Croda Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: Gee willikers Kitty!!! Where's you get a picture of Croda's mother??? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh lowest of the low! Herr Below the Belt, I am of a mind to take you back out into the fog and shoot in your general direction, you wank-wanking wanker! Watch your step, or I'll throw dalem's dog's teeth at you! As for impending topplements: Shandorff brewed up my Pershing. Like that would ever happen. I just realized I dumped 9,000 rounds of arty on 1 platoon of jd "mid-life-crisis" morse's hamstertrupen, and I am not pleased. Von Shrad is maneuvering to kill me more. I surrendered to Berli because everybody was dead. I called a cease-fire with Anubis because everybody was hiding in the trees. The Knight's Challenge has been reduced to waiting another 25 turns for the paniced old men to take to the field again. Hiram is too busy trying to figure out just why a team can't win in the playoffs with a 45 year old tailback to send me a turn. MarkIV is a weenie. I'd have surrendered to him by now, but I can't stand hitting the keystroke. Basically, I'm losing on many fronts. Everyone is cheating and I'm getting pissed. ------------------ WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! - THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO. MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!! must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty: (Places the Mask of Shame on mensch's head. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> oh great.. kick a guy when his boxershorts are down, and its windy! geez now I not only have to exist without my CM with only Star Craft to play... she puts a funny face mask thing on me .. I go pout now. as to you ozzies.... you always have a mask of shame.. cuz when the world comes to an end.. you get it a day before us....!!! LOSERS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Oh Puhlease. I've gotten more imaginative ribbing from my little sister. You bandwagon fans need to do better than that. I'm here with my wound waiting for some salt. Filthy mongrels. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Salt?? Why I didn't think any additional salt was needed. The poor performance reigstered by the Eagles should have been salt enough... ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flipper Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 test Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Flipper: test<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> hey flipper... get a fecking life and test some other place.. we got enough brainless twits here, just look at Mace, Stucca, Seanachai, OSGF, Gerbilmanboy, Parbroom, and the lot... not a synaps between the lot of them... me.. Im just insane... rather insane then the lot of those gits fighting over the use of the one braincell that is being tossed around Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch: hey flipper... get a fecking life and test some other place.. we got enough brainless twits here, just look at Mace, Stucca, Seanachai, OSGF, Gerbilmanboy, Parbroom, and the lot... not a synaps between the lot of them... me.. Im just insane... rather insane then the lot of those gits fighting over the use of the one braincell that is being tossed around<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> All right mensch. Hand over the brain cell and you won't get hurt. You got to post your seven sentences of drivel (as if you could call them sentences). Crawdad, you have not seen how low I can go. As punishment (again), I shall send you a setup this time, where I shall pummel your poor hurting little club-footed, gimp-walking, palsy-afflicted troops into submission. And no fewking fog or mist this time. I want to be able to watch the eyes of your troops pop open wide when they realize that the speeding little nugget of metal headed their way has their name on it. At the risk of sounding like Pawbroon... En garde, salle cochon! ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... [This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 01-08-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wildman Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 Marlow, That was wonderful, I laughed, I cried, I even voted for you in the People's Choice Awards. However, to continue the story. --- Outside Hotel Peng, Wildman, current WWF Smackdown Hardcore Champion is heard muttering, "No respect, I get no respect!" While in the background a faint voice is heard. "Hey newbie, send a setup." Hunching his shoulders against the rain Wildman stumps around to the back of Hotel Peng and down into the Cesspool. Kneeling in front of the disgusting slime he contemplates the future. After several minutes he gets up and walks into the CESS. After hours, even the whole weekend of soaking in the rage and hate that is part of the CESS, he gets out and now ready to unleash hell's own fury onto his first unwitting drunken victim, he sends the set-up. After cleaning up, he was walking to the bar again, knowing that lush Croda and his sidekick Shagmeoff would still be there. On the way he noticed a funning looking plywood boat on the beach, in very bad condition. Pushing open the doors to the bar, he steps in and notices he's prey. After peering around his sidekick, Croda notices the USAF cap. "Oh you, didn't I send you away? Aren't you awed by my greatness, and disgusted by sidekick?" "Frankly yes I am disgusted by your slack-jawed, pointy nose, malignant dwarf of a sidekick, however that is just greater impetus to send you shrieking in agony after I maul you in battle." "The file is sent and I await your answer you poor excuse for...for...for...Heck, I'm not sure what your aiming for but your a poor excuse for it." As Wild walks out the door the last thing at enters Croda's last three remaining brain cells is "You feeling lucky, PUNK!" FADE to BLACK --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 420: I fully endorse your remedy to my second assesment<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I wondered which 420 you meant. So what time is it? And you might want to check out the "Combat Mission Hit" thread. The 'Pool may be mutha-beautiful, but that thread is sublime. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 Hiram's Sad Game Updates PetersNeezer Two PBEM's on hold until he finds his special purpose. I wish him well. Cro Diddly Infantry vs Infantry and Artillery. I won't say "fight fair" because we all know that his pants are on fire. I think by the time my troops are done moseying to his part of the map, they will have lost interest. OberslappintickelSnorer He gave me the ominous "I know something you don't know" like the cartoon cowboy. Should I be frightened or should I continue destroying his armor? Sean-the-hoe Takin it easy. I give slow turns and he gives slow turns. I still wonder who is going to win. Seriously. At least he has stopped threatening to eat my cat. He did a good job of artying the hell out of one of my platoons. Good Job! Shandy Duncan Wheat thins were too powerful for me. The force is too strong. The gravity of that Huge Butt was too much for me. Do want you want to the mrs....just don't sit on me. Burlington, VT Smoke and mirrors. I feel like I have front seats to a magic show. I'm waiting for the damn rabbit. any second now... Douche Junge When the planets align, when Peng is in his holy temple, and when Sinead O'Connor makes a comeback: That is when we will begin to play. Patton was the best. The best I tell you. Ground Control to Whom? New game, canned scenario. I wish him well. If I were scared, would I have challenged him? Makes ya wonder. Marblogna Snowy graves for everyone. Artillery is a wonderful thing. I like tanks and arty. Unfortunately, they are british tanks and my license expired. They drive on the wrong side of the map too. Has left the building Knowing you share in my pain doesn't lessen it any. When all is said and done, we both bleed green. Go Eagles! I'm still waiting for the stupid file, Hammerhead. Here is my typical disclaimer: I probably forgot some people. Deal with it. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 Okay, when the hell did I become Cruuuud-da's sidekick? Hmmm?! For christ sake! I may be the dual .50 cal gunner on his PBR but I am NOT his side kick Wildbutt! Get it straight! Grrrr.... Needless to say Cruuud-da is getting mad at me for killing his tanks in our 5000 pointer. So far I have lost only one PzIV and that was because I was taking a risk. So far HE has lost 1 Sherman, 1 TD, and 1 Pershing. Also I got a front upper hull penetration on one of his M4A1s. How on earth it survived I do not now, but it did. In the meanwhile his infantry move farther and farther away from his armored assets and right into my flesh rendering machine. All is well, Jeff ------------------ I once killed a six pack just to watch it die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Beman Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 Hear ye, hear ye! Greetings from the Lord Humungus! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Roller. He has deigned to visit your worthless meanderings with his omnipotent greatness. All hail! DjB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: I just realized I dumped 9,000 rounds of arty on 1 platoon of jd "mid-life-crisis" morse's hamstertrupen, and I am not pleased.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>About par for your military genius. I know you suscribe to the "hit 'em where they ain't" school of artillery. The funny thing it wasn't even a full platoon Crud-boy <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Basically, I'm losing on many fronts. Everyone is cheating and I'm getting pissed. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Yep that's about right also. Its so nice to see that there are some verities in the world. One is that you seem incapable of managing these cyber forces with any degree of coherency or competency. On other fronts.... The ritual welcoming scourging and flagellation (followed by entombment) has been applied to our dear Egyptian colleague, nincompoop Mr. Anubis has learned that the tannis leaves he sought do not grow well in the colder climes of northern Europe. He further learned that he can't manage armor worth squat, that a Stuart beats a lynx but that is about it. Lets put it this way, his crews managed to cause more damage and vexation than his generalship. Unfortunetly, because of said vexacious behavior, certain unavoidable war crimes were committed. War is hell. So Lorak Scribe of the pool, please inscibe: jd-win ninjis-loss As to our southern cousins, I am in the process of hunting down the broken and scattered units that Macedintheface has. I beleive he has run through about 50 Chaffee's and my KT supply is depleted as well. However, the victory conditions have been acheieved so only minor partisan activity is possible. I suppose that we could see the "gamey tactic" of 45 bailed crews massing for a banzai charge of a KT parked on the Victory Location. Could be interesting. Spudy is giving