Mace Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 ...nor scream for that matter of fact. Ah fegg it. If you haven't learnt the rules by now, you're a fegging moron. Yes you heard me, a MORON!!! *mad* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Joe!,Joe! Mace forgot da rules! He's left the front door open and all sorts of Emry's will wander in here and make a mess behind the sofa. Somebody fix or do sumfink! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoat Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Originally posted by Mace: Yes you heard me, a MORON!!! *mad* I love a good compliment. Now, where's your sofa? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 A mad ‘un ARR: A Messianic production Sir 37mm, Leading light of the house of JD Morse Vs Jiggly Gungun of the House of Pawnbrokers So, roight like, Me & Jiggly were right up for an old ding dong bruiser Top dorito style. Jiggly chose the old parameters & I ended up facing a Kraut attack on me Tommy village… sorted! I picked me’self a company of top geezers, a ‘top dog for Xmas’ Valentine (the old 6pounder will surely sort those krauts up like) & some bruising support weapons (3”’ers mostly as well as the obligatory Vickers). I set it all up tactically like taking into account **** like terrain & stuff… It was a proper well ard defence if I say so me’self… which I do like. It was especially ‘ard for anyone who’d attack me from right flank. Which was a shame as Jiggly’s blokes started popping up on me left flank crossing from cover to cover like… all careful like. He was being subtle cos me Vickers kept on busting up his troops all good & proper like. They’d spot one of his geezers & start going BBBBBRRRRRRUUUUUUBBBBBBRRRRRUUUUUBBBBRRRRUUU And his geezers would start tasting dirt to avoid that **** Still my fire must’ve got im all shirty or sumfink cos he then started bring up these half track thingys with a 75mm gun… now there was nothing more that I wanted to do than send those daft buggars straight to hell with me 6pounder & me Valentine but I got thinking right… using the old ‘grey matter’ like. What if he knock’s me big guns out yet still has better stuff still to come like, I thought to myself? So I held me fire waiting for an opportune moment to strike… my mortars had a go at busting his halftracks up but failed abysmally. What my mortars & mortar FO’s did do well was dropping lots of HE **** on iiggly’s geezers. It was a load of fun watching his troops flee & go to ground all the time… them & the Vickers must’ve held Jiggly up for 20 minutes on their bleedin own. I believed I saw an ‘opportunity to strike’ with me valentine & bag a couple of his bleedin half tracks… It weren’t a proper opportunity though & my daft sod ended up getting the ****e kicked out of him by a couple of 75mm HC rounds, if I ain't none too mistaken. Worse old Jiggly’s geezers were getting closer to the old 'restrictd areas' like, which proved to be rather problematic for me Vickers… it seemed to take Jiggly another 10 minutes but he eventually knocked ‘em both out & then he started dishing out the same ****e to me ratted out 3”ers (again Jiggly seemed to be in no particular rush to finish em off). So’s it finally came clear to old Jiggly that he had to like get somewhere with this attacking lark like & yet his clock was running out (and it wasn’t like he’d been mean with the parameters, 45+ turns is usually enough for any battle me old granny used to say & she knew a thing or two about battles she did… them & whoaring but that’s another tale). So it suddenly dawned on ‘im that he had to give up on this ‘cautious’ lark right when it bleedin’ mattered most… when the old ding dong gets up close & personal like. Short of it is that one of his assaults (on me left most flag… a proper 300 one defended initially by one platoon which was then reinforced to two platoons) led to the loss of an half track, a shocked PzIV (which was lucky to survive), several slaughtered squads/HQ’s with the rest of his shattered blokes ending up hundreds of meters from his objective… luckily for 'im this was enough to contest me flag! The other one of his assaults also lost a half track but proved far more successful mostly on account of it being set up to defeat an attack from my right. The final few radio messages from me defenders are quite revealing… LIEUTENANT: “We’re in quite the pickle… requesting aid & support” (3minutes later) SERGEANT: “we’re in a roight ruddy mess here … some help from the rest of you buggars wouldn’t be amiss” My platoon was wiped out, the objective lost & only Jiggly’s lack of balls coupled with the endless hail of pistol shot’s (those crews weren’t pleased with the loss of their mortars) meant I got to claim another smaller one on me right. A minor defeat but it was the flags I tell ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Originally posted by stoat: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace: Yes you heard me, a MORON!!! *mad* I love a good compliment. Now, where's your sofa? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Meanwhile, all the Ozzies slap their foreskins while Kitty watches in amazement at this show of Down Under camradery... Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Not this again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 'fraid so... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 So it's Stuka, Speedy, Mace, and me in the motel. WOOO HOO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Originally posted by Kitty: So it's Stuka, Speedy, Mace, and me in the motel. WOOO HOO! Emrys watches from behind the partition, lurking, but still caught on camera, pleasuring himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Originally posted by Kitty: Emrys watches from behind the partition, lurking, but still caught on camera, pleasuring himself. What a disturbing mental image. Make it go away Kitty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Stuka, as you wish . . . *Soothing music plays* Emrys: Hi, I'm Emrys. Yoda: Hi, I'm Yoda. In our collective 1,000 years we've discovered a common problem...erectile dysfunction. *serious music plays* Emrys: But thanks to this new miracle pill, we can remain the perverts we always have strived to be! Yoda: *ignites light sabre to a standing tall position* Each "high - fives" each other and smiles broadly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 You been inbibing 'magic christmas dust' there Miss Kitty? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Originally posted by Stuka: You been inbibing 'magic christmas dust' there Miss Kitty? You have the bent gull wing problem too then, STUKA? *concerned* =| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Ps - You can't spell. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Originally posted by Kitty: You have the bent gull wing problem too then, STUKA? *concerned* =| don't forget the exposed undercarraige.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Originally posted by Kitty: Ps - You can't spell. =) Not only that, he's a nebbish. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Wankers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 I thought me & Kitty got married a while back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty: Ps - You can't spell. =) Not only that, he's a nebbish. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 and take Dalem with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Originally posted by dalem: I thought me & Kitty got married a while back? Kitty and 'I', not 'me and Kitty'... anyone would think you were educated in minnescrota. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Originally posted by dalem: I thought me & Kitty got married a while back? You said we could date other people . . . right? =| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 that was his other wife.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Wow! Wait . . . I thought this was all cool. *kicks down the partition, exposing a peeping Emrys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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