Warts 'n' all Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 Some while back I was asked if I would be starting a new caption competition, but I thought that I had taken those as far as I could. But, I am happy to announce the publication of ... "Mad Addy : My granddad's part in his downfall" by Spike (the real one, not that Terrance Milligan charlatan). This (non - existent) illustrated novella will be available for the very reasonable price of 3 shillings, thruppence, three-farthing for a limited time only. Part 1. "Smile Paddy" "What's there to smile about? Some stupid fecking Cockney at Tilbury took all the Guinness off the wagon. And then loaded her up with bully beef." ... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warts 'n' all Posted January 16, 2021 Author Share Posted January 16, 2021 Part 2 "Hey Field Marshall, the Krauts are putting out white flags." "Ah, sorry to disappoint General. I think that you'll find it is Paddy hanging out his long Johns." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjkerner Posted January 16, 2021 Share Posted January 16, 2021 American General: Sieg Heil! Monty: Sure. Wait....what? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vacillator Posted January 16, 2021 Share Posted January 16, 2021 (edited) Part 1. "In years to come men like us will have massive moobs. Keep drinking the Guinness guys..." Part 2. "No, that's not Adolf but whoever it is, he is running away." Edited January 16, 2021 by Vacilllator Moi Oirish spellin... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warts 'n' all Posted January 16, 2021 Author Share Posted January 16, 2021 3 hours ago, mjkerner said: American General: Sieg Heil! Monty: Sure. Wait....what? MJK, the very idea that General Simpson would stand on the Siegfried Line giving a "Heil Hitter" salute is almost as ludicrous as suggesting that the lead singer of Bromley Dave and the Self-publicists would do the same thing from the back of an open top Mercedes in Victoria Station. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warts 'n' all Posted January 16, 2021 Author Share Posted January 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Vacilllator said: Part 1. "In years to come men like us will have massive moobs. Keep drinking the Guinness guys..." Thankfully Paddy never lived to hear the non-word "moobs". Although he did have such a beautiful soft accent that he pronounced the word "mate" as "met". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjkerner Posted January 17, 2021 Share Posted January 17, 2021 4 hours ago, Warts 'n' all said: MJK, the very idea that General Simpson would stand on the Siegfried Line giving a "Heil Hitter" salute is almost as ludicrous as suggesting that the lead singer of Bromley Dave and the Self-publicists would do the same thing from the back of an open top Mercedes in Victoria Station. The horror! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umlaut Posted January 17, 2021 Share Posted January 17, 2021 13 hours ago, mjkerner said: American General: Sieg Heil! Monty: "Who´s Hyle? And where should we seek him?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warts 'n' all Posted January 17, 2021 Author Share Posted January 17, 2021 5 hours ago, umlaut said: And where should we seek him?" "They seek him here, they seek him there." As Ray Davies and his brother Dave sang. But they were from Muswell Hill, which is north of London, and they have nowt to do with Bromley Dave and the Self-publicists previously mentioned in this thread. It would be like thinking that Saga was from Copenhagen, and Martin was from Malmo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umlaut Posted January 17, 2021 Share Posted January 17, 2021 40 minutes ago, Warts 'n' all said: It would be like thinking that Saga was from Copenhagen, and Martin was from Malmo. Well, in my part of Denmark we just call it Malmø East and Malmø West 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warts 'n' all Posted January 17, 2021 Author Share Posted January 17, 2021 2 hours ago, umlaut said: Well, in my part of Denmark we just call it Malmø East and Malmø West Haha. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vacillator Posted January 17, 2021 Share Posted January 17, 2021 (edited) 22 hours ago, Warts 'n' all said: the non-word "moobs". I don't disagree, but you can find it in both the Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries. Recent inclusions of course. As discussed in another thread, no-one on the forum has admitted to having such appendages, so we need not trouble ourselves about them. Edited January 17, 2021 by Vacilllator 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warts 'n' all Posted January 17, 2021 Author Share Posted January 17, 2021 Sadly, Poxbridge has been happy to collaborate with the Dictatorship of the Semi-literate in order to sell their so-called dictionaries for some time. Those of us in the Resistance will go down fighting. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt.Squarehead Posted January 18, 2021 Share Posted January 18, 2021 (edited) I'm entirely with the traitor on this one! Edited January 18, 2021 by Sgt.Squarehead 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warts 'n' all Posted January 23, 2021 Author Share Posted January 23, 2021 Part 3 I remember one day in the autumn Mr. Jorrocks came to see me and said. "I have special job for you, Paddy. The REME need every pontoon bridge between here and Flushing tested, so load up your wagon with whatever you have to hand, just make sure it's heavy OK." So off I went to down to Kattendijkdok, and got the six fattest prozzies I could find, assured them that I was a happily married Catholic man then away we went. Anyways about halfway to Flushing I see a couple of Canadian fellas struggling with their Ford in the mud. So I wound down the window and gave 'em some advice. "You shoulda gotta Bedford, you dozy feckers!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umlaut Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 I was wondering, Wart: Are you and Mad Addy in any way related to Wart Addy? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vacillator Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 Part 3. "I told you we should've put the star the right way up". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjkerner Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 Looks more like an “L” to me, not a 7, but who cares 7, where’s the bloody headlamp?!? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warts 'n' all Posted January 23, 2021 Author Share Posted January 23, 2021 2 hours ago, umlaut said: I was wondering, Wart: Are you and Mad Addy in any way related to Wart Addy? Sorry mate. I've no idea what you're on about. But I am somewhat offended that you might suggest that I am in anyway related to that "see you next Tuesday" Mad Addy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erwin Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 Is that wot is called a "ditch"? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bulletpoint Posted January 26, 2021 Share Posted January 26, 2021 On 1/17/2021 at 3:48 PM, Warts 'n' all said: "They seek him here, they seek him there." As Ray Davies and his brother Dave sang. I finally got a Warts reference. O frabulous jay. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt.Squarehead Posted January 26, 2021 Share Posted January 26, 2021 When I said "we'll ditch the truck once we get there", this was not what I had in mind. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warts 'n' all Posted January 26, 2021 Author Share Posted January 26, 2021 3 hours ago, Bulletpoint said: I finally got a Warts reference. O frabulous jay. I know that the Septics have Blue Jays, and we have the Eurasian Jay, is the Frabulous Jay found only in Denmark? Exits stage left humming a tune by the Edwin Hawkins Singers -------------------------------------------------------------------------> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky_Strike Posted January 26, 2021 Share Posted January 26, 2021 On 1/23/2021 at 1:12 PM, Warts 'n' all said: Part 3 I remember one day in the autumn Mr. Jorrocks came to see me and said. "I have special job for you, Paddy. The REME need every pontoon bridge between here and Flushing tested, so load up your wagon with whatever you have to hand, just make sure it's heavy OK." So off I went to down to Kattendijkdok, and got the six fattest prozzies I could find, assured them that I was a happily married Catholic man then away we went. Anyways about halfway to Flushing I see a couple of Canadian fellas struggling with their Ford in the mud. So I wound down the window and gave 'em some advice. "You shoulda gotta Bedford, you dozy feckers!" T’be sure Daniel Cumba, I tink yow left yer feckin brain back in Breara, when de Captain said to take cuvver in de ditch, he meant get owt of de feckin wagon ferst, ya feckin eejit! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warts 'n' all Posted January 26, 2021 Author Share Posted January 26, 2021 14 minutes ago, Lucky_Strike said: T’be sure Daniel Cumba, I tink yow left yer feckin brain back in Breara, when de Captain said to take cuvver in de ditch, he meant get owt of de feckin wagon ferst, ya feckin eejit! Paddy lifts his eyes from his Sporting Life, rolls them and says... "Mr. Jorrocks will yer'se listen to that there fella, anyone would think that I was from Craggy Island instead of County Meath." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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