imported_Hiram Sedai Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: lenakonrad...please stop posting here and go away. Lieutenant, shut your pie hole. Don't wait til the Yule season, shut it now. I checked the roster of all the people who decides who can and who CANNOT post around here and I did not see your name on that list. What does that tell me? You, sir are a candidate of shutting said piehole. Let me ‘splain it a little better for you. Shut up! Cease your inane prattling. Take your opinion and place it in a warm wet place. Don’t let it see any sunlight. Let it ferment and grow until one day when somebody somewhere might care a whit about what you think. Since the average genital wart has more gumption and sentience than you, I cannot fathom why you would think that your dim witted, synaptically challenged brain would reason well enough to type out a sentence of any importance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Pointless like 90% of your posts? Can this really be true? Did an olde one just say that 10% of my posts have some kind of point? And since I have posted... *checks stats* 1015 posts so far, that means a staggering 101,5 posts of mine has had a point according to the Olde Ones. WOHOOOO HAAAA how about that you all you other tards!! No one of you have ever posted anything whatsoever other than pointless drivel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallybob Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 But our pointless drivel can be amusing, whereas what you spout out is...pointed...from your nether regions, and is spewing over us with...disgust. Truly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 Hiram...may I call you Hiram? Or would you prefer some other epithet? Because trust me there is a wide variety of nicknames you could chose from. To list but a few...pillock, git, carrot boy, Susan, Optimus Prime, Rambo...yes there are indeed many nicknames avaliable. So please, if you are uncomfortable with me calling you Hiram, I suggest you select any other name, (preferably the one which you want to be called), then tatoo it into your forhead, snap a picture of the tatoo, and then mail that picture to someone who cares. I have read some idiotic ramblings in this Mutha Beautiful Thread, but yours are...well, pretty much as idiotic as the rest really. But STILL there must be something I can say to make you realize just how silly that post of yours is.... Lets try this. Imagine a small town in Turkey right now. In this town a man lives together with his wife. Every day the man goes to work, and every night he comes home. His wife spends the days tending to the garden, and doing other housewife-stuff. One day, the wife realizes she needs a new bucket. This because the old bucket is ...getting old...or somefink. So she calls her husband at work, and says Darling, can you pick up a new bucket on your way home, we need a new bucket. And the husband replies Yes, sure thing honey. Now imagine that right before the husband leaves work that day, he picks up the phone and decides to dial a random number in Sweden. By chance he dials my number, and he explains in great detail (in English preferably) that he is on his way home from work, and that he is about to buy a new bucket for his wife, he proceeds to tell me what store he will buy the bucket in, what kind of bucket he plans to purchase, then he starts explain in even greater detail the history of that store and how many buckets that store sells on an average day. Can you imagine how little I would care about that man and his bucket? Good. Now multiply that feeling by 10^27 and you will know exactly how much I care about you and your post. Now SOD OFF [ May 26, 2003, 04:50 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: ...and place it in a warm wet place. Don't let it see any sunlight. Let it ferment and grow until one day... ... one gets a fungal infection... it all starts this way... Yeknod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 I keep getting these spam E-mails concerning clogged septic systems. Someone must have confused my E-mail address with Hiram's. I thought as much when I got the "Grow larger breasts in just 30 days!", but now I'm sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snarker Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 Just popped in to put the vomit bucket in the corner, this being a drunken weekend and all. Persephone, I happened across a piccie of the Gnome on his jaunt with the homeless. Would you be able to do the touch up work? Hmm, I hear some 2 stroke engine noises... time to go watch the neighbor. City-slicker-gone-to-country is likkered up and thinks now is a good time to cut down some trees. Good thing he's never used a chainsaw before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 alms for a leper....alms for a leper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Stuka! My word, you live! Well, sorta. Did you always smell like that? