The Peng Challenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold...

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />As the door smacks yer festering Canuckian butt on the way out, why not take Yeknod out for a walk. He's been annoying the residents with his ceaseless braying again.

Quite right too Lawyer. I can only assume that OGSF, using what passes among the Scots for humor, finds his unutterably witty. We just find him unutterable. Witness his latest:

Dear YK2

Hiding, Me Lady, in me closet? Oh, no me Me Lady, no, no.. me closets are open to yer 24x7x365 for a full rummage... er, oh, aha... all buried Me Lady, I remember now, burried during a spot of canine phobia treatment... "woof"..., there I go again. Rest assured Me Lady, there is nothing to interest Hanns in me draws... cupboard draws.

Me Lady, excuse me while I *boot* kick the Nobbit *boot*

It's almost Pawbroonish isn't it ... I mean without the Pawbroon charm. I wonder what he was trying to say? Amazing what a few weeks without meds will do isn't it.

Joe</font>

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

It's almost Pawbroonish isn't it ...

Nope, not even close......

I mean without the Pawbroon charm.

Still not even close.....

I wonder what he was trying to say?

Yeah, me too.... I tried Babbelfish for a translation, what do you think JOE

Caro Yk2 Nascondendosi, me signora, in me armadio? L' OH, nessun me me signora, no, no.. me armadi è aperto a yer 24x7x365 per un rummage pieno... er, l' OH, tutto di aha... sepolto me signora, io si ricorda di ora, burried durante il punto del trattamento canino... " woof " di phobia..., là io va ancora. Il resto lo ha assicurato che la signora, là non è niente interessare Hanns me dissipa... l' armadietto dissipa. Me signora, lo scuso mentre I * caricamento del sistema * dare dei calci al Nobbit * caricamento del sistema *

Much better, don't you think ?

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

(Family Day in Alberta, don't you know, only state or province in North America to have a stat holiday in February...woohoo!)

We have Presidents' Day on Monday. As soon as you Canucks give up on this silly idea that you are some sort of independent country, and come back to the fold, you can have that day off as well.

[Joe Shaw]

Dame YK2, I tried doing another translation from Italian to English ... still not much help:

Beloved Yk2 Nascondendosi, me mrs., in me closet? The OH, no me me mrs., not. me closets is not opened to yer 24x7x365 for a rummage full... er, the OH, all of aha... buried me mrs., I is remembered of hour, burried during the point of the canine treatment... " woof " of phobia..., I goes here still. The rest has assured it that the mrs., is not nothing here to interest Hanns me dissipates... the cabinet dissipates. Me mrs., I excuse it while * the loading of the system * to give of soccer to the Nobbit * loading of the siste

It must mean SOMETHING though ... mustn't it?

Joe

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Dame YK2, I tried doing another translation from Italian to English ... still not much help:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Beloved Yk2 Nascondendosi, me mrs., in me closet? The OH, no me me mrs., not. me closets is not opened to yer 24x7x365 for a rummage full... er, the OH, all of aha... buried me mrs., I is remembered of hour, burried during the point of the canine treatment... " woof " of phobia..., I goes here still. The rest has assured it that the mrs., is not nothing here to interest Hanns me dissipates... the cabinet dissipates. Me mrs., I excuse it while * the loading of the system * to give of soccer to the Nobbit * loading of the siste

It must mean SOMETHING though ... mustn't it?

Joe</font>

[Croda]

Originally posted by Noba:

Michael, a quick poll of the pool uncovers {shudder} the following.

Those in favour - Croda

Those not in favour - everyone else. Quite conclusive.

(Mind you, the headless Gnome has been known to do the trolling around for most of the pool. I think he lists it as a fetish on his resume... a bit like a hobby for him really.

Put that with his animal fetish and it's a potent mix.

Noba.

What the hell are you again?

[OGSF]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />As the door smacks yer festering Canuckian butt on the way out, why not take Yeknod out for a walk. He's been annoying the residents with his ceaseless braying again.

