Joe Shaw Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Do they still let you in here?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Certainly, in addition to witty, chaming and sophisticated men such as myself, they've been know to let almost anyone in ... you're here aren't you? Speaking of that ... is this just another guest, cameo appearance or can we expect your scowling, Teutonic personage on a regular basis? We'e been neglecting the minefields and it'd be good to have advance notice. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 On to the cessy business of things: Lorak! I have a topplement to report, and it a well-fought one it was. DekeFentle has finally succumbed to my wave of invincible uber-zooks, who washed away his defenders like a tsunami hitting a child's sand castle (only with malice aforethought toward making the child cry). The fact that there were two turns at the end where we screwed up declaring the cease-fire and my men still had orders while his probably didn't has nothing to do with the final score, except that he should have 5 or 10 more and I should have 5 or 10 less. Which in no way diminishes that fact that the Whuppin' Boy is GAMEY, CHEATING BASTARD who bought not one, but TWO Hetzers, as well as numerous infantry, artillery and support weapons for his defense. Cripes, I might as well be playing on a feckin' tournament ladder. Scribe it so: Agua Perdido: Ringing triumph for the forces of Shelling Your Own Troops, Leading With 'Zooks and Having Good Haircuts. DekeFentle: Crushing defeat for the forces of No Particular Notice. By the numbers: Heroic Allied Defenders of Freedom (me)- 175 casualties (41 KIA) 6 Vehicles KO 332 Men OK Score: 73 Nasty, Smelly German Oppressors (him)- 163 casualties (48 KIA) 5 captured 2 guns KO 2 pillboxes KO 4 vehicles KO 70 Men OK Score: 27 Allied major victory Special commendations include an Order of Divine (with Polyester ribbon) for Cpl Peters, who single-handedly knocked out a German AT gun with his bazooka after killing one its crew in hand-to-hand combat, whereupon he captured the surviving crew; Orders of Rikki Lake (with Hairspray device) for Sgts Thomas and Jones, who knocked out German Pillboxes; and a Mink Stole for Cpl Bader, who also knocked out a German gun with his bazooka. Additionally, the entire task force has been cited as Feeling the Pain of Outlaw Cinema for its resolute advance against a tough defense. Further updates on other actions as soon as I get off my lazy ass (down, Mace!) and send some turns. Agua Perdido Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Wankers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Certainly, in addition to witty, chaming and sophisticated men such as myself, they've been know to let almost anyone in ... you're here aren't you? Speaking of that ... is this just another guest, cameo appearance or can we expect your scowling, Teutonic personage on a regular basis? We'e been neglecting the minefields and it'd be good to have advance notice. Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not that I owe you any explanation, but we are on page two now, so expect to see me in about 300 posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Hiram, our thoughts are with you Bro. Talk to you soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: ...we are on page two now, so expect to see me in about 300 posts. [smiley removed, ground up with a mortar and pestle and dissolved in concentrated sulphuric acid, which was thrown in the face of an SMG debate thread, which was then set on fire]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Page one wanker... Agua Perdido Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido: Page one wanker... Agua Perdido<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yawn... Oh yes, I seem to vaguely remember you. Aren't you one of the annoying dorks who appeared one day? Is that the best you can do? Obviously need to take your clues from Elvis (and we all know what that says about you). You must be getting along well with the other nitwits here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Hiram, You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juardis Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Hiram, don't know you or your situation, but your post sounded not good. A heartfelt prayer is all that I can offer. Regards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Nice thread title, especially because it will kick in the dry heaves for Juardis when he reads it. Sires Shaw and MrSpkr, a ”Arty Fest ‘45” update. I have the second company of German reinforcements surrounded by a ring of artillery fire, due in about 12 seconds. A few 60mm mortars and MGs have decided to join in the fun and help pin the Krauts square in the center of the pattern. This second company should soon be fleeing off the map much like the first. Now on my side of the river, Juardis has caught one platoon in a bad spot and is shelling them. The rest of his artillery is going wide all over the place. I have three companies moving into strong positions (minus the one platoon). With this many units he’s bound to hit something sooner or later. It will probably be later. MrSpkr, please have a few strong words with your Squire concerning his wee little alcohol problem. He’s sending some pathetic collage football score along with the game file. I could give a raggedy rats rear end about schoolboys playing in the mud with a misshapen ball. At least he could have sent pics of the cheerleaders. Those I do care about. Since it will soon be Friday evening, I will now be returning to my own GREAT BIG alcohol problem. No turns for anybody tonight. P.S. Good luck Hiram, I’ll knock back a good shot for ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: annoying dorks who appeared one day<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If it walks like a dork and quacks like a dork, it must be something fowl. Keep whining and I'll start writing space opera again. Agua Perdido Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido: If it walks like a dork and quacks like a dork, it must be something fowl. Keep whining and I'll start writing space opera again. Agua Perdido<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Be my guest - it's not like I would read it. Last time I checked they did not charge for use of band-with here. Your presence makes me consider recommending that to Steve though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Hiram bud, My thoughts are with you and family. g. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 I would like to read some good Space Opera! I once did a bit o' Cesspool Goes to Old Mars. Hiram, I only know you through our long-haired leaping gnome, but I wish you the best. Remember: laughter is the best medicine, and Bon Jovi is BAD medicine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars: MrSpkr, please have a few strong words with your Squire concerning his wee little alcohol problem. He’s sending some pathetic collage football score along with the game file. I could give a raggedy rats rear end about schoolboys playing in the mud with a misshapen ball. At least he could have sent pics of the cheerleaders. Those I do care about.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Alcohol problem? Did he run out of booze AGAIN? I warned the boy, 'there is no such thing as too much booze, laddy,' I said. 'Be sure to pack enough to replace the lot that filthy Lars will try to steal off ye' for his Friday evening debauchery' I says. 'Don't forget to send some to your sponsor,' I said, several times. But did he listen? Noooooo-ooo! Of course not. JUAR-DIS! OH, JUARRR--DISS! Oh, there you are. Got a little headache, I shouldn't wonder. Well, lad, frankly I hope the crashing BOOM of the artillery bounces that little marble you call a brain around inside your skull like a pinball in a '50's style malt shop. Oh, and be sure to keep pounding on Lars. Sounds like he needs it. As for the football, yes, I know, bloody Europeans have no appreciation for a real sport involving masculine prowess and athleticism. What's that? Yes, yes, I agree, that whole soccer thing is silly -- what's the point of having hands if you can't use them? Rugby is alright, but of course we've already donated blood this year, haven't we? Cricket is simply incomprehensible to anyone, even the English, although they're too stubborn to admit it. Yes, lad, you did well by evangelizing upon the merits of college football. Good show. Hrmm? Yes, I agree withholding the cheerleader pictures from Lars was probably a good idea. Bloody fool would probably just drool on his keyboard, then use that as an excuse for not returning his turn files. What's that? You say you have the pictures here? Let me just see those . . . mmhmm . . . hmmm . . . how in the world . . . goodness . . .oh my . . . er, ahem, um, I think it is best that I keep these for 'evidence' in the event there is a trial. What charges, you say? Don't you worry your little brain about that, squire, just go back out there and kill something. Yes, Lars will do. Carry on then. [ 09-07-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Hiram Whatever the outcome, our thoughts, prayers and support are for you and your family. Anytime, feel free to call jd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Be my guest - it's not like I would read it. Last time I checked they did not charge for use of band-with here. Your presence makes me consider recommending that to Steve though.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Weren't you just leaving? Don't let us keep you ... bye ... bubye ... so long ... thanks for flying CessPool Air ... bubye ... goodbye ... bye now. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Bah... Germanboy spreading filth about how England and her toadies won the war. Some facts: Fact Churchill was born in a ladies bathroom while his mom was at a dance. Fact In England the speaker of the house isn't suppose to speak. Fact Look at a canadian 2 dollar bill. See the flag on the parlament building? Notice it is american? I am keeping my eyes open for them aussies too... right now other than allowing Mace and stuka to live there I am at a loss. Mike... will continue to keep your family in prayers. Lorak the loathed Paladin of Peng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Cancer is Gamey MikePhan, don't even think of it!! Best of luck to you and all of those caring for you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: I would like to read some ... Space Opera!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> There you have it, kids. Blame Panzer Leader. [*PHSSST*] [shot of wood plank, over which CHEESY ANNOUNCER speaks] CA: In Japan, the hand can split wood... [Hand whizzes through frame, breaking board in two.] KARATE GUY (offscreen): Hiii-yaa! CA: But even in 2001, it still can't penetrate 100mm of RHA at 10 degrees slope... [Cut to: Tiger I glacis. Hand whizzes through frame, impacting glacis with painful-sounding crunch] KARATE GUY (offscreen): Hii-yaaaouUCH! Mother fu-- [*PHSSST*] [Camera pans across platoon of unemployed stenographers in bikinis holding MP44s as CHEESY (BUT SULTRY) ANNOUNCER speaks] C(BS)A: We've get a whole squad armed with nothing with automatics, and we're dying to talk to you about how gamey it is... dial 976-GROG... [*PHSSST*] OTHER CHEESY ANNOUNCER: We now return to Grogs... innnn.... Spaaaaaaacccee! [setting: Space. A starship floats against a background of grainy footage of PzIIIs clashing with Polish infantry. The History Channel logo is still visible in the lower-right corner.] [Cut to: Bridge of starship. The CAPTAIN GUY is sitting in his command chair watching the History Channel footage and muttering at the barely-audible HISTORY CHANNEL NARRATOR as he reassembles an M-1 Garand. ENSIGN NYE (THE SCIENCE GUY) is