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TAKING THE BLOODY PENG THREAD DOWNUNDER


Mace

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Sean-snoopy-doggy-dog-achai,

What you lack in tactical military prowess you make up for in your rhetoric.

While most of us have one of these redeeming qualities or both I "pity the fool" who lacks both....

At least we can hold comfort in the fact we just don't plainly suck like M.Bates. Truly there is no other example of why the selling of organs of living people should be legalized. People like him just can't justify why they should be allowed to breath oxygen and take up space.

Jeff

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>At least we can hold comfort in the fact we just don't plainly suck like M.Bates. Truly there is no other example of why the selling of organs of living people should be legalized. People like him just can't justify why they should be allowed to breath oxygen and take up space.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, at least I have more words in my vocabulary than 'suck'. Look at my signature. Witty, no?

While this thread is full of reprobates, I am MASTER bates.

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Great Quotes

Maximus: "And what's that Rob? The rest of the world doesn't care? I can assure you that when Boris Yeltsin stepped down in Russia last New Years, the world cared. Oh wait, you live in Canada. That's right, Canada only cares 'aboot' Canada. The whole world could be on the brink of destruction and as long as Canadian soil isn't involved, they could care less. Does the phrase, "Isolationist China" mean anything to ya?"

Rob/1: "Lets just say I dont like americans ok... if you have a prolbem with that Minumis is one of the resions."

jshandorf: "Suck"

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I can imagine no fate worse than to be quoted in an M.Bates sig. Considering the company I have in that spot I can already start the feel my mere existence in the world to fade just ever so slightly.

The reason I use the world "suck" to describe you is because you are worthy of no other word larger than 4 letters and since "suck" fits the bill so nicely I use it. Truly only one as you can be so undeserving of a true insult. Anything more would be a waste of effort.

Jeff

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Shandorf!!!

(Slap across the face)

Do you here me Shandorf (Slap … Slap)

What the hell are you doing, talking to the animals. If you throw the monkey's **** back at him, you only encourage him. Better just to let him play in peace with his own doodoo.

So, for you:

GRIM REAPER: Shut up! Shut up, you American. You always talk, you Americans. You talk and you talk and say 'let me tell you something' and 'I just wanna say this'. Well, you're dead now, so shut up!

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Oh, thank god for you, M. Bates. The shining light of your wit has kept me sane in these bleak, bleak days.

Who besides the mighty Bates would have the strength and wisdom to quote other people in his signature?

Who besides the insightful Bates would have the perserverence to continue fighting the good fight in such a den of iniquity as the Peng Thread?

Who besides the marvellous Bates would have the razor-edged sense of humor to make masturbation jokes? Bauhaus doesn't count.

Who besides me thinks that Bates should place his head through a closed window?

------------------

Grand Poobah of the fresh fire of Heh.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I can imagine no fate worse than to be quoted in an M.Bates sig. Considering the company I have in that spot I can already start the feel my mere existence in the world to fade just ever so slightly.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Rob/1 might have spelt 'suck' differently - the 'f' is only two spaces away from 's' on the qwerty keyboard.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The reason I use the world "suck" to describe you is because you are worthy of no other word larger than 4 letters and since "suck" fits the bill so nicely I use it. Truly only one as you can be so undeserving of a true insult. Anything more would be a waste of effort.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I can't begin to imagine what I have done to offend you so, but it might just be my cheap and nasty persona.

By the way, I now have Illustrator 9, so I might start uploading some artwork to the board unless I get some deserved recognition and respect for my campaigning to improve Combat Mission.

My signature is repeated, for annoyance.

------------------

Great Quotes

Maximus: "And what's that Rob? The rest of the world doesn't care? I can assure you that when Boris Yeltsin stepped down in Russia last New Years, the world cared. Oh wait, you live in Canada. That's right, Canada only cares 'aboot' Canada. The whole world could be on the brink of destruction and as long as Canadian soil isn't involved, they could care less. Does the phrase, "Isolationist China" mean anything to ya?"

Rob/1: "Lets just say I dont like americans ok... if you have a prolbem with that Minumis is one of the resions."

jshandorf: "Suck"

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Oh, thank god for you, M. Bates. The shining light of your wit has kept me sane in these bleak, bleak days.

