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Speedy Steals the Peng Challenge Thread %43


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Let me see if I can translate this correctly...

Hairy O'breast ... I 'll make you a deal ... we'll do a Blood Hamster match, just you and me, ...

Translation: "Here herr_oberst, poke yourself in the eye with this pointy stick..."

If you win I'll officially take you to Squire and instruct you as I've instructed all my Squires

Translation: "And if you win, you get to poke yourself in the other eye with this pointy stick..."

Erm... no thanks. Although the the evil side of me is tempted to accept your challenge and simply proxy the turns off to Buzzsaw so that he can trounce you down into the mud.

Why would he accept? Well, for starters, he'd get to eviscerate the head of a competing House (I'm thinking House Atreides vs House Harkonnen here) and could make the truth known after the fact if he wins, and if he loses, well, I was the one playing you Old Foul Joe, wasn't I?

That kind of maneuver sounds, well, almost Rune-esque, doesn't it?

Aah, and back to the sig posting: Four times have I posted a la Hamster, and four times I have smitten thee...

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Let me see if I can translate this correctly...

Translation: "Here herr_oberst, poke yourself in the eye with this pointy stick..."

Translation: "And if you win, you get to poke yourself in the other eye with this pointy stick..."

Erm... no thanks. Although the the evil side of me is tempted to accept your challenge and simply proxy the turns off to Buzzsaw so that he can trounce you down into the mud.

Why would he accept? Well, for starters, he'd get to eviscerate the head of a competing House (I'm thinking House Atreides vs House Harkonnen here) and could make the truth known after the fact if he wins, and if he loses, well, I was the one playing you Old Foul Joe, wasn't I?

That kind of maneuver sounds, well, almost Rune-esque, doesn't it?

Aah, and back to the sig posting: Four times have I posted a la Hamster, and four times I have smitten thee...

While Shaw's resemblance to Baron Harkonnen is well documented (see below), the plan loses its luster now that it is out in the open, doesn't it? Besides, I think I have already sufficiently humbled the Shavian House with my brilliant victory over his lackey and the brutal lashes I have administered here in the MBT. Recent posts have clearly revealed that Shaw's house canon is crumbling, and I would not want any contagion to spread to the Cesspool itself and upset what passes for order here. The few remaining Blood Hamster Sigs should be enough to keep his recent wounds open and ensure a nasty scar.

McMillan_as_Harkonnen.jpg

Baron Harkonnen or Joe Shaw?

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Ohh.... that's not too bad! That's just a little bit of adolescent acne he has going on there! All he needs is a little bit of Clearasil. Or... maybe some Cruex. Yeah... he might want to slather on a couple of tubes of Cruex. The industrial strength kind. Just to be safe.

Well, given his poor hygiene the acne is expected. I am more worried about what looks to be a horn sprouting on the right side of his head. Gives credence to the idea that Shaw is the product of some drunken union between Berli and Peng. I knew Peng drank a lot -- just didn’t know it was that much. Perhaps he was passed out and Berli had his way with him? The theory fits well, as nepotism is one of the best explanations for why the Olde Ones left the Justicar title to someone who is so obviously incompetent. (Drunkenness and indifference are other leading possibilities.)

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Well, given his poor hygiene the acne is expected. I am more worried about what looks to be a horn sprouting on the right side of his head. Gives credence to the idea that Shaw is the product of some drunken union between Berli and Peng. I knew Peng drank a lot -- just didn’t know it was that much. Perhaps he was passed out and Berli had his way with him? The theory fits well, as nepotism is one of the best explanations for why the Olde Ones left the Justicar title to someone who is so obviously incompetent. (Drunkenness and indifference are other leading possibilities.)
I think I'm looking rather svelt ... apart from the bump on my forehead caused by excessive smacking with my palm accompanied by exclamations of "These IDIOTS from the House of Ruin."

Joe

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Boo, you seem a good chap, but have the great misfortune of hailing from the consonant-challenged state of the Buckeyes. Indeed, you are an affront to all of us from the great state of California, and there is but one solution: duel to the death on the glorious canvas of CMBN. Though I be but a lowly squire, my might is …, uhh, mighty. Feel my wrathful wrath, and the great stinginess of my sting….

(Hmmm, this challenge isn’t going as expected, let me see about starting over in a sec…)

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Boo, you seem a good chap, but have the great misfortune of hailing from the consonant-challenged state of the Buckeyes. Indeed, you are an affront to all of us from the great state of California, and there is but one solution: duel to the death on the glorious canvas of CMBN. Though I be but a lowly squire, my might is …, uhh, mighty. Feel my wrathful wrath, and the great stinginess of my sting….

