Welcome to Peng Challengeville!

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan:

A Letter to the Cesspool

Dear Cesspool inhabitants,

Please don't vote me out of the cesspool. I've contributed much in the last 9 months. We all know what can grow in 9 months. I've sounded off often and have been berated for it. I apologized too, and was verbally castigated for those mistakes. My time spent in here splashing amongst you has been fun (for me).

I remember when I first tentavely placed a toe in the pool and Seanachai welcomed me while Berlichten readied his flamethrower. He and Professor Doctor Hamster X were ready to filet me. Only my "squatters" rights helped me during those times. JDMorse and Moriarty have become my uncles and Elvis has become my hero. As I grow and shave my back, I strive to become more like MRPeng. I also disdain smileys and suffer from the affliction of flatulence and verbosity. I wish I could play all of you in PBEM's but its not possible or probable.

In closing, I ask that you remember me when you do your Cesspool council and that you ask yourselves "What would Scooby do?"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I find that I must respond to this (roight, shut up you lot, it's not clever to point out that I find the need to respond to hundreds of things, and at great length).

I did indeed welcome you in, Hiram...er Phan (good gods, I feel like I've adopted a Vietnamese orphan who's found the need to return to his roots). And Berli would indeed have turned you into a tri-tip roast (whatever in the name of Carnieglory, god of meat, that might be), but pity stayed his hand ('pity I can't find my zippo', we all heard him mutter).

JD Morse and Moriarity are your uncles? Fine, I can accept that; you're ready for a stint as an altar boy, then, because you know the territory.

But Elvis is your hero?! And you want to become more like Peng?!

None bear more love or greater loathing for Peng than myself. I began this whole ongoing carnival specifically because of Peng. But Hiram...er, Phan. You must not strive to be more like Peng. Firstly, it would break your Mother's heart. Secondly, it is far beyond your means to stay equal with the alcohol consumption, unless you are the heir to the Seagram's empire. And finally, because, lad, you must strive to be more like yourself!

All eyes tear up as Seanachai begins the standard lesson to young people encouraging them not to emulate aging, vicious drunkards of low moral standing, but rather encourages them to 'find their own way'

Hiram...er, Phan, you are the future! With another thousand hours of game play, and tutoring by the finest military academies on the planet, you will become a very adequate, perhaps even good, Combat Mission player! Did you not achieve a draw against the mighty Mark IV? (ignore the reports that the victory...er, non-loss happened to coincide with his bi-weekly tribute to 'Scotch, May My Blood Cease to Dilute It's Flow in My Veins!')

Peng is the past, lad. Don't you think that Peng and I, when we're finally checked into that special, geriatric ward at Betty Ford, want the Thread in the hands of young, vibrant folk like yourself?

And Elvis? Elvis lives in South Philadelphia, for God's sake! You might as well idolize Sylvester Stallone!

Phan...er, Hiram...er, oh bugger it! When are we going to finish that game, you little horror? Vote you out of the Cesspool, who ever heard of such tripe?! You've been watching too much bad television.

[ 05-03-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Stuka's ISP has not cut him off, but his wife apparently has. Shame on both counts.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, so you want some too do you, fat boy?

Come get some! (Isn't that what the tough Marines' say. They did in "Aliens" anyway)

Man, I'm gonna have to get me a bigger mantlepiece. Waiting...waiting, no, no double entandre there, Bauhaus you may carry on.

[BFCElvis]

Hey Seanachai, while there ar some parts of Philadelphia that will tell you that South St. marks the border for South Philly I am here to tell you that Washington St. is the "Mason/Dixon line". Being that I could putt to South St because it is only a block away I must point out that I am not in South Philly. I do speak it very well...but I do not live there.

Here are a couple examples of South Philly speak:

Jieat (pronounce JA eat) meaning have you eaten or did you eat.

Whodontknowdat (pronounced HOO doan no dat) meaning that is something everyone knows or who doesn't know that.

There are many others I can pass on if you are interested.