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Snarker: Persephone, I happened across a piccie of the Gnome on his jaunt with the homeless. Would you be able to do the touch up work? Snarker, I don't understand.....this piccy didn't need any retouching.... Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Is that an Uber package mod? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 27, 2003 Author Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Stuka: alms for a leper....alms for a leper? Good God! Was that Stuka? I guess this means the bank holiday is over in Australia? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 27, 2003 Author Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: lenakonrad...please stop posting here and go away. Lacks wit. Also, any real point. No particular taunting quality. It seems to be the braying of an ass that's eaten sour sileage and is now in some distress. Hortland, my fleecy little lamb, if this Thread ever needs a bouncer, you would not be considered for the position. If you don't like someone's posts, I'm sure there's some neo-Fascist puddle of self-righteous piss on the General Forum that's simply crying out for the validation that your post would convey. Now, everyone play nice together. If you have no interest in someone, ignore their posts. Or at least taunt them in an interesting way, to the general amusement of all. But in general, those of us who have been here the longest, and therefore have had the opportunity to come to know and hate you all to the extent that you deserve, are completely disinterested in whether you dislike each other outside this place. Seriously, the knowledge that a ground squirrel can't stand a vole is more significant to us. So carry on without the 'personal' observations or requests. If you're going to come in here and make a serious point, filled with personalities and prejudices, be good enough to reserve the treatment for Outer Boarders, who have no rights, no lives, and no more significance to us than mayflies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 27, 2003 Author Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: Is that an Uber package mod? Good God, whose Stylist mod was I using?! I would cover up the horrible grooming by doing the underpants dance of victory...but...well, apparently I've already done the dance somewhere else, and neglected to bring along one of the necessary items of folkdance regalia... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 What's a lad to do then eh? As for me ... I'm going to Denver tomorrow and won't be back until Friday. Put that in your pipe and ... uh ... tamp it down or ream it out with a pipe cleaner or whatever it is you do with a pipe. What's that? Turns? I've been busy and haven't been feeling at all well and so your turns (well, not YOURS, YOURS I'm delaying until such time as I choose to resume the slaughter) will be delayed ... oh yeah ... well so's your old man and see how you like it. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 27, 2003 Author Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Snarker: Persephone, I happened across a piccie of the Gnome on his jaunt with the homeless. Would you be able to do the touch up work? Snarker, you disgusting baggage. Your obvious and belittling lie of a photo is so obviously not me that my outrage dries my mouth to the point where I cannot find the spit to coat your face with as you deserve. I would never wear bizarre homeless wear of that type until after Memorial Day, you hapless oik. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 27, 2003 Author Share Posted May 27, 2003 Yes, my cheeky friends, it's time for further revelations! I have been away from all of you, other than for sporadic remarks here and there, for many days now. But you see, my life has taken a very strange and unforseen turn. Certainly I never saw it coming, even after dealing with the weirdness of the Peng Challenge Thread (which is like a world unto itself, except rather poorly made, and with serious emotional issues). When last I was here recounting my life-altering experience, I had just made a fool of myself on Marquette Avenue in downtown Minneapolis, and, after some reflection, decided to go over to Hennepin Avenue to look for a Bodhisattva of Street Weirdness. So, follow now, as the camera moves from high over the city to swoop down, angling past tall buildings, rushing down the canyons of city streets to focus in on a heavyset, short, goofy looking gnome-like figure at 10th and Hennepin... I walked along to Hennepin, heading for the north end. If you can't find a street loon on Hennepin, it's because it's deep winter and they've all frozen to death. At 10th I immediately picked up a black guy, looked to be about 60, with a graying fluff of kinky hair around his head, a beat up black carcoat, tennis shoes, and threadbare gray pants that might have once belonged to some business suit. He was carrying several small, worn out, duffle style