Stuka Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 That looks like Maces cat overtaking the 'olde ones'. Or is it a vole? Still can't see his finger though. What do you think Mr Tinkles, is it a vole or a puddy tat? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally snorted by that freak of society, Lawyer Finally, my new computer will be so far advanced over your Micron Milasma that I will smoke through the Peng thread and CM games like a Mexican goose eating greasy burritos at your favorite joint in East LA. <hr></blockquote> Too bad that won't increase your proficiency at playing CM. Ya Poofta! Next you'll be saying your unit is larger than everyone elses. More lawyer lies. What a fifth-grader you are. Poofta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka: That looks like Maces cat overtaking the 'olde ones'. Or is it a vole? Still can't see his finger though. What do you think Mr Tinkles, is it a vole or a puddy tat?<hr></blockquote> Can't be my cat! My cat's been buried down the backyard for some 4 years. Doesn't look like my Budgie either. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 My, my. Where to begin? I ask myself. So much to relate, to so many, who are so unworthy. Well, of course, we have to take 'unworthy' as being a relative concept. Because, after all, there are the Outer Boards, and Grogs, and general sodding idjits, after all. My emails, lately, are filled with breathless, starry-eyed fanzine questions like: "Ooh, Seanachai! What are Berli and Peng really like?! Is it true that Peng is ten feet tall and as recondite as a casual reading of Revelations?! Is Berli truly evil, and is it true that he's just Rasputin reborn?! Is it actually so that you're every maiden's heartfelt sigh of longing made flesh, and can post without reverting to references to bowels, thingies, and American football?" Lads and Ladies, I'm here to give you the Truth. As everyone knows, you will be constantly, laughingly, and eternally lied to in the Peng Challenge Thread, but it is still one of the few places on the whole Combat Mission Forum where you will actually be told the Truth. If you can see beyond the lines. If you can read between the trees. If you can take your pinch of snuff, and cast it over your shoulder for good luck. In short: if you're not a complete and utter goddamn pillock. Peng is, in fact, rather oddly tall. But he has a rather friendly, lantern-jawed look of meek psychosis that will fool the casual observer. Meeting Peng reminds me of an interview with a British journalist that I watched some years ago. The journalist was one of the few in the West who'd been granted an interview with Libya's Quaddafi. When asked if he'd found Quaddafi 'unstable', he replied: "Oh, no, he's not merely unstable. The man is barking mad!" For those who haven't experienced it, I recommend a 'networked' game with Peng. Berli, the Evil One, networked his laptop with Peng's on my dining room table, and we proceeded to play a number of TCP/IP game in my apartment. Peng carries on a running commentary during these games, all somewhat muttered and broken by laughter, non-sequitars, and ramblings that would make a hashshashin feel the need to clarify his position. If you can focus long enough to garner meaning, Peng will constantly give away unit/positional/mission intelligence. Mind, you'll suffer horrible spiritual dislocations trying to keep up with his general gibberish. Gods, I'm tired again. Tomorrow night: Berli. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Gods, I'm tired again. Tomorrow night: Berli.<hr></blockquote> Right then lads, time for another Justicariate intervention and not a moment too soon either. Seanachai let's have no more of this. Merely seeing Peng's name in print is sufficient to put me off my vanilla wafers and milk for hours. YOUR voluminous description was more and more than more than I needed, or indeed wanted, to know. But I digest. NOW you threaten to "tell all", to publish yet another "kiss and tell" (oh my that was an unfortunate choice of words wasn't it) article on Berli for the love of ... opps, almost said Gawd. Well it won't do, we won't have it, ignorance in this case IS bliss if not an excuse. Allow us our illusions that Berli MIGHT just be the result of actually eating all those brussel sprouts (do they not have sprouts in OTHER parts of Belgium then) right before bedtime. And now ... another in my series of ... CessPool Games I'm Playing Agua Perdido, my loyal and trustworthy former squire is, I regret to say, slower than the snail who reported a drive by robbery by a gang of turtles by saying: "It all happened so fast." He sends turns once every Ice Age. It doesn't help that this is yet another Berli spawned laughfest featuring bocage, a village, bocage, a Canuck attack, bocage, too few forces for the job, bocage ... well you get the idea. I'm tiptoeing my way around, fearing ATGs, 'schreks, 'fausts and nasty magazines in German. Agua Perdido maintains a constant, mosquito like whine about his green troops of which he ain't got enough of anyway and why don't I get a move on already. It's ghastly. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer: ...a low alchohol fruit martini...<hr></blockquote> Now, that's just insulting. How NICE that you and Joe are having offscreen trysts. They say there is someone for everyone. Anyway, I'm off to San Antonio, where I always draw tactical inspiration from the Alamo. (Roll, roll) Here, have some more latex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: vanilla wafers and milk for hours<hr></blockquote> Aaaah, good times... good times... My computer is broke. The Domestic Command Authority graciously authorized a shiny new optical mouse to replace my crappy old mechanical one (which, like General Pinochet's Cadillac, can't go left) on the occasion of my birthday (which I find to be disturbingly close to Peng's hatchiversary, or whatever one should call it... the undoubted source of any bad karma I've had to discharge at any time in my life). This prompted a spate of Fiscal New Year's upgrades which has resulted in: vi). Six hours spent retrieving all the data in my PDA after a simultaneous battery failure and HD crash Tango Uniform). An inoperable modem FUBAR). An intermittently-operable CD-ROM Lastly, a very comfortable-to-use, highly-ergonomic, razor-accurate-tracking, totally-bitchin'-lookin'-with-the-glowy-red-light-underneath-and-the-cool-clear-plastic-shell mouse #$%*@!). There is no third thing se7en). A baffling failure of both of my compression utilities (the only thing thusfar I have able to fix or do somefink) ). <--I hate you all enough to post THIS! UPDATES! Well, can't run CM without a CD-ROM, can't send or receive turns without a modem, and I don't actually play the game even when my computer works (ask anyone I'm "playing"), so WHY THE FECK WOULD I HAVE ANY UPDATES?! Pillocks. Oh, alright, here: I have come to a liberating revelation in my game with jdmorse. I'm defending with Canadians, right? If I win, he'll have been beaten by... Canadians! The horror of it! The shame! The calumny! The colonoscopy! If he wins, they were only Canadians (with their beady eyes and their flapping heads). Anyhow, I took so long setting up that I forget my plan and thought I was attacking. I knew that excellent starting position was too good to be true. Joe Shaw continues to be a whinging lump. "Ooh, I need more reinforcements! Just because I have the whole goddamn Devil's Brigade and a platoon of feckin' crack Shermans to batter your handful of knock-kneed conscripts, don't expect me to ADVANCE... well, .... EVER!" The reason I play Joe so slowly is that the nothing that happens between turns is more interesting than the turns themselves. Blah, blah, I'm playing other people, and I owe everyone turns or setups or whatever. Tough. You don't play me to play CM, you play me to wait. I'm the DMV of CM. Agua Perdido [Edited to announce: "Now serving #27" (Joe Shaw, stevetherat, jdmorse, Seanachai and Lars quickly check the slips of paper they pulled from the dispenser at the entrance... all bear numbers in the high three-digit range...)] [ 10-31-2001: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapdragon Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace: Can't be my cat! My cat's been buried down the backyard for some 4 years. Doesn't look like my Budgie either. Mace<hr></blockquote> Sorry Mace, but that time I visited down under but was able to avoid visiting any CM people by changing my name and flying in on an Iranian passport, I happened to get that cat of yours. It is now a trophy in my Peng Challenge Trophy room, stuffed and mounted (I wont say what mounted it, but Sean should be ashamed of himself) next to the picture of Joe Shaw playing Frank N Furter with no costume needed (work clothes I assumed) and across from the remains of my Dell which blew up when I was playing a match with Abbott, who has not been seen in these parts for decades and was, I believe, kidnapped by Berli and fed to an ostrich. Anyway, it is my birthday today, so sod off everyone for missing it. As a present, I declare myself a Yojimbo-Ronin Knight of the Peng Challenge Thread ©, since I know none of you would figure out what I really want for this very important birthday (my first one in two years that passed without tubes up my nose in fact). So, happy All Hallows Eve, I hope Papa Gedi blesses you all with copius regurgitation of sticky carmal sweets mixed with cheap Foster's beer and canned meat product. [ 10-31-2001: Message edited by: Slapdragon ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 Aah, yes. The budget plan. "Wiltz in 20 men or less". Yes, I scrounged some actual playing time last night, or rather early this morning, and partook of a