Noba Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 P'Shaw, you may be the oldest Justicar around these parts but don't let your incapacitiy to er, rise, to the challenge of bringing forth the Stenographers make you think you can ruin other peoples' fun. No siree, there's plenty out there willing to provide suitable laps for the Ladies as they take down, er, notes. Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Noba, Ah foond a wee bag o' dried 'nads doon tha local Op Shop. Just a wee bag, mind ye. Very wee. Wee enough tae belong tae yoo, ye sand-gropin' bilby-fondlin' git bastarrrd. At's all very waill tae bae mesmerizin' tha' wet-lipped pillock Boo As this thing on? Radley bae simply movin' ye wee hamster lads about tha field o' battle. Wha' ye need as tae bae slapped aboot ain a manly way bah a manly-man. Ah challainge ye tae a noble match o' CM:AK, after which ye'll bae beggin' fer mae tae returrrn ye wee bag o' 'nads. Very wee they are too. An' dusty. Happy Thanksgivin'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 WHY WON'T THEY EAT THE POISON?! WHY WON'T THEY STEP INTO THE SNAP-TRAPS?!! WHY ARE THE MICE DEFYING ME?!!!! It really creeps me out that they sit in the door of the kitchen and watch me while I'm on the computer in the other room. What the hell is that all about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 And while you are here, how about a Small Emma and Smaller Nora story? I could do that. Did I post the story about 'First Halloween' yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugged Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 WHY ARE THE MICE DEFYING ME?!!!! Because you don't appreciate cats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 WHY WON'T THEY EAT THE POISON?! WHY WON'T THEY STEP INTO THE SNAP-TRAPS?!! WHY ARE THE MICE DEFYING ME?!!!! It really creeps me out that they sit in the door of the kitchen and watch me while I'm on the computer in the other room. What the hell is that all about? They are probably planning the best time to attack. Most likely when you are falling down drunk and lying in puddles of your own puke. Small vermin do their best work in that type of environment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 WHY WON'T THEY EAT THE POISON?! WHY WON'T THEY STEP INTO THE SNAP-TRAPS?!! WHY ARE THE MICE DEFYING ME?!!!! It really creeps me out that they sit in the door of the kitchen and watch me while I'm on the computer in the other room. What the hell is that all about? Likely enough it's the bait ... don't believe them when they tell you that peanut butter is just as good as cheese, no sir, don't you believe them. Because I have proof, PROOF I say, that it takes GOOD OLD USA CHEESE TO PROPERLY TEMPT THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS! AND THEY DARE, DARE TO SAY PEANUT BUTTER THE SWINE, AND THEY KNOW BETTER, OH NEVER THINK THEY DON'T KNOW BETTER BUT THEY'RE IN THE MICE'S POCKETS SO THEY ARE ... OH SURE, THEY THINK WE DON'T KNOW BUT SOME OF US KNOW, OH YES, SOME OF US ARE IN THE KNOW ALL RIGHT AND WE'RE GOING TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD SO WE WILL, JUST YOU SEE IF WE DON'T! ... or it could be the traps too I suppose. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 It really creeps me out that they sit in the door of the kitchen and watch me while I'm on the computer in the other room. What the hell is that all about? They're planning something. You should be afraid. They're smarter than you are and better organized. Maybe you should just move out. Leave all the food. And a can opener. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Likely enough it's the bait ... don't believe them when they tell you that peanut butter is just as good as cheese, no sir, don't you believe them. Because I have proof, PROOF I say, that it takes GOOD OLD USA CHEESE TO PROPERLY TEMPT THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS! As usual you have it completely wrong. (Well, at least you are consistent. I guess that's something.) When I lived in the mountains, I had a problem of field mice getting in my cabin and raising hell. They were beautiful animals and much to my regret I was compelled to take action against them, so I bought a set of traps. At first I used cheese. See? I gave cheese a fair shot, I did. The mice ignored it. Completely. They may not have bothered even to sniff it. So I switched to peanut butter and wham-o!, I had about a dozen dead mice to dispose of. I guess whatever survivors there were took a vote and decided that my cabin was not such a good place to visit, because that ended my mouse problem for good. Now if I had ever caught that goddam raccoon... Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Happy Eid Al Adha! Last one to Makkah for 7 hot laps of the Kaaba is a rotten egg! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Just a wee bag, mind ye. Very wee. Look, I know you keep swallowing the marbles, 'an all, but please, can't you put a link to BabelFish in your posts, or sumfink? Use a bigger bag. The one you have covering your head stops at your nose and we can still see your gums a-flapping forever, like. Lord knows between your wandering around lost and confused, and O F J wandering around lost and confused, we have a hard time remembering who's turn it is to poke you with a stick. BTW. Have you been moonlighting for an AD Agency here in Australia. MacDonalds have a new burger ad with Faux Scotsman in it. And stupid they look as well. Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 As usual you have it completely wrong. (Well, at least you are consistent. I guess that's something.) When I lived in the mountains, I had a problem of field mice getting in my cabin and raising hell. They were beautiful animals and much to my regret I was compelled to take action against them, so I bought a set of traps. At first I used cheese. See? I gave cheese a fair shot, I did. The mice ignored it. Completely. They may not have bothered even to sniff it. So I switched to peanut butter and wham-o!, I had about a dozen dead mice to dispose of. I guess whatever survivors there were took a vote and decided that my cabin was not such a good place to visit, because that ended my mouse problem for good. Now if I had ever caught that goddam raccoon... MichaelWell of course if you're talking about FIELD mice ... But no doubt THEY'VE gotten to you as well, I can't imagine it could have cost them too much, a Facebook befriending would have more than you usually get. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 I could do that. Did I post the story about 'First Halloween' yet? I don't remember. Does it involve you trick or treating while wearing your red pointy hat? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Likely enough it's the bait ... don't believe them when they tell you that peanut butter is just as good as cheese, no sir, don't you believe them. Because I have proof, PROOF I say, that it takes GOOD OLD USA CHEESE TO PROPERLY TEMPT THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS! AND THEY DARE, DARE TO SAY PEANUT BUTTER THE SWINE, AND THEY KNOW BETTER, OH NEVER THINK THEY DON'T KNOW BETTER BUT THEY'RE IN THE MICE'S POCKETS SO THEY ARE ... OH SURE, THEY THINK WE DON'T KNOW BUT SOME OF US KNOW, OH YES, SOME OF US ARE IN THE KNOW ALL RIGHT AND WE'RE GOING TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD SO WE WILL, JUST YOU SEE IF WE DON'T! ... or it could be the traps too I suppose. Joe Easy on the type sizes Joe. That hurt my eyes! I use cheese in my mouse traps. I hate having to trap them. But I can't get myself to use poison. That sounds too cruel. Do you think glue traps are too cruel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Yes, glue traps are cruel. We had a mouse problem at an office I worked in downtown and one of our clients made rodent glue traps along with standard traps, poisons, etc. One day, one of the designers grabbed me and told me to come see this, and out in the hallway, was a mouse caught in a glue trap. It was struggling to free itself, but had all four feet caught. Then it tried to gain leverage by sticking it's nose in the glue (That's how it kills them. By asphyxiation). So, the designer said he'd had enough, grabbed a ruler and pried the mouse free, where it ran away, no doubt to spawn hundreds more disease carrying rodents. I have no problem killing rodents, but I won't make them suffer. Like I'd never let them read anything written by OGSF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 OK, definitely no glue traps. That sounds awful. I guess the old snap traps are best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 WHY WON'T THEY EAT THE POISON?! WHY WON'T THEY STEP INTO THE SNAP-TRAPS?!! WHY ARE THE MICE DEFYING ME?!!!! It really creeps me out that they sit in the door of the kitchen and watch me while I'm on the computer in the other room. What the hell is that all about? That something near mouse size with a red pointy hat is on the computer? Mice are very observant about these sort of things. I expect they want some cheese from the just-a-bit-larger red pointed-hat Mouse God? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Of course, they could just have been induced into an alcohol fumes induced stupor or.. more likely, just rigid with incomprehension (I assume they watch when the Gnome bathes, attends to the toilette and dresses) until one of the more spunky little gray buggers finds speech again to squeak. "OI!, I think I'd prefer the wet and cold, where's the door?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
costard Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 OK, definitely no glue traps. That sounds awful. I guess the old snap traps are best. Peanut brittle, a piece of string tied to your toe, a torch and a .45 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Interesting suicide plan... peanut brittle is perhaps OTT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Thats what sprays up the wall when the back of his skull blows out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Say, Stukes, do you by any chance work for Dubai World? I hear they are in hock to the tune of US$59,000,000,000. If you are on their team, that would make sense...of a certain perverted kind. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 I hear that the Sheiks who own Dubai World have just signed a big deal with Bravo to provide the next location for "Housewives of the Persian Gulf". That should get them out of hock right quick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 How dare you speak to me directly! Get back in your box under the stairs! Or must I get Joe, the rubber playsuit, the rectal funnel, the gang of field mice and a frozen brocolli out again? I recall you weren't too fond of the mice....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 [..standing around casually in a rubber playsuit...] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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