It Was the Best of PENG CHALLENGES, It Was the Worst of PENG CHALLENGES

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Btw, Lorak, why isn't the A.I. a Knight?

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Because then we'd need a double asterisk or some such other symbol to signify losing to it, like when I get all cocky (don't bother) and drive my King Tiger into an AI bazooka crossfire in a really teeny QB.

Ahem.

SSNs abound

clueless they astound me so

O the cesspool weeps

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Btw, Lorak, why isn't the A.I. a Knight?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Because it doesn't gloat when it wins or make excuses when it loses. It never shows up in the pool to challenge anyone, and it doesn't post mid-game reports of how much its opponents suck.

I demand a taunt AI in CM2:BB!! BTS Please fix or do somefink!!!

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by chrisl:

Because it doesn't gloat when it wins or make excuses when it loses. It never shows up in the pool to challenge anyone, and it doesn't post mid-game reports of how much its opponents suck.

I demand a taunt AI in CM2:BB!! BTS Please fix or do somefink!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And during the next 200 years, it will become sentient, experience the joys of life, and wish to be a human being!

And when it gets to the end of it's long journey, it will look it's opponent in the eye, after wining a game of CM901230 (Hyper reality edition), and say

Hehe, that is the worst gamey play I've ever seen...you suck bad, you were no challenge at all, must SUCK to be you!!!

WOOT!!!!!

Then, maybe, it will be a Kinniggit of the MBT

Mace

[Dweezil44]

So this is what happens when you let Mouse (he isn't good enough to be called Sancho yet, despite what Seanachai appears to have smoked) hosts a thread? A mediocre title, half of the knights refusing to post here, and Mouse in a tizzy because Mr Mouth used seven or eight posts to call him a git instead of just one.

Jeez, Mouse, you whine so much, I'm surprised you don't have to wear cotton inserts and pads once a month. May be you do, I don't actually know (and DO NOT want to).

From your behavior here, it looks like your life's ambition was to make the first post of a Cesspool thread. So, you were in position to propose killing the old thread, and then jump right in and con Madmatt (who really should pay more attention - I know he is working on CM:BB and everything, but REALLY - this place used to have SOME standards) into blessing this thread.

Then, if someone comes along and posts something you think is a waste of space (amusing, given the general tenor of your posts), you throw a fit like the eleven year old girl you accuse your oppressor of being. I mean, Mr Mouth is a useless git at times (okay, generally more often than not), but you cry and whine so much that I am just SURE you are trying to find a way to get Mommy to come in here to protect you.

Stupid git - you're of no bloody use at all. It's people like you that made me finally adopt this sig.

[CMplayer]

refreshing all day

not a message, not a turn

my heart's in limbo

picked up an IP

depped enough to bag a hag

treeburst one-five-fives

what's the point of play

ing five games at a time if

no one sends a file

outerboard exile

as I pine in the tall pines

my canucks weeping

SOMEONE PLEASE SEND A TURN!!!!!!

[ 08-12-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>CMplayer wrote:

not a message, not a turn<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Evidently the gits all have some kind of life, or at least a nagging SO that doesn't let them sit in front of the computer at weekends. Let's see what happens when their bosses work out that they've spent the past working year on the CM forums. Recession m'dears, you'll have to start pulling your weight, or it's out the door with you...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Colonel_Deadmarsh wrote:

Actually, this whole thread has made me realize that I don't really know the game that well<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

In other news, Gerry Adams, leader of Sinn Fein, announced that the IRA would surrender its weapons unconditionally, with immediate effect. Mr Adams commented "Oi soodenly realoised that t' oi-RA is moid up of nuttin' but teenage boys wit' nut'in better t'do than shoot people an' blow stoof up. We've joost been arguin' for t'sake of arguin' fer t'past few decades an' oi realoised that we really should stop bein' so choildish an' start workin' t'make Ireland a peaceful an' democratic coontry." A leading political analyst commented "Blimey! Did god find a stash of mislaid brains?"

[Lorak]

Edited because unlike some, I will wipe my feet before I come in.

