TAKING THE BLOODY PENG THREAD DOWNUNDER

[Seanachai]

in a since closed thread started by Binkie

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Madmatt

Moderator posted 12-06-2000 01:24 AM    

Leave the denizens of the Peng Thread alone. They have the same rights to post as anyone else; we have given them that ONE thread to do as they will.

No one makes you read it and its not fair to blame the issues with the forum on them.

Madmatt<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Madmatt: Friends, Grogs, CMers, prick up your ears!

I come to bury the Peng Thread, not to praise it.

The evil that they do lives on eternally,

the good is oft ignored and derided.

So let it be, for it is the Peng Challenge Thread.

The noble Binkie hath told you that the Peng Challenge Thread is worthless;

if it is so, it is a grievous fault,

and grievously shall they answer for it.

Here, under leave of Binkie and the rest

(for Binkie is an honourable man,

So are they all, all honourable men),

Come I to speak on the Peng Challenge Thread.

It is an awful place, filled with faithful posters and lovers of CM;

But Binkie says they are worthless,

And Binkie is an honourable man.

They have played PBEMs untold, and gloried in the game,

Did this make the Peng Challenge Thread worthless?

Many have there found opponents, and much good natured fun was had;

But the Board should be made of other stuff:

Yea, Binkie says the Thread is worthless,

and Binkie is an honourable man.

You have all seen that on the Board

Twice has the Peng Challenge Thread died, and Thrice has it been reborn.

Was this worthlessness?

Yet Binkie says it was worthless,

and sure he is an honest man.

I speak not to disprove what Binkie wrote,

But here I am to speak what I do know.

Many have posted there, not without cause;

What cause have others to revile it so?

O judgement! thou art passed by brutish beasts, and men have lost their reason.

Bear with me.

My heart lies with the Peng Challenge Thread, and I must pause till it comes back to me.

Vox Madmatt, Vox Populi.

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 12-06-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 12-06-2000).]

[Stuka]

Binkie can Belt a Bright Blue BaseBall Bat up his Butt.

Hows that for poetry?

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

... up his Butt.

Hows that for poetry?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's arse mate!

You've been snogging with the septics for way too long!

Mace

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 12-06-2000).]

[coralsaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by the living dictionary:

While this thread is full of reprobates, I am MASTER bates.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Umm, I think he meant "I am Masterbating.

Pawfrog

Where's that damn round? You mad-mad cow, stop feeding on animal intestines and get going, I can't wait to give you the rosbif treating! Come to the abbattoir, rausch!

To all other ratfaces, I wish you were all dead, dead, or dying, so I could stomp on your sorry ratneck and crush you!

------------------

I feel like I'm standing in front of the monkey cage at the zoo. - HiramS

[This message has been edited by coralsaw (edited 12-06-2000).]

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

Wha hey, Ah'm lookin' a' yoo Jimmy, an' Ah thank Ah'm gwinta hurl ma haggis a-cos of it! Yer a poncy talkin' Sassanach bow-legged bastarrrd wi' flared norstrils, ain'ye? Wi' yer fancy pants verbage ye nae fit tae be a sod stackers stacker o' soddin' sod stacker's sods....ya sod. Ne'er mind tha' waffley bastarrrd's toy poodle, if mae dog's cat dragged ye inta mae hoose, Ah'd pour a wee dram o' kerosene on ye and burrrrn ye tae crispy kibbly bits, feed ye tae ma scrawny cat, shoot mae cat, feed him tae ma dog, shoot mae dog and bury him an a pile o' stankin' compost which Ah's prrrroceed tae burrrn until it were black crispy ****e tae be sprinkled on mae rose bushes. An then Ah' pee ain mae rose bushes. Ya poncy sod.

Sod off.

MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Being the outspoken detractor of Groundskeeper Willie's ridiculous Scottish bleating, I must girt up my loins and say that his one had me rolling. Now if only he can keep the quality up...

As for Salt Boy...You've come in here and posted twice. Posted nothing...and done it twice. Posted pointless drivel...twice. Then you supposedly turned into salt. Golly is that exciting. Let me tell you something...if your third post (should it ever spring from your mom's loins) doesn't make an effort - however pathetic - to attach somebody's eyeball to a paddle by their vas deferens, thereby making an impromptu version of that annoying little paddle-ball toy that I never could quite master, I will personally beat you down with Marlow's earless dog! Now get in line! Your prosaic attempts at profundity are wasted in here.

