The Peng Challenge Thread Podcast - For Pods By Pods

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Abbott:

Worms, small bright spinners or jigs bounced all are top notch.

Another in the ongoing series: How to amuse Our Abbott...

[ng cavscout]

I am not at all happy. I am back in the Middle East and have about 4 months before I am done with this deployment.

Joe Shaw I blame you, how could you let this happen?

Rune I apologize for not getting back to you, time just flew away, I still have that scarf for your wife, and I will be looking for a flag for yourself. We will get together in September, when I am settled back in, and have lunch and plot the take over of the PCT for the House of Rune.

To those awaiting turns from me, I am beginning to get them out now.

Did I mention that I hate the mideast?

[Seanachai]

I think that all truly egotistical and amazing people, such as myself, should have a Small Emma to keep them in line, make them smile, and to whisper in their ear: Remember, Grandma Steve, I'm only 2 1/2 years old, and you have to do everything I say.

I would be willing to bet that, had Hitler had a Small Emma, there would not have been a Holocaust. Mind you, he still would have invaded Russia, but then, that's what it's there for. Small Emmas aren't there to keep us from being stupid, they exist primarily to remind us not to make fecking beasts of ourselves.

As part of my ongoing 'Tales of Small Emma', I would like to offer up this latest saga of 'Rampaging Bears'.

In the course of human affairs, there comes a day when the focus shifts from 'sitting on the floor in the dining room, touching the tiger's toes', to 'come here and sit in the living room in the corner, Grandma Steve, because we are hiding from the bears'. Mind, both involve creaky, stout, crabby old men having to get down and sit on their goddamn bums on hardwood floors like the Buddha with arthritis. But now, there is more whispering, and fingers to lips, and cautions about 'shhh, we don't want the bear to hear us'.

But, like the Amazons of old, there comes a moment when Small Emma casts aside sitting on the hearth rug, being quiet in the face of 'bear aggression', and commands you to 'come on, Grandma Steve! We're going to get the bear!', and the bold 2 year old leaps up like a Warriour Princess, and goes after the bear.

Grandma Steve, with a certain amount of huffing and quiet cursing, follows in her wake.

With cries of 'No, No, Bear! You be good! Okay, bear, I've got you! Grandma Steve, I've got the big bear, you come and get the small bear!', our tiny Xena takes charge.

Now, I'm not a professional bear wrestler, but I do have my pride. I'm not all that bloody tall, but I tower over this kid, and out-mass her by a factor of 5 or 6 to 1.

"Emma, why am I grabbing the small bear? Shouldn't I be grabbing the big bear, and you grab the small bear?"

"No, Grandma Steve. I have got the big bear, and you get the small bear. Now come on!"

"Emma, I think I should grab the big bear. You are, after all, a very small person. Look how much larger I am than you!"

"No, Grandma Steve. I have got the big bear already. You get the small bear, and come with me."

"Alright (vague 'grabbing a small, but definitely vicious and probably more dangerous than the big, slow, Boo-like bear' gestures ensue...). I've got the small bear. Now what?"

"Now we are going to put the bears in the fire!"

Perhaps it's my paganistic, 'the Goddess values all her creatures' background, but I'm somewhat non-plussed by the decision to conduct an Auto-da-fe with the bears.

"Emma, why are we putting the bears in the fire?"

"Because it's hot!"

Well, points for logic, there.

"Emma, if we put the bears in the fire, we will hurt them!"

And, I am glad to say, my small warriour princess friend stops to consider this fact. She stands there, clutching her hands to her chest (as a very small person might who had a very large bear grasped firmly before her, while I, to show my expertise, stand waiting with my smaller, more vicious bear held at arms length, twisting and clawing and bawling with rage).

And then she tells me:

"Okay. We are going to flush the bears down the toilet. Come on!" And she runs for the bathroom.

Now, I know that, as a spokes-creature for diversity and inter-species understanding, I should still protest this brutal treatment of bears. But I can't help myself. When was the last time you got a chance to flush rampaging bears down the toilet?

