Forever Babra Posted January 27, 2001 Share Posted January 27, 2001 Originally posted by Lawyer: I'm an equal opportunity killer. If only the worthy got legal attention, there would be no lawyers. Wouldn't that be awful? As it happens, I'm bored. As a one-time freelance court reporter, I'm the only person I know that has billed lawyers far more than I've ever paid out to them. Those were sweet times. However, I'm not in that racket any more and the craving to see one of those esteemed gentlemen of the bar wince and squirm is strong again. Court Reporters hear such woe How they stand it, I don't know Tales of gore and incest too Murder, rape and what have you They do not judge, they do not frown They calmly sit and take it down How they cope, it takes no sage -- They simply charge us by the page. Send me your set-up and prepare your chattels and things for the inevitable topplement. ------------------ When it's my turn to march up to Glory, I'm gonna have one HELL of a story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapdragon Posted January 27, 2001 Share Posted January 27, 2001 Originally posted by Speedy: Christ the French don't know any bloody thing about war, the tyre was obviously placed there to stop heat rounds from penetrating the armour and doing nasty things to the poor people inside. And what's this senility wants another squire. Oooohhh you poor boy, brain hurting a bit from having to write your own speeches? Or is it a sore arm from having to polish your own armour? If I could be bothered I would do a game update now, but I can't be bothered. I am winning every game except the ones I am losing. Pfft It is completely unfair to make fun of the French for not knowing how to make war. I have gotten some great French weapons cheap at gun shows, for example an M49 7.5mm rifle only fired a dozen times before it was abandoned in Vietnam, a LeMat revolver in 8mm only used once to kill it's owner ( a French Lieutenant) at Dakar, and a nearly spotless M1892 8mm rifle captured unfired by the Germans in 1940, then captured again by the US from a Vichy unit, maybe 100 rounds in all being fired through this beautiful weapon, none of them on the battlefield. The weapons were some of the best bolt action rifles and revolvers I have ever own. Mint condition, barely used in combat, and well treated after their capture. So, if the French know nothing about war, why are their weapons so good? I prove you wrong resoundingly. (BTW- ) [This message has been edited by Slapdragon (edited 01-27-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Originally posted by Geier: (Also, I noted the fact that Hakkos cat is fatter than mine. Draw your own conclusions ...) Ah, but that picture was taken before Professor Doktor Hamster X got a hold of him. Perhaps it is time to post pictures of our cats as well. I am told that Elvis's cat would make a particularly fine roast. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 01-27-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Originally posted by PawBroon: We don't need no stinking Lawyer for fear you'd mate with JD. If they do, can I watch? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 The Lawyer is no longer accepting applications for annihilation. I have graciously agreed to play PeterNZ, Chrisl, and Babra at my discount pro bono rate of $250 per hour. Any additional games must be billed at my normal rate of $400 per hour, plus $10,000 retainer up front. A lawyer's gotta make a living, ya know. I am referring overflow clients to my assistant, jd morse. He has a fine education from somewhere. He helped prove that OJ Simpson was innocent, so that OJ could continue his personal quest to find the real killer. Lately, jd has performed much pro bono work for Hillary, and has a nude picture of her hanging on his wall next the the Monica Lewinsky-autographed cigar that jd sniffs as he toils in his cubicle. In closing, let me thank my agent, my publicist, my business manager, my hair stylist, my valet (jd), and all the other wonderful people who helped me get to where I am today accepting your warm heartfelt admiration. I especially want to thank PeterNZ, a real lamb-lover, for kicking off the bidding. He is so good, he could almost be an Aussie. ------------------ Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Lawyer, your taunts bore me. The challenge raised just enough level of interest for me to bother replying so you can learn exactly what your ass will feel like after i've laid into it with my boot, but your most recent post is so riddled with taunt cliches I am, frankly, yawning at it. Please try harder next time. And send me my file. meanwhile: Mark IV continues to feel some hot brit loving thrusting into him from behind, the side, the front, above.. well just about everywhere. Chrisl and I play 'lets who can find who first in the fog'. A cheery game for one and all. Marlow is learning that what goes around comes around, and my tanks are finally learning that, yeah, hitting things makes their boss happy. The rest are kinda boring. So i won't mention them. Much like Meeks. PeterNZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Originally posted by PeterNZer: Lawyer, your taunts bore me. I have to agree with that statement as well--not terribly exciting, but quite long. And if you're going to analyze their photos, I hope to see one of you up as well. As for me, I don't appear in pictures due to some bites I suffered in college. Chrisl and I play 'lets who can find who first in the fog'. A cheery game for one and all. That's kind of like "if a tree falls on Seanachai but nobody's there to see, etc.."