[ 08-12-2001: Message edited by: Lorak ]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Sigh... I hate fricking politics. Especially when brought to the MBT.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well I could see THAT coming ... look guys, let's just acknowledge that if the problem in Northern Ireland (or the Middle East, or the American South or ...) was EASY it would have been solved years ago. These things are NEVER easy and are all rooted in centuries of issues that continue to this day. Let's just ... let it drop when it comes to the CessPool.

Joe

[Lorak]

edited because the MBT didn't need this one either.

[ 08-12-2001: Message edited by: Lorak ]

[dalem]

Hey cool. I can think of no faster way to get the mighty Madmatt to kick our collective booties into the Outerboards than to start lobbing sociopolitical bombshells back and forth, followed by a stream of "I'm sorry but I'm not sorry" posts.

So c'mon guys, do it in email, hmmmm?

And for the REAL news:

chrisl: His Green troops are getting bullets flung at them by my Green troops. I predict a stunning victory on my behalf that will be so stunning as to stun those who are then, as yet, currently un-stunned.

Terence: Some Rune ME. I was shocked to see that the Germans I'm facing have a Tiger I. I mean shocked. I hardly ever see PzVIEs coming at me from the other side of the map, so it's just so.... clever. ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

Panzer Leader/Sancho: Far and away the most creative start to a scenario I've seen yet - my hat is off to Berli or Peng or Rune or whoever the hell it was who whistled up this little snippet. I'm not even sure that all of the above persons aren't actually the same person.

Anyway I predict the same ending as with the chrisl game update above. Just replace chrisl with Panzer Leader and 'Green' with 'Regular', and the part where bullets are being flung technically only really applies to one side right now, and it's not mine (that is, the side that is doing all the flinging is his (Panzer Leader's, not chrisl's), not mine - I'm solely the flingee up to now.

Speedbump: Real Life has lassoed him and trussed him up real good. I've heard of Real Life but hope to never have to pay attention to it.

Lawyer: Off drinking steinsfull of Belgian barmaids, so our weird "circle the wagons and fire AP at them" scenario is on hiatus.

OGSF: His lilting Icelandic accent has fooled me into believing I was going win before, so I'll not call this one until Yogi mentions the fat lady.

MrSpkr: Continues to demonstrate how a few wise trades and some good luck with colony placement have allowed him to race far ahead of me on the technology tree. While my lads are still struggling with femur bones and sharp pieces of bark, he has clearly mastered not only the Death Ray and Inviso Shield, but also Flame Retardent Armor +5, Intravenous Morale Booster, and Mud Skimming.

I hate him for that.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

b]Panzer Leader/Sancho: Far and away the most creative start to a scenario I've seen yet - my hat is off to Berli or Peng or Rune or whoever the hell it was who whistled up this little snippet. I'm not even sure that all of the above persons aren't actually the same person.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Would you care to elaborate as to this creative beginning?

[Seanachai]

Who's for a jolly sing-song, then?

I took back my hand and I showed him the door

No dollar of mine would I part with this day

For fueling the engine of bloody cruel war

In my forefather's home far away.

Who fled the first Famine wearing all that they owned,

Were called 'Navigators', all ragged and torn,

And built the Grand Trunk here, and found a new home

Wherever their children were born.

Their sons have no politics. None can recall

Allegiance from long generations before.

O'this or O'that name can't matter at all

Or be cause enough for to war.

And meanwhile my babies are safe in their home,

Unlike their pale cousins who cower and cry

While kneecappers nail their poor Dads to the floor

And teach them to hate and to die.

It's those cruel beggars who spurn the fair coin.

The peace for their kids they could take at their will.

Since the day old King Billy prevailed at the Boyne,

They've bombed and they've maimed and they've killed.

Now they cry out for money and wail at the door

But Home Rule or Republic, 'tis all of it shame;

And a curse for us here who want nothing of war.

We're kindred in nothing but name.

All rights and all wrongs have long since blown away,

For causes are ashes where children lie slain.

Yet the damned U.D.L and the cruel I.R.A.

Will tomorrow go murdering again.

But no penny of mine will I add to the fray.

"Remember the Boyne!" they will cry out in vain,

For I've given my heart to the place I was born

And forgiven the whole House of Orange

King Billy and the whole House of Orange.

