Why can't someone real start the Peng Challenge Thread?

[PawBroon]

Five in the morning.

Bruised and battered by too many PBEMs, I stand up and stay still, erect.

My stiff body is aching for a coffee.

Five in the morning and I’m already thinking stiff and erect in the same damn minute…

There’s no coffee left.

In Hell’s Kitchen , you’d be better off if you wanted to ground cockroaches instead.

I go down and head straight to the shish kebab store where beaten cops and abused whores are waiting for the night to wear off.

It was supposed to be simple though.

If you were not part of us then you were most certainly expected elsewhere.

If you weren’t a True Patriot, chances were that some of your French neighbors will report you to the police because that’s how them buggers work.

If beyond all reasons you decided to stay there, then do as the Romans do.

Now you got me going all classical.

I hate you.

We didn’t need you to realize how superior we were as opposed to your blundering idiocy.

Number your turns.

Respect your mother.

Beware of the Bald One when the Moon is full.

[WineCape]

I believe the sayings in India could be a little bizarre and even suspect, no doubt.

Charl Theron

------------------

If you compare ours with the best of French, South African, Spanish, Italian, Californian and even Chilean wines, we are definitely not there. But if you compare it to the worst of these wines, we are definitely better.

-- Anonymous vintner near Bangalore, India, 1994

[Tread Head]

[Berlichtingen]

Good God man... you are more incoherent than ever

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon:

Five in the morning and I’m already thinking stiff and erect in the same damn minute<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I always heard Bromide in the tea will fix that.

Mace

[Lawyer]

I'm still waiting for someone REAL to start the Peng Challenge thread.

It's amazing how starting an MBT brings out the previously invisible to get their name in lights. At least PawBroon did the start-up routine quickly and creatively. But I'm sure the Justicar will be along shortly to punish him for that.

I take some pleasure in beating Mace here, which means he is "tied up" beating things that ought not to be beaten so regularly or so hard. Either that, or it's perpetual lunchtime again in Oz.

Edited after posting to remark that I didn't beat Mace here afterall. You just can't beat a professional gub'ment sloth at his own game.

My current crop of PBEM's are coming along fine, thank you for asking.

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Edited after posting to remark that I didn't beat Mace here afterall. You just can't beat a professional gub'ment sloth at his own game.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Especially when he's home for the evening (remind me to tell you how time-zones work one day).

Mace

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Slapdragon]

Well, my battle with CM player is progressing. He is currently hurling endless propaganda against me in a vain attempt to waste sim lives by charging across the 1500 meters of nearly treeless pool table which our map represents, while missing the obvious that I am indeed doing what any sensible commander would do when faced with orders to attack over that screwy terrain. His surprise will be complete when the trap I am setting unfolds, and he will scream that I am a gamey bastard like a stuck capiberra being strangled by a python.

[Pascal DI FOLCO]

Hi pal,

Back with us ? Good !

Being French myself I know that French people are kind of weird, but really you're very French !

[Slapdragon]

Posted by some new lurker who is none the less beloved by god and grokked as he is, a minor figure of man naked in the noon day sun. Or somefink like that.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Oh geez - who the hell let this idiot in? First, he seems to think he is a squire just because he says so. Second, he thinks he is gonna graduate to knighthood just because he says so. Finally, he seems to think that the fact no one likes him, finds him amusing, or wants in any way to be associated with him allows him to claim 'Ronin' status.

This guy has read one too many James Clavell novels. Flowerboy, I've been a lurker here for several months, and you strike me as the most boring, dimwitted buffoon to step foot in these parts since Panzer Leader got the insane idea that people actually LIKED being around him.

A warning to the Pengers: If the Peng Challenge Thread allows SlapPuff to be a knight, well, between him and that poltroon from Kansas City, the apathy and boorishness will kill what interest remains in the thread. Mark my words.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Don't mock me, my friend. It's a condition of "mental divergence". I find myself on another planet, Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though it's a totally convincing reality in every way...I can feel, breathe, hear...nevertheless, Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend?

---TJ WASHINGTON

Besides, any dork with a number over 6000 needs to get some time in before he can call a marching tune.

---unknown general topic philosopher expounding on the idiocy of ants lodging complaints about rhinos.

[ 10-09-2001: Message screwed up by: Slapdragon ]

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: Germanboy ]

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: Slapdragon ]

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

the 1500 meters of nearly treeless pool table which our map represents<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Marlarchy, sheer malarchy. It's a standard village map, all parameters straight out of the box. It's got lots of dips and rises in the terrain and tons of trees on both sides. You're just worried you're going to have to eat your hat.

[CMplayer]

nothing to see here, move along, move along...

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Frank Zappa's spoiled brat of a son wrote:

Warning Pengers! Ook! SlapPuff! Eek! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Like anyone cares what YOU think. You're right about Slappy, but still I'd take that disinformation spreading egomaniac over a Stupid Sniveling Newbie like yerself any day of the week.

