to overcome that while assimilating the cockroach.

I am blockading all posts that are not mine.

That's it!!!

All of the guys I am currently playing with (I use that term in a very non descriptive sense {all the people who think I know their email or who sent something like attached files}) and who are still waiting for me ({see above}), might expect me to continue to play them ({or ignore depending on...}).

All Elders who had been ignored by me in the past (those I played with actually) can send turns, expect turns, turn turns.

Oh boy now I feel like singing the soundtrack of Forrest Gump...

For the rest of you, because of the sheer level of lameness you're oozing, I had bought Black & White.

You are so boring I am considering alternatives.

I give names to my followers.

Mostly those are yours and then I try to teach my monkey to pee on you.

It wouldn't obey.

So now my Creature is called Panzer Leader.

Terence or Bud Spencer or who ever you are (see if I care), instead of lurking you should have read some.

We don't need you.

Come to think of it we don't need anybody.

I just need Seanachai for grand standing and Peng to bare my children.

With tungsten on top...

But you are such a reknown lurker you know that surely.

[Iskander]

Iskander, stumbling around drunk -- again -- weaves his way into a little used side cavern in Schloss Peng...

*urp*

...hearing what appears to be steam leaking from an over-fermented barrel, and recognizing the horrible danger that represents (split beer, for those of you in Palm Beach County), he goes from 'weave' to full blown 'stagger'...

*hic*

...pausing for a tick to catch breath and steady his martini glass... ah! Yes! The martini! What at excellent idea! Completely forgetting the potential beer disaster ahead, Iskander brings the lovely Leyden's libation up to his blue lips...

FOUR FIGURES RUSH DOWN THE CORRIDOR, CAUSEING ISKANDER TO SPIN ABOUT AND ALMOST, JUST ALMOST NEARLY SPILL HIS DRINK

...recovering just enough to finish what he was doing (first things and all that), he drains the glass. "Wonder what that was?" he ponders, not well, of course. "Leftover SSN's from five Threads ago," he thought, using Capital Letters as he did.

"No matter, I'm sure... now where was that noise coming from?" He weaves on down the cavern....

[Terence]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon:

Hysteria, bombast, incoherent rambling, toadying to Seanachai and Peng. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You silly little man. Go boil your face.

[ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: Terence ]

[Lawyer]

Cesspoolers

Head on over to The_Capt thread below to support my mission for him to syndicate a TV show called Child Hunter.

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=019712

This idea could make millions. I need the money.

Thanks for your support.

[Lars]

Well, Training Panties, your lack of a reply is rather amusing in one such as yourself. In fact, it's the only amusing thing about you. Keep it up. I thought you would be running off at the mouth like a toilet overflowing by now. I have been following this thread since the very beginning and of all the lackwits who have posted here and then left never to be seen again, you are surely the most wretched.

First, you sink so low as to allow yourself to be squired by a Frenchman (a Frenchman, for God's sake, have you no shame?). Then, when even the French are tired of your pathetic mewlings, you somehow get foisted off on the Rambling Bard. This is not a good thing. Now your posts will be even longer but contain the same amount of wit (i.e. none).

I know you have read the rules, but it is obvious that you do not understand them. I wouldn't ordinarily post here but you are ruining the free flowing banter which usually takes place. This is NOT the place to beg people to try out your lame scenario, no doubt based on the plastic toyset of the same name. It is NOT the place to beg people to review articles you are writing, no doubt with the help of a ghostwriter. It is NOT the place to beg people to kick your FAQ thread to the top of the list, no doubt to boost your rather fragile self-esteem.

It IS the place for you to Die-A-Lot. Consider yourself more challenged than you usually are.

If anyone could screw up a pool of cess, you are it.

[Fuerte]

I just have to tell a story about my right little toe. It is broken. There was the story. I can't think of anything else but my right little toe nowadays.