Stuka Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by harpooner: I am a Bhuddist Rastafarian Agnostic No your'e not. Your'e a Git. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harpooner Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Git this, bitch... I'll blow you up so good your whole country will grovel at my feet and beg me to become their supreme dictator for life. Then, when I refuse, they will offer to vote you out of office and try you as a war criminal for your criminally negligent impersonation of a field commander. Your topplement will be my greater glory. All your bases are belong to Peng...Bwa ha ha! But, enough of this petty name calling. Put your gun where your git is and line up your soldiers in a tight little formation so that my big gun can have its way with them and not waste too much ammo. ------------------ "So be cheery, my lads, let your hearts never fail, While the bold harpooner is striking the whale!" -Nantucket Song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 One more for the Wheels of Justice -- Consigliori -- Win PeterNZer -- Loss My attack was brilliant, even if my Sherman died in the open field before firing a shot. (Clear proof that FIAT was in the AFV business during WWII.) However, I think PNZ was perhaps distracted by his easy acquisition of dalem and Joe Shaw as trained pets during our game. Or perhaps Kiwi Pete threw in the towel because he was finally recognized as a TV star or a star TV. Either way, he'll fit right in on Hollywood Blvd. BTW, you'd think somebody stupid enough to lose his sig to the Kiwi would lay low until he got control of himself again (if possible), but Joe has recently been yakkin' more than his hero Michael Jackson on a child abuse forum. Maybe it's because we all must suffer more during Lent. In other games... chrisl has all his units at the back of a large map so they will be easy to move off the board as my Gallant G.I.'s approach. So, I'll take this one after he pulled a gamey flag rush to pull out meager victory in our last game. Wildman managed to send me a first game turn from his Air Fart bodyshop, it seems. Your tax dollars at work. Looks like the Chicom's just gave him another banged up plane to fix, once they take what they want first. Maybe they'll leave him an eggroll. Things are getting boring here. Where's Croda when you need him? Oh well, Dick Fickle is apparently back from his tryout to be the new leather biker in the Village People. Remember to brush you teeth after each meal, Dick. The rest of you can sniff my cat's behind. ------------------ Consigliori to the Stars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by PeterNZer: I move that Hamsters is a gamey bastard! PeterNZ Don't give up on me yet Petal. He snuck behind me and charred one of my charees, but I'm making full steam ahead for the flag. With those precious blokes left way behind, he has signed his own death warrant. Hail, the Hamster collective is dead! (or very nearly dead, anyway) StR Oh, before I go, Lorak put your chisel in the sharpener, a momentus happeneing has happened; the original newbie battle vs Wildman has ended. His corner has thrown in the blooded towel. An ambulance has been called and another career ends in the emergency ward. Despite having about 6 Tiger 2s, four low hung bastard guns on wheels, and a whole hoard of PzrTruppen, he couldn't defeat my gallant (you've no idead how it pains me say that) Americans. Are you listening Marlon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by harpooner: I am a Bhuddist Rastafarian Agnostic Is Bhuddist Agnostic an Oxymoron? If so, as you are a Bhuddist Rastafarian Agnostic, does this make you a dopey (oxy)moron? Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by Hamsters: We demand that any and all of you find the annoying newbie named 'Harpooner' and make fun of him immediately. This 'Harpooner' is, in reality, 'Meeks's Hippie Cousin What Stole Meeks's CM CD Long Back'. Oh, for the love of somefink, puh-leez tell me this is my imagination. That gene pool MUST have ended with Meeks. That's all we need is another Meeksian pseudolifeform running around with sharp pointy things. ------------------ Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? -- Oddball Crap -- Moriarty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by harpooner: My gamey cousin says that this is the surest way to open up a can of whoop-ass on myself and has STRONGLY advised me against posting on the Peng thread. Well come an' git me ya bunch a mealy headed worm-eating, arsenic-swilling, hispanically sublimnable elderberry eaters. I live for war!... Good God, Meeks, is that your cousin? He's a gibbering idiot. My condolences to the family. You're a freaking lunatic swine,Elijah, but at least you post well. Couldn't you take him in hand, or something? He's probably just going to hurt himself. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Greetings you unwashed wretches. Duty First.... Tome update. elvis-win OGSF-loss Herr Oberst-win Croda-loss Mark IV-draw OGSF-Draw Stevetherat-win Wildman-loss Meeks-win Goanna-loss Goanna-win Berli-loss Berli-win Pawbroon-loss Jd-win Mace-loss Lawyer-win PeterNZ-loss GAME UPDATES Sadly I have none. It seems that fate has once again looked upon me and spat. We had some bad storms here this weekend... and what happened? Let me tell you. I live in a area where all of our lines are buried. Storm safe, or so it would seem. But no! I am the Lorak and thus forced to live in a world that hates me and all I stand for. A nice oak decided to shed some limbs during our nice 60 mph winds and hail. What are the chances that that large arsed limb would fall on the junction box in my back yard? You see, thats just it. It doesn't matter. Because fate will quide events like that to however they can cause me the most grief. So after these nice storms, hail, and trees uprooted. In my whole area, My house (and the horse stable next door), are the only places with no power. So... Did I get to play CM this weekend? NO! Watch TV? NO Do anything? NO My life truly sucks. I did have plently of time to think upon my life and I have decided that I infact am a lot more boring than Shaw or Seanachai. Needless to say that I did spend a few moments this weekend at the pub. The only port with light in the storm of my life. Oh, But I learned. I leaned I am a loser. That I truly do suck at almost everything I try my hand at. Oh, and that a shot of rasberry liquor in your guinness taste pretty good. Truly I am loathed. Lorak the loathed ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Combatmissionclub and for Kitty's sake =^..^= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlankWithANailIn Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 ergh!!! they got me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by PlankWithANailIn: ergh!!! they got me.... Good. Now go away. ------------------ Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? -- Oddball Crap -- Moriarty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by DekeFentle: I have been absent due to inherent, genetically modified (as if I need it) stupidity. Leeo Is a god, though I refuse to accept well known truth. FeetDental, you gob-searching, hump-swallowing git. Your skill at the alliterative phrase is comparable to a dyslexic toddler who has been raised by strawberries. Your attempts at humour, flaccidly tried by stringing together phrases compiled of similar phonemes, are but drivel in the loo, as compared to the godlike renderings of yours truly. Without your thesaurus, I suspect that you would soon devolve to licking at your own nether-regions (sit down, Bauhaus) as does my dog when he is contemplating the nature of the universe. Now run along and impress the other juveniles with your mastery of the thesaurus, you pigeon-toed, half-brained, hump-swallowing, "I want to get my ass kicked by the big boys", crotch-licking excuse for a CM-player wannabe. ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 PBEM Report Germanboy and Meeks are nowhere to be seen. Will list as MIA and notify next of kin. Elvis is dithering around, lobbing large shells in my general direction and watching his men play 'chicken' with my mortars and a scout car. The latter is rather amusing, as my Humber is parked at right-angles to his line of advance, and the crew is hoping for a high score to win them the stuffed teddy bear. Leeo has finally levered my left hand out of his biscuit tin, but is about to receive a firm slap from my right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 David, We're afraid you will need to resend me the turn, as our E-mail seems to have eaten it. Don't you think it odd that we stopped sending you turns? Didn't this make you say, 'Cor blimey, wha's thas?!?!' or some other Bri'ish saying? Perhaps next time you could not waste so much time and resend the turn promptly. Real updates: Knight's Joust: Stevetherat, a moron of no account, has stopped sending turns. MarkIV's Violation Alley: Asking us if we bet, he then proceeds to demonstrate other, more carnal vices. The bastard. DekeFentle: Well, he's a dip, but he dies well. Seanachai: Yuck. We're about to see what a StuG, a JT and a KT can do to an infantry platoon at point blank range. jd: One turn, we're all ready ahead by a tank and a mortar. Croda: Oddly enough, is not himself crodalicious. Jefe: We can only assume you, like Aitken, cannot deign to resend a turn properly. Have you no class, sure? As to the appearance of our idiot cousin, we neither walk alike nor talk alike. We can only hope that one of three things happens to the dear spearboy: 1) He becomes a squire so our 387 wins (And one handicapped loss) can becomes part of the Pool record. And that way he can *kick* be taught the joys of the Pool. He dies. Not in a Napoleon, 'Death in obscurity after great conquests.' kind of dying but rather a 'Death in a whorehouse after great obscurity.' kind of dying but more immediately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 November, 1944, a small township, outside of Brunhildeburgenvertewulfe: Plucky but hopelessly inept British Corporal: Did ya see that! There's a dozen Tigers roight up on that ridge, we can't hold this town against that kind of firepower!!! Overly masculine Scottish Sergeant: Ach, e's raight, we mae as wall pack up an' 'ead 'ome, tha whooole 'Eer is up agin us. Snobbish English Lieutenant: Yes lads, we'd better retreat. His Majesty wouldn't want us to die needlessly. -From the other side of the battlefield, a German CO, resembling a lizard of epic obesity, yells out- Goanna: Ja, run avay, leetle girly-men. Jou cannot stand against ze might of ze Verhmacht!!! -The battalion of Tigers opens fire, 300mm artillery begins to rain down on the beleaguered British defenders, Luftwaffe bombers strafe the area, two U-Boats fall out of the sky and land on the company dog, Mugsy- Corporal: We can't escape, we'll have to surrender! Sergeant: Ach bedoogle! Lieutenant: All right, lads, throw down your arms, get out the company white flag and prepare the surrender drill. -Suddenly, out of the smoke of battle, riding on a battered Comet and smoking a cigarette, comes the only hope for Jolly Ol' England- General George S Patton: What'd you expect, some British hero? Christ, there aren't any British heroes. Now let's kick some Kraut ass! -Patton, via judicious HE round skipping and running HMG teams, along with some serious hand to hand combat with two U-Boat captains on the deck of the Bismarck, defeats the arrayed German forces handily- Corporal: Cor blimey, Mugsy wasn't killed, only nicked by the falling U-Boats! Company Dog Mugsy: Woof! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Berli has graciously decided to continue our game in which he is playing the role of the AI in a game which states Best Played Against the AI. I will, doubtless, lose this one but I'll have proved that Berli is, without a doubt, a gamey bastard ... you heard it here first, or if not first, then again. This wouldn't be the same scenario that I said we should drop would it? Or perhaps this is the scenario where I am keeping you up to date on all the reinforcements i am getting in the hope that you will pull the plug on this exersize in shooting fish in a barrel. This does not prove me to be gamey... it proves that you lack the intellect of the average street sign Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Crawdad hereby wins the award for gamiest player of all time. He has taken to mounting (SIT DOWN MACE!!!) modern Velcro tracks on his armor to make up for his troops pitiful driving skill. These new tracks barely saved the life of a Sherman which should have plunged to its death... His troops have also taken this "Digging In" thing to the extreme... ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... [This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 04-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 I normally don't quote emails since reality has so little to do with what goes on in here, but the latest LIE from Berli is just TOO MUCH. The following is an exact copy of my message to his nibs and his response: My email to the Berli one: Yeah it is, I think it MIGHT be more fun against the AI, but only because the AI is so stupid that you can have some success against it's piecemeal attacks. If you want to try another we can do that or just continue this one, either way. I have no idea of the reinforcement schedule, if any, so it's kind of hard to judge what it could turn into. Note, if you will gentle reader, the honor and poise I show in giving HIM the opportunity to continue the slaughter or go on to something that might prove his worthlessness ... I know, I know, I'm far too kind. But what does HE respond: Let's see where this is going. You are giving me some headaches at block two Now the infamous Block Two fell the next turn, just to put the proper spin on the ball. But this CLEARLY and IRREFUTABLY puts the lie to Berli's claim that HE wanted to end it. Have you no shame, Sir ... at long last have you no shame? Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 04-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harpooner Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 *kick* "ouch" *kick* "ouch!" *KICK!* "OUCH! Hey stop it already! I'll play you again, but only if I can sleep with your ex-girlfriend, deal? Alright! Game on! Hamsters smells of elderberries in the morning...it's pretty gross ...I'm not saying he's unclean or anything....but you can hear the fleas crawling on his nuts. ---------------> --------------> ------------------ "So be cheery, my lads, let your hearts never fail, While the bold harpooner is striking the whale!" -Nantucket Song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harpooner Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 I have to mention that while watching hamsters/meeks respond to a dozen or so pbem games, I only observed one battle where he was not winning handily. He is damn good...BUT someone is dicing him up with a Stuart(!) at the moment. By the way, I beat him yesterday...but he wreaked a terrible revenge for it on me today. All glory is fleeting. If you cannot stand a sting, Do not put your hand into a scorpion's nest. -Attar of Nishapur ------------------ "So be cheery, my lads, let your hearts never fail, While the bold harpooner is striking the whale!" -Nantucket Song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 I have lost it. Not in a drug-romantic kind of pink happy haze where I end up saying and doing fings that are pretty cool if you don't think about it too much. Kinda sorta like The Dude you know. Except it wasn't like that. Not at all. Quite the opposite. Au contraire. No, I've lost it in a more P.K. Dick "A scanner darkly" kind of way, like a broken toy that cannot be repaired and doesn't know that he's broken kind-of-way. And have you ever put on "Mountain Song" waaaay too loud when you were younger and sort of exploded into a world were headbanging was the only means of communication? They'll use another person now. Plural, yeah that's the ticket. Third. They could lose it properly. 