Peng just challenged my newborn son andwill still lose

[Panzer Leader]

I respectfully bow out of any further bickering about who should and who should not be nominated. It has left a bad taste in my mouth. Let the chest thumping australopithecine do it if it will make him feel accomplished. Perhaps it will also make him go back to lurk mode.

Honestly, I am disappointed in the lack of following through what jdmorse pointed out: He who wants it most should never get it.

Give the car keys to the boy if he promises to drive safely. After all, what could go wrong, eh?

Feh.

[Roborat]

We don't we drag Meeks out from wherever he is hiding and inflict him on the tournament. It would collapse inside a month. He should be available, didn't harpooner say Meeks had retrieved his computer.

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by boy_Recon:

Since I began contributing, "the cess" moved fractionally towards fragrancy. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Only if you call odeur de buttpipe a fragrance, boyscout.

[ 06-13-2001: Message edited by: dalem ]

[Stalin's Organ]

Amazing how much ...er....let's call it debate.... has gone into who is going to "represent" peng in an outerboard tourney! As if anyone could!!

What has peng come to when mere baubles and vino will make y'all actually competitive, and want to win, and all that stuff!

Are you slimeballs trying to be competitive or something? Trying to figure out who is the best of peng?? Isn't that an oxymoron...with emphasis on the MORON! The glee and unseemly haste with which everyone is volunteering themselves to play in a competition is quite disturbing!

If you want to join the real world then just say so and sod off - no need to drag us all into some sort of rational discussion or vote or rankings or anything else so revolting!

Next some one is probably going to suggest a peng tourney or somesuch - good grief, and all this from the so-called kay-nig-hits and other old and disgusting members who should know better.

There - you've all just been told off by a spokesgit - you should all be ashamed of yourselves!

[ 06-13-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by boy_Recon:

that could even be "illiteracy".

i'll get me coat.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bloody hell! Another Pom!

Mace

[Stuka]

*Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........*

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by boy_Recon:

that could even be "illiteracy".

i'll get me coat.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Aye, tha' were a good un', Roy_Bacon. Or should Ah sae..

BRILLIANT!!!!

Noo, wid ye quietly have a wee ****e an' fall back ain at. Tha's tha way...

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

[MrPeng]

Alrighty then!

Seems like we have a bit of a quandry here Gentleworms (and Panties). And since this is MY thread, and we are gathering to decide whom shall represent Peng the Pod in the outre lands, I get three votes and Berli and MrSenileTea get only one each. So I win, My decision will be final and whoever I say goes, unless of course there is disagreement and then we start the counting all over again (no I do not live in florida by my old man migrated there after the Mexicans kicked him out and ...)anyway, Here are my thoughts on the matter:

My first choice, Hiram would have been our best bet: He is full of piss and vinegar despite his typically cheerful, eager to please outer croda, his inner croda is is like a batch of homebrew gone sour. And His gameplay, well, It would express in no uncertain terms to those groggy oh so serious swine out there just what we think about w's and l's. but alas, he is unable to help us as he is needed elsewhere (and our thoughts are with him there).

Another viable choice is of course Shandorf but as has been pointed out, he really wantsthe job and so is entirely unsuitable for it. He is also nearly as humorless as a grog (simmer down! I said "nearly")so when the fur flies and the blood flows and the going gets weird we cannot at all rely on him to slap someone with a freshly gutted pickeral or even the ol pie in face routine. No, Shagdorf, while a formidible CMer, can only thump his chest & grunt "me good - you suck" when it comes to berating his opponent at the climactic moment.

MrIV?

He seems to have it all: A good record, no interest in the task at hand, he is well read and well written, and can flog a man senseless with a well turned phrase or two, but well, he lacks a certain grubby pooliness - he's jsut a bit too erudite, too polished and too urbane to represent a lot of filthy bastards. Face it MrIV, you are only a weekend filthy bastard, not full time.