[Dweezil44]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

Don't mock me, my friend.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Like small asteroids that venture too close to a black hole, one cannot help but be drawn into mocking you.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>It's a condition of "mental divergence".<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I understand that there is a wide array of new psychotropic medications to help with that.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I find myself on another planet, Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate barbarian hordes on Pluto.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Or perhaps you've had a few too many psychotropic drugs?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>But even though it's a totally convincing reality in every way...I can feel, breathe, hear...nevertheless, Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Freud could have written volumes about you. Tell me, is your mother involved in any of these deranged fantasies? No, no, I really didn't need to hear that she has squeezed all 275 pounds into a size eight miniskirt with fishnet stockings, garters, and combat boots - please, those kind of details are simply unnecessary.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I am mentally divergent<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think we have already established that. I guess that in addition to the medications, you are spending evenings, perhaps even weekends, at your local asylum? I do hope you are polite to the nice men in the white jackets -- they really do want what is best for you (even Bruno -- you know, the one that visits late at night).

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

In addition to the advances in psychotropic medicines, I understand that THOSE sorts of maladies can be cleared up with a simple penicillin shot -- or are you allergic?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>When I stop going there, I will be well.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Assuming, of course, your 'commitment,' as it were, is not extended.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Are you also divergent, friend? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Are you hitting on me? Sorry -- already spoken for, and my wife IS the jealous type.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Besides, any dork with a number over 6000 needs to get some time in before he can call a marching tune.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And any nimrod with a wit of common sense would realize that simply because one didn't register until this year didn't mean one hadn't been following this threade since, oh a month or so after Pengerdammerung, grog-boy. I've seen a lot of pillocks come and go -- you seem to combine all the worst qualities of Panzer Leader, Paton Returns, and Rommel22 with a dash of Fieldmarshall thrown in just for flavor.

So piss off, grog boy - your pathetic attempts at wit fail miserably. Arrogance is no substitute for style, you twit.

[edited to wonder why Germanboy appears to have edited SlapPuff's post?]

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: Dweezil44 ]

[Dweezil44]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Like anyone cares what YOU think. You're right about Slappy, but still I'd take that disinformation spreading egomaniac over a Stupid Sniveling Newbie like yerself any day of the week.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This coming from someone who thinks that the latest new tech advancement is the ability to post without hitting the {enter} key after every line. Tell me, are all Swedes as imbecilic as yourself, or are you a special case?

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dweezil44:

This coming from someone who thinks that the latest new tech advancement is the ability to post without hitting the {enter} key after every line. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Speaking of latest technical developments, if BTS would tog on the 'ignore' feature of the BBS we could find a use for it.

[Dweezil44]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Speaking of latest technical developments, if BTS would tog on the 'ignore' feature of the BBS we could find a use for it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, I am

sure that we

could after

having to read

so damn many

of your stupid

I-don't-trust

the-auto-carriage

return-posts over

the last month

or so.

Twit.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Like small asteroids that venture too close to a black hole, one cannot help but be drawn into mocking you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh I say ... that's rather good ... true also. I must admit that, while anyone with a name like Swizzle00 (whatever) is automatically suspect, his posts on this thread seem unusually good ... mind you I could be comparing it to the FIRST post on this thread {shudder}.

Joe

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> posted by Croda

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Dweezil44:

Classy. REAL classy. Maybe comments like this are why nobody likes you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Classy? Surely you jest. There isn't enough class in this thread (and the umpteen iterations that made this one possible) to fill a crock of class 1/3 of the way to the top. There never has been, and Berli-willing, there never will be.

You're probably asking yourself: "Who the hell is this Croda guy, and what business does he have telling me what's what?" Well, rest assured that I am asking myself: "What in the name of all that smells like sausage is a Dweezil, and who's the nimrod that decided we need 44 of them?"

Yes, indeed, I am the infamous and nefarious Croda. I dropped in to pay a visit and what do I find but some ninny-ninny-nincompoop speaking of class in my CessPool. Egads! And I thought NipponBoy was the only person to put on airs in the 'Pool. My old buddy Mensch was kind enough to drop me a line to say hullo, so I figured I'd pop in here and make sure Stuka wasn't contaminating good Cess with soap or some other ungodly cleansing device (eg. CLASS!).

Somebody get poor Dweezil a copy of Cabbages and Kings so that he can brush up on his Peng.

As for the rest of you, hullo.

As for Speedy: You are a super-poo-poo-head.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah yes, except I like this better as his first post. Croda's rejoinder is a classic.

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: Slapdragon ]

[Andreas]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dweezil44:

[edited to wonder why Germanboy appears to have edited SlapPuff's post?]

