Did Peng Have A Challenging Christmas In 68?

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

... gonna take a LOT of booze for that to happen.

Joe

You're doubting Lar's cache of alcohol? Disappointing, Joe. For a moment there (well ok for one post, anyways) you showed some sign of intelligence.

Papa

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

I always had you figured for a closet Republican.

Mongered any wars lately?

Oh please, BooBoo, everybody knows closet warmongering is for those blokes with painted miniature soldiers and tiny little tanks lining their closet walls.

... Er, um, wait a minute...

Papa

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

I always had you figured for a closet Republican.

Mongered any wars lately?

What are you gibbering about? I stand up, as all right minded folk should, for the concept of carnivals of hedonistic excess (sounds as much like the Vatican as the Republican Party, actually), and for some reason you are so fixated that only that one, rather sad and sorry carnival of hedonistic excess occurs to you.

I'm not simply standing up for current carnivals of hedonistic excess, Boo. I'm standing up for all future carnivals of hedonistic excess, as well.

[rleete]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

rleete you're a festering pimple on the backside of a diseased yak.

Well, then, you can do what you always do with pimples, and BITE ME.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley:

I always had you figured for a closet Republican.

Mongered any wars lately?

What are you gibbering about? I stand up, as all right minded folk should, for the concept of carnivals of hedonistic excess (sounds as much like the Vatican as the Republican Party, actually), and for some reason you are so fixated that only that one, rather sad and sorry carnival of hedonistic excess occurs to you.

I'm not simply standing up for current carnivals of hedonistic excess, Boo. I'm standing up for all future carnivals of hedonistic excess, as well. </font>

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

It's too late now.

Hmmm... just checked the immigration records, and you weren't listed. Guess it ain't to late... yet

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I AM, as is acknowledged by one and all ... or at least a goodly portion of all, well some of all ... okay one FOR SURE ... the SOUL of the CessPool ... such as it is. If I'm not deserving of an HONEST AND TRUE BLESSING ...who is?

And I gave you an HONEST AND TRUE BLESSING, which you decided to ignore. Was the something about "Bless you my son. Go forth and sin some more." that you found dishonest or untrue? You can't be a martyr if you crucify yourself

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by rleete:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

rleete you're a festering pimple on the backside of a diseased yak.

Well, then, you can do what you always do with pimples, and BITE ME. </font>

[Michael Dorosh]

Seanachai, you gibbering bastard! How did you do it? How the hell did you get fate to bestow upon me the same treatment at her hands that you've received?

Why did I fail so utterly to be able to cultivate a decent Mortal Enemy? We know how much you sucked at it with Cabron66. We know how the fates smiled on Bloody Emrys. These facts are not in dispute.

Why must I be lumped in with the likes of you however?

I don't even refer to one <font size=0>gaylordfocker</font>, whom wasn't even a good sized nemesis much less Arch Villain, or even Mortal Enemy.

I've tried. I've shot my mouth off on the internet. Lord knows, if prolificy was enough to engender long-lasting hatred, I'd be too busy deleting death threats to post here.

I've cut people off in traffic. I've pushed little old ladies out of the way in grocery stores while their sons looked meekly on. I've exposed myself to four legged animals and small children, yelled at strangers over the phone, and behaved like an unwashed cretin at company functions.

And yet This is the best I can do?

Some rentacop from Bloody New Jersey whose idea of wit is to compare me with Heinrich Himmler, as if he was student of Nazi personalities? I mean, aside from the fact Himmler was taller, thinner, mustachioed and wore a pince-nez, is there really any physical resemblance, and moreover, did Himmler really post inanities on public fora? Does someone from Bloody New Jersey really have any idea what Himmler's personality really was?

Have I threatened to institute mass genocide and forgotten about it?

Is <font size=0>breakthrough</font> confusing me with Donald Pleasance? It's happened before.

Is this the best the world has to offer me?

The pure, unadulterated hatred of a mortal enemy is second only to the love of a good woman. Seanachai, you've been silent lately, I thought perhaps you have sneaked off somewhere to enjoy the mutual dislike and intimacy of a secret animosity somewhere. I have to believe you would share that relationship with us, your friends, but I see no mention of it. Perhaps its time to come clean. I look to you for advice.