And in a larger sense...did I just see two separate Shakespearean references...in the Peng Thread? How DARE you bring culture in here. Now could I drink hot blood!

------------------

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: You rock, Croda<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[BFCElvis]

Let it be known that as a cesspool memeber, while hosting last nights "hotseat" game with Peng and Hiram (anyone who has seen Pengs butt will know what I mean by "hotseat"), I fulfilled my duties of providing a cesspool atmosphere. With some well placed flatulance, some clutch cigarette smoking and shoving them underground in my basement, I believe I made the feel at home.

------------------

What do we do with a terrible liar? Well, Great liars we send into the clergy.

Good liars we groom for politics. Moderate liars we supply with sherrif's badges

and guns, and the bad liars, well, we make them heroin whores. So what the hell

do we do with the Terrible Liars? Well, it seems we turn them into physicists

called "chrisl." Peng

[Hiram Sedai]

MRPeng is 9 Feet tall and breathes fire.

I saw it with my own two eyes. Much like a dragon, he lumbers around, not sure of his step in close quarters. When he first fixed his aweful gaze upon my sad little frame, my first thought was to run and my second was to...wipe. MRPeng, his trusty sidekick, Elvis, and I sat in a comfortable little room in the bowels of South Philly. When Elvis noticed I wasn't weeping enough, he filled the air with flatulance and chuckled heartily to himself. "That will teach ya", he bellowed and proceeded to berate me for moving my troops too slowly. Meanwhile, MRPeng banged his formidable head agaist the ceiling and sang showtunes. The combination of the gas emitted and the Negro Spirituals sung by the Pod made me forget both of the tactics I had practiced prior to this game.

40 turns was our goal in a scenario created by Berli. Elvis and I shared the Allied side as Canadians. They broke and ran, took a break, and then broke and ran again. MRPeng was Axis and must have cheated. No one can be that smart. The only way I could find to appease MRPeng was to give him my last beer and beg him to stop singing.

So, I had to gnaw at my own leg to escape the presence of MRPeng. I'm glad to still be alive and I will seek counseling to get that voice out of my head that sings "Swing low, Sweet Chariot...."

------------------

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[mensch]

righty o... small little update for you human genepool rejects.

germanboy:

again this lad makes me wonder... and makes me cry.. WILL YOU DIE ALREADY! cheez I want to win at least once against you.

soozeachai:

the sniffling git ruined two perfectly spanking brand new mortars.. bill is in the mail. as for his turkey troops sitting on a flag pole my advance is going well, his churchills are still cowering in fear behind houses.. how pathetic... and the rickets are comming down.. no need to make *foosh* *foosh* sounds they be a coming trust me. Now then time to extract some revenge on that scout car sitting so like a lighthouse on that hill.. plz. stay there for a round.. my tank is comming.

crapa:

He's eating Rickets as we speak.. hes dropping some from of artillery on my tigers in hopes to get a track hit or a top penetration.. good luck my boy.. oh is that another house that went up? hmmm... need more HE.

Stuko:

weres my pbem round you twit... I almost forgot how much I miss killing your stuff.

Kittsy cat:

well she gave up I guess.. to powerfull with my Tanks THRUSTING AND TRUSTING against her! my troops PROBING AND PROBING her lines... whew.. uh.. damn I'll need to change those... *ahem* I'll try again to arouse her for another toss on the battlefield.

Pengkomon:

Allas he takes his time tossing... yes you heard me tossing coins to decide what to do.. hurry up boy.. I ain't getting younger here.

FartBroom:

IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU! this french bugger has managed to mulch my forces form them into a anal probe and shove it back up my tail pipe..IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU!

MACED:

well he tried and he tried but the only cover he has best stated by him were three daisys on the open plains of death... now hes stuck hidding amoungs rubble and treelines.. now cut it out with that artillery me boy do it right use RICKETS!

well thats about it... I send a challange to the YK2 she seems a level headed lady and a easy, and I'd like to see if my force can probe her lines.

