Lorak Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Ok, a quick Tome update: Croda-win Dalem-loss JD-win Berli-loss Lawyer has been added as "Consigliori" Game progress... Moriarty... Map is still pure hell. But I find I don't get as nervous if I can't see my guys dying. Iskander... Still being an artillery dropping, gamey ,SOB. GiTom... Few turns to go, Flags are all in the open no-mans land. We are now recreating a famous Civil war charge it seems. Croda and Goanna... I got a stange error when sending the turns to you today. Could you reply if you recieved them? If not I'll re-send them when I get home. Lorak the loathed ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Combatmissionclub and for Kitty's sake =^..^= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Originally posted by Lorak: Lawyer has been added as "Consigliori" Lorak the loathed Bless you, Lorak. Not only is my Consigliori status confirmed, but you actually got the numbers right. As a reward, I shall kill you when I get finished with some of these other gits. ------------------ Consigliori to the Stars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Originally posted by Lawyer: Now I, on the other hand, understand the way Real People look at laws. They don't want to follow laws. NO, they want a fix, pure and simple. They want to "get away with it!" Mace's first law: You can do whatever you like as long as you don't get caught. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Bless you, Lorak. Now that's gratitude for you. Lorak gets thanked for making a minor change to his board and what do I get? I who proposed the amendment and pushed it through with diligence? I get a crummy "jd is a gamey bastard" ... like we didn't know that already? I was hoping that Lawyer's elevation (sit down ... is Bauhaus back yet? It's not the same with Mace, he doesn't have that slack jawed, drooling look of incomprehension that we've come to know and love with Bauhaus ... besides I think Mace likes it) anyway, I was hoping that creating Consigliori Lawyer would net at LEAST a condemnation of jd AS TO HIS ACTIONS IN MY GAME! And then not to receive even a passing mention ... well I guess I was expecting too much, should have known better. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: And then not to receive even a passing mention ... well I guess I was expecting too much, should have known better. Joe Yes and yes. Surely, Don Shawleoni, you knew what you were getting into here. BTW, perhaps you should have the wife or a neighbor boy start up the car tomorrow... DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DAAAAHHHH.... ------------------ Consigliori to the Stars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roberto Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 "Man, it's like we hung out a sign or something: All useless main board wankers drop by and say something stupid on the new Peng thread and then never be seen again." Joe Shaw Hey Joe, I think your confusing me for the person that took your first born.. Hope your feeling better soon.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Roberto, pay Brother Shaw no mind. He is a crusty old curmudgeon with a pointy stick in his bottom. He will be my first victim, once I become a kniggit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Yes and yes. Surely, Don Shawleoni, you knew what you were getting into here. I forward the following from the firm of Guido, Guido and Guido, Collection Agents: Dear Mr. Lawyer, we has been detained by da Knight Joe Shaw for to assist him in da collection of his debt from youse to him. We has been sitting around da vise and ballpeen hammer here in da office and coginating on how best to persuade youse to comply wit da request of Knight Joe Shaw. We was also tinking dat it might be tough for a guy to play CM wit a couple of broken hands that got broke like on accident or somfin. We tinks you should do like Knight Joe Shaw wants. We REALLY tink dat would be a good idea for youse. We is lookin forward wit anticipating to hearin dat dis request has been compiled wit or even not. Yours in Collection, Guido, Guido and Guido Hope this helps to ... clear up ... our little misunderstanding Lawyer. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 03-30-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Hey Joe, I think your confusing me for the person that took your first born.. On second thought I've edited my post and shall refrain from futher comment. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 03-30-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 LOL, Joe, at least when you were a curmudgeon I respected you... But look at yourself... Showing mercy when someone starts sniffling.. Someday I will be a kniggit, and then you will pay for being someone I laugh at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Capt. Foobar, there are limits lad, even in the Pool, and when I cross the line I try to fix it if I can. Most people who show up here know what they're getting into and deserve what they get, others may not be as fully informed so ... As to YOU, however, I have no compunctions about deriding and dismissing you as the slug you are. Should the earth stop spinning on it's axis, should the Antarctic become a favored surfing location, should Seanachai develop a wit, on that day you may become a Knight ... but likely not. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Well, may I just say that I'm posting before even reading everything to get caught up, but I just want to vomit massively over the flood of lackwitted ****es that showed up to post on the first page of the new home. Leeo, although he largely seems to be an idjit, at least seems to be a devoted and evolved idjit who can follow an oft stated, recurring, and massively posted concept, which is: THE NEW HOME OF THE THREAD SHOULD HAVE 'PENG' AND 'CHALLENGE' IN THE TITLE. Peng does not even wish to be associated with this Thread any longer. That is, of course, not his choice. Much as I place Peng in the same class as my own internal fauna (for you non-Biologists, that would be the bacterial agents which aid me in digestion and are extremely important to me. Oh, and by digestion, read: aid me in dealing with the useless volume of ****e that appears here). Peng must acknowledge that he is no longer a free being. No, Peng old chum, you are a 'concept' now (I would share your pain, but, actually, I don't have to, so instead I will chuckle a bit and put on another 'Battlefield Band' CD). As such, Peng is no longer in control of the use of his own identity. But, you insufficiently evolved, pre-sentient poster children, that does not mean that the whole Thread revolves around PENG. Although, after consultation with various vile (and, if their emails are anything to go by, extremely drunk, attorneys) in compensation for the continued vulgar use of his identity, the entire Thread and everything in it does, in fact, belong to Peng. However, even the most useless, dim, pointless, and mentally challenged members of the Peng Challenge Thread should be able, at least once a fortnight, to grasp the F'ing fact that the new home of the Peng Challenge Thread should involve both the words Peng and Challenge. Have you lot no sense of place? No sense of community? No sense of Cess? This is a goddamn Challenge Thread, not some 'barometer of intelligence' to find how many posters can remember "another word other than the strange and humorous word Peng!" But never mind me. No, all you 'members' of the Peng Challenge Thread who haven't the goddamn brains to pour piss out of your own boot despite the fact that you've been informed that the instructions are printed on the bottom of the heel, please continue to impress us with the ability to post like Rommel25 or Maximus, or any number of other lackwits that show up here periodically to reassure everyone that they've proven themselves to be on the cutting edge of wanton stupidity, and can soil their own clothing without stopping to concentrate. You'll be in large company. I doubt we can get a group photo of you all, even using a fish-eye lens. Or even a view from space. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Okay you schmucks! I'm still barely trying to cope with the fact that SteveZeBrat is one of us and here you are happily Penging away with a friggin bucketload of newbies!! Who are those anyway? Seeing as I'm still the only French Pooler and in that quality am offering nothing much of value whatsoever (well I do have nude pics of one of us Poolers mind you) you'll have to talk slowly or mime part of it... Who is shagging whom and what's an Iskander?!! Come to think of it what's an Agua Perfido too?! On the PBEM front I must confess I have been slaggin some. YES!!!!! That's my coming out you petulant and joyful buggers. I had been thinking about my Inner Croda when I had an Inner Seanachai all along. Yukk... Anyway, for those of you who were fondling with their cordless mouse while it was posted I WON OVER GERMANBOY. The over use of capitalization isn't indicative of the surprise I had since Andreas is STILL to win anything over me. But it's always cool to step on the pride of one of those neighbouring Krauts when you're a Frog... German are quite charming and they love our country so much that they are prone to do some heavily tracked and armored tourism every now and then. But that was BM (Before Me in the PawBroonian Calendar of sending turns back). Faking an education and a gentleman attitude, GB actually offered to dump our current game because I was loosing and it might be hard on me. SCHMUCK!!! I'm FRENCH, I am BORN a LOOSER tis practically a brand name. What other countries misjudged for a long period of peace in France was in fact a civil war which had been raging since 1954 and where neither side was winning... But I did win. I'm sorry. Never trust a cornered Frog. Unless it was "Never eat a corned beef". Never mind the Morlocks anyway. One must also admit that I am sort of loosing against Cardboard AFV and that I have no shame about that because I don't know what shame is. And now cometh Baldishtingen. After a LONG streak of draws, that one is clearly a winner for him. He sent me a screenshot and his Stug'O'Death is TC'ed by Moriarty. Now I feel insulted! I demand a game from you Sherlock!!! An all armor PBEM, Stugs for you and M8s for me. 1000Pts ME. Sheeesh!!! Dan you bugger! That's ONLY 25% victory. You might say it's 100% of all wins but I've learned not to trust Yanks with survey. That's it. Now you may resume your activities... ------------------ You are not Obsessive-CMpulsive, you are Allied-Retentive. Mark