If you haven't been getting some antipathy on the side, then perhaps we're both simply doomed, eh? Cause I don't see any of the clowns on this site as worthy of being truly hated by.

You seem content, more or less, but I suspect you share my frustration at being able to cultivate the real dyed-in-the-wool kind of hate.

Can we work with Breakthrough? I mean, following me around like a puppydog begging me to hate him is embarrassing - but does it show the kind of promise and potential we are looking for?

<font size=0>sanddigger</font> I won't even mention - he probably thinks "oi, oi, oi" is a noun, for heaven's sake.

[ September 02, 2004, 09:02 PM: Message edited by: Michael Dorosh ]

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I AM, as is acknowledged by one and all ... or at least a goodly portion of all, well some of all ... okay one FOR SURE ... the SOUL of the CessPool ... such as it is. If I'm not deserving of an HONEST AND TRUE BLESSING ...who is?

And I gave you an HONEST AND TRUE BLESSING, which you decided to ignore. Was the something about "Bless you my son. Go forth and sin some more." that you found dishonest or untrue? You can't be a martyr if you crucify yourself </font>

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

And then he wanders by, days late and smelling of rotgut spirits and tosses off a blessing cribbed from an excorcism! Well, you can hardly blame me for my pique ... pic ... pissed off state.

Joe

Alright, young man! That's enough of that. Someone's getting a time out if they don't stop all this sulking and put on their happy face.

Christ, that even made me gag, just writing it.

ROIGHT!

SHAW, YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAN! YOU WILL ACKNOWLEDGE MY BLESSING, YOU WILL ADJUST YOUR ATTITUDE, YOU WILL STAND UP STRAIGHT, ZIP YOUR BLOODY FLY, AND STOP EYE-BALLING ME! ARE YOU HEARING ME, SHAW, YOU PONCING GIT? WELL, ARE YOU?!

Did I hear a hearty 'Yes, Seanachai', from you Shaw? Because I believe that I should be hearing a hearty 'Yes, Seanachai' from you, Shaw!

Now, perhaps you feel that you've been 'treated unjustly'. Well, look here, Shaw. Look at my pointing finger. See the tears? Can you see them? No? Not one pearly drop, poised like salty dew, quivering below my eye on me cheek? Nothing?

THAT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T BE HAVING WITH ANY OF THIS, YOU BIG GIRL'S BLOUSE!

In all my born days, I've never heard such a lot of bloody whinging! I demand, demand, do you hear me, that you leave off this unseemly sniveling and perform the duties of your office. What sort of example are you setting for the Serfs? Look at Wisbech Lad over there? Do you see the speculative look in his eye? Can't you just hear the gears turning? 'Hmm, all one has to do is act wounded, and throw a fit, and you'll get all sorts of attention and affirmation'!

Damn it, Joe! The only thing that stands between us and having to give the fecking SSNs 'hugs and kisses' is that we all do our duty!

You've gone soft, man. I can only assume that serious alcohol poisoning or some sort of poxy 'mid-life crisis' is to blame. A man of your position, of your stature shouldn't descend to this need for...for...assurance! Acknowledgment! For bloody 'coddling'!

Now, I want to see you shake off this sudden, unmanly concern for 'affirmation', and get out there and do your duty.

What is it, lad? Troubles at home? I like to think that I'm approachable. That, no matter how shameful the problem, that I'm ready to hear about it.

Wasn't I there for Dalem when he went 'gay' and got a cat? Didn't I listen to RLeete's endless pissing and moaning about the 'duties of fatherhood'? Haven't I spent night after night bailing Lars out of the county lockup (that reminds me, it's just about time to get offline to call the bail bondsman...it is Thursday after bar-time, isn't it?).

I'm wounded, lad, that rather than simply telling me what's bothering you, that you're making such an issue of this whole 'blessing' business.

[Mace]

Oi, Speedy!

Congrats on the shortest duration of thread ever!

You've made a MBT mark on the GD that we're all proud of!

Mace

[Mace]

Of course I blame alcohol for a double post! *hic*

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Seanachai, you gibbering bastard! How did you do it? How the hell did you get fate to bestow upon me the same treatment at her hands that you've received?