--If you find me first, but all your troops die, have you really found me? I've noted a sound contact of something somewhere, but it might just be a flock of ducks. I don't think that CAS that I bought will be of much use... Meanwhile, Seanachai is losing badly. He boldly grabbed both flags early in our game, and gave my armor a beating. Things were starting to look pretty bad--like I might lose to someone who lost to Peng, but then I counterattacked a while back with two toothless old men and their blind seeing-eye dogs (and a little bit of 105 mm arty), and his forces have withered under the onslaught. He's got an apparently immobilized Stuart that is just out of LOS of my bogged StuG, and neither has done much of use since the StuG took out the building separating them. Seanatea continues to struggle, but I think he's about to be routed from the little flag. He has no chance left at all of getting near the big one. Oh, and one of the dogs was slightly injured in my counterattack, but otherwise it's been pretty smooth. I expect him to surrender soon. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) [This message has been edited by chrisl (edited 01-27-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Chrisl, to complete your riddle If a tree falls on Senachai but noone is there to see, does anyone really care? ta PeterNZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Originally posted by PawBroon: Go practice the Law in your sandbox! <startled, reaches up to make sure the door to the room where the sandbox is kept is locked and yells> Ummm, sorry! I'm using it right now. =D Kitty ------------------ Hamsters at War! Chicks With Tanks Lorak's FTX "I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka The True Blue Aussie Slang Source The Unofficial Vic Bitter Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Just wondering as I peruse the cesspool. Where's all the colour? I haven't seen a bigger bunch of whiteys since I stopped watching US hockey. About the only thing we could call ethnic would be Andreas and that's only because he looks like a fecking space alien. Nice of me to slip my 'company car' in there too, huh. Lawyer, I think I hear your ambulance calling. Your analysis of the pictures, while accidently on the mark in some cases, has paled quickly with your other postings. We appear to have adequate representation here, and to suggest that a number of us would suck on the teat of the great satan in order to support our CM habit seems a bit like projecting to me. Quite a few of aren't even yanks, but that is the sort of shallow analysis we have come to expect from 'professionals' such as yourself with such low hourly rates. BTW, that's called a taunt, you government mook. [This message has been edited by Goanna (edited 01-27-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Goanna, you ignoramus. Of course I must separate out the worker bees in speaking about the US because we actually have some here to separate, though most of them come from Mexico and Korea. Unlike OZ, where EVERYONE is on the tit from cradle to grave, and there are no workers at all. Being polite as I always am, I didn't mention that you get a gub'ment allowance to eat, screw, procreate, fart, drink, and die. Plus, you worship the Queen of England and Chucker to boot. You live in a COLONY of ENGLAND! And yes, when you spew posterior droppings like that, you certainly must identify it as a taunt, ineffective as it is, because nobody would recognize it as such otherwise. My witty repartee escapes you because it doesn't start with an "F" and end with "K", nor is it expressed with a vertical finger raising your nose droppings as a gift to Heaven. Let's just chalk this rant by you up to another Pommie wannabe taking a lifelong walkabout in the desert hoping to stumble into Paul Hogan, who you believe is a star simply because you have nothing else to stare at. Oh, I forgot. You do have the aging remnants of Men at Work (ironic), the EasyBeats, and of course the very talented Olivia Newton John. Fer Chrissakes, even the Bee Gees left. BTW, if you want some ethnic diversity in your non-life, go wait tables for the Japanese tourists and pray they learn how to tip. "Do you come from the land downunder, where women glow and men chunder..." As Root Boy Slim would say, "Boogie till You Puke" ------------------ Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men.... [This message has been edited by Lawyer (edited 01-27-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 28, 2001 Author Share Posted January 28, 2001 Originally posted by chrisl: Meanwhile, Seanachai is losing badly. He boldly grabbed both flags early in our game, and gave my armor a beating. Things were starting to look pretty bad--like I might lose to someone who lost to Peng, Here, now, lad, don't get above yourself. Yer' not fit to buff Peng's instep with your tongue. but then I counterattacked a while back with two toothless old men and their blind seeing-eye dogs (and a little bit of 105 mm arty), and his forces have withered under the onslaught. He's got an apparently immobilized Stuart that is just out of LOS of my bogged StuG, and neither has done much of use since the StuG took out the building separating them. Snow-blindness, laddie. If I had a Stuart, I'd have flanked and euthanized that immobile StuG ages ago. Seanatea continues to struggle, but I think he's about to be routed from the little flag. He has no chance left at all of getting near the big one. I expect him to surrender soon. Surrender? To you? I'd as soon cut off my own ears and be called a dalem. Well, I might just have to consider it anyway, because the quacking loon that did the setup decided 50 turns were needed to play through a 1250 point game. I imagine my choices will be surrender or watching my troops attrited by old age. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues [This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 01-28-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 In glancing at the main board (can't stand to actually READ it you understand) I notice a lot of technical type stuff that seems to be missing from This The One The True Cesspool. While certain of our members do dry their sleeves, scrap the ... stuff ... off their shoes, slick back their hair (with what we don't really want to know) and venture onto the main board from time to time, for the most part this thread, while clearly superior, lacks a certain ... something. I think it's time that we take a page from the main board's book (we seem to be running short on DRY paper anyway) and get just a tad GROGGY. Well, not that perhaps, I mean Berli does a fine job based on his photo and as for Hiram ... his photo speaks for itself which is a GOOD thing since Hiram speaking for himself is too frightening to contemplate. Here, I'll start: I was driving one of those German things ... a tank maybe ... I think it was called a Pummelwagon or something ... anyway I got shot by this other tank thing only it was different and had a star on it. So anyway, it shot me and my guy blew up! I mean, WTF! I clearly remember reading a book once that said something about tanks not blowing up like that ... or maybe it was cars in Hollywood movies ... anyway it's basically the same thing. So hey BTS, fix this or somefink! Okay guys, let's not let those main board guys think they have all the answers, let's get a real Grog discussion going here. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 When venturing into grogdom, I find it wise and refreshing to go back to the beginning ... no not the beginning for Fezzik, Inigo and Vizzini ... but the true beginning. From page 2 or 3 of "Cabbages" our own MrPeng OK, lets get this clear... I taunt people. its what i do. i don't know squat about unit composition or weponry or versions of this or that particular APDS or yer sister's ass. I DO know how to taunt people, but here is the really hard part for some people to grasp. my tongue is ALWAYS firmly planted in my cheek. smilies or not. we are talking about a GAME that we PLAY. I talk plenty of trash and i bust balls and i poke fun and sometimes it may look like i am serious. i had all of my serious bones removed and replaced with funnybones a long time ago. seriously. so if you are in it to be mean don't ride my coat tails. I AM IN IT FOR FUN. it just so happens that SS is a terrific target for me because he forgets that this is a game and some of us are here ONLY to have fun: that we don't give a hoot about whether the game engine runs on unleaded or a gas-oil mix, or if the sum of the sides of an isocolese triangle really do gramafritz the 77mm post hoc do-hicky on the prefarkle calculation of the thing that does the trajectory for ausf higgity coneshaped dirt clods in a semi armored cod piece. Got it? good. forget what i said now. close this thread. leave SS alone. i am about to whoop his sorry but in LD: that will be enough humiliation for him for one weekend. Goodnight Gracie Peng ------------------ Peng sez "die a lot now." OK, Joe, enough refresher, on with your grogginess. ------------------ "Moriarty, you suck." -- Dunno, but somebody must've said it somewhere along the line Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forever Babra Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Originally posted by Moriarty: When venturing into grogdom, I find it wise and refreshing to go back to the beginning ... You are always saying that. I do not tink that means what you tink dat means. ------------------ When it's my turn to march up to Glory, I'm gonna have one HELL of a story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MrHappy Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Hey Boozer, words words words... Mr. Happy... more words word words TOSS AN INSULT ... and it better be good. Joe Somebody called me? ------------------ MrHappy sez, "C'MON GET HAPPY!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