better game, but he has rushed infantry into a number of locations that house my rifle squads, only to suffer from combined fire. Brave but futile. A true general, of WWI. Sasquatch hasn't been seen in a few days, after having my Hetzer of death resurrected and shooting up his rear areas. His attack seems to be losing momentun. A recent intercept once decoded reveals I didn't realize you had so many men over there. Sean, the bodies piling up in front of my guns should be a clue, old bean. As to others, well either it's too early, I don't care or my Alzheimer's has kicked in. ------------------ Have you been injured? Has your PBEM opponent won a game through the use of tank crew human waves? Are you offended by ahistorical tactics? Has that gamey recon jeep been keeping you awake at night? Well your troubles are over. Just call me, jd Esq. and I and my crack team of legal weasels will get you the compensation that you are entitled to. Remember, I'm in your corner. (that is unless you don't pay your bills, in which case, I'll sue you for every last penny) - Marlow & Associates Advertising Agency [This message has been edited by jd (edited 01-08-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wildman Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 I didn't label you that, Marlow was the one who put you in that comprimising position first. I just ran with it. --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 BTW the other day I was incredibly board and in the CMHQ chatroom. To make a long story short I ended up in a TCP/IP game with M.BAtes (shudder) but I did so with the intention of handing him his ass wrapped neatly and all. Well, first off M.Bates is a sandbagging gamely little bastard. We were playing a ME and he goes with an Armored selection so that he can buy more armor than me. I was Combined arms. So, I bought a ton of infantry and the 3 Hetzers which I was only allowed because of the 1250 point setting. Needless to say M.Bates HAS to be the most inept, gamey pud on the planet. Not only did he waste his entire arty assets on my 3 Hetzers he failed to drop ANY arty on my infantry. Fool. Also he bought an M18 Hellcat and proceeded to drive it around my back area at full speed. Thus all my reserve troops popped up and not one of the useless Hamstertruppen could hit the broadside of a Dalem at 20 meters let alone a Hellcat that was rumbling by. To say the least this angered me greatly. I therefore pushed M.Bates right flank with my infantry and proceeded to "roll him up" when he suddenly says to me "gotta go" and bails out of the game. Needless to say he saw the writing on the wall and ran with his tail between his legs, the putrid little femme. Needless to say I will never need to play that gamely little sh*t again. Just thought you all would appreciate the drumming I gave him. Jeff ------------------ I once killed a six pack just to watch it die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: BTW the other day I was incredibly board and in the CMHQ chatroom. To make a long story short I ended up in a TCP/IP game with M.BAtes (shudder) but I did so with the intention of handing him his ass wrapped neatly and all. Jeff <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Thats pretty much why I won't play non-cesspoolers. I'll chat all day long but usually won't mess with anyone I don't know. I know I might lose but at least I know who I'm losing to. Thanks for the warning though. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Thats pretty much why I won't play non-cesspoolers. I'll chat all day long but usually won't mess with anyone I don't know. I know I might lose but at least I know who I'm losing to. Thanks for the warning though. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Damn it, Hiram. Where are you when I need someone for a good pounding? Hmmm? Jeff P.S. Waaaait a sec... Damn! Sit down, Bauhaus! [This message was edited for the Bauhaus comment.] ------------------ I once killed a six pack just to watch it die. [This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 01-08-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Damn it, Hiram. Where are you when I need someone for a good pounding? Hmmm? Jeff <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Saturday? I was engaging in some slap & tickle. My sad little apartment has proplactic wrappers and empty beer bottles strewn about. I think there is some pizza left behind the recliner. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Saturday? I was engaging in some slap & tickle. My sad little apartment has proplactic wrappers and empty beer bottles strewn about. I think there is some pizza left behind the recliner. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What? Did you get a new cat? Jeff ------------------ I once killed a six pack just to watch it die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: What? Did you get a new cat? Jeff <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!! Hiram had to get the new cat drunk to boink it! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!! ------------------ WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! - THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO. MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!! must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!! Hiram had to get the new cat drunk to boink it! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> are you still doing the catnip in the pocket trick? ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M. Bates Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 Hey, Shandorf! How are you! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>BTW the other day I was incredibly board and in the CMHQ chatroom. To make a long story short I ended up in a TCP/IP game with M.BAtes (shudder) but I did so with the intention of handing him his ass wrapped neatly and all. Well, first off M.Bates is a sandbagging gamely little bastard. We were playing a ME and he goes with an Armored selection so that he can buy more armor than me. I was Combined arms. So, I bought a ton of infantry and the 3 Hetzers which I was only allowed because of the 1250 point setting. Needless to say M.Bates HAS to be the most inept, gamey pud on the planet. Not only did he waste his entire arty assets on my 3 Hetzers he failed to drop ANY arty on my infantry. Fool. Also he bought an M18 Hellcat and proceeded to drive it around my back area at full speed. Thus all my reserve troops popped up and not one of the useless Hamstertruppen could hit the broadside of a Dalem at 20 meters let alone a Hellcat that was rumbling by. To say the least this angered me greatly. I therefore pushed M.Bates right flank with my infantry and proceeded to "roll him up" when he suddenly says to me "gotta go" and bails out of the game. Needless to say he saw the writing on the wall and ran with his tail between his legs, the putrid little femme. Needless to say I will never need to play that gamely little sh*t again. Just thought you all would appreciate the drumming I gave him. Jeff ------------------ I once killed a six pack just to watch it die.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> A more accurate repraisal of the event is: Shandorf, either through complete arrogance, or utter stupidity, possibly a mixture of both, parked three Hetzers on top of a hill. I methodically picked off the first two through an AT gun and a sneaky Jackson. I decided to finish off the last one personally with a Hellcat, and the Hellcat was brought safely back home Shandorf, now lacking any vehicle support, had all his infantry hiding in the town. I am in the middle of blasting the buildings he occupied to smithereens when I had to go. Of the three victory locations, one was easily attainable just by parking a tank on it. The other was a church occupied by his infantry, and that was soon to go with two vehicles and an AT gun trained on it. Shandorf says that my right flank was in danger, and that my artillery was spent, but both are untruths. I could not spend any more time at the computer, so I instead of apologise and bail out, I surrendered like a gentleman. And now Shandorf spills his inaccurate blatherings to the forum. Well, I killed THREE of your Hetzers, and you knocked out ONE Jackson. I think that the game was about even, but then even that is being generous to Mr Shandorf. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Needless to say I will never need to play that gamely little sh*t again.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Haha, another great quote to add to my signature. Good day to you sir... [This message has been edited by M. Bates (edited 01-08-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 Hmmm....anybody believe that bit of fiction? Nope, I didn't think so. Good work shandorfffffffff...I'll be sure to remember to let you drive the PT Boat next time out. ------------------ WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! - THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO. MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!! must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M. Bates Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hmmm....anybody believe that bit of fiction? Nope, I didn't think so.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I agree with you Yoda, it is astonishing that Shandorf must try to conceal his crap tactics with a package of lies and deceit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by M. Bates: I agree with you Yoda, it is astonishing that Shandorf must try to conceal his crap tactics with a package of lies and deceit!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> A humble suggestion for you, M. Bates. I truly beleive that you should take this matter up with Mister Shandorf in an email or a "fair" PBEM. Do you really need our affirmation? We won't abandon our big butted Shandorf because someone whose name is reminiscient of self-manipulation cries duplicity!! I personally believe Shandorf. Thats just my oh so very humble opinion and you are welcome to take it with a grain of salt and please go elsewhere. Master Bates, have a nice day. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Doug Beman: Hear ye, hear ye! Greetings from the Lord Humungus! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Roller. He has deigned to visit your worthless meanderings with his omnipotent greatness. All hail! DjB<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What is the bloody world coming too! An Aussie wannabe quoting from perhaps one our all time classic movies (Mad Max 2)! Sorry, but we only have room for one honorary top-aussie, that's positions alread filled and it's not by you, ya nong (besides, you wouldn't as good in the high heels and the leather as our honorary one does....Hubba, hubba). Now excuse me, thinking about that particular person has got me in such a state I'm off to have a cold shower. Mace [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 01-08-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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