So I hot-foot it to the downstairs bathroom and join her by the toilet. Once I'm in position, and being properly attentive to her every move, she makes the 'casting away of large, brutish, angry bears into a toilet' gesture (that only the Aussies are probably routinely familiar with), and says 'You do it too, Grandma Steve!'.

I tried to reason with her. "But Emma", I told her. "Won't this just result in huge, albino bears roaming the Twin Cities sewer system, fighting with the mutant alligators?"

"No," she told me. "Now put your bear in the toilet."

And I, Goddess help me, cast my angry, squalling small bear into the toilet, too. And she gives me a big smile, and then she pulls the toilet handle to flush. She has to use both hands, because, despite her fierce nature, she's still pretty small.

And then we stand there and watch as the two bears, big and small, swirl away down the toilet.

It was wondrously freeing. All bears that formerly had caused us to hide, and whisper, have been sent away. No longer do short, drunken men and small, sweet children need to cower on hearth-rugs in fear of bears. Nor have the bears been killed. They have been sent into another place, there to make their own way, as they may.

And, as we sat there on the bathroom rug, sharing the moment that all warriours share when the enemy is overcome, I could wish that all the threats to her future could be so easily overcome.

I wished that we could flush away a monstrous deficit to fund a war with uncertain gains, and a possible legacy of hatred on both sides. I wished that we could flush away the anger of a world that will regard her with suspicion and distrust because of where she was born. I wished that we could flush away the potential of environmental catastrophe to fund short-sighted greed.

And I wish that I could flush away the fear that she might someday be raped, and that society might tell her 'that's just the way it goes', or worse, that it was somehow 'her fault'. And I wish that I could flush away the fear that she might get cancer as the 'cost of doing business'. I would like to flush away any chance that she will grow up in a society less free, or moral, or ethical than the society that I thought I was growing up in, when I was small.

I would like to flush away the chance that her future has already been flushed down the toilet by the stupidity and arrogance of people who don't even know or care that she exists when she is a small, fierce, but fair battler of bears, at 2 and 1/2 years of age.

After we flushed the bears down the toilet, we also flushed some crocodiles, some snakes, and some greedy corporate executives down the toilet. The last were my idea.

We were going to flush some other things, but then her Mom came in all mad and made us stop flushing the toilet and wasting water. That's what good moms do.

After that, we just threw the naughty animals in the toilet and watched them swim for it. And she held my hand. It made me feel better.

[ng cavscout]

little children always make you feel better. Anna, my two year old future Lady of the Pool, has a love of "scawy" movies. All through my leave I was either watching "Dora The Explorer" or "Dawn of The Dead 2004". Anna loves "'ombies". It was always "shhhh daeeey, 'ombies" and we would be quiet for a few seconds till the 'ombies left, then we could dance again, which consisted of the classic rock music station playing while Anna held my hand and ran around in circles till I got dizzy and fell down.

Katie/Hope mainly likes sleeping and eating. Just like Dad, brings a tear to my eye.

[Abbott]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Abbott:

Worms, small bright spinners or jigs bounced all are top notch.

Another in the ongoing series: How to amuse Our Abbott... </font>

[Nidan1]

Who'd have thought that the MBT could be as educational as "The Fishing Channel"?, but then again why think at all..right?

Any suggestions on the best way to cut up Boo Radley for chum? Speaking of cutting... Abbott did you ever get that new knife you were mentioning?

Seems like I'm full of questions this morning..using an old phrase that was popular when I was a youngster...If you don't like it...lump it!!!!, don't know why that came to mind all of a sudden.

In other news;

Boo (the hated one)...is pulverizing my poor little truppen with HE fire from gigantic Soviet tracked vehicles of some sort....I can't see them, but my wife is complaining that the soundwaves coming from my sub-woofer are shaking her crystal glasses in dangerous ways.

OGSF (the foole)...thinks he has the upper hand...picture a ME where one side has all the flags (his side), its an Andreas creation, so of course the German side will have all of the advantages.

Mace sends a turn on every gibbous moon cycle, so I have no idea what the hell is going on because my circadian rythm is based on the sun.

