Bugger The Demo, Sod Pre-Ordering, Read In Order To Let Seanachai Know You Hate Him

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by R_Leete:

He's probably off polishing his gavel.

I am not. I let the wife handle that, thank you.

BTW, you just made the List!

Steve

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by R_Leete:

He's probably off polishing his gavel.

I am not. I let the wife handle that, thank you.

Steve</font>

[Firefly]

Originally posted by Lord General MB:

Bugger to ll of you! (espacaily Senachi [or whatever]).

Were you thinking of a particular 11 people or will any 11 do?

[rleete]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

BTW, you just made the List!

Is this your "I wish I was more like these people" list? Why, thank you.

[LGMB]

Thats right, I hate all 11 of you! The foolz...

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Lord General MB:

Thats right, I hate all 11 of you! The foolz...

Wow...eleven. I didn't think you could count that high. Ten, sure. Maybe even ten and a half.

So where IS Shiny Key?

[Seanachai]

QUIET! SOD ALL THIS CESSPOOLER CHATTINESS, YOU LOT! I'M TRYING TO GARNER SOME REAL WORLD, SIGNIFICANT HATE HERE!

I want the hatred of Grogs. Pseudo-Grogs. Ladder Players. General Forum mouth-breathers.

I want the hatred of every single half-wit who had to post, at length, and with depressing predictability, that they didn't like the Demo.

I want the hate of every one of the whining little cretins that didn't like the Two Free Scenarios! (didn't like the freebies? Buy the game, you toads. Christ, I haven't even bothered playing all the goddamn scenarios that came with CMBO! I've been too busy playing QBs, Third Party PBEM setups, User Created Scenarios, and all that incredible tonnage of possible, potential, and, in fact, actualized gameplay possibility provided by the engine.)

I want the hate of all the merry little whingers whose most particular 'ooh, that's my favourite' pet special feature that was never-promised-but-whose-inclusion-had-to-be-assumed-because-I-wanted-it-by-God didn't make it into the game, and are now sulking, drinking really cheap beer and alcohol, and feeling all betrayed.

And I don't want to hear from any of you lot that 'you don't have the time', or 'can't be bothered', or 'you simply don't care enough to hate Seanachai'.

Make it your business, you lot!

Every single one of you swine have the time, and certainly can be bothered.

We're talking about a community that has routinely argued, to the point of frothing at the mouth, such ludicrous issues as the Bren Tripod, running Heavy Machine Guns, and 'I Want the Right to Mod Dead Guys Laid Out in Decorative Patterns With Intestines Cunningly Displayed'.

I've watched people discuss, with gritted teeth, the concept of 88mm penetration, mantlet armour, and whether mathematical formulae can adequately recreate the actions of weapons used in combat before most of them were even born; and all while telling each other, as courteously as possible, that they're not fit to tote guts to a bear at the zoo.

So, take a moment away from your busy schedule of noting errors of omission or commmission on one of your many Excel spreadsheets, or making another note in your Journal as how 'X of the Combat Mission Forum was insufferable to me today, arguing against my model of Commonwealth equipment distribution', or having that last, long look in the mirror after your latest 'ladder' victory, and telling yourself 'you're a star. A bright shining star'.

Give over that last, before sleep cry about how your 'roster' didn't make it into the game, or that last, choked round of cursing over how "those scenarios don't hold a patch on 'Valley of Trouble'".

Forget, for a moment, if you will, that Seanachai is too insignificant a blip on your forum participation to be worth the application of your hatred.

Set all these things aside, and prepare a letter, or a card, or a postcard, and mail it away today, telling Seanachai how much you hate him.

It can be as long, and full, and as detailed as your deepest, innermost feelings about your favourite weapons system, or a mere, perfunctory 'Seanachai. How I hate you. Do the world a favour and expire.'

I will, as suggested here, be posting THE VERY BEST, MOST EGREGIOUS, HATE FILLED MISSIVES. Also, the most humorous cards, graphics, etc.

And, for those of you who still feel yourself unmoved to take the few minutes necessary to hate me properly, remember, I've been on this Forum for a long, long time now.

I know who you all are.

I have lists.

And, like an Evil, Ugly, Anti-Santa, I will be checking them twice.

A letter, card, or postcard could save you from drawing my particular attention.

Or, worse yet, the unspeakable degradation of becoming my 'new, best Forum pal'.

Do you really want to explain me to all your Grog friends?

So write today. Quickly. The clock is ticking, and I'm ticking names off the list.

[Bastables]

I’m a fallen Cesspooler and acknowledged pseudo grog.

I also believe Snipe’s tour de force Blade II to be a more accurate rendition of eastern front combat than CMBB could ever hope to be.

I hate you Senascum

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

All sorts of weird existential, macabre mouth nutterings.

I've already sent you a damn card! Do I have to send another? Is this some kind of mobius trip back to my days in parochial school and you're Sister Seanachai of the Little Sisters of the Presumtuous Assumption, saying "It's not GOOD enough! Do it again!"