-Stan Rogers

Written by a Canadian, posted by an American, and if it seems a little more like a slap at one side than the other, remember that the Orangemen don't raise money in the New World, as they don't need to. The UDL and their lot have all the funding they need right at home.

Peace is peace. Mockery, anger, and intolerant stupidity...well, we've had plenty of that for several hundred years, now haven't we? Give it a rest, and let's think about the children, rather than acting like spoiled ones.

[ 08-12-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Would you care to elaborate as to this creative beginning?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, it's 10 turns long and starts off with my U.S. jeep getting worked over by some sort of Germanic Evil that I believe includes a sharpshooter.

Seems like it'll be fun.

[jd]

Some people wonder about squires well I suppose we all do, but there are moments that bring a tear to our old kniggit eyes (usually pungnt onions) such as when a former squire demonstrates the character, quality and verve that we, their leiges seek to impart. Such a moment has occurred in my match with my former squire Iskander He has pulled a gamey bastard move that is worthy of being a lawyer. A moment of bliss when we feeel the shiv run home between our ribs, and all we can mutter as der Tod's dim shades claims our sight "Et tu..?"

In the last turns of our game, I have a Tiger on a hilltop, dominating the terrain. At leisure he has been destroying all sent against him., he rains metallic death on hapless GI's, buildings shudder and collaspe when the crosshairs rest upon the sill.....

So my former squire has sent forth the lone bazooka rush from 2000m's away to distract him from the assigned destruction.Like some Pythonesque charge across feild after fetid field, the 'zook man knows no fear. He can't even get close, yet my tank ignores targeting orders to make him dance.

So my hat's off to you ya gamey bastiche.....*sniff* I am so proud! Raise another glass.....

[ 08-12-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[Mark IV]

The appropriate countermeasure is to pile your other tank crews into a Kubelwagen and charge the 'zook firing pistols wildly. Normally I would post this to the tips and tricks department, but it sounds like you need help. We are here for you.

[Chupacabra]

Alright you Pengy bastards. Remember me? Yep, that's right, it's your old Chuppy pal. Look close you lot, because you're not likely to see another post from me before Jesus comes down from the clouds and proclaims Benny Manieri the Saviour.

Right then. How many of you feeble little simpletons live in Europe? If anyone's interested in having a drink with the one, the only...well, me...in October-ish, drop me an email. The address is in my profile. Yadda yadda, bling bling, sort it.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Well, it's 10 turns long and starts off with my U.S. jeep getting worked over by some sort of Germanic Evil that I believe includes a sharpshooter.

Seems like it'll be fun.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That would be 'Military Intelligence' by your's truly. Available at your nearest Der Kessel website for the nominal fee of your soul

[Speedy]

*Looks to the heavens in fear*

[Panzer Leader]

Okay, I've been off the net for the weekend, but when I came back, I noticed somethin...strange...

You know how you might stay in a room for a while, then step out for a minute (such as to burn one) and then you come back and notice the room stinks? While you were there you must have gotten used to it or something, but being away for even a few minutes made you aware of something that has been there all along.

Well, a similar thing happened here on this very message-board. I came back to find that all was not well, that indeed, there was something rotten in Denmark. Now I am not speaking SOLELY of the MBT, though that is definitely involved, but I mean this ENTIRE community.

I also do not know the nature of the problem. It could be magic (eh, Seanachai?) or it could be an insidious virus, but it seems that EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THIS MESSAGE-BOARD COMMUNITY HAS BEEN TRANSMOGRIFIED INTO AN 70 YEAR OLD NATTY HAG!!!

Omigod, the whining, the insinuations, the back-stabbing and simpering. We are like the worst, most awful sewing circle ever envisioned. Gone are the people of moral virtue (Dave Aitkin drove them out.) Gone are the people of innocent optimism (Mrspkr heckled them into oblivion). Gone are all vestiges of virtue and upstanding manliness and ladylike valor ( I blame Stalins Organ for this, randomly) and the community is left licking its wounds and spitting in the hurts of its fellows.

It is a sad, sad affair. I would say I'm leaving for ever, but that has been so OVERDONE lately. I guess I will just watch and cringe.