Who besides the mighty Bates would have the strength and wisdom to quote other people in his signature?

Who besides the insightful Bates would have the perserverence to continue fighting the good fight in such a den of iniquity as the Peng Thread?

Who besides the marvellous Bates would have the razor-edged sense of humor to make masturbation jokes? Bauhaus doesn't count.

Who besides me thinks that Bates should place his head through a closed window?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

In more civilised times your head would be hanging off a bridge to warn others against such flagrantly offensive behaviour.

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While clawing my way for the exit, the dank, putrid air getting noticeably more breathable the daylight streaming into the outer regions starting to warm my 'tourists' body. I happened to glance back (a common mistake I grant you, often committed throughout history, I refer to Sauls wife.)

What greeted my eyes was Nothing so dramatic as my person turning into a pillar of salt from the feet upwards, but the curious sight of various Peng thread 'legends' congratulating themselves on my easy and humane dispatch back to the more normal world above.

Naturally this irked me just a little, I hesitated, took a long hard look at the pinprick of distant light that is the exit from this fetid pool of filth, took one last deep breath of the sweet air that manages to penetrate to this outer level,sighed and plunged back down into the gloom...

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by M. Bates:

Well, at least I have more words in my vocabulary than 'suck'. Look at my signature. Witty, no?

While this thread is full of reprobates, I am MASTER bates.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I probably wouldn't use the term witty and M.Bates in the same phrase. It's kind of an oxymoron (how's that for vocabulary?). So at this point why don't you take a jar full of jelly in one hand, a porno mag in the other and BEAT IT.

------------------

Just call me Bruce.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

My signature is repeated, for annoyance.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Off target as usual, Bates. You are the annoyance and a minor one at that. Those "great quotes" you tout are pathetic. Maximus and Rob/1 are a couple of truly great thinkers.

Jeff is the only one in your sig with a brain and the ability to use it. You, on the other hand, conveniently take his "quote" out of context ... a practice common to the weak of mind and character ... to suit your purposes. You have done nothing to "better" the game or the board. One can hope only that your threatened "artwork" would be sufficient to get you banned.

You were nothing when you came in, you are nothing now.

Fellow, 'pudlians, just as with Makhno and others who attempted to befoul our foul home, ignoring Bates likely is the best course.

Just my zwei pfennig.

------------------

"Moriarty, you suck." -- Dunno, but somebody must've said it somewhere along the line

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M. Bates wrote:

> I now have Illustrator 9, so I might start uploading some artwork to the board

Ha, well I just bought a new keyboard, so expect to see my name soon on the cover of a string of best-selling novels.

Version 9? Golly, and there's little old me still on version 7. I am but a charlatan, a pretender! I can't even draw!

(fervent mutterings) Hear that...? Did you hear what he just said...? Yes, version 7... What's the world coming to... Not a real artist... Not even a real person... Two version numbers behind... Shame on his mother...

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Moriarty:

Jeff is the only one in your sig with a brain and the ability to use it.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Are you insinuating I can think? Okay! That's it! Boy, am I gonna teach you a lesson! This will be the LAST time you talk about somebody's brain like that!

Prepare yourself for a setup!

Jeff

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Right! The 'Pool' must be preserved smile.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, looks like things aren't fine in the real world, the bulletin board threatening to go belly-up due to the great load our fine, intelligent and enlightened discussions are placing on software not meant to process our pearls of wisdom!

In response to Berli's *GACK* call, could I suggest that we remove the hands of certain 'pool' contributors (reduces the load because they can't type any longer)?

Perhaps Rob/1 or Master Bates could be our first sacrificial lambs?

Mace

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 12-05-2000).]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DVN-UK:

I hesitated, took a long hard look at the pinprick of distant light that is the exit from this fetid pool of filth, took one last deep breath of the sweet air that manages to penetrate to this outer level,sighed and plunged back down into the gloom... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This happens a lot, actually. Surprising how many of them decide they like it down here. Ah, well, time to do the public service announcement.