IV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Achtung! ÜberLizard Update Lorak let it be written that the forces of scalyness have once again achieved the utter topplement of Hell’s half-sister Berli in a tenacious defense of some small burg somewhere in eastern France. So small was it that it really should be referred to as a burgette, but not confused with a bagette which was part of my tasty lunch. There were also no dispatches from the front, and hence no one mentioned in them, since the SonderLizards were waiting for any action of significance to report from the US commander which was not forthcoming. By the numbers then: Axis (Goanna): 45 casualties (13 KIA) 1 gun and 1 Flakwagon lost – WIN(77 pts) Allies (Berli): 226 casualties (68 KIA) 3 mortars 3 tanks and one mg jeep lost – LOSS(20 pts) Word has it that I will be breaking with tradition and commanding the corn-fed lads in the ubiquitous rematch against an unrestricted setup. I read this to mean one that is more gamey than a three week old, dead, bloated, rotten deer that had been feeding on nothing but willows, cabbage and expired Old Milwaukee prior to being killed by some falling blue ice. In other news, Elvis has lost another VL to the plodding green hun and suffered a severe morale defeat as well by having his AVRE ventilated prior to it’s being able to lob its blobs of death anywhere near my spearhead. The crew is currently being turned into sheesh kebab to the delight of the sodden mob. It’s kinda like Woodstock out there. Pass the blotter would you? The return of Marlow, though only for one turn again before he disappears to hell know where means I am one more turn closer to the end of testing his bottom belch of a scenario. The secret is out and my elite Polish troops (which are quite fun by the way, I recommend everyone splurge now and again and try out these smartly moving sims) are creating overruns so quickly that I will be on MarkVI’s radio calling for his arty any minute now. Pshaw has ground to a halt, Peng has gone AWOL, Lorak needs to re-send his last turn as I didn’t get it, Moriarty has begun doing the Moriarty thing and OGSF and Speedy have decided to quit stuffing around and begun dying with haste. Hamsters is the only opponent I am currently playing that is, well, to put it simply, kicking my ass. I have succeeded only in providing him with a more schizophrenic reply than the text that accompanied his last turn. [This message has been edited by Goanna (edited 03-31-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Lorak! The long string of draws is at an end! Berli: WIN Pawbroon (nasty French sort): Lost And, yes, that does give me 100% of all wins in our games Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Seanachai old chum, be it noted that I did represent to the lads that both the word PENG and the word CHALLENGE were to be included in the thread title. Represented most strongly I did and with emphasis as well AND, as an extra added advantage available for a short time only I personally took the vile PeterNZer to task for his gross failure. Nonetheless, the lads, acting much like sheep following Mace, gravitated to this thread DESPITE it's clearly unconventional title. I did my part, I did, and remonstrating with me shall do you less than no good as I'll continue to destroy your AFVs in bushel loads as I've been doing since turn 4 or so. Have I mentioned that I haven't lost ONE AFV whilst you have had several destroyed by my brave lads? Didn't think so and wanted to remedy the situation. Pshaw has ground to a halt, Once again we see the violence inherent in the system ... sorry, they've been playing Monty Python non-stop since last night and ... well you know how it is. Goanna continues to blame ME for the defects of his foreign ISP. He sends a turn on Tuesday, I reply the same day and it takes him until Friday to realize, "What Ho, I've yet to receive a turn from that Joe chap! I say, best ring him up." Then, when I send it to BOTH his ISPs just to be sure the gamey bastard gets it, he complains that I'm filling his home mailbox. I have three points of analysis regarding his concern: (1) It's HIS mailbox getting filled, not mine, and therefore I don't care. (2) If he can't persuade these foreign types to get their act together (in an ISP sort of way, of course. Can't expect world peace can we.) it's not my fault and I don't care. (3) If he wants another turn from me in which I continue his topplement he'll bloody well take the turns any way he can get them ... Oh ... and I don't care. There you have it, carry on with your parrots and lumberjacks and so forth. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 03-31-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Originally posted by Goanna: [bOGSF has decided to quit stuffing around and begun dying with haste Ne'er let tha truth get ain tha way o' a pile o' bull****e, eh laddie? Ye boys are scuttlin' aboot lak a pack o' cockroaches, ainly tae be crunchily squished whene'er they pop their wee haids oop. Bastaarrd. Sir MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Lorak We regret to inform you (not really) that our dear Ozzie cousin Mace has succumbed to the ÜberPanther from Hell whose exploits I have previously chronicled. Suffice to say, Unt. Orthman has managed to savage the major part of Mace's armor with 7 kills of various sorts of Mace's afv's. All the while being hunted down by those self same seven. Lest I be accused of "being gamey", Macey had Hellcats, Jumbos and M4A3(76)w's out after my sole Panther, who, Alien like plucked them off one by one. So record thusly: jd - win mace - loss In other news we have a Smarlow sighting with a turn in our mailbox, however since said turn does entail the loss of one of my tanks, I apparently "Never received it!" But fair Ted, I caution you, I am most dangerous after wasting the vast bulk of my armor. Apparently my mind can only deal with 1-2 tanks at a time, but I do that pretty well. Ask Mace. ------------------ •Non illegitimi carborundum est •If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram [This message has been edited by jd (edited 03-31-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Originally posted by Mark IV: Geier: Idiot Savant For next week's session, I shall have him set up a Dell laptop with Windows 2000, Office 2000, and a Novell network connection, and then have him configure a dial-up connection. Yes, it is harsh; but these troubled young minds must be toughened to function in the real world, lest they become a drag on the public weal. Heck, even I can do that! Turns are on the way to all. Horrible Novell Bordermanager VPN crashed and burned and would not let me fix or do somfink until I actually read TIDs from the suuport web site. Amazing what one can find there. All is well and my arse continues to get kicked by many. Have a nice day. ------------------ That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Howdy, simps. I'm back from my holiday. I've also had more drinks than I've had hours of sleep in the past 24 hrs, so ain't nothing gonna happen until I sleep a full 8 hr night, after which I will, preferably, be woken by a pomegranate-lipped virgin houris with a penchant for fellatio. But yes, I am back. New York rocks your face. ------------------ Soy super bien soy super super bien soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted March 31, 2001 Share Posted March 31, 2001 Originally posted by Chupacabra: I'm...a virgin... I've... a penchant for fellatio. Careful, we all got decoder rings while you were gone. Sounds like you enjoyed yourSELF. [This message has been edited by Mark IV (edited 03-31-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest YK2 Posted April 1, 2001 Share Posted April 1, 2001 *YAWN* *Stretches* rubs eyes* looks around* then *Pinches* herself in disbelief. Sheesh, thank god for that, I am dreaming.... for a second there I thought I had stumbled into yet another PENG THREAD..... but nope alas tis only a NIGHTMARE........Part one, two three four...................... *Turns over and goes back to sleep* P.S. Thanks to all concerned for the Birthday Greetings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 1, 2001 Share Posted April 1, 2001 Hmm, in a recent exchange of emails with the tendentious Joe Shaw, or, as I affectionately think of him 'Old Foul Joe', we had a bit of a go around as to which of the Peng Challenge Thread posters is the most boring. I maintain, of course, that Joe Shaw could Bore for America in the Olympics, should it ever become an event, while Shaw claims that my wordy, over-educated (in an American sort of way, not true education, mind), and obscure posts often reduce nearby posts to the level of boring by proximity. I, then, quite rightly pointed out that Mr Shaw's posts, especially if they go beyond 3 sentences, often fill the reader with a sense of ennui that takes away the very will to live. Shaw countered that the few individuals who actually read any of my posts all the way to the end most often voluntarily chose the loss of higher cerebral function, and ended up as shut-ins watching endless reruns of Gilligan's Island and Three's Company, as they found more challenging entertainment painful. From there, of course, our intellectual discussion deteriorated somewhat to the grosser forms of name-calling. So, I wish to put this to the Peng Challenge Thread community: Which of us, Seanachai or Joe Shaw, do the members find more boring? Or do you have a third, write-in candidate in mind? You can simply vote, or, if stringing words together isn't too much of a challenge, you can explain not only who you find more boring, but why. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 1, 2001 Share Posted April 1, 2001 Originally posted by Maximus: Shouldn't the title be "All your Peng are belong to us"? No, it should have been: "All your Challenges are belong to Peng" And, may I also say, that despite my ranting over the naming convention quibble, that I find the PeterNZer's choice of that unutterably bizarre website as the inspiration for the new Peng Challenge Thread name completely hilarious. I desire him to die much later than many of the rest of you. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 1, 2001 Share Posted April 1, 2001 Originally posted by Stuka: I love the smell of peng in the morning. Well, clearly the Honeymoon is over, and the weirdness has reached disturbing levels. Here, one of the young, well-groomed, and attractive members of the Thread stand by to console Stuka's wife when this comes out in court. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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