End of the world due in nine days

[Stalins Organ]

Hang on a sec...why would a black hole absorbing matter "explode"?

If it doesn't have Hawking Radiation then it would jsut keep absorbing matter wouldn't it? What is the mechanism that causes black holes to "explode"?

Of course even the existance of micro-black holes is itself conjecture.

and given that the source of the article is the Sun (despite the guy worried about it being real and fairly well qualified to comment in a genericly academic sort of way) it sesm a bit pointless to worry about somethinh that may not happen to something that may not exist in case an unproven theory is wrong.

plus I can't find anything about 12 mt explosions connected with black holes micro or otherwise.

[Redwolf]

Hang on a sec...why would a black hole absorbing matter "explode"?

If it doesn't have Hawking Radiation then it would jsut keep absorbing matter wouldn't it? What is the mechanism that causes black holes to "explode"?

Of course even the existance of micro-black holes is itself conjecture.

and given that the source of the article is the Sun (despite the guy worried about it being real and fairly well qualified to comment in a genericly academic sort of way) it sesm a bit pointless to worry about somethinh that may not happen to something that may not exist in case an unproven theory is wrong.

plus I can't find anything about 12 mt explosions connected with black holes micro or otherwise.

Megatons, not millitons

http://arxiv.org/pdf/0808.1415v1.pdf

[Stalins Organ]

What's 9 degrees of magnitude between skeptics?!

I see your doomsday and raise you "nuclear collisions with larger energies take place regularly as cosmic rays rain down on our atmosphere -- so if a disaster were possible, it would have already occurred".

[Pak_43]

Personally I'll be looking out for the f**k off mutant monsters after the experiment...

You doubt me? Check it out...

http://www.crfh.net/other/half.jpg

[JonS]

Speaking of which ...

[SSgt Viljuri]

For theoretically inclined, this paper is approachable about what this all means: On the Eve of the LHC: Conceptual questions in high-energy physics by Alexei Grinbaum

'Meaning', aka philosophy, is generally not very well received in physics community (Feynman, Weinberg et al), but this paper is more like a draft guide what to expect in the near future and how validiation/rejection of different theories, hypotheses, proposals might go ahead, thanks to the LHC and CERN.

[hoolaman]

There's a big article about it in New Scientist magazine, and apparently there is a very good possibility that nothing new at all will be observed.

If that were the case I would laugh pretty hard.

[John Kettler]

SSgt Viljuri,

That was fun and educational, even though rap's not my thing!

Regards,

John Kettler

[John Kettler]

Affentitten,

Since you asked, it's my view that we've been very fortunate, given the cavalier attitude of scientists who play with ill understood things despite very real risks to all of us. See, for example, the comments made before the first standard history atomic test and the first H-bomb test relative to combusting the atmosphere. See also such things as deliberately covertly releasing nuclear radiation from Hanford into the environment to "see where it would go," Russian advanced biowarfare agents that have escaped into the local rodent population via a drain pipe, etc.

(shudders)

JonS,

Brilliant cartoon!

Regards,

John Kettler

[REVS]

Actually, I've got a theory about Super Novae. Every couple of hundred years, another advanced civilisation on another plant in another solar system gets up to the point where its scientists build a really large and dangerous particle physics experiment.

It seems that this has been a sticking point with intelligent life ever since 4004BC. They always discover particle physics, always do their experiments fairly well, but unsatisfactorily, and so they inevitably build one of these enormous planet-destroying f****rs. Not one civilisation has so far said to themselves" "no, it's too risky, let's not do it". It's not just the planet that blows up, but it sucks in the nearby star and whammo! Super Nova!

God is really pissed off about this bug in his intelligent life software. He's tried all sorts of patches but it keeps on coming back each time, via a different route.

Anyway, that's my theory.

[Redwolf]

Affentitten,

Since you asked, it's my view that we've been very fortunate, given the cavalier attitude of scientists who play with ill understood things despite very real risks to all of us. See, for example, the comments made before the first standard history atomic test and the first H-bomb test relative to combusting the atmosphere. See also such things as deliberately covertly releasing nuclear radiation from Hanford into the environment to "see where it would go," Russian advanced biowarfare agents that have escaped into the local rodent population via a drain pipe, etc.

Who has to go to Russia?

The guy who recently committed suicide after having probably been found the one who mailed Antrax around after 9/11.

Have you read the report? They found Antrax all over the office space of that facility. Not surprising after handling it for decades, but still, I remember a time when people were horrified of the thought of birds flying from an "Antrax island" to a populated area.

(shudders)

JonS,

Brilliant cartoon!

Regards,

John Kettler

That one be on my office wall for the month

[Stalins Organ]

Not one civilisation has so far said to themselves" "no, it's too risky, let's not do it".

Of course they have - those are all the suns that do NOT go super-nova.

sheesh.....

[Stalins Organ]

So what's actually likely to happen tomorrow?

the fire it up....accelerate a couple of protons to near light speed....smash them together....and then spend a few months doing the math to see what happened before announcing something that no-one outside Nobel laureates understands?

[CoFarmer]

So what's actually likely to happen tomorrow?

They're going to do various tests for about a month before they actually try to collide stuff.

[Speedy]

Are we there yet?

