Joe Shaw Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by MrSpkr: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Oh ... go thump a Bible or something you ... you ... Inquisitor General type.I would, but your head isn't close enough. p.s. I ain't no Mormon. Prove it. As of right now, you live in Utah. Res ipsa locquitur. Steve </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: LenaKonrad (spelt but not bolded): (5.875% 30 year fixed at par): Lose the sig. (Double Eagle): Lose the "kisses" (Austrian Flag): Sod Off! Joe Don't worry LenaKonrad, the outlaw was just jealous your kisses were going out to everyone and not just to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Boo visits the home of his liege, Croda Since returning to the MBT with all the suppressed fury of a dyspeptic goat, M’Lud Croda had required of me that I perform a task to gauge my worthiness as a knight. (Yes, I know. Being “worthy” enough to be a knight in THIS house is about as oxymoronic as you can get and not be Joe Shaw, but there you have it.) Driving along the highway in eastern Pennsylvania, I whistled a tune, tunelessly while looking for his exit. “Surely, a knight as well known as M’Lud must live in a very exclusive neighborhood.” I thought, scanning the signs. “Welcome to Shacktown”, the sign said. “Yep. This must be the place.” But I saw by the nearby rendering plant that at least M’Lud lived in the better part of town. Turning up his street, er lane, er path, I noticed that it had snowed heavily and that there were still mounds and mounds of huge, dirty piles of snow. “Humph, must be colder than it looks for these to have not melted at all.” I thought, looking at the car sized piles. But wait, those aren’t piles of snow…why those are piles OF DIRTY DIAPERS!!! Getting out of my car in his driveway (actually just a bare patch of dirt near M’Lud’s Yugo) the stench assailed me like a great, huge smelly, err…thing. My bowels turned to jelly (mint, to be specific). That made me think of lambs… (Note to self: Buy Mace a Lambchop hand puppet for Xmas next.) That should really mess him up. The smell was so overpowering that I felt I had found the CessPool branch office. “Well, nothing to be done but knock on the door.” I said matching deed to words, but no sooner had my hand touched the rusted knocker than the door was flung open and I was greeted by the bellowing voice of Croda. “I TOLD you the check’s in the mail, you bunch of thieving bloodsuckers! You’ll NOT be taking my car!” There he stood, attired in what appeared to be an apron that proclaimed that the wearer apparently hated housework, and a pair of fuzzy slippers. And I believe nothing else. “No, M’Lud, tis I, Boo Radley, come at your summons.” “Ah my faithful former squire, good! You can start on your task right away.” “But wait, M’Lud! I’ve driven such a long way, have you no refreshments?” “Refreshments? Well, I do have this last half can of Iron City, if you don’t mind backwash.” “No, that’s OK, I’m good. You go ahead and finish it. Maybe I should just start on my task.” And I muttered, “The sooner I get done, the sooner I can get out of DogPatch, PA.” “What was that you said?” Growled Croda in a voice not unlike a dump truck grinding it’s way out of third gear. “I SAID, THE SOONER I GET STARTED, THE SOONER I CAN PROVE MY WORTHINESS TO YOU, LEIGE OF LEIGES.” “Ha! Like that can happen. But you show a good attitude. See all the piles of diapers that dot the yard?” “If you mean by ‘dot the yard’, overflow it, stealing all hope and joy from the very landscape, then yes, I see them.” “ Well, heh heh, the Crodettes are now eating solid food and they’ve certainly been productive. You need to clean them all up.” The thought of dealing with several tons of Crodette end products made me Blanche Dubois right down to my toes. “Umm…how shall I go about this, M’Lud?” See the rototiller over there? Just rototill them into the ground. The wife wants a flower garden, and by gosh, she’s going to get one! You may have to fuss with it a bit. It’s been awhile since I used it. Of course, it refused to run. It refused to even turn over, so I poked and prodded it and kicked it once or twice, and in kicking it, something fell out from the underside. “Oh my G… Is that a dog’s ear???” Oh, right, right, right. That belonged to dalem. Or his dog, at least. Try it now.” “Oh yes, M’Lud, it’s running like a well oiled French border guard, sportin’ a brand new pair of Nikes.” “Well then,” laughed Croda, as he slung another hundredweight of soiled nappies in the general direction of my head, “ best be getting started. Tonight’s the planting moon and Burpees waits for no man.” To be continued… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: {translator on switch..} like yes, seanachai how that become? you love too. fine ja berli love pumpkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by AussieJeff: you to berli fear that? my give *boot* lift to quire? funny it, eh? JA gut ein ist....see that??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by PondScum: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem, my erstwhile liege: <font size=-1>The Prophet sees the Revelation</font>.Mon petite general, I think your prophecying duties are being usurped by this Strange Polish Person </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Would one of you other Australians go over and just hit AJ really, really hard? Please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally belched by Boo_Radley: Boo visits the home of his liege, Croda {snip} To be continued… It's Central PA, not Eastern. I'd never be caught dead drinking Iron City - Yuengling Lager is the preferred general drinking beer in these here parts. The part about the diapers is true, however. Though he lied about disliking the smell. Send a turn you lunkhead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Croda: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally belched by Boo_Radley: Boo visits the home of his liege, Croda {snip} To be continued… It's Central PA, not Eastern. I'd never be caught dead drinking Iron City - Yuengling Lager is the preferred general drinking beer in these here parts. The part about the diapers is true, however. Though he lied about disliking the smell. Send a turn you lunkhead. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: Would one of you other Australians go over and just hit AJ really, really hard? Please? Throw in the airfare (including return) and accommodation and I'll consider it once there. Hey AJ, any great pubs around your place? My shout first. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Ah but I was BORN in TexasNo need to apologise. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Mace: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley: Would one of you other Australians go over and just hit AJ really, really hard? Please? Throw in the airfare (including return) and accommodation and I'll consider it once there. Hey AJ, any great pubs around your place? My shout first. Mace </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BilgeRat Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Aaaarrgh! Tis time for a sea shanty methinks Maid of Amsterdam (Hortlhund's Lament) In Amsterdam there lived a maid Mark you well what I say! In Amsterdam there lives a maid, And this fair maid the language flayed. Chorus I'll go no more a duelin', with you fair maid. A dueling, A dueling, since dueling's been my ru-i-in, I'll go no more a dueling, with you fair maid. Her verse be unlike any knight Mark you well what I say Her verse be unlike any knight, And that was to Sean-a-chai's delight. Chorus I told this fair maid to take a walk, Mark well what I do say I told this maid to take a walk That we might stop this creepy stalk. Chorus Alas I took this fair maid's glove, Mark well what I do say Alas I took this fair maid's glove Instead of giving her a shove. Chorus Then a great ugly Utahman rammed my bow Mark well what I do say For a great ugly Utahman rammed my bow, And said, "Young man, dis bin mein vrow!" Chorus Then take warning boys, from me, Mark well what I do say! So take a warning, boys, from me, With mormon wives don't make too free. Chorus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Proclamation: I want to state now in this Cesspool , in front of all of you {insert insulting discription here}...that Aussie Jeff is probably the funniest bastard that I have ever come across in my sojourn through this veil. I am not sure whether his comic abilities stem from a natural talent for humor or from a drunken dementia.... I don't feckken' care! he is thoroughly entertaining..... and gamey as well (in a road kill sense). AJ if you ever have the chance to visit the States mate, mi casa en su casa , I'd love to throw a few back with you. (serious). P.S. Don't bring Noba with you if you decide to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Nidan1: Proclamation: I want to state now in this Cesspool , in front of all of you {insert insulting discription here}...that Aussie Jeff is probably the funniest bastard that I have ever come across in my sojourn through this veil. I am not sure whether his comic abilities stem from a natural talent for humor or from a drunken dementia.... I don't feckken' care! he is thoroughly entertaining..... and gamey as well (in a road kill sense). AJ if you ever have the chance to visit the States mate, mi casa en su casa , I'd love to throw a few back with you. (serious). P.S. Don't bring Noba with you if you decide to come. Well, Pillock - you got the bastard bit right.... (It's really the radiation that leaks from the granites that make up his cave - err - house.) Noba. ps. send a turn. Git. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SgtMuhammed Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 I too have found Sir Aussie Jeff to be quite amusing. Especially when he sends you a battle in snow so deep you can't see your tanks while his traipse about like Legolas. I think it has something to do with him being upside down and all. His many words of wit and wisdom leave me with but one question. Doesn't anybody work down there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Nidan1: Proclamation: I want to state now in this Cesspool , in front of all of you {insert insulting discription here}...that Aussie Jeff is probably the funniest bastard that I have ever come across in my sojourn through this veil. I am not sure whether his comic abilities stem from a natural talent for humor or from a drunken dementia.... I don't feckken' care! he is thoroughly entertaining..... and gamey as well (in a road kill sense). AJ if you ever have the chance to visit the States mate, mi casa en su casa , I'd love to throw a few back with you. (serious). P.S. Don't bring Noba with you if you decide to come. boo see? like brothers, too! all in family - big hug and also you. good lad nidan1 makes son happy but a turn. why no? you sleepy? chappy? nnoba mad, not young man but try he send tanky to bob. like - he die, so start to smoke at house for what? me giggle out under hat at twat ja no poet but funny? sick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Crazy Aussie: boo see? like brothers, too! all in family - big hug and also you. good lad nidan1 makes son happy but a turn. why no? you sleepy? chappy? sorry,me work now at see? must make money to feed family can never sure what time Australia is or maybe you sleep never? (this is fun) send many kisses now, but turn no tonite meybe, im sure,trenches make me sad toodles for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Kill the heathen user of emoticons! Build a bridge out of him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: Kill the heathen user of emoticons! Build a bridge out of him! Send a turn first Build bridge later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Nidan1: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr /> Originally posted by Crazy Aussie: boo see? like brothers, too! all in family - big hug and also you. good lad nidan1 makes son happy but a turn. why no? you sleepy? chappy? sorry,me work now at see? must make money to feed family can never sure what time Australia is or maybe you sleep never? (this is fun) send many kisses now, but turn no tonite meybe, im sure,trenches make me sad toodles for now. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Hokay, the next guy that lapses into broken verse like the Polish guy, dies a hideous death. There'll be wailing, weeping, teeth gnashing...the whole nine yards So. Just. Stopit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Nidan1: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: Kill the heathen user of emoticons! Build a bridge out of him! Send a turn first Build bridge later </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Nidan1: Build bridge later He did it again he did it again! The pond. Throw him into the pond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: Hokay, the next guy that lapses into broken verse like the Polish guy, dies a hideous death. There'll be wailing, weeping, teeth gnashing...the whole nine yards So. Just. Stopit! spoilysport. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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