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: Dweezil44 ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, even a clearly decrepit and moronic life-form like you should eventually come up with the right answer. If not, then there is always 0900-IAMAMORON, to call for an answer to the question at hand, or to ask about how to breathe properly, something you no doubt find very challenging indeed. Apart from that, all I can say is that the gaseous emissions that go for posts in your little Dweezilwonderland are really so far beyond the pale that it makes me wonder if it is the care-in-the-community day again. If there was a planet with the likes of you as population, giving it the Vogon treatment would be too good for it. People like you make me wonder why anyone would want to save the environment. Maybe the Dinosaurs come back if we don't and the world will be better off for not having any Dweezils in it.

As to the rest of what is going on in here - you had a beautiful chance to redeem yourselves in my eyes. You blew it. Not that I expected anything else, but honestly I think it is now time that Berli unleashes his hell hounds on you, to have you swallowed and tormented with pointed sticks by razor-tooth equipped three-breasted demons from the 7th layer of hell. The torment usually reserved for the slow-witted and hapless taunters, you know. Might be too good for you though. What this place needs is a fecking revolution, with a number of people put in front of a firing squad. I shall submit my list shortly.

Not edited because it makes you weep and humble in the presence of my greatness.

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[dalem]

I hate losing to OGSF. Almost as much as I hate OGSF himself.

OGSF, I hate you.

I also hate chrisl even though I don't lose to him as much. I hate him because of his namby-pamby running around in the dark scaring the chickens (and my Germans) sort of tactics.

I hate Berli because if it wasn't for the fact that I have to scurry around killing his little Germans, I could really be enjoying this wonderful map we're playing on.

I hate Terence because he still keeps trying to win against my forces of Righteousness and Goodness. Luckily, as I've said before, this scenario has both Tigers and Panthers to kill me with, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

And then there's Lawyer. Do I hate him? More appropriately, do I hate him enough? All those beautiful PzIVs burning in the fields around me. How sad.

[Slapdragon]

A telephone call? That's communication with the outside world! Doctor's discretion. Hey, if alla these nuts could just make phone calls, it could spread. Insanity oozing through telephone cables, oozing into the ears of all those poor sane people, infecting them! Whackos everywhere! A plague of madness.

In fact, very few of us here are actually mentally ill. I'm not saying you're not mentally ill, for all I know you're crazy as a loon. But that's not why you're here. Why you're here is because of the system, because of the economy.

There's the TV. It's all right there. Commercials. We are not productive anymore, they don't need us to make things anymore, it's all automated. What are we for then? We're consumers. Okay, buy a lot of stuff, you're a good citizen. But if you don't buy a lot of stuff, you know what? You're mentally ill! That's a fact! If you don't buy things...toilet paper, new cars, computerized blenders, electrically operated sexual devices...

SCREWDRIVERS WITH MINIATURE BUILT-IN RADAR DEVICES, STEREO SYSTEMS WITH BRAIN IMPLANTED HEADPHONES, VOICE- ACTIVATED COMPUTERS, AND...

-- JEFFREY

[ 07-16-1999: Message edited by: Fionn ]

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: dalem ]

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[ 10-09-2001: Message edited by: Slapdragon ]

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Peng has professed a desire to kick Lars in a sensitive place by way of greeting, and I can't imagine anyone who would come into the Twin Cities who wouldn't want to find Shandorf's goddamn address, break in, mace him in his own bed, and then float him out onto one of the many convenient lakes of the region handcuffed to a slowly leaking inner tube.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I really would expect no less from Peng, but I have no sensitive places. I would like to return the favor as Peng seems to have placed a curse on me. Now that I have the boiler up and running, the plumbing has gone on the fritz. Fortunately, and unlike Peng, I think I know how to use a monkey wrench.

And as for Shandorf, the ”SS Boating While Intoxicated” is still in the lake, we don’t really need an slowly leaking innertube. Just bring rope, chain, and anchor weights. Then we can get back to the bar more quickly.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Oh, and Hanns. Challenge someone to a goddamn game, you pillock! We've nothing against perverts as such, but we've a great deal against perverts who don't play the game! Challenge Lars. He's a good fellow, and as daft as any other loon of Scando descent.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why, thank you very much Seanachai, sic the SSN’s on the newest Knigget. Couldn’t you have pointed him Slappy’s way? He seems to think he’s a DemiGod/Knigget/Squire/Serf/Pissboy/SSN/idjit or somesuch anyway. Be sure to bring an anchor for yourself (and Slappy). And more chains for Hanns, he seems to be into them.

Game Updates:

Agua Perdido - Thinks his PsyOps plan of not sending turns is going to work. Joke’s on him, as it usually is, as I spent the weekend drinking.

CMplayer – Making good time, I hates him lots. You have my permission to execute that non-running MG team, Carriage-Return Boy.

BuzzBuzzBuzz – Not making good time. It appears he thinks that if he drives his tanks back and forth across his side of the map, I’ll die of carbon monoxide poisioning and bordom. Time is running out, Buzz, pick a road and go for it.

Now, turns will go out late this evening, after I reread the monkey wrench manual.

And for the rest of you,

Feh.

[Madmatt]

Yeah okay, might as well make it this one!

HERE BE CESS...

Madmatt