Broadsword56 Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Andrew Hudgins, in a great essay in today's New York Times, tells this historical anecdote: --- I certainly don’t look to Fritz Darges, an army adjutant to Adolf Hitler, as a model, but I often think of one moment from his life. During one 1944 strategy meeting, a fly started buzzing around. It landed on the map, Hitler’s shoulder, and the map again. The Führer ordered Darges to kill it. Without a moment’s hesitation, Darges replied that the fly was an “airborne pest” and therefore the responsibility of Nicolaus von Below, the nearby Luftwaffe adjutant. I love the joke, but I love, fear and identify with the impulse that drove Darges to tell it. By 1944, he must have had an inkling that his boss wasn’t blessed with a generous sense of humor. Didn’t matter. Darges had his joke, it was a good one, he had to tell it — and the joke is funnier now because it was dangerous then. Hitler turned to Darges, screamed, “You’re for the Eastern Front!” and dismissed him. --- 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agusto Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Well, Hitler has never been particularly famous for his sense of humor. I remeber that i once read in Joachim Fests Hitler biography that he (Hitler) found it funny to talk about disguting stuff while eating togather with his subordinates in order to spoil their appetite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rokko Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Appearently this happened on July 18 1944, so it may actually have saved his life getting dismissed from the personal staf, considering being close to Hitler just two days later may have proved fatal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ts4EVER Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 "Berlin is the perfect headquarters, soon you will be able to take the tram from the east to the west front." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DasMorbo Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 German WWII-anecdotes. Very, very black. Want examples? Calling the 'Volksturm' the "HJ-late vintage" for its members often high ages or the 'V3' as sort of third 'wonderweapon'. A response to the media-hype the propaganda-pr**ks made of this useless and sorrowful war effort. "Come see Berlin, the city of werehouses" (warehouse and were house spell the same in German) "- there were houses, there were houses, there were houses." City was more a pile of rubble than anything else. My favourite: "Führer give orders - we take what follows (from it)!" as a soldiers joke of the Propaganda-Slogan "Führer give orders - we follow". Relates to the idiotic and murderous 'stand-fast'-orders Hitler gave on a regular basis as response to critical situations which called for retreat. Not all Germans were the "don't think - follow orders"-type. Cheers Olf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanir Ausf B Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poesel Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 I can tell one that my father told me that he remembered from wartime: Two guys drive through the countryside when they accidentally drive over a pig. Says the first: 'Quick, let's go before the farmer gets us!' 'Let me handle this' says the other and goes into the farmers house. Quite a while later he comes back arms full with meat and sausages. 'For heavens sake what did you tell the farmer?' 'Well, I went in and said: "Heil Hitler the pig is dead!" ' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juju Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Two German spies have just been dropped (by submarine) in southern England. In the first village on their way to London they decide to visit a pub to see how their cover holds up... Barkeep: What can I get you gents? 1st German spy (in flawless English): two sherry's please. Barkeep: Dry? 2nd German spy (in high shrill angry voice): NEIN, ZWEI!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MG TOW Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 It may be said by some that Hitler was a pretty good Corporal during his early service years. But then again, its pretty much unanimous he was a Rotten führer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agusto Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 AFAIK he was never promoted beyond the rank of Gefreiter (=Corporal? I thought Gefreiter = PFC) because his superiors thought he was not suited for a leadeship position. They were kinda right, werent they... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinty Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Oberschutze = PFC 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 German ranks grog. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I can tell one that my father told me that he remembered from wartime: Two guys drive through the countryside when they accidentally drive over a pig. Says the first: 'Quick, let's go before the farmer gets us!' 'Let me handle this' says the other and goes into the farmers house. Quite a while later he comes back arms full with meat and sausages. 'For heavens sake what did you tell the farmer?' 'Well, I went in and said: "Heil Hitler the pig is dead!" ' Translation: der Fuhrer was the Wurst Brat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeFF Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 "If the underside of a plane is blue or silver, it's a British or American plane. If it's invisible, it's German." Or so the saying went among German ground troops. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinty Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 German ranks grog. Michael Google grog actually :-P 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agusto Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Two psychiatrists meet in Vienna in 1944. The first one greets with "Heil Hitler!", the other one replies "What? Heal* him yourself!". *(German "heil" = imperative of "to heal"). A man goes to the doctor in germany in 1942 and says "Doctor, i think i am suffering from an inferiority complex.". The doctor replies: "I have good news for you! You dont suffer from an inferiority complex, you are inferior!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjkerner Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 LOL, agusto, the new Henny Jungmann! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sublime Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Some of the jokes must not translate well. Or they're not funny 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZPB II Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 They're German jokes. I assume most people are familiar with their sense of humour, or lack of. Now, as you were. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poesel Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Some of the jokes must not translate well. Or they're not funny Some jokes get better with the thrill of a pending death sentence if you tell them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sublime Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 well the fly one was funny. I also always thought the new uber panzer that had 12 landsers shoveling coal into it's engine on the rear deck one was humorous as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juju Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agusto Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 And for those among us who understand german here is "Hitler und der Leasingvertrag": 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MG TOW Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 The watermelon thing. is hilarious AFAIK he was never promoted beyond the rank of Gefreiter (=Corporal? I thought Gefreiter = PFC) because his superiors thought he was not suited for a leadeship position. They were kinda right, werent they... There are a lot of references to him being a corporal, referred to scornfully as the Austrian Corporal by Heer Generals. Anyways kinda goes with my rotten führer joke, which I just made up, I know its a groaner. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seedorf81 Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Some of the jokes must not translate well. Or they're not funny Or you have no sense of humor? :eek: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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