at his station, loading stripper clips for a Lee-Enfield.] HCN: ...German forces attacking Bastogne... American resistance... "Nuts!" CG: Hmph. Idiot. That footage is clearly the German Ardennes assault in 1940! EN(TSG): Actually, sir, if you note the number of road wheels on those PzIIIs and the shape of the helmets of the defenders, they're obviously-- CG: Shut up! Did I ask you? Finish loading those stripper clips so we can settle the Garand-vs-Enfield debate once and for all. EN(TSG): Aye, sir. [CAPTAIN GUY shoves a clip into his now-assembled M-1, and the bolt slams shut on his thumb.] CG (M-1 hanging from thumb): YEEEOUCCHH! EN(TSG): Is that one for the Lee-Enfield, sir? CG (extricating thumb from action): Shut up! What's our current location? And get me some Bactine! EN(TSG): We're currently patrolling the Peng Sector, which has relocated to the Russian Dissident Author Nebula. CG: Well, I hope we don't have a run-in with the Solzhenitsynians--they're gassier than Jupiter and Joe Shaw put together. EN(TSG): Roger that, sir. CG: Dammit, Ensign! Open a channel to Bauhaus system and transmit, "He meant, 'I understand,' not that other thing." EN(TSG): Aye, sir. CG (sucking on injured thumb): Whubs uh sbass? EN(TSG): With all due respect, sir, your OGSF impression isn't getting any better. CG (wrapping tape around thumb): Dammit, what's our status, Ensign Wisenheimer. EN(TSG): After our defeat of the Fentlons, the Goannans are still resisting in the gamey night snow battle the "random" weather spat out. CG: Good thing we took all SMG squads. EN(TSG): Aye, sir. We may even have a few left. We're at the halfway mark and have almost flushed out all his forces. CG: Speaking of flushing, what about stevetherat? EN(TSG): A gamey bastard, sir, who's still using infantry and armor operating together with light vehicles to scout. CG (shaking head): It's only a matter of time until he uses arty, too, I bet. What a sandbagger. At least his MG jeeps are all dead. EN(TSG): I think they were armored cars, sir, and some of the crews might still be alive. CG: Whatever. Joe Shaw? EN(TSG): Berli's scenario is a tough one, sir. Joe's made progress but taken some losses. I can't tell how this one's going to turn out. CG: And Croda? EN(TSG): A brainless prat, sir. CG: Very well. Set course for-- [*PHSSST*] [The bikini-clad stenographers are now draped suggestively around a "hull down" (if you know what I mean, and I think you do) PzIVJ.] C(BS)A: --that's 976-GROG! Call now! [fade to black] Agua Perdido Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madmatt Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Well, so much for "WAITING FOR ME TO APPROVE YOUR SLACK ASSED TITLE!!!" Okay, fine, you can keep this one! But you dmaned well better feed it and take care of it! It's your responsibility and I don't want to have to pick up after it all the time. Madmatt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juardis Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: JUAR-DIS! OH, JUARRR--DISS! [ 09-07-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Please my liege, not so loud. Yes, I'm guilty of imbibing in great quantities of mead to celebrate the glorious cheerleaders of NC State. I withheld the pictures of the inflatable sheep though. Just couldn't keep the chunky bits down. I think I sent Lars a turn last night, but I cannot really be sure. He blabbers much today though, so perhaps I did. And if I did, I no doubt crushed his will to defecate, let alone pontificate. An update on ArtyFest 45 you say? Yes, yes, sorry. There is a copse of woods on fire on my side, and perhaps a building destroyed. Not to worry though, I was nowhere near them. I was under the falling volkswagons. A company of mine is routed (per my design - reference the rope-a-dope plan in the previous thread) but they will soon recover when I show them the pictures of the sheep. He on the other hand, oh He is floundering about like a walleye out of water with those big fish eyes staring blankly back at nothing. That can only tell me that my 300mm rockets are having a most desirable effect on his daily constitution. I destroyed one of his buildings but no one was in it. Nothing is on fire, no flaming Richard Pryor's to speak of - yet. But through the mead induced haze of last night I seem to remember big holes appearing on his side of the river near where a company of his was having a picnic. Again, cannot be sure, but I hope to relive the glory in a more sobering state. Now then, where did I leave that bottle of tylenol... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Madmatt: Well, so much for "WAITING FOR ME TO APPROVE YOUR SLACK ASSED TITLE!!!"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now the Bald One might add that some French came up with a title sporting both wit and a sheer depth of cultural knowledge. Said title was then MAILED to a guy wearing a wealth of padlocks around his neck like some UBBian MrT waiting for both his feedback and acknowledgement. Of course, it's not the first time I've been peeved by Swedes lately... The blame is on your Household Geier!! I challenge you to a game of Train Simulator where the last man awake is the winner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: Cancer is Gamey MikePhan, don't even think of it!! Best of luck to you and all of those caring for you...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Does Hiram have the Big C? Or is it his cat? Someone fill me in here. I am way too lazy to go back and read all your crap to find out. BTW, the Big C is very gamey and I suggest, Hiram, you avoid it at all costs. Good luck and I hope your sister gets well, Jeff [ 09-07-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Hiram Sedai Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 [ 09-07-2001: Message edited by: Hiram's Ghost ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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