--------

"oooops sorry, you're busy with that photo aren't you? hehe"

-Mace

--------

Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

I will personally beat you down with Marlow's earless dog<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Umm, that's my supposedly earless dog, not MarloThomases. And if you're done spreading peanut butter on yourself for him to lick off, then click 'go' and send me your turn. You don't have to plot any moves, even. Oh wait, you haven't moved yet, anyway, so no big change.

[jshandorf]

GAME UPDATES!

Time to brag and belittle.

Cruuud-da:While he cries victory and FINALLY moves on to his first flag little does to realize what is in store for him. Like a small child who loses his prized blanky I will snatch away his victory and watch as he whines and cries until the bitter end.

Senility: His defeat is near. I grow hungry for my Seanachai over-easy with bacon and hash. Please pass the ketchup and oh yeah.. cue the fat lady.

Oberst: Aye, a stalemate I smell. I have his men cornered. Oberst is too scared to bring them out and I am not foolish enough to send in my men after him and why should I? I control the flag in question there. Now.. all I have to do to is kill a STuH that is loitering near that second flag... I wonder if harsh language will work?

Chupy: Still pretending to have a Real Life. Get on with it man and get back here to fantasy land where you belong!

Marlow: I forgot to process his turn last night. His time will come as it does with all sniveling weasels.

Moriarty: Just sent him the set up and when he gets it I am sure he will be trembling with fear and horror at the prospect of his timely destruction. Like some yappy ankle biter I will punt him into the next room.

Now back to work (yeah, right!)

Jeff

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Umm, that's my supposedly earless dog, not MarloThomases. And if you're done spreading peanut butter on yourself for him to lick off, then click 'go' and send me your turn. You don't have to plot any moves, even. Oh wait, you haven't moved yet, anyway, so no big change. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well gosh it IS your dog...how did I get so confused? Must have had something to do with the insignificant pets of insignificant men. Marlow's is the goldfish I have swimming in a large bowl of milk...kept at a comfortable 74 degrees F for 2 weeks now...Fishy no look so good.

As for sending the turn...do you know how to check your mail? I sent it last night, special delivery. You will recognize it by the explosions on your side of the battlefield and little pieces of cyber-soldier bouncing around like a super-ball in a bathtub.

And mensch...are you playing with the wife's frillies while the turns are playing out? You have so far blown up I believe 3 buildings which are so far from my lines that BTS would have to model AMTRAK for me to get to them, and you've dumped your frickin 'rickets' all over the place in a pattern spread so wide a gyneclogist would be shocked. Your rickits have done nothing at all. And I'm not even making that up to be funny. They seriously did nothing but give me deeper holes to shoot you in the spleen from. As for my artillery...trying to immobilize the big kitties...yup. I also figure that you must have infantry on the field somewhere...could be wrong though...your meds seem to need a refill.

Oh, and by the way Hiram, I gave you some ideas for our game over in your "Somebody help me!" thread in "Tips and Techniques." Now if you use them to beat me, I will be greatly displeased, and will beat you down with both dalem's earless dog and Marlow's spoiled-milk-boiled goldfish!

And where is my YK2? I haven't seen her in days!!!!

------------------

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: You rock, Croda<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[This message has been edited by Croda (edited 12-06-2000).]

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Alright, I know a lot of the lads have been put off by OGSF's weird Scottish gibberish, I vote the useless git gives up his horrible original name, and gives up his horrible spew of initials, takes on the whole shame of his second 'juniour member' status

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Put in a vote for "Angus McDuck"-- OldGrumpyStumpFetishist always reminds me of old Angus when he lapses into Scottish.

------------------

Slayer of the Original Cesspool Thread.

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

And mensch...are you playing with the wife's frillies while the turns are playing out? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

yes now leave me alone I'm getting to the soft flesh part now... ooooh

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>you've dumped your frickin 'rickets' all over the place in a pattern spread so wide a gyneclogist would be shocked. Your rickits have done nothing at all.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thats the POINT MAN.. please do not question again a madman while hes planing your demise!!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And I'm not even making that up to be funny.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

since when have you ever been FUNNY.. I do recall you made me laugh hard the last game I won against you... don't be worried my lad.. I'll be laughing soon.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I also figure that you must have infantry on the field somewhere...could be wrong though...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

your definatly wrong my FRIEND (and I use that lightly).. you playing not only a freek for Rickets your Playing a "zipperhead" TANKS.. and more TANKS.. troops? those are called speed bumps for my tanks.

