CombinedArms Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 We all rely on the info to be found in CM briefings, but many statements one encounters in them seem instantly dubious. Often the mere appearance of such a statement leads you to expect the opposite of what is being claimed. What are some your favorite--or least favorite--examples? Just to get the ball rolling, I'll begin with the obvious: "Little or no enemy armor is expected in the area." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer_Meyer Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 "You will be facing in-experienced and poorly armed troops, it will be a cake walk, trust me" or "resistance will be light" or "the weather will be clear and you will have full air support" one more "you will recieve plentyfull re-inforcemnts". Uhm...yea, briefings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 Only light resistance expected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingfish Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 God is with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffsmith Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 Today's objective will be a piece of cake... [ 08-14-2001: Message edited by: jeffsmith ] [ 08-14-2001: Message edited by: jeffsmith ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louie the Toad Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 How about: "Cheer up lads, you'll be home by Christmas." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wild Bill Wilder Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 My favorite and one I love to use when I am going to sock it to you is..."Intelligence reports indicate..." If you ever see this in one of mine, be careful! Wild Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FFE Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars: Only light resistance expected.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You forgot to mention the stuff before you get that one line... Combat Mission *click* Play Game *click* -- Scanning Disk for Scenarios... -- Scenario Name: From Peng to Infinity Description: 120 turns, Huge Allied and Axis forces square off in a massive 50k Meeting Engagement, which will surely destroy your processor as soon as you press Go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParaBellum Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 German forces in the area consist of older men and Hitlerjugend kids with bycicles... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stixx Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 Retreat is not an option. How often do you hear that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fieldmarshall Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 I can tell you about a briefing that isnt in a scenario but I am sure was dubious: Breifing 1st B-24 Bombgroup going to bomb ploesti: The anti-aircraft guns are manned by poorly trained Romanian volunteers who are sick of the war, the same can be expected of the Luftwaffe piltots protecting the base...turns out, the best of the best in Luftwaffe pilots, and elite, German AA gunners with radar spotting.... bet those pilots had a number on the person who briefed em. -Fieldmarshall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeadams Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 Just prior to the start of the batlle of the Bulge the US troops were told that German troops facing them were minimal and the artillery consisted of one horse-drawn battery. When an entire Panzer Corps' artillery opened up the morning of the offensive, one of the soldiers was heard to comment 'they must be working that poor horse to death' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tss Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 Well, this is not really a dubious briefing statement, but it is more of the case of a completely dubious briefing. First some background. Polish Karl Arnold Majewski had somehow ended up in the Finnish army some time in the 30s. He commanded a cavalry squadron during the Winter War and rose to the rank of Major receiving command of a batallion in the early days of the Continuation War. He was well-known for his light-hearted approach to war in general as well as for his total lack of self-preservation instincts (he was later killed by a sniper when he walked erect to the no-man's land to inspect Soviet casualties after a failed Soviet attack against a stronghold). Anyway, in January 1942 he was ordered to organize a two-batallion raid to destroy the Soviet supply center at Maj-Guba (I think, my sources are at home) and to cut the Murmansk railway for some time. No written copy of the briefing he gave to the officers of the two batallions has survived, and probably none was ever done. One of the officers later told that the briefing went as follows: Majewski: "We do glorious raid for Mannerheim. We go Murmansk railway, let Russkie encircle us, hold it three day, come home." (Majewski's Finnish was quite bad) Some officer: "What about supply?" M: "The Devil. Didn't think it." (to the supply officer): "You come with us?" Supply officer: "Yes." M: "Then, supply where I am." Veterinary officer (who was young and didn't know Majewski, yet): "What position should the veterinary team hold in the advance column?" M: "The Devil. Vet be where horses be." Veterinary officer: "But what about wounded horses?" M: "We kill them. We eat them. We burn the sledges." That concluded the whole briefing. After it, Major Murole, the commander of the assisting batallion, took the company commanders of the both batallions with him and went on to produce a real plan. The attack was not particularly successful, the supply depot went up in flames and the railroad was blocked for some 10 hours, but the attackers--especially Majewski's batallion--suffered way too many frostbite casualties (over 10% severe cases), since they were not physically fit for the 5-day sleepless skiing and fighting in the forest. (Murole's border jägers were experienced patrolmen and didn't have such problems). - Tommi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 LOL!! Rommel, that quote came from the second or third battle of "Across the Reich", didn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gen. Sosaboski Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 "At any rate I don't think they're serviceable." "Then why are they camouflaged sir?" "Standard procedure Fuller." (Bridge Too Far) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voidhawk Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 "Lead with armor." voidhawk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blenheim Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 "you´re facing a depleted SS company, with no armour. As the resistance is going to be light, your assigned Shermans will be changed with Stuarts" (Of course, the moron who wrote that put a two Panthers and a KT there... ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMplayer Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 If the roadblock gives you any trouble at all, bypass it and take up direct fire positions along the wooded ridge to help Baker Co out of their tight spot, and cover our advance later. You should come across friendly footsloggers south of the road. Pick up any of the Regiment's doughs you meet on the way so they can clean out snipers or booby traps that may be left in the village. Reinforcements: We'll be passing through your positions to start the counterattack as soon as we've opened the main road. Now get up there fast! [ 08-15-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted August 15, 2001 Share Posted August 15, 2001 From Brigade HQ 214 Brigade, 43rd Wessex Infantry Division, Brigadier Essame commanding. Intelligence assessment Maltot: 'The village is lightly defended, no Panzers.' 9th July 1944. Anyone interested in what happened next can read it here: http://www.hill112.com/remember.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CombinedArms Posted August 15, 2001 Author Share Posted August 15, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wild Bill Wilder: My favorite and one I love to use when I am going to sock it to you is..."Intelligence reports indicate..." If you ever see this in one of mine, be careful! Wild Bill<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I KNEW you were toying with us, Wild Bill. Of course, as some of the other comments indicate, briefings in real life were probably even WORSE! BTW--I like "Lead with armor"! LOL. I think I ran into that one in "Drive to Mortain" and fortunately, I ignored it. Never a good idea if your armor is of the Sherman variety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CombinedArms Posted August 21, 2001 Author Share Posted August 21, 2001 I just again ran into a good one I've seen before in late in the war Allied briefings: "The German's can't possibly have much left." The you face a dozen Panthers, Tigers and KTs, plus a mass of fanatical infantry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moon Posted August 22, 2001 Share Posted August 22, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>BTW--I like "Lead with armor"! LOL. I think I ran into that one in "Drive to Mortain" and fortunately, I ignored it. Never a good idea if your armor is of the Sherman variety.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Argh, the plot has been exposed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow 1st Hussars Posted August 22, 2001 Share Posted August 22, 2001 "The terrain is completely flat, and without cover. The Germans will have nowhere to hide except the town." WTF was this guy thinking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tripps Posted August 22, 2001 Share Posted August 22, 2001 Vienna, a custom made map, had briefings that just made me laugh, note, all spelling mistakes are taken from the quote. the German one: General Schmid, i'm pround to send you the best wishes of highcommand. the totally destruction of the tankforces was a good sign of all german units. the battle isnt over. we can still win the war. we made reinfocements available to you. the revenge of the british forces is sure to come. you order is to smash any attack in your sector. dont even think about retreat. gez. Bayerlein generaloberst p.s. stay in the hills dont come back to Berlin. and the british one: Major, I know you overheard the doom of tankcompanies Alpha and Bravo. -snip- p.s. month thinks there shouldnt be to many POW's do you understand! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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