Oh, Berli I have a mini-battle I worked up. Could I shoot it your way?

Ah yes, finally, about the horrors of me, a mere squire making an impostor thread: Although there is plenty of precedent for squires making a thread, and I would cite examples if the search engine was working, I do not want to cause this unsightly schism from disrupting our litle community of festering sores and dirty underpants, so please, please, someone else call for an early end to this, my humble attempt at showing my devotion to the MBT by giving back something. I name Mrspkr to be the creator, since he has led the pack against this one, like Jerry Falwell at an anti-abortion rally. In fact, let's let the GIT start them all now. I think it would truly make him happy, and that's what we're here for, non?

Although, I DO think I happen to have the BEST EVER title. Pleae, Mrspkr use it at your discretion:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Is That a PENG CHALLENGE in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[ 08-12-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

[dalem]

5) PL: Calm yourself - this thread has not yet begun to age into its true potential and you are already thinking of the next one. And phooey on the Outerboards - they are rife with the likes of Username, suitable only for the occasional bit of attention that you would grant Springer or Jenny Jones - a quick glance while surfing to assure ourselves that we all have someone lower than ourselves to point and laugh at.

And by the way, you're about to Die A Lot real soon.

O Mighty Lorak! My bitter loss to the Icelandic OGSF has been stoutly avenged. Please carve into your tablet runes to the effect of Dalem: Crushing Victory (you didn't know they had those, didya?), OGSF: Sand-Pounding Defeat.

[BFCElvis]

I played 'Military Intelligence' against the AI today (something I haven't don in a very long time) and found it to be good clean fun. Loads of laughs for the kids. I have just downloaded Trun for TCP/IP play with Peng whenever he decides to show up. This idea og making small TCP/IP scenarios is a ripping good idea. I plan on keeping my eyes open for each new installment.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Oh, Berli I have a mini-battle I worked up. Could I shoot it your way?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Do you intend to send it to me so I can laugh at your pathetic attempt at scenario design, or as a submission to Der Kessel? Either way, I am game

[Joe Shaw]

All right, enough's enough ya bunch of maroons. The next jerk that forwards a bogus ICQ message to me gets it right between the eyes. I refer you gullible clowns to :ICQ - The TRUTH Is Out There The facts are very simple, much like Mace and Berli who BOTH forwarded a bogus message to me, ICQ will NOT be asking everyone to forward anything to everyone on their list, this is just another in a LONG line of jerks who thinks it's funny to get everyone to clog up the system with bogus messages. The FIRST CLUE that this was bogus MIGHT have been that the link they gave ... WAS BAD! The SECOND CLUE might be common sense, but in the case of Mace] and Berli I guess we can eliminate THAT. If you forward a message to everyone on your list, they will get the message to forward it to everyone on THEIR list and, hello, that includes YOU!

Knock It Off, Damnit!

Thank you for your attention to this detail.

Joe

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Internet fear-mongering.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Since I work for one of the overarching giganto internet backbone providers, I must ask everyone to please ignore the paranoid ramblings of the dubious Joe Shaw. Clearly, the more silly crap that people wing back and forth across the creaking telephone circuitry infrastructure that is the Internet, the greater the load, and the greater the need for more circuits for your ISPs.

In the end that means more moolah for yours truly.

I think we can all agree that more money in my pocket is good for everyone that I care about, which pretty much adds up to me and my dog, so by all means keep that spam rolling!

"But Dale," you cry, "won't there be a lag between the increased load and the buildout, so that our porn downloads will slow down?"

Well, yes, that will happen, but with the extra money I will have, I can buy my porn from more tradional and respectable sources, like back alley Swedish bookstores and truckstops.

So punch the E-monkey and keep the internet rolling, yeee-HAAAA!!!!

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>"But Dale," you cry, "won't there be a lag between the increased load and the buildout, so that our porn downloads will slow down?"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> To alleviate THAT tragedy, allow me to continue a CessPool tradition that has been sadly neglected of late, that's right, it's time for WWW.HOTMORMONBABES.COM and their BABE O' THE MONTH ...

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Might want to be sure the wife and kids are out of the room first!

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This one is REALLY something!

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Joe

[ 08-13-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]