------------

"so funny this damned thread.

did you see seanarchy get all huffy at me?"

- Stuka

----------

Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[Croda]

Almost forgot to deal with these jokers:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

Cost of doing business. You've climbed a tree to escape the black bear, laddie.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, good one. Now Mister IV, get your sorry ass back from your business trip and array your forces against me, you slimy bag of worm-ridden filth.

And NZer: I see your Blood Hamster and raise you a Blood Hamser. The setup has been sent. 5,000 pt assault. Come and get me you Allied bastard! Or is that too much for your simian brain to process? If you agree, perhaps we should do an AAR or something on this one...it could prove amusing.

------------------

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: You rock, Croda<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DVN-UK:

I hesitated, took a long hard look at the pinprick of distant light that is the exit from this fetid pool of filth, took one last deep breath of the sweet air that manages to penetrate to this outer level,sighed and plunged back down into the gloom... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

DKNY-UK,

Welcome my esteemed opponent to the Schloss Peng. Do so hope you enjoy a nice stay. Before we start in earnest, let me suggest a nice night's sleep at the local hotel, Le 'Pool (Foder's gives it -5 stars) After you are well rested, we can begin with the lessons, taught by an internationally recognized faculty, utilizing only the latest shock therapy training techniques.

Lesson one:

GROW A PAIR!!! I'm the only Bastard here that you have a game with, and you haven't insulted, berated, or otherwise demeaned me even once! Not even one little snide comment. Instead we have this little "Hmmm, this cesspool is awful nice in a dank and smelly kind of way, I think I'll stay and frolic in the mists and roll in the fungus." This despite the Abrahamic warning from Kurtz-a-chai not to look back. Well, if you decide to stick it out, TAUNT SOMEONE DAMN IT!!! That Impotent old bastard Peng has more taut in his thingy than you've had taunt in any post so far.

Lesson two:

GROW A PAIR!!! See Above.

Lesson three:

Insulting the weak. The Mutha Beautiful Thread (genuflecting) has no mercy. Prey upon the weak and easy targets: Lawyers, French, etc…

Day four:

Do not talk to the animals. There are occasional posters here, Masterbates, Rob/none, and others whose name shall not be mentioned for fear of dirtying my keyboard by typing their names. These noxious entities are to be avoided at all costs. To even respond to their inane posts is to invite more of the same. While these little pissants are, in truth, no more than an annoyance (in the pool, forum, and in the world as a whole), we should do what we can to keep the vermin to a minimum.

After you can post a taunt that can blister the paint off the walls, then you will be ready Grasshopper.

Till then, you are most cordially invited to GET THE HELL OUT.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

I shall observe your future progress with much interest...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, and stay away from Kurtz-a-chai, his predilection for youngsters is showing again.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Umm, that's my supposedly earless dog, not MarloThomases. And if you're done spreading peanut butter on yourself for him to lick off, then click 'go' and send me your turn. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Damn strait. Cruda, you'll need to be more careful with Dalelama's mutt's ears. When I'm done with you, you'll need them to stitch on in place of the ones I'm in the process of slowly removing from your sorry head. You may want to save the dog's nuts as well so that you can sew those on as well to assure that you'll have something to lick on those cold, lonely, middle PA nights.

The spoiled-milk-boiled goldfish bites. If all is right with the world, the file I sent last night should, for all practical purposes, spell the end of the Crodatruppen.

So, coming soon to a sideshow near you:

Hurry, Hurry, Hurry, see the amazing, the incredible, Croda, the dog eared boy. Watch as this freak of nature amazes you with his ability to lick his ass. Laugh at the incoherent gibberish, gawk at the slack jawed face, stand in awe of the tactical incompetence, spit in his face, kick his groin.

Admission only one thin dime, hurry, hurry, hurry …

------------------

We are fierce historical inaccuracers

- PawBroon

[This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 12-06-2000).]

[Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

So, coming soon to a sideshow near you:

Hurry, Hurry, Hurry, see the amazing, the incredible, Croda, the dog eared boy. Watch as this freak of nature amazes you with his ability to lick his ass. Laugh at the incoherent gibberish, gawk at the slack jawed face, stand in awe of the tactical incompetence, spit in his face, kick his groin.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm reminded of Mace and his propensity to kiss Kitty's Ass. At first, I felt sorry for the sorry little fellow. But I understood that he really wanted to be a woman and chose Kitty as his mentor. Oh well.

