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A Thousand Points of Peng, A Kindler, More Gentler Cess


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Lawyer,

I laugh at you sir.

So you think I am related to Hoss. Well..so be it.

I tried to save you further insult by showing my wife on the site.

But I am forced to remind you that the Cowboy always gets the girl.

Lorak's little Irish Lass.

Sarasand.gif

Oh, one of both of us.. Since I know you'll assume I'm lying.

Wetwo2.gif

I had prepared an insult for you also.. But I believe what is posted above is enough.

Lorak the loathed

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"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

Lorak's FTX

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

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Originally posted by Lawyer:

Sure, he's a lawyer, but he's not a Washington Lawyer.

Get your facts correct Jakeley-odeo Washington State Bar #11681. So there. Phfft!

Ok, time to enter into one of the legal professions most time honored traditions, a pissing match.........

Jake, you couldn't find your way out of the federal register and actually represent a real person if they bit you on the butt (sit down Blouhaus, Mace, PNZ et al.....) Let's remember that I actually make money (of course it is off the misery and stupidity of my fellow man) and contribute, you as a guv'ment man suck at the public teat. Soooooooo-eeeeeeeee

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If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram

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tome updates:

Mensch-win

Hiram-loss

Mensch-draw

Hiram-draw

Pictures added: Foobar, Joe Shaw, Goanna, and Doktor Hamster x

More obscure teachings from the Lorak later.

Lorak the loathed

------------------

"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

Lorak's FTX

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

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All the news that’s fit to print from Goanna Central.

Well, Operation Lizard continues in earnest. Elvis and Speedy are attempting to drive more King Tigers than were ever produced through a thin veil of Chaffee to the coast and are already bogged down and suffering losses. German commanders are already calling in excuses to higher HQ.

JDmorse is creeping up slowly to his doom, like a new junky to his first hit. Not wanting it, but seemingly unable to stay away. I see a big settlement in the Germans favour.

Shaw, Hiram and Marlow round out these matches and all three are begging to be wiped away like some spittle that has rested to long on the side of a glass.

Seanachai has continued on his poorly devised quest, but due to false optimism that goes with most quests is more eager than before and has almost become a dependable adversary.

The Heraldites are, as always, dependable and predictable, dying in droves over land that was never theirs, commanded by the insane and destined to be thrown on the King Lizard’s meat pile for later use. I won’t say eating since our scientists are still uncertain if ineptitude can be spread like Mad Cow disease.

I have a sexy new Powerbook to take on my next money extracting holiday in the mid east. The rate of your topplements should therefore be able to continue unabated.

Nice work from the other lawdog. I would nearly suggest immediate inclusion in the halls of honour, but for the fact that we are clearly over-represented. He would need to come up with something more nefarious than charging in 6-minute increments and slapping a lien on all of our bodily excrements to run our current over-charging bloodsucker out of town. Plus, if you are going to whip the gallery, you gotta post your mug.

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More insane babbling from the Lorak.

Todays lesson concerns Discordia.

= The POEE Baptismal Rite =

This Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is offered by many POEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony.

1) The Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the Initiate in the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in disguise like a cabbage or something.

2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest, assume a squatting position and return to a standing position. This is repeated four more times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of we Erisians.

3) The Priest begins: I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees, designations, offices, etc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather, The House of the Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do herewith Require of Ye:

ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING?

The Initiate answers YES.

THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF?

The Initiate answers YES.

HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILOSOPHICALLY ILLUMINIZED?

He answers YES.

VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE HOLEY ERISIAN MOVEMENT?

The Initiate answers PROBABLY.

THEN SWEAR YE THE FOLLOWING AFTER ME:

(The Priest here leads the Initiate in a recital of THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION.)

The Priest continues: THEN I DO HERE PROCLAIM YE POEE DISCIPLE (name), LEGIONNAIRE OF THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL ERIS! HAIL HAIL! HAIL YES!

4) All present rejoice grandly. The new Brother opens a large jug of wine and offers it to all who are present.

5) The Ceremony generally degenerates.

Mord says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway.

DO NOT PULL ON YELLOW TIP

3. And though Omar did bid of the Collector of Garbage, in words that were both sweet and bitter, to surrender back the cigar box containing the cards designated by the Angel as The Honest Book of Truth, the Collector was to him as one who might be smitten deaf, saying only: 'Gainst the rules, y'know

Lorak the loathed

------------------

"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

Lorak's FTX

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

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Could the pool really stand two lawyers and a Mortgage Broker (say it ain't so Joe!)
Okay ... It Ain't So! ... in point of fact (although I hate to screw up a good lawyerly fight with trivia like facts) I have been and currently am a Mortgage BANKER. Calling me a mortgage broker (note the lower case) is akin to calling you a paralegal except that paralegals sometimes do some form of service to the public ... albeit at HUGE billable hours. Mortgage Bankers are professionals, mortgage brokers are insurance salesmen who couldn't make it selling insurance.