I think I have a game going with Noba , but I'm not sure.

sir 37mm Send me a set up you Limey bastard.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

We were going to flush some other things, but then her Mom came in all mad and made us stop flushing the toilet and wasting water. That's what good moms do.

After that, we just threw the naughty animals in the toilet and watched them swim for it. And she held my hand. It made me feel better.

If you were an Uncle instead of a Grandma, you would have taught her to flush the good silverware down the toilet too.

Hey, bears gotta eat…

[Abbott]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

Any suggestions on the best way to cut up Boo Radley for chum? Speaking of cutting... Abbott did you ever get that new knife you were mentioning?

I own two of the knives I mentioned both are made by SpyderCo and are excellent tools. The one I use daily has a 4-inch fully serrated blade. The other model I bought for my wife as her first anniversary present. It has a 50% serrated 4-inch blade and I carry it once a year when I ship my knife back to SpyderCo for refurbishing. They return it just like new every year honoring their Lifetime guarantee. What a thoughtful and clever guy I can be when purchasing gifts for my wife. It was a perfect win/win situation and I'm telling you guys...nothing says happy anniversary like a new SpyderCo!

[Abbott]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Remember, Grandma Steve,

Maybe it's the wig and house dress.

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

But then, I worry. Will being made a 'Seniour Knight' make him proud? Forget his place? Will he attempt to take my foot off his neck and climb onto his hind-legs, and bleat out some nonsense about being a 'free being worthy of respect'?

He's already insufferably arrogant. Although I do applaud his current campaign to have Joebob fettered, flogged, and flayed.

Michael

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Besides ... you're not even a Seniour Knight.

Joe

'That can always be fixed', as Dick Cheney said to the Haliburton Exec worried about Pentagon audits of non-competitive bids.

Boo could, of course, be elevated. Not that he isn't already oafishly large and somewhat bumbling, but he could be raised up to the status of 'Seniour Knight'.

But then, I worry. Will being made a 'Seniour Knight' make him proud? Forget his place? Will he attempt to take my foot off his neck and climb onto his hind-legs, and bleat out some nonsense about being a 'free being worthy of respect'?

I can't do without my Caliban, after all. </font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Besides ... you're not even a Seniour Knight.

Joe

'That can always be fixed', as Dick Cheney said to the Haliburton Exec worried about Pentagon audits of non-competitive bids.

Boo could, of course, be elevated. Not that he isn't already oafishly large and somewhat bumbling, but he could be raised up to the status of 'Seniour Knight'.

But then, I worry. Will being made a 'Seniour Knight' make him proud? Forget his place? Will he attempt to take my foot off his neck and climb onto his hind-legs, and bleat out some nonsense about being a 'free being worthy of respect'?

I can't do without my Caliban, after all. </font>

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

p.s. In Denver today, writing from my hotel room ... not a bad room, not at all.

Why is it that you travel so much? Are you not permitted to conduct business in your own state?

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

p.s. In Denver today, writing from my hotel room ... not a bad room, not at all.

Why is it that you travel so much? Are you not permitted to conduct business in your own state? </font>

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

p.s. In Denver today, writing from my hotel room ... not a bad room, not at all.

Why is it that you travel so much? Are you not permitted to conduct business in your own state? </font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Besides ... you're not even a Seniour Knight.

Joe

'That can always be fixed', as Dick Cheney said to the Haliburton Exec worried about Pentagon audits of non-competitive bids.

Boo could, of course, be elevated. Not that he isn't already oafishly large and somewhat bumbling, but he could be raised up to the status of 'Seniour Knight'.

But then, I worry. Will being made a 'Seniour Knight' make him proud? Forget his place? Will he attempt to take my foot off his neck and climb onto his hind-legs, and bleat out some nonsense about being a 'free being worthy of respect'?

I can't do without my Caliban, after all. </font>

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Besides ... you're not even a Seniour Knight.

Joe

'That can always be fixed', as Dick Cheney said to the Haliburton Exec worried about Pentagon audits of non-competitive bids.