Why did I fail so utterly to be able to cultivate a decent Mortal Enemy? We know how much you sucked at it with Cabron66. We know how the fates smiled on Bloody Emrys. These facts are not in dispute.

Why must I be lumped in with the likes of you however?

I don't even refer to one <font size=0>gaylordfocker</font>, whom wasn't even a good sized nemesis much less Arch Villain, or even Mortal Enemy.

I've tried. I've shot my mouth off on the internet. Lord knows, if prolificy was enough to engender long-lasting hatred, I'd be too busy deleting death threats to post here.

I've cut people off in traffic. I've pushed little old ladies out of the way in grocery stores while their sons looked meekly on. I've exposed myself to four legged animals and small children, yelled at strangers over the phone, and behaved like an unwashed cretin at company functions.

Ah, where to begin.

Michael, we live in degenerate times. There was a time when a man could expect to receive an honest day's hatred for an honest day's posting of opinion, gibberish, and satirical abuse. But no longer. What went wrong?

The world changed, Michael. It wasn't that we became less opinionated, or annoying, or arrogant. It's simply that those who despise us have become...smaller. We remain the towering figures of Board arrogance we were, and always shall be. But those who show up to dislike us now are, all too often, children or fools. Receiving their taunts is like being licked to death by kittens. It's an unseemly way to go. It demeans us. Why, I hear that even Andreas has been seen standing by the motorway holding the sign 'Will Garner Hatred For Food'.

That's no way to spend one's declining posting years.

In part, I blame the General Forum for leaching away the hatred that is rightfully ours. Opening up a Roman Circus of fools could only dissipate and dilute the bile that could more appropriately be showered on individuals like you and I. What could we do? We went to the General Forum. But amidst the cacophony of utter, sodding stupidity that it became, who could even take note of how much more deserving of hatred we were? When you have the posturings of a Jon J Rambo, a Gunslingr, a Sergeant Bevis, who will take note of those who put some actual thought into being hated? No one, Michael. Why read Shakespeare, when Reality TV beckons so stridently? Who can even hear a call to Forum Elitism when it's drowned out by voices screaming that their diaper is full?

I take some heart, Grog Dorosh, in separating the caterwauling of the 'politicos' from the rest of the GF. And so should you.

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

And yet This is the best I can do?

Some rentacop from Bloody New Jersey whose idea of wit is to compare me with Heinrich Himmler, as if he was student of Nazi personalities? I mean, aside from the fact Himmler was taller, thinner, mustachioed and wore a pince-nez, is there really any physical resemblance, and moreover, did Himmler really post inanities on public fora? Does someone from Bloody New Jersey really have any idea what Himmler's personality really was?

I thought that characterization very unfair, Michael. Both in attitude, demeanor, and actual pose, I thought you much more reminiscent of 'Il Duce'. The 'Himmler' remark was tawdry. I mean, you're a vicious little dictator who will run roughshod over those who oppose you, but you're certainly not a cry-baby genocidal git who faints at the sight of blood and who's only desire for power is derived from the need to overcome being chosen last in team sports. Mussolini, perhaps. Himmler, never. Play fair, 'Breakthrough'. Our Michael is a dictator, not an 'also ran' cream puff who probably retired to bed each night holding Hitler's underwear.

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Have I threatened to institute mass genocide and forgotten about it?

Not that I've noticed. Of course, I don't read all your posts. I need to eat and sleep, occasionally, and there's only so much time in any given 72 hour period. I may have missed your call to genocide, but I do try and keep up. Within the limits of human endurance, of course.

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Is this the best the world has to offer me? The pure, unadulterated hatred of a mortal enemy is second only to the love of a good woman.

Never think it, Michael. The gods know I hate you. I can't be alone, nor the only one who is worthy. Live in hope, Grog Dorosh.

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Seanachai, you've been silent lately, I thought perhaps you have sneaked off somewhere to enjoy the mutual dislike and intimacy of a secret animosity somewhere. I have to believe you would share that relationship with us, your friends, but I see no mention of it. Perhaps its time to come clean. I look to you for advice.