Goanna This alleged defeat of which you speak ... would this be a game you're playing against ANOTHER Joe Shaw? Because the game I'VE been watching (your tactics really don't require any participation on my part, the default actions of the tactical AI is MORE than sufficient) features large numbers of FRENCH FRIED FIGHTING Vehicles. For those who haven't been paying attention, he's the one with the French armor.

Joe

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Seanachai:

Fear not, I disrespect you greatly. Your annoying penchant for spewing forth words in the hope that volume will produce sense is truly admirable in its own worthless way. May I even say worthy of a lawyer? It is only threatened by Germanboy's relentless and pedantic attacks upon our collective sensibilities. Or maybe Meek's deranged sermons on things nobody cares about.

But your bile quotient is lacking, and I get a sense that you actually LIKE some of these Pool losers. Scary stuff.

However, I do recall you as the author of the finest taunt I have ever seen in all the days of the Pool. Weren't you the one who said "you watch your parents undress" on page one or two of the original Peng thread?

Awesome, man, truly awesome in its scope and perception of the sick spirits who inhabit this thread. I believe you personally caused five or six guys to re-think what they considered to be normal behavior. I'll bet their sex lives have never recovered, and their parents are starving for attention.

Moriarty:

You are right, probably for the first time in your life. Lawyer needs to feed on new carcass now that Mark IV has crawled away in humble defeat, fearful to face such humiliation again. Who shall it be? You??

Mark IV:

Thanks for the endorsement, buddy. You must be in a good mood since that shop in San Francisco threw in a free extra ring with the normal set to adorn your superfluous third nipple. Bet it attracts a lot of friendly attention down in Venice beach. It'll work in Dallas too.

Lorak:

My family comes from NC. I know all about six-pack love and Southern girls who listen to lies. How do you think lawyers get laid down there? I agree your wife's a beauty and you are not worthy. What more do you want? That changes nothing of my original observations about posting your picture on the internet.

If you're not careful, Lorak, I'm gonna tell Meeks to assault your site. He alone could bring it down in minutes.

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Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men....

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Originally posted by Lawyer:

My family comes from NC. I know all about six-pack love and Southern girls who listen to lies. Sadly I couldn't even get that right and was forced to satisfy myself with tipping cows, from behind, with my hands tied behind my back.

Well.. Laywer, That is nice. Maybe you and Mace could double date.

Ahh, Six pack love..

"Hey lady you want to get a six pack and screw? Or don't you drink?"

Truly a proud moment for any Carolinian.

Lorak the loathed

------------------

"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

Lorak's FTX

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

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Originally posted by jd:

Get your facts correct Jakeley-odeo Washington State Bar #11681. So there. Phfft!

Ok, time to enter into one of the legal professions most time honored traditions, a pissing match.........

Jake, you couldn't find your way out of the federal register and actually represent a real person if they bit you on the butt (sit down Blouhaus, Mace, PNZ et al.....) Let's remember that I actually make money (of course it is off the misery and stupidity of my fellow man) and contribute, you as a guv'ment man suck at the public teat. Soooooooo-eeeeeeeee

jd, **Slap, Slap** listen up! Nobody cares about pleadings and rules of evidence in the Real World. They know, as I do, that you are venal, and that you do not work for a living like us Public Service lawyers. Now quit trying to impress us with your professional trappings.

I must leave now to rub some more snow in your face in our battle.

Cheers

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Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men....

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They know, as I do, that you are venal, and that you do not work for a living like us Public Service lawyers.
ANNOUCING ... A new game from BTS in the time honored tradition of Combat Mission: Beyond Overlord ... pre-order your copy of:

PUBLIC SERVICE LAWYER: BEYOND OXYMORON

Joe

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Lorak:

You re-wrote my statement, which is okay.

"My family comes from NC. I know all about six-pack love and Southern girls who listen to lies. Sadly I couldn't even get that right and was forced to satisfy myself with tipping cows, from behind, with my hands tied behind my back."

My main concern is that I didn't know you were watching what I did with the cows. Whistle next time, will ya?

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Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men....

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Originally posted by Lawyer:

Moriarty:

You are right, probably for the first time in your life. Lawyer needs to feed on new carcass now that Mark IV has crawled away in humble defeat, fearful to face such humiliation again. Who shall it be? You??

I'm a newspaperman by trade, never been right in my life. Lower than low, lower than a lawyer and wouldn't presume to know what's right.

You'll have to do a better job of taunting than that to get my attention. Besides, I lose more than Lorak, so a good taunt is all I have to look forward to.*

* Ending the sentence in a preposition was intentional on the part of the author.

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"Moriarty, you suck." -- Dunno, but somebody must've said it somewhere along the line

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{sigh}

It really is no use to taunt you Lawyer. I knew that as soon as I found out you were from North Carolina. Growing up here numbs you to any insult one can fling at you. Hell look at the national news sometimes.