------------------

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[GI Tom]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra:

In less civilized times I could split open your skull like a ripe coconut and enjoy the sweet, sweet brain-fruit inside without worrying about being sent to prison, so I figure it all evens out.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I must say, those words there chuppy were nothing short of greatness. Oh, I'm still wiping the tears on that one.

Now, on to Peteriscrewhetzer's little statement that lumps me in with the "newcomers".

Nzer..you incompetent, incessant, almost whines as much as Joe Rickshaw little dweeble you. I sir, have been posting since the beginning thread. I have made appearances in the 2nd thread, maybe twice only, but there nonetheless. I ask you, have you ever heard the term "Mutha Beautiful Thread"??? Hmm...have you, you mangy wombat shagger?? That was me me me me me. Yes, you heard it right, I am to be thanked for that. So bow down to me and just thank your lucky stars someone like me is here to occasionally come up with some wit. Yes, I have been absent for a spell, however, I have redicated my efforts (to the joy of all no doubt)to make somewhat of a return.

Now listen here you sloth humper, I shall not be degraded or have my name used in the same sentence with the likes of M. Bates. No sir, you take that back, right this very second.

You shall now have to receive the "Setup of Death" from me, for I have to uphold some honor. I can't believe you would insult the Accountant of the Thread in such a way. Don't make me perform a recount you slithering, slimy, snotty, some other s word, man.

Oh, death will rain down upon thee with the same down force as the perverbial bucket of nails on your head. Yes indeed, it shall.

And finally, a response from Mark I'm IV years old. I've been taunting for a few posts and I get somewhat of a rise. Your dangling participle will not go untouched, but be lopped off with my superior play.

Ahh..it's a good day.

GI Tom

Edit: More degrading remarks towards Nzer that I forgot the first time around. Yes, I know..a double dipper, but at least I'm honest about it.

------------------

To a New Yorker like you, a hero is some type of wierd sandwich.

[This message has been edited by GI Tom (edited 12-06-2000).]

[Guest Germanboy]

A recent email exchange, following the suggestion that I may pull a Scotsman on my promise of GTs at a CM LAN party in my place:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Andreas:

I never did mention the actual amount of GT available, did I? *checks* No I did not...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Chupacapra (or whatever, let's just call him Jon, an ordinary and utterly boring and stupid name, I know, and I would suggest that the hatred he must bear towards his parents for saddling him with it explains a lot:

Well, perhaps a bit of a story would help...

There was once a happy panda named Jon. Jon liked to eat eucalyptus leaves very much. Mr. Eucalyptus Tree always made sure to make lots of eucalyptus leaves, because he knew how much Jon liked to eat them. Jon and Mr. Eucalyptus Tree loved each other very much.

And then one day Mr. Eucalyptus Tree said, "ha ha, **** you Jon, from now on you don't get **** from me."

This didn't make Jon very happy. So he went down to the Happyville Hardware Hut and bought A HUGE ****ING CHAINSAW and walked back over to Mr. Eucalyptus Tree and said "HOW 'BOUT THIS, MOTHER****ER?!!?!?? YOU WANT SOME OF THIS??? HUH??? MOTHER****ER, GIVE ME SOME GODDAMN EUCALYPTUS LEAVES OR I WILL CUT YOUR TREE ASS DOWN!!!!"

Mr. Eucalyptus Tree was very frightened! And he immediately produced lots of yummy eucalyptus leaves for Jon to eat.

And Jon said, "That's right, punk."

THE END<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And finally, Peter_Sheepshagger:

You're a sick twisted monkey, stop trying to shag german women.

We don't want baby germanic-jon's running around

madness

P<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The Suede formerly known as the Doctor:

because I am a certified wanker, as well as a former mediocre student of philosophy and other bogus science, I can tell you that Jons story is a good metaphor of what will happen when the People is deprived of g&t by the oppressive ruling class. TAKE HEED YOU HEATHENS!

M

ps. giving me sedatives might also help against a lack of g&t .. but then I might start drooling more that usual<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Enough said...

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Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 12-06-2000).]