This brings us to Geier.He and his associates at The Old Firm could certainly take care of some rotten boring grogs both in a CM fight and with his rapier like wit. the only problem is that he is a foreigner, Not a grasey foreigner with smelly cooking, coming as he does from the northlands and all, but foreign nonetheless. This will never do.

That takes care of Mace and Stuka, our antipodean pals. Again, they are not the greasey type of foreigner, but the water goes down the potty the wrong way around when they flush and that just freaks me out.

The foriegn bug also eliminates the Magnificent Mad Modding FROG, PawBroon, which is a shame really, because I do love his posts and his Emma (OH! what a giveaway!), but he does not pass the residency test.

Elvis! ah yes, Elvis. he can certainly kick some arse, but he is sorely lacking in the wit department. His ritual "Wankers" post is about all we can expect anymore, and now that he is a new daddy, he will of course forget all about his old pals in the 'pool. So screw him the rat bastard.

That kind of runs us out of candidates, with the excpetion of one.

This fellah has it all:

the CD with CM on it,

A 'pool pedigree,

soon to be a Loss to Peng,

wit,

charm,

amd a liver the size of Cincinatti!

This guy has booze for blood and drinks moonshine to chase the scotch down. Here he is, The one the only the drunkenest bastard still standing, ISKANDER woooohoooo!

No?

ah well, it was worth a shot

Peng

[Panzer Leader]

I bow down before the omnipotent wisdom of the One True Peng. He IS the Holy Spigot.

[OGSF]

Ah think Af'n tha Ooter-bored laddies wanna 'Pooler sae bleedin' much, we oughta get a wee bottle o' plonk fer tha trouble o' belchin' one oop. Ah widnae fit fer tha 'Pool mahsailf - ye a collective weepin' scab ain a hippo's sphincter. Baseeds, nae offence tae tha weel Sooth African laddie, but tha "Sith Efrikaan plonk" as nae oop tae tha standard o' a wee dram o' Gnangarra Shiraz, or Jacob's Bloody Creek.

Ah think af'n Hiram as nae oop fer tha jobby, at should bae Meeks. We are nae aboot winnin', but tauntin' tha crap oot o' the other bugger. Meeks might win, tha might no', but they'll cause wee havoc wi' tha torney - an' tha's wha' tha 'Pool as fer. Ah didnae care aboot who wuns or loses tha stankin' thang - boot how amusin' at as tae watch.

*poot*

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

[BilgeRat]

Aaaarrgh!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Quam se ipse amans- sine rivali!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Stalin's Organ]

It suites you slime rodent.

After all, no one else does....amybe excepting th' Cappin', but then only when you've got the soap in the shower!

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BilgeRat:

Aaaarrgh!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And where did a bulging brat pick up Latin, let alone a quote by Cicero?

I say unto you, "Quo usque tandem abutere, BulgingBratae, patientia nostra?"

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

That takes care of Mace and Stuka, our antipodean pals.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Like I'd want the stink'in job anyway!

It's bad enough playing feck'in "poolers with breath like anchovey conserve that I would even consider playing in some....some... Ugh, I can barely spit out the words.... some G r og love fest.

I'd rather put a size 11 Doc Martin through my own temple and poke my eyes out with the laces.

Tell the outboarders to stick their tourney where Bauhaus's fear to venture.

I don't need it, you don't need it.

Just ignore it.

Woot!

[Guest Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BilgeRat:

Quam se ipse amans- sine rivali!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Me so hooownie. Me love you long time.

[Stalin's Organ]

Origianally bleated by Baaaaaabra:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Me so hooownie. Me love you long time.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

My Latin may be crappier than your Latin - but at least it's funny!

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Shandorf]

Dammit! So close! Peng you are in trouble buddy boy! Prepare for setup to soon come your way! It is the only way I know how to punish you...

And to think, I was going to donate my spoils to the lovely, wait... slime cover festoons of the pool. You know who you are...

So be it then but I swear a blood hamster on all of you who opposed me. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not next week. Maybe not not, hell, ever! But I will have my revenge. Oh yes, I will...