If there is a story about NC on there I know it will be:

1)"Man shoots at planes by airport" Hell next thing I knew this UFO was scaring my best coon dog, So I just had to shoot at it.

2)tornado, flood, ect..

picture.....Nice woman in a nightgown around 4pm, holding a marlboro in one hand, a chained Rot in the other, balancing a baby on one hip, while 4 others peer through the torn screen door of her single wide.

"hell me and the babies had just turned on that there Jerry show to see my sister and he ex. When all sud'en like, butch, my dog here starts barking like a deer's in the garbage...."

Sad really.. what can one really say to offend one from our state?

Lorak the loathed

------------------

"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

Lorak's FTX

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

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Moriarty:

Lower than a Lawyer?? Only Mark IV as a "marketing" man falls into that category, unless we have some car salesmen here.

Joe Shaw:

Lawyers are evil and counter-productive to society, but whatever "mortgage" thing you're involved with is the biggest evil of all. As the Byrds sang in "Pretty Boy Floyd": "Some men will rob you with a six-gun and some with a fountain pen".

Plus, I couldn't even get a real beer in Salt Lake City. Ain't comin' back.

------------------

Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men....

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Moriarty:

Lower than a Lawyer?? Only Mark IV as a "marketing" man falls into that category, unless we have some car salesmen here.

Joe Shaw:

Lawyers are evil and counter-productive to society, but whatever "mortgage" thing you're involved with is the biggest evil of all. As the Byrds sang in "Pretty Boy Floyd": "Some men will rob you with a six-gun and some with a fountain pen".

Plus, I couldn't even get a real beer in Salt Lake City. Ain't comin' back.

------------------

Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men....

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umm... and yet a third post shows up.

Tis not a good Day for the Lorak.

What the hell though.

germanboy....still dying

Moriarty... Tells me that we will be playing on a "berli special". Gee I can hardly wait.

GiTom... just starting. I will prove how bad I am to him shortly.

other games..outside of the pool, who cares.

Lorak

[This message has been edited by Lorak (edited 01-26-2001).]

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Plus, I couldn't even get a real beer in Salt Lake City. Ain't comin' back.
Ah no! The Chamber of Commerce will be beside themselves (with all the inbreeding around here, polygamy donchaknow, that's a pretty safe bet anyway) and the Winter Olympics will have to find some other lawyer type to bribe ... NO, not bribe, did I say bribe, I meant pay consulting fees, not bribery, that would be against the law and this is Salt Lake, home of one of the world's larger religions, so bribery is clearly right out.

You're right about the beer though {sigh}.

Joe

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The King is Dead. Long live the King.

Sir Lorak:

Marlow - Win (89)

Elvis - Looooooooose (11)

The only thing running was his Cannucks in Sir rune's "A River Runs Through it."

All of the other Chumps I am playing will have to wait until Saturday, as work has unfortunately intruded on CM time.

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Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service,

Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool

formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread

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Hey Boozer, we don't allow that kind of talk in here buster! NO ONE waltzes into the CessPool and politley ASKS for a game with a 'pooler. And we don't give a damn what you call Mr. Happy or what kind of gleaming martial aids (get it guys? MARTIAL Aids?) you used in the past. This is The One The True Cesspool and you'll by GAWD ask for a game like you got a pair BOYO or you'll slink off into the darkness like the drooling, congenital idiot you so closely resemble. Now show a little gumption SON, SOUND OFF AND TOSS AN INSULT ... and it better be good.

Joe

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Ahh,

So nice to see everyone Screaming and fighting... almost like family.

Tome updates: (bored at work...sue me)

Marlow-win

Elvis-loss

New Pictures: Hakko Ichiu, Geier, and YK2

TTFN

Lorak the loathed

------------------

"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

Lorak's FTX

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

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Originally posted by Kitty:

Hmmm...no, not harsh enough but thanks.

Elvis - I can do it for him if you want Kitty.

Cool. Go ahead. =)

Lawyer returns and insults

Aaaaaaaaaah! Thank you Mr. Lawyer. =)

Kitty

[This message has been edited by Kitty (edited 01-26-2001).]

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Hamsters at War!

Chicks With Tanks

Lorak's FTX

"I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka

The True Blue Aussie Slang Source

The Unofficial Vic Bitter Website

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Lorak, stop posing in pictures with your sister and get back to work...

We all know just how chummy families can be down there in the south, but you are taking it just a bit too far. But it may indeed be commonplace where you grew up to take your sister to the prom.

Anyhoo...

Score one for Herr Oberst.

Herr Oberst - win

Stuka (the VonSchrad version) - loss

Green Gerbiljaegers attacking against green Amis defending the village. No contest, final score 78 to 22, and when he called it quits yelling "momma, momma, momma" I had 283 Gerbils ready for more scrappin' to his paltry 128 knee-knocking Amis.

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

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