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by GI Tom:

I ask you, have you ever heard the term "Mutha Beautiful Thread"??? Hmm...have you, you mangy wombat shagger?? That was me me me me me. Yes, you heard it right, I am to be thanked for that. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

GIT:

Please remember that this is my thread, as were the previous two. All contents of these threads belong solely to me, regardless of authorship, copyright, trademark, branding, legal status in the US and its territories, or any known or unkown dimension or plane of existance. IT IS ALL MINE.

Peng.

P.S. Hiram was mistaken, it was not fire I was breathing, it was merely the after effects of the souvlaki and gyro. And he was slightly off regarding the height thing, I am not quite as tall as a bass fiddle, but much taller than Beavis and Mojo.

------------------

"I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..."

Hamsters/Meeks(!)

[GI Tom]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

GIT:

Please remember that this is my thread, as were the previous two. All contents of these threads belong solely to me, regardless of authorship, copyright, trademark, branding, legal status in the US and its territories, or any known or unkown dimension or plane of existance. IT IS ALL MINE.

Peng.

P.S. Hiram was mistaken, it was not fire I was breathing, it was merely the after effects of the souvlaki and gyro. And he was slightly off regarding the height thing, I am not quite as tall as a bass fiddle, but much taller than Beavis and Mojo.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

GI Tom: ::arms extended out in front of him, palms down, with the swirley's in his eyes like in the cartoons and in a very low monotone voice::

This is Peng's Thread. This is Peng's Thread. I own nothing of the Thread. Peng is always right. Peng..Peng..Peng for President. Peng is the king of all that is shagged and to be shagged. The Mighty Peng has spoken, all heed is word.

GI Tom: ::snaps out of it::

Jeez...what in the hell is wrong with me. Peng, you are nothing more than a...

Peng: ::Peng snaps his fingers and GI Tom goes back into it::

GI Tom: ..nice, nice man. I would take a bullet for Peng. Peng is the greatest gift in my CM world..

GI Tom: ::snaps back out of it::

..grr..Peng..stop it...if you don't I'll..

Peng: ::Peng snaps his fingers again::

GI Tom: ..shine your boots, get you easy games to win and just be really nice to you at all times. I wish you were closer geographically so I could..

GI Tom: ::snaps back out of it yet again::

Kick the crap outta you!! Knock it off.

Peng: ::Peng snaps fingers again::

GI Tom: ::Tom is mesmerized::

GI Tom ::Tom fights his way back out of it again::

Ass.

GI Tom

------------------

To a New Yorker like you, a hero is some type of wierd sandwich.

[Joe Shaw]

Hmmm, says I to myself ... well actually I hummed it to myself as I rarely actually SAY "Hmmm", the Peng Thread has fallen on sad times when the likes of {shudder}M. Bates are posting regularly. What, I conjectured, can have been the cause of this lamentable decline? Using the skills conferred upon me during my time as a University debater I analyzed the situation and determined the following:

1) The decline coincided with my absence from the 'pool due to personal issues.

2) There was no need to search for #2 as #1 would clearly be a defining cause.

That being the case, I hypothesized as to the relationship between my absence and decline of quality. The likely culprits were:

1) I myself wasn't there to tend to the rudder of the thread and it thus lost it's way. While I have a cold and calculating self appraisal of my own genius, this seemed unlikely as many of the readers and even contributors to the thread were and are clearly incapable of deciphering words in excess of two syllables, therefore it had to be something more than just my presence.

2) I presumed that there was something about my presence that acted as spur for the more gifted and deterrent for the hordes of wannabes and other "special" readers of the thread (if you get my drift).

3) While that something might have been the peerless quality of my taunting, I refer gentle reader to my first point of analysis and reiterate that many of those who would be affected more commonly resort to reading material with large drawings of various super heroes accompanied by bubbles of succinct text (i.e. "You'll never take over the world dressed in that pink tu-tu Mister Mucus ... or my name isn't BITE ME BOY!"

3) Therefore, and by process of elimination, it had to be something that had been rare in most of my postings but still something that packed a punch, as it were. And then it hit me ... see, I said it packed a punch!

I hereby apologize to the denizens of the 'pool for my lack of foresight and neglect of my pest deterrent function here in the One the True CessPool. For if I had been attending to my duties none of the riffraff we see recently would have dared show their pinched and evil little faces here.

I hereby do what I can to make amends for my neglect and pray your forgiveness:

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Nothing like a Mormon Wife to keep the rabble out, I always say.