DVN-UK, YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAN! WANT TO STAY DOWN HERE DO YOU, LADDIE? WANT TO HAVE YOUR OWN CRACK AT THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD?! I'VE HAD PETS PUT DOWN THAT SHOWED MORE INTELLIGENCE, SPUNK, AND RAW ABILITY THAN YOU'VE SHOWN SO FAR, AND I'M ONLY SPEAKING OF THE RODENTS! A TOY POODLE WOULD HAVE MORE CHANCE OF SURVIVAL HERE THAN YOU. YOU'D BETTER RECONSIDER, TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AROUND, AND THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT EVOLUTION HAS LEFT YOU CHRONICALLY UNFIT FOR THE CHALLENGE OF THIS PLACE, AND THAT YOUR UNDOUBTEDLY LAUGHABLE EDUCATION PROBABLY ISN'T GOING TO HELP MAKE UP THE SHORT FALL IN NATURAL ABILITY!

Now, all that said, welcome to the Peng Challenge Thread. Best bet is pick out someone weak and conciliatory, and lash them with your wit, satirize them, sneer at them while belittling all that they have or ever will achieve, use language like a rapier, quote freely from literature and song, and amaze us with your ability.

You are, of course, probably compeletely incapable of that. That being the case, you may descend to the more popular alternative of low name calling, body parts removal and/or insertion, and posturing.

I shall observe your future progress with much interest...

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Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

OGSF has been completly fooled by my brilliant maskirovka into thinking he has this game won. I will almost feel sorry for him when he realises he has no hope of victory. The sad thing about it is he tries, he really does.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What a silly person. He can't have more than a platoon left in the whole world, and that one shot to bits. Oh, and a little Waspe thingy. "Let loose the dogs of war!!!" he cried, and his little Waspe thingy came trundling towards one of my 75mm AT guns as fast as it could go. "Trundle trundle" it went. "Bang!" went my AT gun. His Waspe trundled on....to a sqeaky stop about ten meters in front of my AT gun. The surviving crew member fell out onto the ground.

Speedy, if you had thrown a live haddock onto the ground in front of my MLR, and then watched carefully to see if it's flapping and gasping caused my lads to surrender, I would have felt some sympathy for you. As it is your tactics display no such pizazz.

Give up laddie, and let me show you how it's done in a mirror game.

OberGrupenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DVN-UK:

I happened to glance back (a common mistake I grant you, often committed throughout history, I refer to Sauls wife.)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, you refer to Lot's wife, but you're too bloody thick to know it. Or perhaps you've confused "Saul" with "stall", "pillar" with "pile" and "salt" with, ah, "squat". Or somefink.

Perhaps you should grow a pair of testaments and do some homework requiring both hands.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DVN-UK:

While clawing my way for the exit, the dank, putrid air ...blah, blah, drone, mumble, dribble, blurt.....sighed and plunged back down into the gloom... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wha hey, Ah'm lookin' a' yoo Jimmy, an' Ah thank Ah'm gwinta hurl ma haggis a-cos of it! Yer a poncy talkin' Sassanach bow-legged bastarrrd wi' flared norstrils, ain'ye? Wi' yer fancy pants verbage ye nae fit tae be a sod stackers stacker o' soddin' sod stacker's sods....ya sod. Ne'er mind tha' waffley bastarrrd's toy poodle, if mae dog's cat dragged ye inta mae hoose, Ah'd pour a wee dram o' kerosene on ye and burrrrn ye tae crispy kibbly bits, feed ye tae ma scrawny cat, shoot mae cat, feed him tae ma dog, shoot mae dog and bury him an a pile o' stankin' compost which Ah's prrrroceed tae burrrn until it were black crispy ****e tae be sprinkled on mae rose bushes. An then Ah' pee ain mae rose bushes. Ya poncy sod.

Sod off.

MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

Wha hey, Ah'm lookin' a' yoo Jimmy, an' Ah thank Ah'm gwinta hurl ma haggis a-cos of it! Yer a poncy talkin' Sassanach bow-legged bastarrrd wi' flared norstrils, ain'ye? Wi' yer fancy pants verbage ye nae fit tae be a sod stackers stacker o' soddin' sod stacker's sods....ya sod. Ne'er mind tha' waffley bastarrrd's toy poodle, if mae dog's cat dragged ye inta mae hoose, Ah'd pour a wee dram o' kerosene on ye and burrrrn ye tae crispy kibbly bits, feed ye tae ma scrawny cat, shoot mae cat, feed him tae ma dog, shoot mae dog and bury him an a pile o' stankin' compost which Ah's prrrroceed tae burrrn until it were black crispy ****e tae be sprinkled on mae rose bushes. An then Ah' pee ain mae rose bushes. Ya poncy sod.