Hey! Olde man, I've paid my dues!

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Bastables:

I’m a fallen Cesspooler and acknowledged pseudo grog.

I also believe Snipe’s tour de force Blade II to be a more accurate rendition of eastern front combat than CMBB could ever hope to be.

I hate you Senascum

That's a lovely thought, and I honour you for it.

Now send me a letter, card, or postcard you annoying little Kiwi git, or I'll start a whole thread on what I know about you...

(we wondered where you'd got to)

In fact, state clearly and for all the other particpants that you're about to send me a venom filled missive, or I'll have Persephone do an absolutely hideous Photoshop rendition of you, and no one will believe it's made up, no matter how despicable and impossible it might be.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

I've already sent you a damn card! Do I have to send another? Is this some kind of mobius trip back to my days in parochial school and you're Sister Seanachai of the Little Sisters of the Presumtuous Assumption, saying "It's not GOOD enough! Do it again!"

Hey! Olde man, I've paid my dues!

Others await our judgement. You, Boo Radley are free.

Card arrived today. Still haven't enough to cover the hole in the wall.

You might want to consider sending something more venomous.

Although that motel on the card looks to be where God would stick the cosmic enema. Or would, if it weren't in Illinois. Even God won't touch the arse-end of Illinois, for whatever reason.

[LGMB]

Any moment now... Someone will come in here and say something pointless and repetitive. Oh wait.

[Speedy]

Cheer up Seanachai, no matter how low you sink I will still hate you.

P.S.- My card is in the mail tomorrow, expect it in a month or two.

{edit- forgot to mention that due to the excessive postage costs I will be forced to send the card COD.}

[ September 15, 2002, 03:57 AM: Message edited by: Speedy ]

[Bastables]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

That's a lovely thought, and I honour you for it.

Now send me a letter, card, or postcard you annoying little Kiwi git, or I'll start a whole thread on what I know about you...

(we wondered where you'd got to)

In fact, state clearly and for all the other particpants that you're about to send me a venom filled missive, or I'll have Persephone do an absolutely hideous Photoshop rendition of you, and no one will believe it's made up, no matter how despicable and impossible it might be.

Why you grotesque horrid little man. So now you have my skeletons eh? Or else you’re saying you have my skeletons and a picture of me when in fact you do not. All in an attempt to have me waste time writing WRITING how much I hate you. Fine! You want reassurance then you can have it SenaPoppet.

[Firefly]

Dear Mr. Seanachai,

We at Firefly Productions PLC would like to thank you for your recent request for a 'card' in which we express our undying hatred for you. We have recently entered into a commercial arrangement with Messrs Barnes and Noble which means that our North American customers can buy 'cards' directly from retail outlets in North America. However, as is normal with such arrangements, the prohibition on cross boundary competiton means that we are unable to supply you with a 'card' directly.

In addition we regret that due to stipulations in Mexican law (over which Firefly Productions PLC has no control), the 'cards' available in North America do not contain the words 'Dear Seanachai, I hate you, love Firefly', however the 'cards' can be easily modded by you or another member of the community if this wording is important to you. We thank you for your continued interest in our products.

yours etc.

[ September 15, 2002, 09:07 AM: Message edited by: Firefly ]

[Porkbrain]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

[QB]QUIET! SOD ALL THIS CESSPOOLER CHATTINESS, YOU LOT! I'M TRYING TO GARNER SOME REAL WORLD, SIGNIFICANT HATE HERE!

I want the hatred of Grogs. Pseudo-Grogs. Ladder Players. General Forum mouth-breathers.

I want the hatred of every single half-wit

Done.

Git.

My cat has nothing but admiration for your priceless prose.

He is only young of course.

Git

[boots]

Seanachai.......its true i havent sent a card..but the reason is "i love you"...its quite true, i've read your message to the universe and have found it unwanting in its brutal assesments and conclusions...well, except for the "cockroaches" living large at our atomic expense.....So, carry on you armored bishop of the realm, you have my always limited, but never quesioned support in the war on the masses

[flamingknives]

Are you still here?

Good grief.

You have lists do you Seanachai? I doubt that, as it would require the mental agility of an animal at least 2 steps up the evolutionary ladder than your pathetic form.

Possibly a gnat.

You're not getting a card from me, as I hate you too much and I'm not going to waste my money on sending one across the stretch of water that thankfully divides us. In short, I'm glad that we live on different continents. Knowing that I had to share a major landmass with you would be too much.

In language that you might understand and at great risk to my own sanity:

4) If you don't care for a thread, stay the hell out of it.

a) If a thread has been discussed before, so what? Maybe not everyone participating in it was here the first (or second or third) time round.

xxi) A thread doesn't have to hold merit in your eyes only to be worthwhile, you useless sack of organic fertiliser.

In short, stay in the thread named after MrPeng and stop polluting the more worthy areas of the board. If you were fit to be processed for gravel for MrPengs driveway, you would be one hundred times the being that you are now.

Sod off you lacklustre lackey.