Boo could, of course, be elevated. Not that he isn't already oafishly large and somewhat bumbling, but he could be raised up to the status of 'Seniour Knight'.

But then, I worry. Will being made a 'Seniour Knight' make him proud? Forget his place? Will he attempt to take my foot off his neck and climb onto his hind-legs, and bleat out some nonsense about being a 'free being worthy of respect'?

I can't do without my Caliban, after all. </font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

That's because it was YOU saying it ... "Dwobbed Yuhtensill Gwate" doesn't sound too good, if you'd just stayed with Silverwaregate you'd have been fine, but NO ... you had to go change it

Siverwaregate is far too unwieldy. Not unlike your wit. It's a heavy cumbersome thing that has the turning radius of the Graf Spee.

Furthermore I did NOT roar and I have nothing to hide, everything was above board ... by that I mean, of course, the floor joists since all the siverware was ON the floor.

Ah, you did not roar when your forbade a Lady of the Pool to take your picture. Did you mumble it, knowing that you were stepping far over the line? Or just say it in a normal voice, figuring that you were the Justicar and no one would dare gainsay you?

Hmmmmmm?

You're just on a fishing expedition ... probably for Bull Trout if I read the MBT properly today.

Joe

No fishing expedition. I have it on the highest authority and you will admit your mistake. Of that you have my promise.

[stoat]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by stoat:

I've heard croppie and crappie, but I'll yield to your superior knowledge of ichthyology, and shall refer to tham as crappie.

. Where are you from, again? Illinois? What part of Illinois? Anything outside Chicagoland is just unreclaimed portions of Indiana, you know.</font>

[Patchy]

I think Seanachai should write children's books. That was a cute story.

And I do remember Joe making it very clear that I NOT take a picture of him while he was holding the silverware drawer...silverware scattered all over the kitchen floor. I think Seanachai might have been in the bathroom when it happened. Gnomes don't hold their beer well, they have such small bladders.

[juan_gigante]

I found a quote which pretty well describes Seanachai.

Originally written by Thomas Fuller:

Old age is not so fiery as youth, but when once provoked cannot be appeased.

The killer? It's from a book called Gnomologia.

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Patchy:

I think Seanachai should write children's books. That was a cute story.

Way too much symbolism and underlying meaning for kids to get....now if they were flushing real bears down the crapper instead of symbolic fears.... now that would be neat.

[Stuka]

Tut, tut, tut, Seanachi.

Boo....the Boo...you mean Boo Radley....a Seniour Kniggett?

Tis to laugh....

I believe all holders of the status of 'Seniour Kniggett' had to have posted wayyyy back in the original MBT.... or sumfink???

hence Boo is rendered unqualified for the title.

I understand Boo to be your favoured henchman and so is the apple of your eye but a Seniour Kniggett?

I mean....REALLY!

I'd wager Joe would agree and no doubt have something.....oh.....verbose to say on the matter.

How about you campaign for a different title for your widdle Boopsie?

Perhaps Seniour henchman or sumsuch?

Anyhoos, why the push to pretty Boo up?

Dress him any way you like and you've got an Orc in a dinner suit.....

[ April 06, 2006, 07:00 AM: Message edited by: Stuka ]

[Boo Radley]

Once again, Stuka-Nuka-Puka-Pants shows himself to be a large, hooting orangutan with all the observational skills of a used band aid.

Yeknodathon was made a Senior Kanniget something like three years ago just for being extremely bizarre.

Papa Kahn was made a Senior Kanniget two years ago or so, for whatever reason. All I can assume is that large amounts of booze and money must have changed hands.

So, once again, you are wrong, wrong, wrong! The sun may continue to rise in the East and set in the West, for Stuka is still wrong.

[Stuka]

Ye gods!

Two years ago?....three years ago?....

I'm flat out remembering what I did yesterday.

Mind, your post merely confirms you have coveted the 'Seniour' title for some considerable time and are merely milking poor Seanachai, preying upon his kind and gentle nature, feeding on his trust with evil intend and malice aforethought in order to further your climb up the ranks of this brother/sister/undefined-hood ranks.

To shame sir...to shame...