Quite right too Lawyer. I can only assume that OGSF, using what passes among the Scots for humor, finds his unutterably witty. We just find him unutterable. Witness his latest:

Dear YK2

Hiding, Me Lady, in me closet? Oh, no me Me Lady, no, no.. me closets are open to yer 24x7x365 for a full rummage... er, oh, aha... all buried Me Lady, I remember now, burried during a spot of canine phobia treatment... "woof"..., there I go again. Rest assured Me Lady, there is nothing to interest Hanns in me draws... cupboard draws.

Me Lady, excuse me while I *boot* kick the Nobbit *boot*

It's almost Pawbroonish isn't it ... I mean without the Pawbroon charm. I wonder what he was trying to say? Amazing what a few weeks without meds will do isn't it.

Joe</font>

[Croda]

Originally posted by OGSF:

Unless ye're a knicker-wettin' Uber-git etc.

Nobody calls me a knicker-wettin anything, be it man, woman, or Scot! A file will find your inbox shortly!.

[Geier]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Twit! We do not accept payment for a worthy cause.

I take offense to that statement. We have on numerous occasions accepted payment for just about any sort of cause, we're fairly certain some of them were just. After a fashion. Times being what they are.

And payments can always be justified, no matter what the times happen to be.

Ethan, Andreas, mensch and MRPeng (note correct spellink), send me a frickin turn.

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Geier:

MRPeng (note correct spellink)

Ooops........ now you've done it....

:eek:

[ February 16, 2002, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: YK2 ]

[Guest PondScum]

Pond Update!

Those reports where I am French and my opponent is dying are marked <font size=-3>I hate Dalem</font>.

Berlichtingen is teaching me why not to set up pillboxes whilst drunk. Unlike Anna Nicole Smith, my two primary assets have benefited me nothing. I am reduced to throwing rocks at the one Sherman still moving. And one day less in purgatory comes out about even, since the fair Persephone had me mucking out Yeknod's paddock for a day. At least the tortured souls in purgatory are comprehensible.

Goanna's immoral lizardness still has my stolen quote, but with a title like To The Last Man I have high hopes of a pointless and distressing bloodfest in our little grudge match. My Tommies are strolling around the French countryside, wondering when tea is. Cue HMGs.

Noba is dying-a-lot in Le Camp Crossroads, while my halftracks unload approx 1850 bursts of MG fire on the map. I particularly enjoy the antics of his mortar-team-of-eternal-life, who fled from my bazooka guys in the woods, only to end up 5m from another mortar team - mine. None of these soldiers thought to bash each other over the heads with the BIG METAL TUBES that they're carrying. Noba also hasn't suffered enough Destruction of the 112th yet, but I'm counting on my flyboys to do the hard work for me, since I appear to have been given two French tincans and a regimental poodle to take the objective with. <font size=-3>I hate Dalem twice as much</font>

chrisl advances through a foggy town to try to retain The Name Of Peng. I shoot him. He blows up buildings. We both drop lots of big artillery. Life is good. <font size=-3>But I still hate Dalem</font>.

Yeknod has forgotten that I sent him a setup while he was drunk. And while annoying Joe is a fine occupation, SENDING ME A TURN is a better one. <font size=-3>Then I can hate Dalem</font>

Sledge59 and I are exchanging hideous massacres in the woods on The Road to Toulon. The psychic pain of sending my troops to certain death is alleviated only by the knowledge that they're French. <font size=-3>Did I mention that I hate Dalem?<font>

[Patchy]

Originally posted by PondScum:

And one day less in purgatory comes out about even, since the fair Persephone had me mucking out Yeknod's paddock for a day. At least the tortured souls in purgatory are comprehensible.

PondScum, you did a great job mucking out Yeknod's paddock...I know it's a horrible job, but somebody had to do it.

Kick Wussl's Ass! Bring back Peng! (And the Wussl's photograph.)

