Croda Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 Originally posted by Hamsters: Come on, PLEASE!!!!!! What a sad wast of space. SNeeZer and I are discussing this as we speak. Grovel some more while me mull it over. ------------------ Woot! - Maximus2k Stick around while the clown who is sick does the trick of disaster. You are quite correct, but sniper is an easier term to use than 'Semi-regular soldier hiding out and shooting enemies unawares.' - wwb_99 The New CessPool I AM CRODA, ENEMY OF THE SCIENTIFIC PROCESS, EVOLUTIONARY PROCESS AND REPRODUCTIVE PROCESS. PETERNZ OWNS MY SIG FILE AND MY MEAGRE SOUL: ANY REASONABLE OFFER ACCEPTED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 Originally posted by Croda: Power!! Please, oh kindest of Crodas. Please, oh keeper of Crodaburg. For you to allow us to fight for knighthood would be like dalem to get back his ears, like Goanna to get back his game, like Peng to get back his muse. Kindhearted Croda, must thee torment us so? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 I said GROVEL!, you wretch! Break out your Gollum and do it fast! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 Originally posted by Hamsters: Please, oh kindest of Crodas. Please, oh keeper of Crodaburg. For you to allow us to fight for knighthood would be like dalem to get back his ears, like Goanna to get back his game, like Peng to get back his muse. Kindhearted Croda, must thee torment us so? Puke, barf and hurl. This was disgusting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 27, 2001 Author Share Posted March 27, 2001 Lorak yo Lorak ... damn what does a Knight have to do to get some service around here ... what's that Bauhaus? ... well, yes, but I think not, I'll just post a note, thanks for the suggestion though: Lorak: Please be advised that Sir Mace and I have played our scenario to it's conclusion and wish the result to be recorded. Thanks ever so, Joe. What's that Bauhaus? ... Oh my, well yes it would appear that the note isn't completely clear on that ... {through gritted teeth} ... thanks Bauhaus. p.s. The result of our fight was a trivial, miniscule, practically microscopic, MINOR victory for the Ozzie goof previously known as Mace who, let it be known, was able to pull this miracle off ONLY because ALL of my armor was lost to me through various and sundry misfortunes that were clearly the result of GAMEY play on the part of my opponent. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 Originally posted by Abbott: This was disgusting. ... and thanks for being a contestant on Why do you think they call it Cess, dope! We've got some lovely parting gifts for you. Quick game update: US: dying heroes THEM: more-dying cheating gamey bastards So, talk of squirely jousts, eh? It was easy to forget the process, what with Foobar and Roborat's whiny "oh poor us, fighting on a goofy map with goofy units, aww, let's hug" non-AARs not coming with any regularity, venom or wit. At least there's talk of knighting them for their not having done anything memorable for such a consistently long time (as good a reason as any here in the 'Pool). I seem to have wandered back to the Thread too late for this new match, alas. I was out arranging a car bo--er... taxi... for my sponsor Joe Shaw (expect a Ryder truck with no license plates... just sit in the front seat and wait for the driver). Still, I'll enjoy pulping that hapless twit stevetherat in our normal QB while that rancid whore(s) Hamsters does its/their unwholesome thing to him in the Joust. Let the Joust focus your hatred of each other, yourselves, and pretty much everyone and everything, as is its holy Purpose. Agua Perdido ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roborat Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 Ok, I'm confused (don't bother, it's to easy). Why is Hamsters fighting a squire match, is he renewing his kniggithood, or is this just one of his personalities wanting it's own kniggithood. Oh, and I will be keeping those photos for the time being. Don't worry, they are well hidden, and are only to be used if required. ------------------ "With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal; In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 27, 2001 Author Share Posted March 27, 2001 Agua Perdido the finest of squires, once again went OUT OF HIS WAY to help his Knight and Liege:I seem to have wandered back to the Thread too late for this new match, alas. I was out arranging a car bo--er... taxi... for my sponsor Joe Shaw (expect a Ryder truck with no license plates... just sit in the front seat and wait for the driver). I must face the music I fear, good squire Agua for I have sad news to report. Just as I was leaving for the Porn Festiv ... uh ... the Opera, the neighbor lad ran up and breathlessly informed me that his mother was in need of immediate medical attention and needed transportation. I, of course, offered my taxi, told him the keys were in the ignition and went into the back yard for a nap. Imagine my surprise when I heard a large explosion from the street! The taxi was, I fear, defective and exploded, the siding on my double wide deluxe modular home was dented by some fragments and my lovely marijuan ... uh ... rose bushes were uprooted. Oh, the neighbors were slightly killed. The police seemed to take a great deal of interest in the accident so I gave them your name and address, they should be by momentarily. Don't be late, we have class this afternoon ... Gamey is as Gamey Does ... and Mace Does. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: ...until then he would do well to review the posts of MY Toady and Fawning Squire Agua Perdido for tips on how a squire should conduct himself. Foobar, I complete seriousness, if you take to acting like that useless lickspittle, I will carve you open and drag you around behind my car by your intestines. Don't go there. Now, annoy joe some more... it amuses me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: The police seemed to take a great deal of interest in the accident so I gave them your name and address. Jolly good, I look forward to straightening the whole mess out, just need a word with the missus (Honey! Did I leave my kevlar in this part of the compound? What? No, it's just some pi--uh, nice gentlemen we have to, uh, "receive"... Huh? No, he didn't "rat us out," don't be silly... The address on the form... oh... never mind). Sorry about that. Seems the wife made a terrible error when she was filling out the "In case of indictment, please send summons to" section of the Standard Squire Form 86 and put Lawyer's address by mistake. Don't worry, though, those fine chaps from the ATF and I have a colorful history, and I'm sure they'll mind his flower beds when they assault... er... visit his house. Always at your service, sir, etc, Agua Perdido [Edited to remove incriminating spelling.] ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! [This message has been edited by Agua Perdido (edited 03-27-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 Please all note: Bauhaus is currently on vacation. Kindly direct all demands to 'Sit Down' to Mace, who will fill in on 'thingy fixation' duty until Bauhaus's return. Mace has, I believe, named his 'Plonk' for reasons that probably have something to do with a Dr. Seuss story. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 27, 2001 Author Share Posted March 27, 2001 Seems the wife made a terrible error when she was filling out the "In case of indictment, please send summons to" section of the Standard Squire Form 86 and put Lawyer's address by mistake. Well don't be hard on her lad (sit DOWN Mace), these things will happen and, as Lawyer (no bolding for serfs) has pointed out on numerous occassions, he's a government lawyer and probably knows these chaps. No harm done. Berli ... are you formenting rebellion against the established order? And I might point out that your phrase "useless lickspittle" is, by CessPool definition, an oxymoron. ALL lickspittles are useful, it's not my fault that your {snicker} squire is so poor that he can't even handle THAT! Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: ALL lickspittles are useful... For what? Land fill? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 Originally posted by Seanachai: Mace has, I believe, named his 'Plonk' for reasons that probably have something to do with a Dr. Seuss story. Why, does it look like green eggs and ham or somefink? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 a lament by some broken man: ..Mace who, let it be known, was able to pull this miracle off ONLY because ALL of my armor was lost to me through various and sundry misfortunes that were clearly the result of GAMEY play on the part of my opponent Medical authorities warn that parking AFVs on the crest of a hill with their flanks exposed to a pair of veteran Stug IIIs is a health hazard! (gotta love those Stugs) Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 Originally posted by Seanachai: Kindly direct all demands to 'Sit Down' to Mace, who will fill in on 'thingy fixation' duty until Bauhaus's return What are the terms and conditions of employment? What are my entitlements? You can't expect me to fill a position without at least providing me with a duty statement. Mace (who is sitting down) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 Ahh, things are looking up here in mudville. New CD-rom is installed and turns finally made it out today. In tome news: Mark IV-win Joe shaw-loss Elvis-win Mark IV-loss As for a game update from the Lorak.... well, things are not looking too good. It seems that everyone has resorted to gamey tactics on me. Iskander is using artillery. Moriarty is trying to move into my town by sneeking in on my flanks.GiTom has even went so far is to try and capture VL's ! Croda and Goanna have sent me two obviously gamey setups. Only time will tell how far this gamey trend will go. The only person so far that isn't being gamey is Hakko. But he is still in that turkish prison. I'm sure he come out with all kinds of gamey ideas for the future. Lorak the loathed ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Combatmissionclub and for Kitty's sake =^..^= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 A couple of things. Let it be understood by all bastards in attendance that neither Robobrat or myself have asked to be granted kniggethood. In another time, and another place, it would warm my heart to hear fellow bastards recommend us for such a mundane honor. But the pool, being what it is, I can only suggest that our proponents go bugger each other. (Only exception being the Evil one, whom I fear too much to make such an affront) THE BANE OF MY EXISTANCE: The reason for my public statements of disgust, is that I am actively seeking the creator of this squire challenge scenario. Because I am going to kill him. "Welcome to Hell" was aptly named, and it is the singular worst thing that has ever happened to me. It has robbed me of my scarce wit, my positive outlook, and my very will to live. If I am ever appointed kniggethood, I will declare a Blood Hamster against the sadistic bastard, if he has the spine to show himself. Next, my opponent. His lack of initiative has made this experience even more unbearable. In his free time, I imagine he finds it very exciting to sit in public parks all day, feed fnord pigeons, and think naughty thoughts about underage girls. Had I anything left inside, I would hate him as well. But I am on a budget. The creator of "Welcome to Hell", is the only one I can currently afford any sentiment towards. And lastly, to my detractors. You can go bugger each other as well. Their leader is one Joe Shaw, a wrinkled up old curmudgeon, who makes most curmudgeons look like Game Show hosts. The Collectivism is strong in you, Joe. In the absence of other poolers, I am confidant that you are but a shell of a man. But luckily for you, that scenario is unlikely. This ****ehole seems to attract the worst kind of desperate sodomites. It is the last stop before Hades. You are in good company, Sir Shaw. A pox on your genitals. May the flames of allah consume your degenerate lifestyle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 Originally posted by Lorak: Iskander is using artillery... Lorak the loathed takes long pull on straw in Glenfarclas... MY! But it has been a while! What with all that uncontrolled additions to the Cess and all! My opponents know of what I speak, the rest of you are things that I might consider sniffing on the bottom of my "Flesh Goldenrod" colored Nike hiking shoes later. Ironic that Nike would call shoes that I would someday buy after my name from my GrogPorn days! Ironic? Hah! No, just drunk! Speaking of drunk, yeah, that smarmy git pubic servant, Lawyerserfsdontgetbold did whup me. BUT! But, only because in a moment of weakness I sent him a turn sober; that was the turn where the craven 'zook team jumped off the scout car before it ran up his last MkV's ass... deserved to die, that one did.... But 'tis of no here nor there... my Most Gracious Lord, jd, while recently briefly set back from his minor skirmish with the Collectivity of Hamsters, a denser concentration of bastardry and knavery have I never seen, is recouping his strength as I lend all of my Squire's ability in polishing his lance and buffing his vambrace. What a MAN my Keeeniggit is! I could just go on and on and on and on onto... er, about him, but time draws nigh on this, the next poor pitiful incarnation of the One True Cess. Hamsters!, you are a cravenly lot to strike down a man like my Lord, jd! Y'all are most fortunate that He has not commanded me forth on errantry 'gainst you! Richard Gere would find nothing of you butt (dammit Mace, not now!) a fistful of fur! PAH! returns to straw... giggles slightly... ------------------ "I send you a kaffis of mustard seed, that you may taste and acknowledge the bitterness of my victory." "Legal advice is very often divorced from reality in my humble opinion" - BTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 28, 2001 Author Share Posted March 28, 2001 Mark IV-win ... Joe shaw-loss Damn it Lorak what part of MACE Wins ... JOE loses did you fail to understand? OH ... that part huh? Well they both start with an "M" ... I guess we can't ask for much more than that from YOU. So ... FIX OR DO SOMEFINK! ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 Foobar !! Are you *gasp* looking for order here? Eris will not be pleased. "I Tell You: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star!" -Nietzsche Oh and Shaw... It is a given that I am an idiot. The record has been adjusted. Although I really didn't see a problem with it. You got credited for a loss, and that is all that truly matters. Lorak the loathed ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Combatmissionclub and for Kitty's sake =^..^= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 28, 2001 Author Share Posted March 28, 2001 Oh and Shaw... It is a given that I am an idiot. Well DUH, dididadahdidit let me get THAT flash out on the wires right NOW. The record has been adjusted. Although I really didn't see a problem with it. You got credited for a loss, and that is all that truly matters. Well only a MINOR loss, though, you got that part didn't you? Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Well DUH, dididadahdidit let me get THAT flash out on the wires right NOW. My Morse Code's a little rusty but doesn't that spell out "I'm an idjit, too"? ------------------ Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? -- Oddball Crap -- Moriarty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 28, 2001 Author Share Posted March 28, 2001 My Morse Code's a little rusty but doesn't that spell out "I'm an idjit, too"?? Joe man I can't believe I actually had to edit that! ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 03-27-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 Originally posted by Moriarty: My Morse Code's a little rusty but doesn't that spell out "I'm an idjit, too"? .- / .-. . ...- . .-.. .- - .. --- -. ---... / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / .- .-.. .-.. / .. -.. .--- ..- - ... -- .- -.-. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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