CM GRIPE THREAD!! **JOKE**

[karch]

All right, I've just had it with the lack of realism in Combat mission, am I the first person to notice the incredible lack of naval vessles and naval combat, I mean come on, does BTS think that the battle for the atlantic wasn't a huge influence on the western front battles, if you can't get your tanks across the atlantic you shouldn't be able to use them on the battlefield, and don't let me get started on strategic air power and individual plane combat being modeled, really, BTS must think that air power had no impact in world war II the way they model it.

Just for that, I'm not playing CM again until at least later this evening. Harumph!

See... this is me getting pissed off and showing my teeth. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[ May 27, 2002, 08:47 PM: Message edited by: karch ]

[rleete]

Hmmm, I sense a disturbance in the force. Must be the impending lock.

[Panzer Leader]

Hey, while we're on the subject of the Battle for the Atlantic (heh heh) I have to add: I am just finishing up "Steel Coffins" a memoir of a U-Boat Commander, and I have to say, I am totally shocked by the difficulty and futility of those final years of U-Boat combat. The book is a stunning look at yey one more way in which the 3rd Reich squandered there victories and fell into utter destruction. U-Boat mortality rate: over 90%. Expected life-span of U-Boat personell: <24 outside of port.

Anybody else read this? THis is my first foray into non-land aspect of WW2.

[karch]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Hey, while we're on the subject of the Battle for the Atlantic (heh heh) I have to add: I am just finishing up "Steel Coffins" a memoir of a U-Boat Commander,... .

I read it a few years ago and it is one of my top 10 books I've ever read. Heartily agree.

[Nac4]

I agree, but please, small steps. How about an operational level game first.

[Flipper]

my favorite tactic gamey wise online against all those pros is to take my last couple of points (that cant buy any inf anyways) and buy a boat an park it on a hill I get a lot of queer responses

[Panzer_Meyer]

Yes, I want CM series to model all. From single soldier up to controlling the industry of the coutry I am playing for. I want to decide what to produce, and how much of it, c'mon. Don't tell me it's outside of the scope of CM. Cuase we all know it will only take about 5 minutes to code. C'mon I am the all knowing, I know more about games and game production then Steve or Charles.

If BTs does not include the control of the indusry of each country taking part in WWII, then I quit. I want each civilian to me modeled. Depending on their age and faigue and health status. I want exact figures on the ammount of steel came in to every country down right to kilograms.

I mean why stop there. Also model the earth gravational field and it's rotation around the sun. This has to be present other vise the game is flase adverytising for realism.

The majority of the CM crowd would also like to see the possibily of aliens intrvening in WWII. Each minute there will be a caclulation done to determine if aliens will come or not, in what force and what weapons. I wnat variety too, I don't want to see the same alines over and over. And also model the supply lines for the alience, because they have to travel long distance.

If this is not met in 5 days, I quit CM and never buy anything from BTS!!!

[Mr. Johnson--]

good call rommel

[Monkeybutt]

Where is the cheese at in the game?It is a well known fact that a soldier who eats cheese shoots better and can shrug off a hit from a 75mm gun! But is it in the game? Noooooooooo!

I demand a refund and an apology!

-Monkeybutt

[ May 28, 2002, 03:52 PM: Message edited by: Monkeybutt ]

[MSBoxer]

Forget about all of that trivial crap.... What about the effect of FATMOUSE on the war effort!!! Do you honestly mean to tell me that this is beyond the scope of CM.....I think not.

[Panzer_Meyer]

Hamsters too, they took part just as mice did chewing trough wiring of AFVs. I want that modeled too. Have a variable witch decides if this is the night a mouse or a hamster or both will crawl in your King Tiger Battalion and chew through all the wiring.

Also I demend the birth and death rate of these rodnets to be modeled corretly from 1933 to 1950.

Till then I refuse to play. C'mon BTS add this to your I am sure very small and easy feature list that we all know can be done in a day or two. I know, even though I've never design a game or even seen what a game code looks like. I still know what I am talking about and it should be my way, cause i daid so.

[hitlers underpants]

quoted by monkeybutt

Where is the cheese at in the game?It is a well known fact that a soldier who eats cheese shoots better and can shrug off a hit from a 75mm gun! But is it in the game? Noooooooooo!

I demand a refund and an apology!

-Monkeybutt

funnily enough monkeybutt,i remember reading a story about an american gi who stood 15 feet from a stug holding a zook and he fired it as the same time as the stug fired its main gun at him!!!,to my amazement the infantryman was blown off his feet by a near miss while his zook brewed up the stug.As far as i remember it was in the ardennes forest in 44 when this amazing story occured!!!

[Monkeybutt]

Originally posted by hitlers underpants:

quoted by monkeybutt

Where is the cheese at in the game?It is a well known fact that a soldier who eats cheese shoots better and can shrug off a hit from a 75mm gun! But is it in the game? Noooooooooo!

I demand a refund and an apology!

-Monkeybutt

funnily enough monkeybutt,i remember reading a story about an american gi who stood 15 feet from a stug holding a zook and he fired it as the same time as the stug fired its main gun at him!!!,to my amazement the infantryman was blown off his feet by a near miss while his zook brewed up the stug.As far as i remember it was in the ardennes forest in 44 when this amazing story occured!!!

Behold the power of cheese!