Michael, like you now, I despaired. I thought 'no matter how much irrelevant gibberish I post, now matter how often I pop into a thread and simply confuse or annoy people, no matter how much common sense I display regarding the relevancy of us all, I'm either ignored, or shrugged off, or attract only the attention of idiots whose hatred wouldn't satisfy the needs of government bureaucracy or Microsoft customer support. I felt...invisible. Unappreciated. Like Cyrano, I paraded my panache before the crowd, and was regarded with either confusion, or dismissal. All too often, I felt that my efforts were not merely misunderstood, but seen as 'irrelevant'.

I even went so far as to go to 'other forums'. Do you know what I got, Michael? I got Gaylord.

But I was wrong, Michael. Hatred, like the seasons, is eternal. And like the Spring, its time will come again.

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

If you haven't been getting some antipathy on the side, then perhaps we're both simply doomed, eh? Cause I don't see any of the clowns on this site as worthy of being truly hated by.

You seem content, more or less, but I suspect you share my frustration at being able to cultivate the real dyed-in-the-wool kind of hate.

Cultivate patience, Michael. Hatred is a garden, and nothing blooms before its time. Stay the course. Ask yourself, as I have 'Am I not worthy of hatred?' You are, I am, and hatred will be ours again.

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Can we work with Breakthrough? I mean, following me around like a puppydog begging me to hate him is embarrassing - but does it show the kind of promise and potential we are looking for?

I will study him in more detail. Remember, Michael, that we did not achieve hatred overnight. Why should our Mortal Enemies spring onto the scene like Athena from Zeus's forehead?

And now, I'm for bed. To dream, as all who long for hatred, of that Mortal Enemy who will make all things right. Who will bring everything that I am, and have done, into focus. Who will vindicate me. Who will validate me. Who will complete me. And who will give my long, long struggle the meaning that it deserves.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Mace:

Oi, Speedy!

Congrats on the shortest duration of thread ever!

You've made a MBT mark on the GD that we're all proud of!

Mace

Yeah, that was impressive, Speedy. Christ, the 'Holocaust Denier' and 'Neo-Nazi Recruiting' threads have lasted longer.

Try and reconstruct the ingredient list that inspired it. Hate to see a formula like that pass from the world, you loon.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Some rentacop from Bloody New Jersey whose idea of wit is to compare me with Heinrich Himmler, as if he was student of Nazi personalities? I mean, aside from the fact Himmler was taller, thinner, mustachioed and wore a pince-nez, is there really any physical resemblance, and moreover, did Himmler really post inanities on public fora? Does someone from Bloody New Jersey really have any idea what Himmler's personality really was?

Maybe he just thought you were a chicken farmer?

[Michael Dorosh]

Originally posted by Lars:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Some rentacop from Bloody New Jersey whose idea of wit is to compare me with Heinrich Himmler, as if he was student of Nazi personalities? I mean, aside from the fact Himmler was taller, thinner, mustachioed and wore a pince-nez, is there really any physical resemblance, and moreover, did Himmler really post inanities on public fora? Does someone from Bloody New Jersey really have any idea what Himmler's personality really was?

Maybe he just thought you were a chicken farmer? </font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Why must I be lumped in with the likes of you however?

Oh, please. This one is too easy.

You've never heard any of us remarking that we all consider you and Seanachai to be the Chang and Eng of the BFC forums?

For the longest time, we considered that either you were an extra personality of his or he of yours.

And the arguments you two would have were just some kind of inner personality conflict.

A Sybil War if you will.

But then we came to realize that you weren't just two aspects of the same person, but that, rather, you were just two regular, sad, emotional cripples who were cast together in this forum by cruel destiny.

We're thinking of taking up a collection so you two can room together.

Hell, Seanachai's almost a Canadian what with his annoying bonhomie and his inability to distinguish between bacon and ham.

We'll move him up there with you. Get you two a set of bunk beds. With Spiderman sheets.

Think about it. Won't you?

[Speedy]

Originally posted by Mace:

Oi, Speedy!

Congrats on the shortest duration of thread ever!

You've made a MBT mark on the GD that we're all proud of!

Mace

Thanks mate.

By the way it's my grandfathers 80th birthday today so I have to go and help him drink his grog ( mmmmm beer and bundy, must remember to take the funnel), hence there will be no turns from me for a few days.

Cheers

[Noba]

Originally posted by Speedy:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace:

Oi, Speedy!

Congrats on the shortest duration of thread ever!

