A Pengly Pastafarian Challenges The Notion of Spaghetti Monster Side Salads

[Boo Radley]

And if you ride side salad, you may indeed be a Lady. Or you may be another thing entirely (not that there's anything wrong with that!)

But, as the Great Spaghetti Monster once spaketh, "Thou shall be as an SSN and shall challenge one and one only, with fire and gall, or thou shalt be ignored, not unlike the small doves may ignore the great Turtle, although they smack right into him!"

And lo, it was true.

And just as the Great Spaghetti Monster instructs us, "Verily, verily, thou shalt have a location and an E-mail address so that we may mock you and send you PBEMs, for to live without either, is like a salt filled pancake laid upon the body politic of a great nation. Bitter to taste. Bitter to wear. Bitter to hold."

Yea, even as the Great Spaghetti Monster entreats us, "Be not rude to the Ladies of the Pool , for to do so not only incurs my wrath, but also the wrath of the Ladies and they will become lillian wroth in their extremities and will smite you mightily in your soft and dangly bits. And it will be good."

Let us prey.

[aka_tom_w]

What?

[Patchy]

I like angel hair pasta.

[Stuka]

I like beer

[dalem]

I make a great spaghetti sauce and meatballs.

All who have tasted of my balls and sauce have praised me on high.

[Seanachai]

The Rules aren't bad, but the Thread title sucketh mightily, so that ever wider regions of intelligence were drawn into a void of Boo's making.

I have completely kacked any chance of producing 50,000 words by November 30th by foremostly, being sick most of this month so far, and just a bit behind, actually being gainfully employed.

This fills me with despair.

On the positive side, I can pay my bills (including medical bills), and I enjoyed the last few pages of the previous Thread, which primarily involved a discussion of genetics, pasta and religion. It helped me to focus on my ultimate purpose in life, which is to use satire to probe the depths of Peng's intelligence and commitment to raising a family in a land under Christian interdict.

I rejoice in the continued existence of NG Cavscout, not because he himself survives, although that is a glad thing, but because of what he represents: 12,000 years of human development that's still within the 'pull my finger' zone of its earliest stages.

I am filled with joy by the knowledge that even the worst errors of Evolution, such as Stuka and Leeo, are always with us, like Herpes.

I am filled with a quiet serenity because Small Emma Sine Chatterbox wonders where Grandma Steve has gone, and asks after him when she hasn't seen him for many days because he's been as sick as a pre-resurrection Lazarus.

It was 7 degrees Fahrenheit this morning when I left for work. But I found a pair of gloves in my coat pocket when I was cleaning the windshield of Jack Frost's frozen piss. It made me smile

I am torn between spending the rest of my declining years mesmerizing women by the sheer impact of my intellectual, sensual and spiritual presence, or becoming a Bodhisattva. This decision would be easier if the Dalai Lama would quit calling me 'you vicious Western whore' in his replies to my emails. The Spiritual realm would be more appealing if it wasn't filled with examples of envy such as this.

You'll all excuse me now, I'm sure, as it's time for my medication.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by aka_tom_w:

What?

If you want to post here again, change your bloody sig line.

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

Snip long rambling incoherent blithering.

Boo, Boo, Boo. How many times must you be told? It really is quite alright for you to drop acid every day as soon as you wake up. After all, we all have to do what we must to cope with an insane, overcrowded world. I prefer pushing old ladies in front of speeding trains myself, but never mind.

Boo, the thing is, you see, that while it's fine and dandy for you to get so stoned that you have to crawl to the bathroom and get lost along the way, hoping that your wife won't notice that you have peed in the philodendrons yet again, you really should wait until you have come down just a little bit before you advance on your keyboard with malicious intent. Perhaps you should spend more time with your Play-Doh figurines, they are really so cute. (How did you ever come up with the idea of making an exact scale model of your large intestine, by the way?) However, trying to write on the wall with them was not such a hot idea.

Well, a word to the wise...although what that might have to do with you isn't quite clear.

Michael

[KiloIndiaAlpha]

I was going to post something along the lines of

'Do we really have to have this Peng crap over and over again?'

But I just could not be bothered.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

It helped me to focus on my ultimate purpose in life, which is to use satire to probe the depths of Peng's intelligence and commitment to raising a family in a land under Christian interdict.

Umm, don't you think it should be under some sort of interdict? I mean, it doesn't have to be a Christian God. Any old God would do. But the thing to keep in mind is that Pennsylvania bears close watching.

Perhaps Baal Hamon would be a better choice. I really think he'd get the job done. And in style too.

[WineCape]

For a change, an excellent named thread.

[Joe Shaw]

ooOOOOGAhhhh! ooOOOOGAhhhh! ooOOOOGAhhhh!

THE JUSTICAR FOR LIFE OF THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD HAS RETURNED!

Now there shall be great gnashing of teeth and rending of clothes for he is NOT pleased and his vengence will be terrible and swift!

On the other hand he just took a Lortab for his tooth pain so he may forget all about it.

But he's back and that's the important thing.

Seanachai EMPLOYED? There's two words we never thought to see again, along with Lars SOBER and dalem LIBERAL. See what happens when I leave for an extended period ... you never really know what can happen.

Joe

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[BFCElvis]

We workshop his noodley appendage.