5 hours of their life. Spent. Fixing. Computer. At. Night. Sothatthebloodythingcouldshowcombatmissioninallitsbloodyglory And how did they fix it? With a cork, dear Henry? Not bloody likely but possible all the same. Because they did fix it. At 0200 am bloody hours. Then they got up at 0530. That wasn't the problem. The problem is the way they made it work. How can others achive the same happy cheerful bliss that they felt when it finally loaded and the bitmap wasn't corrupted and everything suddenly was Hunky Dory? When the forces of Windows 2000 Professional collaborated with Leadtek and nVidia to deliver a fully 100% functional game of CM? Dunno. Not a clue. It shouldn't work but it did. And their head went pop like a blood red popcorn. ------------------ Johan "He could think in italics. You have to watch out for people like that." T. Pratchett Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by harpooner: Hamsters smells of elderberries in the morning...it's pretty gross ...I'm not saying he's unclean or anything....but you can hear the fleas crawling on his nuts. I'm glad you shared that with us! Yep, really glad *URK*. Perhaps we should take him to the vet and have him put down, it's the only decent thing we can do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Have you no shame, Sir ... at long last have you no shame? Sir Shaw my dear collegue, this is the cesspool, please get used to it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by Lawyer: Things are getting boring here. Where's Croda when you need him? Oh well, Dick Fickle is apparently back from his tryout to be the new leather biker in the Village People. Remember to brush you teeth after each meal, Dick. You pompous toad, I am the Original leather clad biker. My dentures do not require brushing after each meal, they need only a good soak at night. I have long wondered at the your propensity for spin and misinformation. From what mail-in source did you receive your degree? Would it surprise any reader of these festered felicities to learn that your sheepskin is really Croda scrotum? Back to your ambulance chasing old sod. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by Leeo: FeetDental Now who was the poster of late who declaimed the amazing originality of twisting names? I would add that the worn practice of changing a quote is the refuge of halfwits. you gob-searching, hump-swallowing git. These childish idioms of idiocy undoubtedly garner great praise and hand clapping from your classmates on the morning bus ride, here they only serve to highlight the assertion that “a mind is a terrible thing”. Your skill at the alliterative phrase is comparable to a dyslexic toddler who has been raised by strawberries. Your attempts at humour, flaccidly tried by stringing together phrases compiled of similar phonemes, are but drivel in the loo, as compared to the godlike renderings of yours truly. From which mythos of misspelling morons so you claim ascendance? Without your thesaurus, I suspect that you would soon devolve to licking at your own nether-regions (sit down,Bauhaus) as does my dog when he is contemplating the nature of the universe. I at least stay away from tired running jokes and hackneyed references to animal hygiene. Now run along and impress the other juveniles with your mastery of the thesaurus, you pigeon-toed, half-brained, hump-swallowing, "I want to get my ass kicked by the big boys", crotch-licking excuse for a CM-player wannabe. Your delineation of my status in the above, clearly demonstrates your understanding of how far above you my position is. For that I guess I should thank you, I won’t but it does show some promise. Back to your dish son. There’s a good lad. Your betters have all heard your whine and instructed the servants to give you first crack at the slop jars come morning. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. EDITED: Damn coding... ------------------ Winning is why we play! [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 04-03-2001).] [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 04-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Just a question, what the hell happened to the standards we used to have around here. Usta-be we would drive off halfwit poolsplashers like Leeo, DishWater and DekeFentle (not to mention the Federal Sponge that fancies himself a real Lawyer) with great big pointy sticks, and now we make them squires for Peng's sake. I know things have gone to hell when one of jd's squires actually starts winning games. Ah, for the days of Peng rants and Hiram pseudo-taunts. I think it began when we let in SteveThePlaguecarrier and WildWoman in with far too little grief. That and the departure of the French (can't have a good CessPool without the French). Of course I blame the Meeks/Hamsters/Sybil for this rift in the space-time continuum. The vermin started showing up shortly after that lump of polar bear excrement returned from whatever frozen wasteland he was visiting. I think he brought them back as parasites in his lower gut. In other news, jd continues to defend his title as the gamiest of all, with his use of the completely a-historical ass-end-first rabid attack Stug. Only the valiant efforts of my brave anti-tank-thingy lads saved the day with a PIAT shot from 130 m. SteveTheGit is learning that leading with your tanks is a highly effective technique if your primary objective is to have lots of dead tanks. WildChild displayed dazzling incompetence in losing the newbie challenge against the afore mentioned SteveTheMouse, but has the audacity to make some small display of tactical ability against his Kannigget, and killed most of my armor. No matter, I have decided to go WWI on his ass. ------------------ And one more thing...can someone explain the cesspool to me? I'd go myself, but I may have another psychotic episode and beat the hell out of everyone in there too! - Ancient query from an infant Croda [This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 04-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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