Seriously,sounds like somebody used up all their luck for his lifetime.Maybe he had a couple dozen rabbit's feet in his pack.

[Slapdragon]

My major complaint is the complete lack of modelling for flatulence in the game. Flatulence effects all soldiers because of the poor food they consume, effecting accuracy, causing fellow soldiers to become casualties, and giving away positions to the enemy. I have never heard an audio track with a fart in it at all. Lots of damn bird, but no good crack butt horns.

I suspect BTS, especially Steve, are just out to screw us all by ignoring how human produced gas effects the battlefield. Every unit should have a "flatula" level that acts like a morale level, and effects all aspects of the unit's performance. Plus there should be a chance for a "critical injury" from flatulence in enclosed places. Imagine this -- the commander of a tank is standing in the turret and lights one off right into the face of the loader and gunner. This could conceivably wound or kill both men, and possibly cause the fuel or ammo to go off. The unit can break from stench, and would then need to rally. Of course, there is no way the author of the stench will effect a rally, so it will have to be a non-farting member of a higher echelon.

[karch]

Originally posted by hitlers underpants:

...i remember reading a story about an american gi who stood 15 feet from a stug holding a zook and he fired it as the same time as the stug fired its main gun at him!!!,to my amazement the infantryman was blown off his feet by a near miss......[/QB]

A miss from 15 feet!!??? Where is the realism there? We ALL know that any tank can pick off any target from at least 1000m. I mean, REALLY. That's just about as unrealistic as CM models hits. We all know that German uberoptics and superduperguns can't possibly miss <1000m as proven on proving grounds records.

[Nukem]

Mark my words BTS, if there is no modelling of every aspect of existence from the big bang to the dinosaurs to the Roman empire to the industrial revolution all the way up to me sitting in front of my computer flaming Nac4 and laughing my arse off in CM2 then I will sue for false advertising or something.

You better have some badass legal representation....

[THumpre]

I want Capybaras.

[Teamski1]

First of all: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Could you imagine if Squad Leader got slammed for it's lack of opperational control...........

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Hey, while we're on the subject of the Battle for the Atlantic (heh heh) I have to add: I am just finishing up "Steel Coffins" a memoir of a U-Boat Commander, and I have to say, I am totally shocked by the difficulty and futility of those final years of U-Boat combat. The book is a stunning look at yey one more way in which the 3rd Reich squandered there victories and fell into utter destruction. U-Boat mortality rate: over 90%. Expected life-span of U-Boat personell: <24 outside of port.

Anybody else read this? THis is my first foray into non-land aspect of WW2.

I have an old copy of the book with photos in it. The book is absolutely incredible. THE best sub autobiography book out! If you can, find a copy of Wahoo and Clear the Bridge. Both were written by Richard O'Kane. Must reads!!! He skippered the Tang and earned the Medal of Honor.

-Ski

[Auggy]

THumpre:

I want Capybaras.

So you wanna take this into south america. Those poor animals. Pretty soon you might get animal rights bozos on your tail for that coment. Would they be scouts or another form of K-9 killing machine? Then we must have pink flamingos to be used for recon!! BTS do SOMEFINK!!

[Xavier]

Where's the joke :confused:

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by THumpre:

I want Capybaras.

... and we all thought Mace was bad with his sheep...

[flamingknives]

Where's the joke

That the Capybara is a rodent? K-9 killing machine. Honestly.

I was waiting for Nac4 to post something like

"This is the Battlefront forum. I pissed it off on purpose so that it would snarl and flame me (notice the all over carbonisation). It's like the forum that USE.NET had, but good."

[Hans]

Hey wait a minute..........I did feel cheated two years ago when I played my first game of CM

Shot at a church, nuthin happened

Fired again, nuthin happened

Where the heck was the defending thunderbolt?

Just like these anti-religious game designers to leave God out of the play.

And another thing, if I cannot get a thunderbolt how about a few nuns and priests piously running for their lives then?

Not only that but the game show a clear indication that Satan is in control of the AI. I once had a M-8 take out 11 of my armour vehicles-if that isn't a plot of Satan I don't know what is!

Disheartened

[AndrewTF]

There is a distinct lack of religion in CMBO.

You should be able to buy Chaplains who could run around the battlefield and boost the morale and fighting spirit of your units.

Of course to make things much more realistic BTS would then have to model ethnicity and religion among the squads, so if you bought, for example, a US Airborne Southern Baptist Chaplain, and most of your troops were Jewish and Catholic then he wouldn't be too effective JUST LIKE IN REAL LIFE. In fact, buying the wrong kind of chaplain could be detrimental to your troops!

Also, I am distressed at the fact that Divine Intervention is not modeled. Most armies believe God is on their side (i.e. Gott mit uns), so you should be able to buy a Divine Intervention, kind of like fighter-bombers, but a lot more expensive. Then, at some random time during the game, all your opponent's forces will either just drop dead or develop painful hemhorroids (sp?) or something.

Now I'm not so sure how this would work in terms of CMBB where one side is nuthin but Godless Unbelievers.

BTS fix it or do somefink!

[ May 29, 2002, 03:24 PM: Message edited by: AndrewTF ]

[Shadow 1st Hussars]

And what is with the arty? Anyone with any sense knows that arty had no real impact on any major WW2 battles, like the battle of bob's cabbage patch. It is totally unrealistic, and where are the US SMG Companies?