bags; one in either hand, and over one shoulder. He was talking in a normal voice, but to no one in particular; just a normal, regular-voiced spiel to no one, or everyone, or maybe he wasn't even aware that he was talking out loud, and we were all being treated to an inner monologue that clearly went on 24/7. "There's a plague coming, and they won't hear it, they don't listen, but it will sweep every nation and no one told me that all heads must bow before the wrath, THE WRATH, and no one knows what will be saved, but the plague will take every soul, and only those who are going to be saved will know who was taken, and when the taken come to judgement, they will know that the wrath was visited, and everyone, everyone must bow before the wrath, and it won't matter if you were tired, or what you were doing. Move on. Yeah, move on. But the plague is coming, and it will visit all mankind, and strong and weak will fall, and NO ONE will stand, and the plague will be biblical, and the plague will be big, and all will be small and weak, and I'm weak and I will stand, and I will move on, and no one, NO ONE can say what will fall and what will stand when the plague comes..." On and on, as meaningless and beautiful in its complexity as a graphic display of fractals. Aha! I thought to myself. How could I forget Bibllical/pseudo-Biblical gibberish? One of the mainstays of minds that have jumped at least one wheel off the track. Hell, the only way to tell the crazies from the devout, most of the time, is to see who's still pulling in good money. I followed Plague and Wrath, as I was thinking of him, for 7 blocks. He moved forward purposefully, but not quickly, and sometimes he'd stop and sway for a minute, and stare, and then take up the rap again. He never looked at anyone, just moving through his own space with enough perception of the city to keep from walking into anyone. Not that it took much effort. Even on the crowded sidewalk, people slid to either side of him as soon as they registered him. Like a crazy Moses he parted the waters of the crowd without effort, oblivious to the urban miracle. I skulked after him like Pharaoh's army gone all sheepish. When we hit Washington, where the old library was waiting to be torn down, he swayed for a moment, and then headed off towards the old warehouse district. I turned back to Marquette, to give things another try. I headed down Marquette, and began by mumbling, but then moved up to a 'just this side of being too loud' tone of voice: "And all those who were not found written into the Book of Life, were cast into a Lake of Fire! And I was cast, I was cast out, I was cast from iron, I was half caste, I was cast into life, and I was lost, and I walked my own way, and I came to the lake of fire, and I was washed clean of sin, and sin, Sin, SIN, was washed from me in the lake, and everything was swept away, SWEPT AWAY, and I have swept every floor in hell, and every floor in heaven, and every floor in purgatory, and sin swept me off my feet, and I have swept where no man has swept before..." And I started to have this...feeling. I thought about all the construction sites I'd worked on, as a labourer when I was young, and how often what I'd been doing was 'sweeping up'. And I thought about the liquor store I worked at in south Florida for those two horrible days that lasted for 12 months (the days it rained, and the days it didn't rain), and how every morning, 7 days a week, before I began my work as 'stock supervisor', I swept up the adjoining bar. And I thought about all the other jobs, during a long life, and how many of them had, at some point or another, involved cleaning things up. And I realized that I'd been sweeping up places for a fairly large chunk of my life. And that I'd never liked vacuum cleaners. "And I took my broom, and I swept clean the doors of perception, and I was swept from my feet by the perception that doors were just windows you can move through. And I swept aside all objections. I swept because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no BROOM!" It was...magical. It was lunch time, the sidewalks were crowded, and people were stepping around me! I stared straight ahead, occasionally bobbing my head during a significant bit of monologue. I was moving slowly, and still getting brushed by, here and there, but I'd moved into a bubble of weirdness that left me almost completely alone. People were avoiding eye-contact, and giving me what room they could. I'd started out mimicing the conversational, sing-song weirdness of the 'plague and wrath' guy for many blocks. But I was now breaking it up as time went by with exclamatory statements, little pseudo-parables, and occasional repetitive bits of gibberish. It was all good. I made my way over to Hennepin. I headed north on Hennepin, doing my rap. "A new broom sweeps clean, Clean, CLEAN. They told me that I'd be swept away, swept away, I told them I would sweep until all the tents of Israel were clean!" I'd worked it up, and