You've made a MBT mark on the GD that we're all proud of!

Mace

Thanks mate.

By the way it's my grandfathers 80th birthday today so I have to go and help him drink his grog ( mmmmm beer and bundy, must remember to take the funnel), hence there will be no turns from me for a few days.

Cheers </font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Noba:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Speedy:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace:

Oi, Speedy!

Congrats on the shortest duration of thread ever!

You've made a MBT mark on the GD that we're all proud of!

Mace

Thanks mate.

By the way it's my grandfathers 80th birthday today so I have to go and help him drink his grog ( mmmmm beer and bundy, must remember to take the funnel), hence there will be no turns from me for a few days.

Cheers </font>

[Mace]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Noba:

It's my Father-in-law's 80th next weekend. I hear the family have organised a real "Entertainer" - female - that will... [whisper]take off clothes[/whisper]...AND, this is the R E A L thing !!

Turns may be a bit delayed, next weekend.

Noba.

ps. All the beer is supplied as well.

WOW! So you'll actually, finally, maybe get to see a real, live, naked (mostly,perhaps) woman!

Tell your relatives to bring plenty of smelling salts. </font>

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

You're doubting Lar's cache of alcohol?

Papa

You know, you can walk into Lars's bathroom to take a piss and reach right into the toilet tank to get a fresh beer? He even keeps ice in there so they're nice and cool.

Hell, for that matter, you can reach in between the cushions or under any piece of furniture in the place and come up with a bottle of something.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Mace:

Yep, she's going to undress the 80 year old birthday 'boy', and probably give him a sponge bath to boot.

Mace

Oh, thank you, Mace. I just finished the last weld on my synapse net by-passing the portion of the brain you inserted that image into.

Fortunately I have such a large cognitive center that I won't be negatively impacted by the loss of that zone. Now, who's for a game of golf?

... .... ....

Dear God, Mace, what have you done to me, you bastard!

[Seanachai]

mumble, mumble bloody Aussies...mumble

Now, as I meant to say earlier, how 'bout a jolly singsong?

When I was a miller in Fife,

Losh! I thought that the sound o' the happer

Said, ``Tak' hame a wee flow to your wife,

To help to mak' brose to your supper.''

Then my conscience was narrow and pure,

But someway by random it rackit;

For I lifted twa neivefu' or mair,

While the happer said, ``Tak' it, man tak' it.''

Then hey for the mill and the kiln,

The garland and gear for my cogie,

And hey for the whisky and gill,

That washes the dust frae my craigie.

Although it's been lang in repute

For rogues to mak' rich by deceiving,

Yet I see that it disna weel suit

Honest men to begin to the thieving.

For my heart it gaed dunt upon dunt,

Oh, I thought ilka dunt it wad crack it;

Sae I flang frae my neive what was in't,

Still the happer said, ``Tak' it, man, tak' it.''

A man that's been bred to the plough,

Might be deav'd wi' its clamorous clapper;

Yet there's few but would suffer the sough,

After kenning what's said by the happer.

I whiles thought it scoff'd me to scorn,

Saying, ``Shame, is your conscience no chackit?''

But when I grew dry from a horn,

It chang'd aye to ``Tak' it, man, tak' it.''

The smugglers whiles cam' wi' their pocks,

'Cause they kent that I likit a bicker,

Sae I bartered whiles wi' the gowks,

Gied them grain for a sowp o' their liquor.

I had lang been accustomed to drink,

And aye when I purposed to quat it,

That thing wi' its clappertie clink

Said aye to me, ``Tak' it, man, tak' it.''

But the warst thing I did in my life,

Nae doot but ye'll think I was wrang o't;

Od! I tauld a bit bodie in Fife

A' my tale, and he made a bit sang o't.

I have aye had a voice a' my days,

But for singin' I ne'er gat the knack o't;

Yet I try whyles, just thinking to please

The greedy, wi' ``Tak' it, man, tak' it.''

Now, miller and a' as I am,

This far I can see through the matter;

There's men mair notorious to fame,

Mair greedy than me o' the muter.

For 'twad seem that the hale race o' men,

Or, wi' safety, the hauf we may mak' it,

Ha'e some speaking happer within,

That said to them ``Tak' it, man, tak' it.''