Joe

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Nothing like a Mormon Wife to keep the rabble out, I always say.

Joe

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

AAAAHHHHHHHH!! I scrolled too quickly! Damnation! Another week of sedation, and then rehabilitative therapy to try and re-establish an interest in things carnal. Damn Mormon Wives! If it doesn't cut down on visits from the totally useless, at least it will make them impotent and sterile, and that is a very good thing indeed, not only for the Peng Challenge Thread, but for humanity itself.

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[jshandorf]

A deserted town street. The wind blows hard with determination. Dust devils and tumble weeds scatter about, victims unable to determine their fate, guided by the wind.

The sound of spurs jingling comes from the door of a saloon. The jingling grows louder and closer. The creak of swinging doors is heard and now the sound of footfalls on the wooden sidewalk can be heard as they make their way for the street. As the lone figure steps off the wooden sidewalk he passes under a sign that contains only two words "The Pool". The figure moves with slow deliberate steps until he stops in the center of the street and turns to face the saloon. There he stands profiled against the empty back drop of the wild west seen from the edge of town where the roads disappears into the prairie.

The man in the street looks about, only moving his squinting eyes, looking for danger but mostly his victim. The man speaks. His baritone voice trembles with anger and determination. His voice cuts through the air seemingly unabated by the howl of the wind.

"Seanachai! I'm a callin' ya out! Face me like a man. Don't make me hunt you like a dog!"

Could it be this stranger wishes to go mano-a-mano? Maybe in some alternate world this man changes Seanachai to a game of CM by TCP/IP? And if this world existed instead of high noon to meet they would duel at say... 7:00pm? Could it be? Possibly...

In the distance the sound of canvas flapping in the wind is heard as it struggles against it's ties. The man waits. He thinks to himself, "He better not go yeller on me. If he doesn't show up I swear I will find 'em. And when I do I will kill 'em, but not fast.. Noooo.. fast is too good fer him. I kill 'em nice and slow like see. With me bowie knife. I'll stick it inside him nice and so like and then I will twist it 'round an' 'round till I hear 'em scream nice and good see."

The man stands their waiting, as if for time itself to end.

Jeff

[coralsaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pregnant:

Hiram was mistaken, it was not fire I was breathing, it was merely the after effects of the souvlaki and gyro.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh Godly souvlaki, oh Divine gyros! This is the Heritage of my People!

Ah, I can smell the sweet lingering temptation that is called onion, the fruity mouthwatering taste of tzatziki!!!!

Fie, you ignorant barbarian! How dare you suggest that gyros would give you a bad breath. Tis the inner cesspool in you that emanates from your mouth! Tis you and you alone the source of foul odour! Fie again.

------------------

I feel like I'm standing in front of the monkey cage at the zoo. - HiramS

[DVN-UK]

Originally posted by Mark IV:

No, you refer to Lot's wife, but you're too bloody thick to know it. Or perhaps you've confused "Saul"......

ahhhhh it begins. Thanks for that warm welcome.

Ok lets deal with Mank IV. First off thanks for putting me straight on that point of Religion, I knew it was something like that. You've got to understand that I'm not too hot on these matters due to the fact that unlike you I don't sit there drooling, wide eyed in my soiled underwear and vest watching an evangelist on daytime TV all day, occasionally taking time out to :-

a) scratch your balls...that is indeed if you have any.

fart and belch, then breathing the hideous result back in, a contented smile on your cretinous face.

c) stuff your mouth with whatever happens to be laying around your disgusting pit of an armchair, mouldy pizzas, half eaten candy bars, small animals and cockroaches.

d) Wonder how on earth your going to save up for that Leather bound exclusive set of deluxe bibles that your fave TV evangelist exalts you to buy 'to guarantee your place in heaven' when its all you can do to waddle over to the computer and type your feeble insults.

Although your utterly useless display of bible thumping knowledge does mean that you can correct me on that minor point.....thanks again!

As for the rest of you, time is short, I will deal with each in turn...

But Marlow...As I am actually competing against you....I would insult your generalship, but I have yet to see any of your troops or armour yet, although your boasts regarding the size and composition of your army lead me to believe that it would have trouble fitting into a medium size country let alone the map we are playing on. I wonder if this 'size exaggeration issue' ever rears its ugly head in your everyday life?