now moved through the foot traffic in a slightly hunched over stance with my hands clenched slightly before me, like a man clasping some familiar and long remembered tool, or one dancing in madness with a spirit personified. At one point, two women stepped off the curb into the traffic lane to give me the sidewalk. And I wasn't within 2 feet of them! "Sweeping in, sweeping out! Sweeping in, sweeping out! For in the sweep of death, what dreams might come!" I was there, and I wasn't there. I was stalking down the sidewalk, surrounded by people. Most people acted like I wasn't there at all, except to give me a wide berth. Sometimes people who were walking together would say something to each other about me. I heard one guy say 'poor crazy bastard'. A woman said to her friend 'it's so sad that the State doesn't do anything to help them'. I felt a crazy giggle welling up. And then, in the middle of my best bit of quasi-Biblical 'sweeping' gibberish, I looked up and realized I'd been stalking forward for several yards, straight towards the 'plague and wrath' guy I'd followed before. I trailed off into a squeaky mutter. I fell into silence as I came up to him. He looked at me with this mad, glittery look, and smiled. "Straight & Tall wants to see your sorry ass over at the park by the Post Office", he said so quietly I almost didn't hear him. Then he swayed for a moment, staring blankly into space, and headed on down the sidewalk. "Plague will be visited on everyone, rich and powerful, poor and weak, the plague is coming, and all mankind will feel the wrath..." He started up as I stood there, shivering a bit with the shock of it all. Next: Seanachai Enters the Lion's Den, To Discover...What? [ May 27, 2003, 02:47 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Stuka: alms for a leper....alms for a leper? Crikey, it's me ol' banana-bending mate. Did you get released on good behaviour? Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Crazed rantings, and assorted ravings .... I believe this is how David Koresh got his start, next he'll be raving about being the Son of God or something....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Nidan1: Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr /> Crazed rantings, and assorted ravings .... I believe this is how David Koresh got his start, next he'll be raving about being the Son of God or something....... </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: It's 5:20 AM and I'm waiting for the shuttle so I can get to the airport so I can get to Denver in time to join a FOUR HOUR CONFERENCE CALL ... how wrong is that? Joe Couldn't happen to a nicer . . . err, I mean, I empathize. Really. Snigger. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1: Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr /> Crazed rantings, and assorted ravings .... I believe this is how David Koresh got his start, next he'll be raving about being the Son of God or something....... </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: It's 5:20 AM and I'm waiting for the shuttle so I can get to the airport so I can get to Denver in time to join a FOUR HOUR CONFERENCE CALL ... how wrong is that? JoeYou must also be one of the rich people who are going to benefit from Bush's tax cut. Living on the backs of working people, while you jet around the country, attending meetings designed to line your pockets, while the rest of us toil. Fat cats beware....your time is coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: (Seanachai goes slumming.) Err, that's...ummn...very nice Mr. Seanachai, but your paper was supposed to be on Richelieu's influence on the Hapsburg Dynasty during the Thirty Years War. And don't you think the Danskin is, perhaps, inappropriate for the classroom? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Well, actually chaps and chappettes I got released from that most nastiest of things...its called a marriage. What was I thinking....REALLY. I am FAR too handsome and dashing a young STUKA pilot to be lashed to just ONE young rear gunner when there is room in the old JU87 for at least three... Oh yes indeedly doodly, there is fire in the old Junkers Jumo 211 yet, and might I say.... things are looking mighty perky for your old unka Stukey at the 'mo. Now don't any of you steeenky olde ones (yes, I'm looking at you Seanachai ) be thinking your'e go'in to be gitt'in another ass woop'in at my hand. Sit Down!!( does anyone still say that anymore??) That Barbarossa to Berlin thingey was wear'in a little thin anyway... I like things to go 'splode! when you you shoot them just likea inna da movies ya know?? So fingas crossed for the Afffrika thingey hey? then yous'all see what the Aussies can do... an by crikey if them desert rats ain't modelled correctly...there'll be BTS guts spread all over your puny 15 inch monitors by lunchtime. Now...back to my internet porn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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