[Dirtweasle]

Apparently "Little Kim" had a stroke overnight. Nothing like a crazy commie with damaged brain and ready access to nuclear weapons to move the old doomsday clock.

[SSgt Viljuri]

One, two... One, two.

Just checking that we have not caused any unnoticed, minor damage: Is the Other side still with us?Talking about Ozzies, sheep and Kangaroos?

[Dogface]

Just check here:

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

[Yeknodathon]

Do sing along...

The Large Hadron Rap

Twenty-seven kilometers of tunnel under ground

Designed with mind to send protons around

A circle that crosses through Switzerland and France

Sixty nations contribute to scientific advance

Two beams of protons swing round, through the ring they ride

‘Til in the hearts of the detectors, they’re made to collide

And all that energy packed in such a tiny bit of room

Becomes mass, particles created from the vacuum

And then…

LHCb sees where the antimatter’s gone

ALICE looks at collisions of lead ions

CMS and ATLAS are two of a kind

They’re looking for whatever new particles they can find.

The LHC accelerates the protons and the lead

And the things that it discovers will rock you in the head.

We see asteroids and planets, stars galore

We know a black hole resides at each galaxy’s core

But even all that matter cannot explain

What holds all these stars together – something else remains

This dark matter interacts only through gravity

And how do you catch a particle there’s no way to see

Take it back to the conservation of energy

And the particles appear, clear as can be

You see particles flying, in jets they spray

But you notice there ain’t nothin’, goin’ the other way

You say, “My law has just been violated – it don’t make sense!

There’s gotta be another particle to make this balance.”

And it might be dark matter, and for first

Time we catch a glimpse of what must fill most of the known ‘Verse.

Because…

LHCb sees where the antimatter’s gone

ALICE looks at collisions of lead ions

CMS and ATLAS are two of a kind

They’re looking for whatever new particles they can find.

Antimatter is sort of like matter’s evil twin

Because except for charge and handedness of spin

They’re the same for a particle and its anti-self

But you can’t store an antiparticle on any shelf

Cuz when it meets its normal twin, they both annihilate

Matter turns to energy and then it dissipates

When matter is created from energy

Which is exactly what they’ll do in the LHC

You get matter and antimatter in equal parts

And they try to take that back to when the universe starts

The Big Bang – back when the matter all exploded

But the amount of antimatter was somehow eroded

Because when we look around we see that matter abounds

But antimatter’s nowhere to be found.

That’s why…

LHCb sees where the antimatter’s gone

ALICE looks at collisions of lead ions

CMS and ATLAS are two of a kind

They’re looking for whatever new particles they can find.

The LHC accelerates the protons and the lead

And the things that it discovers will rock you in the head.

The Higgs Boson – that’s the one that everybody talks about.

And it’s the one sure thing that this machine will sort out

If the Higgs exists, they ought to see it right away

And if it doesn’t, then the scientists will finally say

“There is no Higgs! We need new physics to account for why

Things have mass. Something in our Standard Model went awry.”

But the Higgs – I still haven’t said just what it does

They suppose that particles have mass because

There is this Higgs field that extends through all space

And some particles slow down while other particles race

Straight through like the photon – it has no mass

But something heavy like the top quark, it’s draggin’ its ***

And the Higgs is a boson that carries a force

And makes particles take orders from the field that is its source.

They’ll detect it….

LHCb sees where the antimatter’s gone

ALICE looks at collisions of lead ions

CMS and ATLAS are two of a kind

They’re looking for whatever new particles they can find.

Now some of you may think that gravity is strong

Cuz when you fall off your bicycle it don’t take long

Until you hit the earth, and you say, “Dang, that hurt!”

But if you think that force is powerful, you’re wrong.

You see, gravity – it’s weaker than Weak

And the reason why is something many scientists seek

They think about dimensions – we just live in three

But maybe there are some others that are too small to see

It’s into these dimensions that gravity extends

Which makes it seem weaker, here on our end.

And these dimensions are “rolled up” – curled so tight

That they don’t affect you in your day to day life

But if you were as tiny as a graviton

You could enter these dimensions and go wandering on

And they'd find you...

When LHCb sees where the antimatter’s gone

ALICE looks at collisions of lead ions

CMS and ATLAS are two of a kind

They’re looking for whatever new particles they can find.

The LHC accelerates the protons and the lead

And the things that it discovers will rock you in the head.

[Stalins Organ]

b*gg*r...apparently the Yanks still exist!!

[Boris London]

apparently the LHC caused a time portal to open and transport lance armstrong back into professional cycling along with Floyd Landis

[Other Means]

Just check here:

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

Check the HTML source - quite funny.

Apparently, the tunnel through the LHC is about 3cm around. So all that huge tunnel is magnets.

Cooool.

[Dogface]

Yeah Other Means, that made me chuckle also.

<!-- if the lhc actually destroys the earth & this page isn't yet updated

please email mike@frantic.org to receive a full refund -->

What gets refunded? The cost of the lhc?

[Other Means]

I like

if (!(typeof worldHasEnded == "undefined")) {

document.write("YUP.");

} else {

document.write("NOPE.");

}

[Michael Emrys]

Are we there yet?

Yes. The world ended, the universe blew up and everything. Did you sleep through it?

Michael