Persephone

[ February 16, 2002, 06:01 PM: Message edited by: Persephone ]

[CMplayer]

Gracious Lorak,

May it be updated in my vital stats, that I stand now at 3 wins, 2 draws and no losses in 'pool matches, for:

In Sir Marlow the Merry's scenario Christmas Present:

CMplayer (as the 101'st airborne) just outside of Bastogne

vs

Sledge (as the hobnailed teutonic oppressors) with a huge number of now burning tigers

have squared off yielding the result: an unfair ripoff of a DRAW!

There's not much to say. His infantry came forward, my guys shot his guys, his tanks shot my guys, my bazookas died trying to shoot his skirted tanks.

Skirted tanks?

I fall back to new fighting positions and repeat as above. Along the way the allied M10s gave worse than they got. At the end his infantry was dead or soon to be dead, while what was left of his armor was converging on the VL, where they were soon to be swarmed over by tommy gun wielding, gammon bomb toting, mohawk sporting, painted faced, big-pocketed, hubba-hubba shouting, grossly undermodelled yank paras, which is why I should've won. So there.

[ February 16, 2002, 06:04 PM: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[Joe Shaw]

Sae ye see Joe Ah'd fit ye boot mah suspenders are tangled Shaw? E'en as ye cam slinkin' ain baheend tha petticoats o' Fair Emma tae spit ye wee barbs at mae Squire Yeknod, tha useless pillock o' a paddock pounder as alraidy go' tha measure o' ye!

Tha Fair Emma as a canny lass, an' ken a mildly amusin' squire af'n she sees wun. On tha other hand, yoo Joe are a blustery buffon, ready tae

jump on tha pile af'n tha as wun, boot nae unlaiss ye've bin lead tae tha spot bah whichever hapless poodle sniffer flushed ye oot o' ye mouldy nest tae start. Who were at thais teem, Lawyer, tha musty Sumo thong?

ummm ... no ... no, thanks I've already eaten. {pssst, I think that's what he said but for all I know he could have been calling me names. Now I think I can see why he chose the squire he did. Do you suppose they can understand EACH OTHER?}

Joe

[Yeknodathon]

[As the labouring sun drains its last rays into the unwelcoming sod, a figure can be made out in the paddock having a bit of an emotional episode. Seems the closets are having a spring-clean]

*mutter* *mutter* bang, crash *mumble* feckin, useless *mutter* bang twitcher jockeys crash *mutter* *mumble*.... (sigh).... feckin, "rat-a-tat-a-tat" *mutter* "rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat", oh, LET ME PUT THAT THROUGH A BLEEDIN TRANSLATOR... *crash* *bang* *bang* ABSENT WITHOUT LEAVE *mutter* crash

[ February 16, 2002, 07:08 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[BFCElvis]

Did I remember to call you people wankers?

[Croda]

Originally posted by Elvis:

Did I remember to call you people wankers?

With as often as wanking enters your mind, I highly doubt it.

[Croda]

Anyone else notice that these Australians are really doing great in the skiing events at the Olympics in Joe Shaw City?

Congratulations, you Aussies. Those guys are doing your country proud!

[Gates-slut]

Dorosh, old sod, so gald you could drop in. Your first post on the previous page made me snicker a bit and a voice interrupted my continuous psychotic inner duodecalogue with "hmmm, that Dorosh can be pretty durn funny sometimes."

Then you posted again. And again. And AGAIN. The hooting and hollering and screeching and yappa yapp yapping all came to a halt and a small still voice said, "See! That's why we Penged the rat-bastard in the first place!"

As Gates-slut we haven't had the fire in the belly we once had as Peng. As life continues, we find we have less time to read page after page of outre threads and therefore find fewer complete ninnies such as yourself at whom we feel compelled to bellow. Had we really had a head of steam last night JasonC would have gotten the full treatment he so richly deserves. As it stands the little thing was all we could muster.