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle:

Oh Stuky Puky your sniveling squire will soon post the results of his failing. Once again The Whuppin’ boy has pummeled house Stuka and embarrassed it’s simpleton of a squire. Will there be a response from the pontiff of this maleficent manor? I doubt it. Any Kinnegit worthy of the title would leap to defend his good/bad name and Stuka you are definitely NOT worthy.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sir Stuka! I humble and prostrate myself before thee. The Fentelator speaks truth. He hath wretchedly, and with extreme prejudice, put a spank-down upon your one, and truly devoted squire (notice the groveling before thee? Notice my supplication (and the foul olfactory intrusion of defeat?)?).

However, the Fentle is, dare I utter the sentence, a WITCH! Burn, him I say, for he hath forsaken the fog of war, and has endeavored, with malice afore-thought, to scry, yeah verily read the inscrutable mind of yours truly. I placed, and fought valiantly, in thy name, a company of Sturm-troopers, supported by pill-boxes, the (obligatory) Panther, a hetzer, and other general support-type units. He defeated them. I'd blame him, in the nature of the Cess, and poke him with a sharp stick. However, I fear greatly that upon poking, he will ooze virulent forms of defeat, for he is, by his own hand, the Whuppin' Boy.

It is with great disappointment that I must turn his Whuppin' to you, as you are more than capable, Sir Stuka, of handing him his hat.

Yours in disgrace, in this, The Year of My Downfall, Leeo.

Lorak! Please scribe thusly;

Deke Fentle; Magic-assisted win, demonstrating extreme witch-like behavior.

Leeo; Loss due to freaky gypsy-like mind-contol.

I'd like to say more to the rest of you, but my fingers grow weary upon the keyboard, and you are but as telemarketers to my attention span.

Had I the effort, and you the worth, I'd tell you all to bugger off.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Spudhumper:

…embarisked ….<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ahem! About your literary standards.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I find myself struggling to maintain consciousness….The only way in which I may gain a modicum or respect for you is if you accept this challenge. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I see, the very effort of processing a thought in that 1 brain cell you possess saps your strength, and renders you unconscious

As for a challenge, refer to my loyal and wonderful squire, Armornut – He needs the frequent CM points to rack up his much deserved knighthood!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by a recently paroled Lorak:

D) FPS's really calm me down after a bad day at work. Nothing like running around killing your friends<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Lorak, we normally play RS in the spirit of co-operation and mutual support against mutual enemies – however, a grenade has been lobbed in the wrong direction on occasion (mainly towards me).

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by some damned CM intellectual, or Seanachai, I forget:

You must resist the urge to go trolloping about with these sorts of games. Oh, some RPG now and again, perhaps some TB Strategy, but online FPSs and such are the work of the devil, and, as everybody knows, lead to nervous tics, angry letters to the editor, and school shootings. Do you really want to encourage those sorts of things?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Playing these games does not *twitch* lead to nervous tics, angry letters to the editor, and school shootings, and if you continue with such posts I will be around to blow you *twitch* effing brains out!!!!!!!!!!,…… but only after I send this letter of complaint to the local newspaper.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer – who gives decent public servants everywhere a bad name:

Mace continues to live and post on the forum, no matter what humiliation he suffers<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Especially that of being mentioned by the likes of you

Mace (Rogue Spear / Urban Ops bullet magnet)

[ 05-04-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Loathe as I am to agree with you on any point...actually does agree with me, which is surprising, but pointless, so you're all spared

...I seem to recall sometime in the recent future past that you called some sort of a blood hamster on all Antipodeons. I call you out for the kind of slapping that...goes on a bit of a boast, propping up his spirits by making lewd gestures towards his ancestral enemies, the New Zealanders...

Bauhaus' skull has been neatly mounted on the mantlepiece above my fire and I have a small 'reserved' sign in the space adjacent.

Should you choose to die eloquently and by the numbers, I may even relocate...hopefully to another dimension, especially having made mock of Bauhaus's skull, which he's not even fit to wipe with preservative wax

I could go on and on but that is not my way.an obvious lie, and if he were even remotely eloquent, I'd fear for my status as the 'Bard of the Peng Challenge Thread'. Fortunately he's as thick as two short planks laid on top of each other across Bauhaus's skull.

In short, the finger points at you!

The spotlight is on and the fans are staring.