Dear Tom,

http://www.venganza.org/

Love,

Elvis

[ng cavscout]

Lars, don't you think that Arawn or Morrigan would be a better choice? Ahhh, yes, give me that old time religion!

Seanachai, I am touched, not in the head like you, but sentimentally I mean. I am getting all misty. Who was silly enough to give you a job?

Dang, Joe Shaw found his way back, who let him in this time?

[Lars]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:

Lars, don't you think that Arawn or Morrigan would be a better choice? Ahhh, yes, give me that old time religion!

Pfft, Basketweavers the both of them. Would only appeal to someone of Seanachai's ilk, but then what do you expect from a guy who likes Folk Music and Morris Dancing?

Nope, you want Old Time Religion, Baal Hamon is it. Ya gotta have a bronze bull with the fire under his belly to stuff the unbelievers in. Otherwise, it's just going through the motions.

Now drop and give me a moo.

[Nidan1]

Please don't bother me, I must go feed Vaal...Vaal is hungry...please let me go!!!

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

The Rules aren't bad, but the Thread title sucketh mightily, so that ever wider regions of intelligence were drawn into a void of Boo's making.

Bah! What do you know, non turn sending goat-boy? And are you using this "writing" thingy as your excuse for not sending turns?

"Ooooh... I haven't copied down my 5,000 names from the phone book! Whatever shall I do???"

You nonce.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

The Rules aren't bad, but the Thread title sucketh mightily, so that ever wider regions of intelligence were drawn into a void of Boo's making.

Bah! What do you know, non turn sending goat-boy? And are you using this "writing" thingy as your excuse for not sending turns?

"Ooooh... I haven't copied down my 5,000 names from the phone book! Whatever shall I do???"

You nonce. </font>

[37mm]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

and I enjoyed the last few pages of the previous Thread, which primarily involved a discussion of genetics, pasta and religion.

You see I hate ‘debating’ religion versus science on t’internet, it’s a right ball ache if you ask me.

You know I once helped ‘turn’ some deranged Catholic Yank (I’ll never forget his totally serious claim regarding the entire land formations of the current earth spewing forth as lava after ‘the flood’… I fink he said something like “ I admit it’s a bit ridiculous claiming that process would take 40 days but a somewhat longer period of time say a year seems perfectly likely”) and although it was kinda interesting & all looking back one thing keeps coming back to me…

The time!

I must’ve lost hours, weeks, days… heck months knocking some sense into this bleedin Yank

And why?

Dear Peng I could’ve been doing something more worthwhile with me time… surely there must’ve been beer waiting to be drunk or even a challenge thread requiring saving somewhere?

And what in the end have I gotton out of it… naught by my reckoning

& he?

He’s probably collapsed into a devil worshipping secularist or sumfink & is busy having drugged up sex with underage animals whilst drinking the blood of good Yankee Christian children.

And I’m sure he could be been spending his time doing more worthy stuff… like singing or stuff

And one thing which people who read scientific novels or post the same old links to the same old sites might not understand.

Genetics is dull… and I mean really, really, really stupendously dull

If you’ve ever read genetics papers or done any genetic work you’d surely agree and I know for sure I’d rather drown myself in agarose gel than do that **** again...

Which brings me back onto what I’m concerned with… Time

Now I’ve never been one to celebrate birthdays & all (yippee your death is one year closer) but I think my possible haemorrhoid has gotten me thinking on a depressing line of thought.

I don’t have enough time!

Just listing the top ten things I need to do…

1. Save the Peng thread

2. Spread my genetic material to the next generation

3. Make sure recipient of that genetic material becomes a top geezer/gal

4. Become ruler of at least one country

5. Write a novel about a roight bastard

6. Chill out on Mars

7. Climb a really, really big mountain of some sort

8. Earn more cash than I need

9. Make a move about hospital porters

10. destroy New Zealand

… and quickly estimating time needed brings me up to something like 130 odd years

Now I’d better be either really efficient (perhaps I could destroy New Zealand with my Genetic material?) or stop wasting what little time I have…

...

... Now where's that Japanese beer gotten to ... I prefer to be suitably 'tanked up' as I try to shoot bombers down with my Il-2

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

The Rules aren't bad, but the Thread title sucketh mightily, so that ever wider regions of intelligence were drawn into a void of Boo's making.

Bah! What do you know, non turn sending goat-boy? And are you using this "writing" thingy as your excuse for not sending turns?

"Ooooh... I haven't copied down my 5,000 names from the phone book! Whatever shall I do???"

You nonce. </font>

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

The Rules aren't bad, but the Thread title sucketh mightily, so that ever wider regions of intelligence were drawn into a void of Boo's making.

Bah! What do you know, non turn sending goat-boy? And are you using this "writing" thingy as your excuse for not sending turns?

"Ooooh... I haven't copied down my 5,000 names from the phone book! Whatever shall I do???"

You nonce. </font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Sir 37mm:

Genetics is dull… and I mean really, really, really stupendously dull

Only to be surpassed by dictionary definition arguments.

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:

Dang, Joe Shaw found his way back, who let him in this time?

I told you to connect the trip wire to the Claymore outside his front door, but I bet you forgot while you were gorging on steak and lobster, didn't you?

Michael

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

On the other hand he just took a Lortab for his tooth pain so he may forget all about it.

I think you should forego all pain relievers and embrace the pain as a way to show us all how a REAL MAN can take it.

Michael