Wild Bill scenario. The snow was falling and the air was crisp and clean. Needless to say, by the end of the scenario, all those hapless Amis were heading back to their buddies in Bastogne (thems that could walk or run anyway), and we Uber-truppen made our billets in some nice warm houses for the night. The only down point is that an Ami TD took out one of my Pumas that was on the point. But c'est la vie, and besides, that's why he was out there. On the left flank, the Panther and Hetzer combination played a vicious game of cat and mouse with the US armor, leaving burning hulks as testament to the superiority of well-sloped armor, both ricocheting numerous strikes from the Ami armor. The right flank saw massed (4) Sdkfz fire suppressing the Ami infantry from a distance, while the valiant Hamstertruppen climbed over hill and dale to the VL. The center was fairly quiet, right up until the VL flag turned for me. But by then, any Amis advancing to contest the VL were caught in a crossfire from each flank. In the end, I suffered 5 KIA, 13 wounded, and 1 Puma lost while the fleeing Amis lost 42 KIA, 87 wounded, 2 mortars, 1 gun, and 3 vehicles lost. Before you all get your panties in a wad, NO, this is not a post about an ongoing Cesspool game. And be happy about it, for were it indeed any of you Cesspool lackeys, I could have "Waltzed into Wiltz" with under 10 casualties. To borrow a term... WANKERS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Anyway, it is my birthday today, so sod off everyone for missing it. As a present, I declare myself a Yojimbo-Ronin Knight of the Peng Challenge Thread ©, since I know none of you would figure out what I really want for this very important birthday (my first one in two years that passed without tubes up my nose in fact).<hr></blockquote> You need to give a chap a chance to get online you know, before you ASSUME that I've forgotten your birthday. Nothing could be further from the truth ... unless of course it's the truth. What you really want for your birthday, what your crave every day in fact, is ATTENTION! Therefore, on your hatching day: You Ain't NO FECKING KNIGHT, you oozing, pus-filled carbuncle on the buttocks of humanity. You're barely a Squire and that only because Berli felt sorry for you ... as indeed we all do. You have, for some reason, found it necessary to inflict yourself upon us and make our lives even more of a living hell than normal, and this notice of your meaningless existence is far more than you deserve. There, Happy Birthday. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: [QB Peng is, in fact, rather oddly tall. [/QB]<hr></blockquote> Now, are you sure you're not oddly short? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted October 31, 2001 Share Posted October 31, 2001 I am, In fact, oddly, precisely 6 feet tall. No more, no less. And Good Bard, The barking mad gibbering during TCP/IP play is a rudimentary form of Psyops, although, as Elvis has pointed out, it fails in the face of liquid "tactics." Emails attached to PBEM files would be filled with the unedited ravings you heard, if only my fingers worked as fast as my brain. NOTE: That last bit is in NO WAY intended to imply that the speed of my brain has anything to do with cogent, coherent, useful functioning. It is merely a reflection of the relative response rates of digital motor function and neural networking, so don't go on about it as if I were claiming elsewise. swine. Splatty, may your teeth grow long and your hair fall out. In other words may you have many more days like this. Oh, alright, Happy Birthday, dammit. Peng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon: Sorry Mace, but that time I visited down under but was able to avoid visiting any CM people by changing my name and flying in on an Iranian passport, I happened to get that cat of yours. It is now a trophy <hr></blockquote> I remember when that cat died. I sat up all night with it waiting for it to leave this plane of existance, hoping beyond hope that it would die painlessly and quickly - of course the bloody thing held out until about 5am and KEPT ME UP ALL BLOODY NIGHT!!!!. The following day, I dug a hole in the backyard and held a funeral for it, for the benefit of my two children (and also because of the difficulty of flushing dead cats down the toilet). So Slappy, if you want to dig up decomposed, mangy, maggot infested, matty cat carcases to decorate your house on your birthday, please don't let me stop you. Btw, I'm sure I can keep an eye out for some dead Kangaroo on the side of the road for you for Christmas, I'll even try to find one where the internal organs are exposed and the skin turning a nice green color. Anyway, Babby Hirthday Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 Somewhere along the line I'm sure I've said, or thought, or at least emoted that I would say somethink nice about Slappy once in a blue moon. As it so happens, tonight is a blue moon, so here I go: Happy Birthday. Wanker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace: Btw, I'm sure I can keep an eye out for some dead Kangaroo on the side of the road for you for Christmas, I'll even try to find one where the internal organs are exposed and the skin turning a nice green color. Mace<hr></blockquote> Mace I saw a great big one up near Ararat the other day, and it was only missing half a leg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedy: Mace I saw a great big one up near Ararat the other day. <hr></blockquote> Was it shaved? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Fox Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: Happy Birthday.<hr></blockquote>Well I don't have the remotest inclination to respond similarily to slapdown's rather pitiable attempt to curry favour. You can rest assured that unlike him when the time comes I won't be trumpeting it about the place in a desperate last-ditch quest for acceptance. I note with interest that some of the more vacuous denizens of this place have responded with a distasteful bonhomie. I suggest they seek therapy to eliminate that last vestige of ugly conviviality from their characters. No doubt all are delighted to hear that Mace is 'rooting for' slapdown on his birthday. The concept of slapdown with a bunch of tubes rammed into his nasal cavity has a certain piquancy to it. I would be delighted to oblige and have 3 metres of 30mm PVC reticulation pipe around here somewhere which would be perfect for the job. It kinda brings new and appropriate meaning to the traditional Aussie greeting "Here, get another tube into you". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 Oh Fimon Sox, how terribly, awfully grand of you to honour this place with your presence. Now, if you can, construct a sentence from the following words. Off.....Sod..... No,no, thank you [edited because it annoys certain individuals] [ 10-31-2001: Message edited by: Stuka ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 What am I doing working so late? Well it's the end of the month and that should be good enough for anyone forced to work with timetables dictated by telephone companies and demonic parasites. Actually, telcos are demonic parasites, so that was a needless redundancy. Why are telcos demonic and parasitic? Well, I don't know, but I'm sure it's in their mission statements somewhere. hate hate hate hate hate. and so on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stixx Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedy: Mace I saw a great big one up near Ararat the other day, and it was only missing half a leg.<hr></blockquote> Cool... Or there is a Bandicoot pressed in to the gaps between the road outside my place. Any use to ya? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stixx: Cool... Or there is a Bandicoot pressed in to the gaps between the road outside my place. Any use to ya?<hr></blockquote> All dead critters should be forwarded to Slappy, care of ???? Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapdragon Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 Send dead critters to me at: The Peng Challenge Thread Simon Fox Memorial Museum and Planetarium P O Box 3280 Columbia, SC 29201-3280 Kitty is currently designing uniforms for them, and they will be placed in displays around WW2 technology like the tripoded Bren Anti Battleship machinegun, and the Nuclear bomb proof Tiger tank. Some of them are being used to provide authentic smells, such as the Mace and Stuka wax display, and the Simon says interactive game of mistaken ideas. Also, Knights of the Peng Challenge thread will be requested to sit for their own wax images in the near future, although Kitty informs me that she is having trouble with the combination of stale vomit and rug burns needed to do a suitable smally of Peng and is especially having problems with the Joe Shaw odor of Chanel #5 and pig sweat. Ideas for properly creating these are welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMplayer Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon: Send dead critters<hr></blockquote> Can you send a file before work? I'm really anxious to see how much more you're getting chewed up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMplayer Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon: Ideas for properly creating these are welcome.<hr></blockquote> Okay, here are some typical habitats you could place the wax figures in: And...(yep that's someone's naughty bits on the screen) [ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabpub Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 I absolutely love what you've done with your place. Pls send me the address of your decorator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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