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Your Love is like Peng Challenging, and Peng Challenging is What I Need


dalem

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This is Pengworld.

Here on Pengworld, I make the best thread titles, I make the best versifications, and my opponents are often seen writhing in the grip of my superior play.

So what do YOU do on Pengworld?

If you're still reading this you are no doubt an SSN - which means you are weak and formless. You will be witty without being twitty. You will dance for our amusement. You will treat the Ladies of the Pool with respect, and you will treat our Queen...

Well, I'm a Bloody Yank so I don't know how the heck to treat a queen. Check with the Poms.

Speaking of Queen, that puts us in the mood to versify.

Now, you must know that it pleases Seanachai when we versify. Since I am the most highly-skilled versificationer here in the Pool I will start us off, because it pleases us to make Seanachai smile.

Ahem.

Pe-e-e-eng Challenge!

Pe-e-e-eng Challenge!

Pe-e-e-eng Challenge!

I want to ride my Peng Challenge

I want to ride in the Pool

I want to ride my Peng Challenge

I want to ride it where I like

You say BB I say BO

You say PzKfw VIE I say M-18

You say T-34 I say hey man

East Front was never my scene

And I don't like rockets

You say KAR-98 I say Lee-Enfield

You say Sherman give me a choice

You say PzIII I say Christ

I don't believe in Peter Pan

Andreas or Berli-man

All I wanna do is

Pe-e-e-eng Challenge!

Pe-e-e-eng Challenge!

Pe-e-e-eng Challenge!

I want to ride my Peng Challenge

I want to ride in the Pool

I want to ride my Peng Challenge

I want to ride it --

Sandy Peng Challenges are coming your way

So forget all your duties oh yeah!

Fat bottomed girls

They'll be Penging today

So look out for those beauties oh yeah

On your Mark IVs get set go

Peng Challenging

Peng Challenging

Peng Challengi-i-i-ng

I want to ride my Peng Challenge

Peng Challenge Peng Challenge Peng Challenge

Peng Challenging

You say coke I say sprite

You say Jim I say Boggs

Hot dog I say cool it man

I don't wanna be the President of Joe Shaw's Fan Club

You say Boo I say cheese

Seanachai I say please

SSN I say Jesus

I don't wanna be a candidate for

Playing them or finding hate

Cos all I wanna do is

Peng Challenge Peng Challenge Peng Challenge

I want to ride my Peng Challenge Peng Challenge Peng Challenge

I want to ride my Peng Challenge

I want to ride in the Pool

I want to ride my Peng Challenge

I want to ride it where I like

Thank you, goodnight!

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Were those supposed to be the rules? Where's the bit about sounding off like you have a pair, the bit about challenging somone of your own stature, the bit about sodding off?

Those weren't rules, they were just dalem in a warm and fuzzy mood. And that scares me.

(edit to add: after that flaccid attempt at rules, I'm conflicted about whether to even bold the hippy's name.)

[ November 19, 2003, 08:36 AM: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

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Gawd-damn dalem, that was the worst Peng Challenge Thread opening post I have ever experienced in any of the threads I have read.

Do you fall over whenever you try to sit in a chair? 'Cause that was the most half-assed attempt I've ever seen. It's so bad, it almost makes me want the Just-a-carrot back to do one of his opening posts...

Sheesh.

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**In the darkness of the cesspool, in a ignored corner, once again a trap door opens, and a figure emerges, carrying the famed scroll of NDA.

**The figure approaches the podium, and once more, rune speaks upon the Pengish masses...

"Where is the vile? Where is the hate? What has the hippy turned this to, the Cheery Waffle?"

**The crowd reacts violently, and Bauhaus restores order.

"This shall NOT do on this day of days. What next, are we to have Berli, Dalem, Joebob, and Mace sing 'All we need is love?'"

**Once more the members of the pool react violently. Bauhaus threathens not to sit down, and order is restored....

"As the junior evil of the Peng thread [ Berli made me the western marketing manager for evil], I have no choice but to hoist a rune scenario on all of you. It will feature explody things, crunchies, more explody things, more crunchies, at guns, more explody things AND....

The Desert!!!!!"

**A hush falls over the Peng masses....

"You brought this upon yourselves. You may hang Dalem if you like..."

**As the crowd chase the shocked Dalem, the figure retreats to the trap door, disappears down it, and the door slams shuts and locks....

Rune

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Originally posted by rune:

I have no choice but to hoist a rune scenario on all of you. It will feature explody things, crunchies, more explody things, more crunchies, at guns, more explody things AND....

The Desert!!!!!"

Rune

Don't worry, you remain the:

Epitome of Evil

Baron of Badness

Duke of Deception

Earl of Equivocation

Head of HRS

Go forth then, evil one and run amuck midst the terrain maps and unit availability charts.

While the innocent masses quiver in anticipation.

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You heard my grand-liege, everybody! You heard that most ancient shambling evil, that devious artificer of pointy 'splodey hells, rune! So what are you waiting for?

Hang him! Hang dalem (whose name shall no longer be bolded)! Hang dalem by every tree he's ever watched fall while cheering the loggers with an orcish grin. Hang him by the neck, by the feet, by the hair (that'll be easy)... Hang dalem by the naughty bits until he squeals!

And once we've hanged him steal his Y-wing! Yes, steal it and make it the centerpiece of a diorama of a bunch of ewocs having a love-in with Chewbacca!

Dalem be hanged!

(and I can't figure out why the hippy thinks I have something against him).

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Originally posted by Speedy:

It's in the corner Mace next to Lars' blow up doll.

Yes, I have a doll and I exploded it regularly with M80's.

Next time try to spell "inflatable".

Twit.

SSN Hint Of The Day: Exercise chutzpah.

Now sod off.

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You're all just jealous of my versificationistic skillitude, my lean and mean rule-i-fying, and my toe-tapping, soul-searing, mullettudinous thread titles.

If for that; petty jealousy, you feel the need to hang me, I say bring the rope. I shall come back to walk amongst you. I will be the first haunting of the MBT.

Jealousy so becomes you.

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Originally posted by Persephone:

DalemBong.jpg

Dalem preparing for his versifications and persiflages...

Every man needs his own special Muse.

dalem's goes for $65 per quarter ounce.

"Pass it to me baby.

Pass it to me slowly,

Take some time for a little smile, before you let it go,

We gonna hang around the shanty, mama

And put a good buzz on

Every night and day (if we can help it).

We gonna hang around the shanty, mama

And put a good buzz on."

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Sick, tired, world weary. There is a loathing that does not go out.

Longing for the Apocalypso...

Good!

Seeing's how you aren't doing anything, if the demo is released before 5PM EST, how about sending the demo to my e-mail addie at home!

That's a good fellow!!

THE DEMO IS OUT!!!!!!

Seanachai-did I mention that you are almost godlike in nature? Your compassion and willingness to assist those who are stuck at work is to be highly commended!!!!!

[ November 19, 2003, 12:34 PM: Message edited by: Jim Boggs ]

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