Sad, really, the aging crank. But there it is. Some artists are one hit wonders, some have legs and some produce greatness until they are dead. I fear I am none of them. Just a crank.

Piss off

Gates-slut

edited because we have not had enough lousey american pilsner in us yet

[ February 16, 2002, 09:40 PM: Message edited by: Gates-slut ]

[Leeo]

I would like to announce the topplement of Croda in our recent game entitled Gamey Bastards. I had more points and more flak, while Croda apparently had more white hankies.

<big>Game On!</big>

[Marlow]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

In Sir Marlow the Merry's scenario Christmas Present:

CMplayer (as the 101'st airborne) just outside of Bastogne

vs

Sledge (as the hobnailed teutonic oppressors) with a huge number of now burning tigers

Reviews at the Scenario Depot, lads. Do it or Berli will add extra brimstone to the fire when he finally gets his sooty mits on your immortal souls.

[Speedy]

Originally posted by Croda:

Anyone else notice that these Australians are really doing great in the skiing events at the Olympics in Joe Shaw City?

Congratulations, you Aussies. Those guys are doing your country proud!

I always fall in the water when I go skiing.

[Sledge59]

CMplayer reported:

Gracious Lorak,

May it be updated in my vital stats, that I stand now at 3 wins, 2 draws and no losses in 'pool matches, for:

In Sir Marlow the Merry's scenario Christmas Present:

CMplayer (as the 101'st airborne) just outside of Bastogne

vs

Sledge (as the hobnailed teutonic oppressors) with a huge number of now burning tigers

have squared off yielding the result: an unfair ripoff of a DRAW!

There's not much to say. His infantry came forward, my guys shot his guys, his tanks shot my guys, my bazookas died trying to shoot his skirted tanks.

Skirted tanks?

I fall back to new fighting positions and repeat as above. Along the way the allied M10s gave worse than they got. At the end his infantry was dead or soon to be dead, while what was left of his armor was converging on the VL, where they were soon to be swarmed over by tommy gun wielding, gammon bomb toting, mohawk sporting, painted faced, big-pocketed, hubba-hubba shouting, grossly undermodelled yank paras, which is why I should've won. So there.

We came

We saw

We beat each other to a pulp

We didn't win or lose...

We barely played the game

Final score:

CM I had it sooo easy player 39

Sledge Against tremendous odds 59 40

DRAW

'Twas a nasty little scenario. We had no Tigers, just some wimpy Mark IV's. There were no rangefinding microphones on our SMG's. We couldn't see anything in the fog until those over-armed punks fired. It wasn't easy to challenge that flag in the alloted time, but it got done.

[Noba]

Croda, you useless piece of dirt. It is noted that more people hate you than any other. You poor existence is to be commended for one thing only. To be the object of so much well directed derision is to obtain a high honor for one so worthless. Not only are you without credence, your ability to be a worthwhile opponent is sadly lacking. Still, if someone has to kick your sad, sorry arse then who am I to hold back on the swing of the boot.

Send me a setup. Preferably no larger than 1500 points in a meeting. You get to choose details, but please, no snow.

Noba.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Sledge59:

It is my sad duty to inform the members of the ‘Pool that I have again failed to lose a game to the kanniget, Leeo. I tried. I really did. He just wouldn’t have any of that “winning” stuff, the rotten dog.

Perhaps Leeo was overconfident, for he rushed a swarm of British tanks headlong into an accidentally deadly trap during the first turns...

Seanachai, I’ll send along this tattered dog ear for the next batch of soup; or would you rather let Berli munch on this one?

Sludge

I...You...you played as the Germans!

Please tell me that Leeo insisted on playing as the Brits.

My gods, that I should live to see a Squire of mine play as the Germans.

What's next, lad, sending me artist's renderings from a pedophilia trial?

I must get a grip. The lad has done no more than what he was commanded, which was to bring me ears. And, however they were achieved, I rather fancy the Leeo ears.

Try not to think about how it was achieved.