Now watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when Stukey comes for you?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I can only hope you mean that last bit in a thoroughly 'military' sort of way (yes, Bauhaus, we were both perturbed).

It is true that, some time ago, I set out to crush and destroy all Australians. So far, this has met with mixed results. I did, quite handily, if a bit weakly, defeat Mace. But then, in an unfairness of the Universe that still smarts, I was narrowly defeated by Goanna. Presently, I am playing the Aussie answer to Jonathan Swift, Simon Fox. This looks good for me, but not out of tactical brilliance, but rather because the scenario designer half-wittedly made the game too short by 5-10 turns. I knew, from early on, that I would have to eventually put both you and Speedy in your places.

I shall begin, then, with you, Stuka.

I doubt that I am the only one on the Thread who has actually come to regret the very invention of the motorcycle, as it's non-existence would have spared us all the endless boasting and cock-posturing (yes, Phan, it does have something to do with chickens) of Stuka.

Stuka, Stuka, Stuka, what can I say of you? We all recognize you as that rather disturbing boy (there was one in every school), who wandered about with his fly open, shirt tails pulled out of it to either side, piping "look, there's a bunny in my pants! Anyone want to touch it's pink nose?" until you were finally taken away for 'home schooling'. Time went on, but the boy remained the same. Now, you parade among us here in the Peng Challenge Thread, and though the words are (slightly) different, you are still that same, slackly smiling, twittering youngster deemed 'most likely to go off his meds and perpetrate a horror' that you always were.

Therefore, I will send you a set up. Not merely as part of my masterwork, which is to crush all Australians; nor as mere payback for your sometimes nasty handling of Peng Challenge stalwarts. No, Stuka, I will send you a set up because I still feel the horror associated with that thin, childish voice proclaiming 'there's a bunny in my pants', and I wish to exorcise the memory by defeating you.

Oh, also, if I win, I get your wife. Seen the pictures over on Lorak's site, and she looks a bit of alright.

[ 05-04-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>... but pity stayed his hand ('pity I can't find my zippo', we all heard him mutter).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Plagarism Alert, Plagerism Alert, calling all Attornies

Knights, Squires and Consigliori of the CessPool it is my sad duty to report that Sir Seanachai has committed the sin, the crime of posting as original wit the works of another, and the published works at that. The "pity stayed his hand" line is taken, almost word for word, from that classic of literature ... Bored of the Rings by the staff of the Harvard Lampoon. For shame, Sir Seanachai ... for shame.

Joe

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

(Isn't that what the tough Marines' say. They did in "Aliens" anyway)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

They also said: "that's it man....game over! game f*cking over", and then died (eventually)

Mace

[Abbott]

Alien's are gamey!

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Plagarism Alert, Plagerism Alert, calling all Attornies...

...from that classic of literature ... Bored of the Rings by the staff of the Harvard Lampoon. For shame, Sir Seanachai ... for shame.

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Guilty, but sod you Shaw for ratting me out. I would have attributed the same if:

1)My already and normally convoluted sentence structure hadn't precluded it in terms of making any sense at all.

and

2)I decided that those who would know, would know. Not unlike quoting Shakespeare, you pompous toad; you don't automatically assume that everyone who reads it would assume it was your own work of eloquence, and for those who would think that you were the first to utter 'To be or not to be', well, sod them and throw the handi-wipe in after them, I say.

Now, shouldn't you be dying in a dramatic fashion in our PBEM, rather than hopping from foot to foot here and pointing me out to the proctors?

Plagiarism, forsooth. I've already made more literary allusions than you'll ever pick up on in what remains of your tawdry life, trust you to scream like a motherless babe over one unattributed reference!

[ 05-04-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>trust you to scream like a motherless babe over one unattributed reference!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bah! do you think I'd have objected to your quoting without attribution from some scribbler like Willie? You can use Steinbeck and Lord Byron for all I care, but when you dip your wit from Bored of the Rings I say you've gone too far! We're talking the Classics here boyo, just look at the characters ... Frito, Goodgulf, Spamwise and Arrowshirt, Dildo the Ringbearer and of course ... Goddam. Choose your readers with more care next time, there are the literate among us.