Sod off.

MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Alright, I know a lot of the lads have been put off by OGSF's weird Scottish gibberish, but that was actually fairly inspired, if you take the time to wade through it. I vote the useless git gives up his horrible original name, and gives up his horrible spew of initials, takes on the whole shame of his second 'juniour member' status (after all, everyone who really counts would know the history of his constant reincarnations), and come back with a truly good handle. I mean, the poor tykes' been around long enough to establish a personna, just didn't have the sodding sense to realize what that would be before he committed to his otherwise idiotic screen names.

I'm sure I'll catch ****e for this one, but I just love the dénouement where he pisses on the roses. By any other name, they would be as damp with piss...

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

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Well, once again there are problems on the general Board, and the low and vulgar point fingers at us. Join me now, my brothers (you useless, vulgar swine) in a bit of a sing-song of the new anthem I wish to put forward. It is to the tune of 'For He Is An Englishman' from the H.M.S Pinafore.

Hiram: He Is a Cesspooler, behold him!

All: He is a Cesspooler!

For he himself has said it.

And it's much to his discredit,

That he is a Cesspooler!

He could have been a great debater

or a grog, or CC hater

or just have played the game!

or just have played the game!

But in spite of all temptations

To avoid much condemnation

he remains a Cesspooler

he remains a Cesspooer!

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I vote the useless git gives up his horrible original name, and gives up his horrible spew of initials, takes on the whole shame of his second 'juniour member' status (after all, everyone who really counts would know the history of his constant reincarnations), and come back with a truly good handle.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

'e fancies 'imself a Scot ... I say Haggis.

------------------

"Moriarty, you suck." -- Dunno, but somebody must've said it somewhere along the line

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gentleworms:

not since the pfaltzgraph convergance of '37 has an event with such profound implications for the universe {as most of us are accustomed to interpreting it} occurred. it was a meeting of mythic, epic proportions. at such an encounter worlds could be traded, alliances forged, and the fate of entire galaxies decided at the iron whim of one or more of the participants.

there was an edgy, sickening, sphincter clenching atmosphere in the bar where the prinicpals of this little morality play met; could it be that the weight of the decisions to be born here were too awsome, or was it simply the stench of 3 year old sour beer and stale cigarettes? there was a definite odor of fear in the air. it hung and clung to one's hair like a rancid, diseased fog.

the deal was struck: elvis and hiram were a team. peng would go it alone. the party proceded to casa elvis, and were greeted by the outrageously proportioned bevis and mojo: cats for whom the words: "no more food now, kitty" were obviously never uttered. elvi's long - suffering spousal unit, now gravid and glowing with preturnatural motherhood, relinquished command of the console, a scenario was chosen, and hostilities commenced.

the evening's outcome was approximately as satisfying as dry-humping an ugly stepsister who got freaked out and left you high and dry in the coatroom at your confablated families' wedding reception. we were left with an unsatisfying, unredeemable, ineffable sense of lust and horror. where is the blood? where are the desperate moans of the doomed and dead? where is the orgiastic orgasm of pain and suffering and VICTORY?!

it is in the mail - no really, i promise.

yes, we dispersed in a gloom of liquor, deepening cold, and broken dreams. i arrived safely at my hotel, only after negotiating trecherous roadways and inscrutible drivers. people who have no business owning cars, let alone driving them without training wheels. hiram buggered off to his cell from which he had been granted a temporary liberty, and elvis, he retired to graceland where he enjoyed peanut butter and banana samiches three times a day.

we have promised to continue flogging the beast via email,and i trust our intentions are noble, and will be fulfilled. and yet, the nagging (so often associated with my wife) thought occurs to me that this thing will never end now. hiram has departed a lot, elvis drifts in and out of a syphillitic nightmare of street-drug denial, and i? well, i am not prepared to travel here for the sole purpose of finishing a game. so we shall see about this thing.

It will get worse before it gets better.

Peng

------------------

"I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..."

Hamsters/Meeks(!)

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