von shrad Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Yes I called you Mr.Happy. Now be a good lad and open your mouth. *inserts 4 hefty tabs of LSD 25* See you when you get back from your trip. Stay away from the moonpies, they are evil and only wish to control you! Ta Ta for now. (Edited because I can) [This message has been edited by von shrad (edited 01-28-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Originally posted by Moriarty: When venturing into grogdom, I find it wise and refreshing to go back to the beginning ... no not the beginning for Fezzik, Inigo and Vizzini ... but the true beginning. OK, Joe, enough refresher, on with your grogginess. Goddammit Moriarity! I love you man! ------------------ "I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..." Hamsters/Meeks(!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Bring that asterisk right on over here boys. Yep, that's right Lorak. Peng and I pulled our old game out and finished it up via TCP this evening. It was old and stale and very unexciting. Peng drove right on over what was left of my hamstertruppen with multiple 105 flinging thingies for a tactical victory. So thats: Peng win Goanna loss Retribution is brewing. Move along now, nothing to see here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Errr. Nothing to be seen... [Edited because it was such a FrenchWithoutCoffeePostingStraightOutOfTheBed thing.] [This message has been edited by PawBroon (edited 01-28-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:USERNAME: Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Originally posted by von shrad: Yes I called you Mr.Happy. Now be a good lad and open your mouth. *inserts 4 hefty tabs of LSD 25* [This message has been edited by von shrad (edited 01-28-2001).] The german 75mm L/SD/24 never fired psychotropically afrika corp'd penetraiters. That is a clear fallacy as well as a point of obturation to people with turrets syndrome. On the other hand the PanzerComaPatrone (PCP) effectively ended the Panzer peace movement by unleashing hoardes of glazed eyed demons upon the eastern borders.. uh..wait a second.. Where am I? How did I ever end up in such a dull, played out thread like this?.. Oh yeah, The drugs. Well. Makes sense now. lewis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Originally posted by Seanachai: Here, now, lad, don't get above yourself. Yer' not fit to buff Peng's instep with your tongue. Bah. I was kicking the snot out of Peng (except for his StuGs, but they were next) when he was forced to surrender due to excessive pus buildup. He'll get his turn in the mill. Snow-blindness, laddie. If I had a Stuart, I'd have flanked and euthanized that immobile StuG ages ago. Doesn't matter--I blew it up this turn anyway. As the rocket left the shreck someone managed to ID it as a white scout car. Now it's an abandoned white scout car with a big hole in the side. I was waiting for you to flank the StuG--I had a schreck hanging around for a long time. He got bored and hiked up to the little bunch of trees where he is now. You know, the one who killed the MG carrier and the scout car. The StuG crew is so bored that I made them start unloading AP into the infantry-did I hit any of those guys (to my left of the rubbled building)? You can tell which ones the StuG hit because they have a 7.5 cm hole clean through. Originally posted by Seanachai: Surrender? To you? I'd as soon cut off my own ears and be called a dalem. Well, I might just have to consider it anyway, because the quacking loon that did the setup decided 50 turns were needed to play through a 1250 point game. Blah blah. I set the turns long because I hate it when it ends before things are really settled. I never intend them to go that long. If you really want, a cease fire might be entertained, but given what your squad by the little flag was doing in this last movie, I might hold out for a surrender. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Originally posted by Lawyer: Unlike OZ, where EVERYONE is on the tit from cradle to grave, and there are no workers at all. Being polite as I always am, I didn't mention that you get a gub'ment allowance to eat, screw, procreate, fart, drink, and die. Oh dear! Jealousy is the curse that you have to bare. We also get: 20 days a year holiday leave, 5 days a year paid sick leave (without medical certificate) and 7 with certificate, flex-leave, 3 months long service leave every 10 years of service. Not to mention compassionate leave, carer's leave and study leave! I think we also get 10 public holidays a year!!! We have prestine beaches and great swimming in close reach to the majority of the populace. Our weather is fantastic. We still retain our native fuana and flora, and have extremely lovely countryside! We have beautiful cities and towns with relatively low polution! The people are extremely friendly and everyone's your mate! We have great beer! We have great restaraunts We have a relatively low crime rate! And we know how to look after the disadvantaged! Everyone wants to come here either to live permanantly, or for a holiday! My suggestion to you, lawyer, is either migrate here to live, or blow your brains out! You'll be glad you did! Mace (this advertisement paid by the Australian tourist bureau) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 What we really need is a bit of grog porn to get our grog juices flowing. anyone.. ? And Lawyer you git, where's my file?? PeterNZ ------------------ "Patriotism is the virtue of the viscious" - Oscar Wilde "Don't F*CK with Johnny Cash!" - Chupacabra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Lorak Please mark me down for two more lossess and PeterNZer (oh how I hate him with his orange hair and his effeminate ways -- especially how he stands around with his hand on his hip and says "I'm just thooper, thanks for athsking" or when he says "thats what you think, Andre Ass")with two more wins. We had a traffic accident of a game and then decided to try again becaus of my postering and whining. He must have cheating both times. Now if I can only find my Acme CM Atomizer.... ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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