(Hmmm, this challenge isn’t going as expected, let me see about starting over in a sec…)

... {Joe's forehead bump gets larger} ...

Joe

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Boo, you seem a good chap, but have the great misfortune of hailing from the consonant-challenged state of the Buckeyes.

We have an H. And we find that's completely sufficient.

Indeed, you are an affront to all of us from the great state of Californicate,

Good, it's working.

and there is but one solution:

You going away?

duel to the death on the glorious canvas of CMBN. Though I be but a lowly squire, my might is …, uhh, mighty. Feel my wrathful wrath, and the great stinginess of my sting….

(Hmmm, this challenge isn’t going as expected, let me see about starting over in a sec…)

Tell ya what, Sparky. I'm a bit busy at the moment, why don't YOU start without me. Keep us all apprised as to how it's going and eventually, someone will contact you. Hold your breath, if you feel like it.

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Boo, I am not surprised you are so attached to your letter “H” since it is the only consonant you have, but something felt very wrong, and I am not ashamed to admit that I turned to Wikipedia for the answer. You are clinging to a horrid pseudo-consonant, with the appropriately filthy sounding description of “voiceless glottal fricative”. No, this is not one of the many “services” available in the dark alleyways and dim restrooms of greater Akron, but the definition of a consonant so weak and breathless that its only recourse is latch onto a nearby vowel and to be swept along on its coattails. The parallel with known Ohioans in the MBT is quite obvious. You are but a faint whisper attempting to eke out some meaning by associating with the greater voices here in the Cesspool. Such a sad and pathetic sight, that I am moved to offer you succor: Accept my challenge and make your voice heard in the tumult of a battle well-fought; accept not, and continue your shadowy, voiceless existence in the shallows of the Pool. The choice is yours.

N.B.: Don’t get me started on Iowa, and that abhorrent “double-u”. Together your states make for a Scrabble rack nightmare. In variations where places names are allowed, both states would still be unplayable due the prohibition against profanity.

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And before you make a case for the sanctity of your state name based on some association with the noble savages who named your river, let’s all agree that the Pratchett rule of intra-language geographic nomenclature almost certainly applies in this case. When the first white settler asked “What is that?” while pointing to the river, the reply was probably along the lines of “What kind of porcupine-buggering idiot doesn’t know what a big river is?”. Some abbreviation was obviously necessary, so while it is possible that your state name means “big river”, it is equally possible that it means “porcupine-buggering idiot.”

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You are but a faint whisper attempting to eke out some meaning by associating with the greater voices here in the Cesspool. Such a sad and pathetic sight...

That's pretty cold. You should just drop a penny in the lad's cup and pat him on the head as you pass by. Granted, there is a risk that you might pick up some lice that aren't compatible with the lice you already have, but we're all part of the Great Circle of Life, aren't we? Except for Shaw and Stuka of course. No one knows just what they are. Probably wandered over from some parallel universe where everything is backwards and upside down.

Michael

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That's pretty cold. You should just drop a penny in the lad's cup and pat him on the head as you pass by. Granted, there is a risk that you might pick up some lice that aren't compatible with the lice you already have, but we're all part of the Great Circle of Life, aren't we? Except for Shaw and Stuka of course. No one knows just what they are. Probably wandered over from some parallel universe where everything is backwards and upside down.

Michael

Not a good idea to give the lad any cash. He'll just end up in those dark Akron alleys trying to find out if he can get some voiceless glottal fricative. Best get him an ample supply of pentobarbitals. He can take as need, or all at once if he wants maximum relief.

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Is that some kind of soccer game thing?

Kinda ... but it's so weird that only an Australopithecine could enjoy it.

They run with what looks like a rugby ball for a while and then, for no discernible reason, suddenly stop and kick it toward a goal. Presumably there are some rules involved since there are referees at the games. Here's a photo of one of them indicating ... I dunno ... maybe that crocodile ate one of the players or that a Frenchman has surrendered someplace in the world ...

41574_12845597582_5762_n.jpg

Note the lovely white zoot suit he's wearing ...

And the scoring, here's an absolute cut and paste of a score I stumbled across ...

Geelong 14.14 (98), Hawthorn 9.13 (67)
... from this we can probably deduce that Geelong (whatever) won but I have no idea what the fractions mean or the score in parenthesis means ... and no, I don't WANT to know what they mean.

It's a weird game for a weird people.

Joe

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