Muhahahahahahahahahaaha..ack! *cough* *sputter* *gag*

Besides, if I would have come in here all dopey eyed like some sicken Oliver Twist whimpering, "Please, sir. May I have a nomination." You would of all turned on my like ravenous pack of merkats.

Now Die A Lot,

Jeff

[WineCape]

Dear Gentleman and not so Gentleman,

Would it make your nomination task easier if we could get not one, but *TWO* nominations from the cesspool for the PBEM Invitational Tourney of "Stars"?

Just let Treeburst155 know. I have not discussed it with him (have no time as I am boarding a plane in 2 hours) that it will be OK I guess to allow 2 cesspoolers on the Invitational instead of 1. But hurry up, as the invitation return deadline is closing soon.

Regards,

Charl Theron

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by WineCape:

Would it make your nomination task easier if we could get not one, but *TWO* nominations from the cesspool for the PBEM Invitational Tourney of "Stars"?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ha ha ha ha .......HA HA HA HA HA, he he he he he he......would it make it....oh ho ho ho ho ho.....Ha ha hah .....EASIER??!!!

ROFLMAO!!

Purgamentum init, exit purgamentum.

[Mace]

As one of the older Kinnigets here (as in age, you lot of dufi* - I reckon I must be in the upper 25 percentile), let me offer some of my wisdom about this quandry about who to represent the pool:

Who f*cking cares?!!

It's like a group of old ladies arguing over the last scone, and as animated as two deceased people having sex! Sheesh!

If someone is stupid, imbecilic, moronic and idiotic enough to volunteer, give em the job for f*ck sake! We can always berate and belittle him if he loses (hell, we can do that anyway).

My 2 bob's worth.

Mace

* One dufus, many dufi.

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Alrighty then! *snip*

ISKANDER woooohoooo!

No?

Peng<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That post of yours, which started very thin at one end, got much, much thicker in the middle, suddenly got then again at the far end. And, most impotent of all, you answered the question already.

While I freely confess my sins to you, Oh Great Confessor Peng of playing about with those from the OuterBoard now and again -- and I'd like to take a moment to formally distance myself from Beria'sBlowpipe; I told him not to follow me back in here -- the notion of being out in the open in a tourney is too much like rolling the Freedom of Infomation Act up into a tube and douching with some Sunshine Laws. Such is obviously much more up the alleys *ahem* of either Bauhaus or Speedy (he is a professional, after all). So to wrap up, well, I cant as I've mis-placed my original point....

I proposed that we treat whomever goes and plays in this Tourney as doing so without the imprimatur of the Holy Mother Thread and thus shun them like we would a Belgian.

[Mark IV]

Once again, I tune in (with considerable personal difficulty) from the wilds of northern San Diego to find only injustice.

In one short absence I have been nominated, run, impeached, accused, and convicted. I have lived an entire two-term Presidency in 24 hours, without even a pudgy intern to pass the time.

I stand accused of "erudition" and urbanity with minors. Of the first, to twist the mot, every club that has had me as a member has been sorry. I wandered off from college never to return, the Army and the Bundesrepublik are still looking for some of their things, and my company exiled me to Fresno. Regarding the urbanity charges, I again point to Fresno. No one with this fashionable area code has ever been convicted of urbanity, sir.

I have also lost several games to foreigners (not the greasy kind, though), plus one to OSFG who passes for foreign in my book. Therefore, I do not meet the tactical requirements for this prestigious appointment.

But the damage is done, my reputation destroyed. Therefore I second Iskander's nomination, third Shandorf's, additionally nominate Geier, condemn the usual suspects, and despise the rest of you lot.

I don't know why you all wouldn't pick Berli, who seems the obvious choice.

R U stoopid or somefink?

Hope this clears things up.

[Panzer Leader]

Whan that Aprille with its shoores sotte

Whan the droughte of Marche hath paersed to the rotte

And bathed every veine in swiche liqueur

Lemme see, I guess I'll give a few updates on my current games:

Berli -- This guy sends me a game where the map is full, and I mean FULL of nothing but trees, rocks, and hills, with one crooked road winding its way happily past the objectives. Hmm, should I take my armour up that road towards the objectives? Sure! Three husks later my men valiantly storm towards a small building surrounded on three sides by barbed wire, mines, and roadblocks. Basically, I am beating my heart against some mad buggers wall. And he giggles like a little girl when one of my units perishes. Like it had a choice~!