Joe

[Mark IV]

You forgot the Nozdruls. And the description of the boggie village as the leavings of a dragon which had suffered a series of disappointing and untidy bowel movements (from memory, but the gist of the thing).

The veritable spoor of your posts, Mr. Shaw.

[MrSpkr]

Gee Joe, I'm not surprised that you've read young Frito's adventures. I've always suspected your battle motto is "You hold them off! I'll circle round!" or some such thing.

By the way, seen any Ballhogs lately? (down Bauhaus)

Updates-

Leeo's troops have apparently decided that it is better to get the inevitable over with and are lining up ppolitely to be killed.

Speedbump's forces have already began deserting as they heard my troops prepare for the advance.

Mace is sitting on a setup, for some reason.

I despise you all, particularly the attorneys.

MrSpkr

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The veritable spoor of your posts, Mr. Shaw.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm not surprised that YOU would turn out to be a Scatologist Mark IV, your posts reek of it, but I am surprised that you are able to quote from great works. First MrSpkr and his fried okra and now you with Bored of the Rings ... there IS good in everyone ... barring the inevitable exceptions.

Joe

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>By the way, seen any Ballhogs lately?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>For extra credit, what was written in cruel runes across his chest?

[ 05-04-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

For extra credit, what was written in cruel runes across his chest?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Villanova.

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Villanova.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Drat. Beat me to it!

One other question - was Mace a Rider of Roitan in a previous life?

MrSpkr

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Villanova.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Right, so that's 5 points for the extra credit ... and -36 points for the THEFT!

Joe

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

payback for your sometimes nasty handling of Peng Challenge stalwarts.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, back to that again are we?

I would have thought that 'he of whom we speak' could fight his own battles without his uncle Seanoochy doing it for him. However that is all in the distant past and I feel all the better for it as my dance card is now filling out nicely.

"Lest old acquaintence be forgot"...or sumfink.

On another, brighter note. It was not a bunny, it was an elephant. What sort of school did you go to anyway?

I now maneuoveur over my in-box with glee, blunting my sabre in the process 'till it is too dull to sever your limbs and I must resort to clubbing you to death with the heavy end.

Toodles.

[OGSF]

Ye stankin', fetid, trail o' sloppy-plops.

Hiram, Ah'll nae vote ye oot - cuz yer noo worth tha pencil lead tae cast a vote wi'.

Ah've a million games gwin ain, an' ainly Mace as gettin' slapped aboot properly. Ootrageous luck an' misfortune, plus tha native tactical acumen o' a haddock, ha' seen mae strugglin' ain tha majority. Feckless, spotty arsed bastarrrds.

Mensch ye babblin' looney - send mae a turn, cos ye tha other bright spot.

Bastaarrrds.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

I'm still reeling from the M10 O'Satan, with 3 Panthers to its credit.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Mu..Mu..MuahahhhaaAhaaaaaaa!

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

I demand that my skull be hung above Bauhaus's (and in a well lit, climate controlled environment so I can see what the little sod is up to<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why thank you for voicing your concerns. I shall hang you skull IN FRONT of Bauhaus'. That way, with Bauhaus behind you, you will always know what he is up to

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

with Bauhaus behind you, you will always know what he is up to<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

or feel what he is up to.

[MrSpkr]

Good lord. In another game (non-pool -- yes, yes, I know what can happen when you play with strangers -- (SIT Bauhaus, SIT!)), I just had an artillery spotter with 144 confirmed kills, 4 mortars and a field gun.

The 150mm O' Death! Give those men a medal!

MrSpkr

[ 05-04-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Stuka]

Urgent message, Urgent message!

I am interrupting my playing of CM turns to bring you all this message of joy.

(especially dedicated to those of you who have seen fit to mention my lovely wife in despatchs)

She who must be obeyed has just this minute arrived home from work, strode purposely into my computer room and announced......"theres nothing on TV tonight, how about we watch Saving Private Ryan again?"

Yes Yes, I know its great to be me.

Now back to your horrid little lives.

Shoo! Shoo!

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by harpooner:

Yeah, you too, mensch. And send me a goldang turn!!!! It's been a week already.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

uh.. send me a return file.. the last one we had.. I am sure I sent something to you.. but between me and you I think mr. Mailer Daemon ate it.