Mrspkr, my Arch-rival, (due mostly for his insipidity, but also due to his mean-spireted, witless harangues) took up my challenge to play one of Dame Achin's wet dreams. Then he promptly asked me to send him the scenario -- no doubt to cheat, the gamey bastid. Oh yeah, I also hate the {sic} thing.

Speedbump challenged me yesterday, but it was so weak, so lame, it sounded like his mouth was full of mountain oysters at the time, so I am letting that mini-rant slip into the past unheeded.

Dame Achin' in the true British way, throws vast amounts of men and material at my tawdry static defense line. I pick his forces off with great delight, but also with a profound sens of Why?

Some dude from Germany, I think he goes by Pablum trudges through the snow through my barrage of Flak guns. He dies alot, but in the German way, it doesn't phase him.

Some guy who likes chickens is also dying alot against my Germans in Valley of Trouble 2. He had a chance there, but as soon as his remaining tanks (and there is a FIELD of burning boxes out there) decided the HMG was a much juicier target than the hull down Crack Panther, well, he is now in full flight to the rear. He will be lucky if he makes it off the map without his underwear becoming soiled.

Jdmorse and co. He marches to the attack while my snipers calmly pick 10 targets apiece. Every tank is buttoned, every half-track is shocked, but still the bag-pipes sound.

Pawbroon my own damn sponser has not sent me a turn since before his "experiment in popular style" came out. Uh, Pops? Its 2001, not 1967.

Is that all? Gawds I hope so...

((Edited for stUBBidity))

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

I don't know why you all wouldn't pick Berli, who seems the obvious choice.

R U stoopid or somefink?

Hope this clears things up.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, I was working under the assumption that if Berli wanted to go, he would have said so, and that, as they say, would be that.

But now Winecape is making us the rather more attractive offer of allowing two of our number to bang grog heads together, and, as Shandorf came in here and postured in a non-testosterone way and actually spoke well (for him), I say we send him and Berli (who truth to tell, would have been my first choice, but I also assumed that as this was an invitational for 'stars' he might already be in it in a non-Peng Challenge Thread capacity).

Should Berli not wish to participate, and as there is only one person in the Universe who can force him to tasks against his nature (or two, if you count God), then I, frankly, think Geier should be our choice. He should not be allowed to refuse, of course, as he is foreign and we in the Peng Challenge Thread are not in the habit of allowing foreigners to refuse.

Also, may I just say, I would have recommended Pawbroon, but such a majour involvement with a tournament might have seriously cut into his time with Emma, and I am not yet prepared to face the hell that that might have opened before my feet.

Should, finally, Geier absolutely refuse (and, although he is foreign, and therefore technically cannot refuse, he is also with The Old Firm, and they are difficult to coerce properly), then I propose we send OGSF.

If drafted, I myself would serve, but I fear my play is erratic, at best, and might not bring the credit we deserve to our proud band of completely ungovernable, contentious, and opinionated wolverines.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Berli -- This guy sends me a game where the map is full, and I mean FULL of nothing but trees, rocks, and hills, with one crooked road winding its way happily past the objectives. Hmm, should I take my armour up that road towards the objectives? Sure! Three husks later my men valiantly storm towards a small building surrounded on three sides by barbed wire, mines, and roadblocks. Basically, I am beating my heart against some mad buggers wall. And he giggles like a little girl when one of my units perishes. Like it had a choice~![/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ROTFL!!! Who the Hell taught you how to count? I count no less than three fires from catastophic explosions, and at least 2 of those cute little dead bodies... and that's after two turns of combat. I see you choice wisely in not following the (largely non-threatened) road. It was much better to take your armor through (slowly) the woods under the attentive eye of my sIG33 FROM HELL!!!!