[Andreas]

Blade II, eh? Not bad Basty, not bad. Tell, do you think we may manage to finish one of our PBEMs some point in the future?

[IronChef4]

Hi mom.

[Bastables]

Originally posted by Andreas:

Blade II, eh? Not bad Basty, not bad. Tell, do you think we may manage to finish one of our PBEMs some point in the future?

Hah foolieo I was in a world of pain due to my first Malaria relapse.

Our Game will have to be a new one in the CMBB where I can berate you on your role as BTS lackey in insuring CMBB does not resemble the greatest eastern front movie ever, Blade II. You fools merely had to emulate Blade II or even the emotionally saturated Blade I but you all botched it, imbeciles.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by flamingknives:

Are you still here?

Good grief.

You have lists do you Seanachai? I doubt that, as it would require the mental agility of an animal at least 2 steps up the evolutionary ladder than your pathetic form.

Possibly a gnat.

You're not getting a card from me, as I hate you too much and I'm not going to waste my money on sending one across the stretch of water that thankfully divides us. In short, I'm glad that we live on different continents. Knowing that I had to share a major landmass with you would be too much.

In language that you might understand and at great risk to my own sanity:

4) If you don't care for a thread, stay the hell out of it.

a) If a thread has been discussed before, so what? Maybe not everyone participating in it was here the first (or second or third) time round.

xxi) A thread doesn't have to hold merit in your eyes only to be worthwhile, you useless sack of organic fertiliser.

In short, stay in the thread named after MrPeng and stop polluting the more worthy areas of the board. If you were fit to be processed for gravel for MrPengs driveway, you would be one hundred times the being that you are now.

Sod off you lacklustre lackey.

That...was simply lovely.

That was a bit of the right stuff, quite unvarnished, and without any little dangly bits to interfere with the serious hatred.

flamingknives, my most esteemed and hated enemy: Please reconsider. Please reconsider your decision not to send me a hate filled missive via regular mail.

I will settle down tonight, and stare at the ceiling for a long, long time, and think over every point you've made.

And I will decide you were right, of course (I almost always do, in these sorts of cases).

And I will wonder if how right you are, balanced against what a bastard I am, is enough to keep me from losing immense amounts of sleep, leading to excessive stress, ulcers, and, possibly, further curtailments on my already spotty employment history.

I know that if I had an actual letter, or even just a postcard, stating what you've just said, that I would never go to bed without reading it over, and twisting the knife of your dislike into my flesh.

It's not, you see, simply some sort of sick 'masochism' thing.

Rather, it's a journey of self-discovery, community, and participation. A cup, however bitter, that I wish to drink to the dregs.

I know that I have offended you. I know that you hold me at nought. Head bowed, I accept your judgement (mostly because, from what I've seen, you're not an empty-headed arsehole like so many others who hate me; of course, that's simple hubris, too).

So grant an aging enemy this last wish. Send me a postcard. Move your digital, and therefore, somehow, ephemeral hatred of me to the level of writ.

Your letter, card, or postcard shall, like the Magna Carta, stand as a statement that will, like the Mother Beautiful Thread, 'always be there'.

Your words, on paper, will be my legacy for the amusement of my nephews and nieces.

Can't you just see their faces, once I'm gone, asking their mother, my sister, 'who's this guy 'flamingknives', and why did he hate Uncle Seanachai so much?'

[ September 15, 2002, 09:24 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by boots:

Seanachai.......its true i havent sent a card..but the reason is "i love you"...its quite true, i've read your message to the universe and have found it unwanting in its brutal assesments and conclusions...well, except for the "cockroaches" living large at our atomic expense.....So, carry on you armored bishop of the realm, you have my always limited, but never quesioned support in the war on the masses

Your heart, lad (or lassie, as the case may be) is in the right place.

BUT YOUR HEAD HAS DAMN NEAR COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED UP AN ORIFICE NEVER INTENDED FOR REINSERTION, YOU NONG!

Let me just say, that your support means the world to me, but

YOUR FAILURE TO SEND ME A LETTER, CARD, OR POSTCARD TELLING ME WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE SODDING PILE OF ****E I AM, LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THAT YOU'VE NO MORE DISCERNMENT THAN A ROCK-STAR ON THE EVE OF ENTERING REHAB!

So, be yourself, believe in yourself, and care for yourself.

BUT IF YOU DON'T SEND ME A GODDAMN CARD TELLING ME HOW MUCH YOU HATE ME, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET MEDIEVAL ON YOUR ARSE, LADDIE!

JESUS WEPT! I ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO BE HATED AROUND HERE. SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IT TAKES TO HAVE THAT HATRED ACKNOWLEDGED!!

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Porkbrain:

Done.

Git.

My cat has nothing but admiration for your priceless prose.

He is only young of course.

Git

Cats. Discerning animals, cats. But you can't like them.

Oh, but they cook up nice.

Perhaps you'd care to send me a card from your putative 'cat'.

Before I track down the little sod and have him with curry over rice, of course.

Pillock.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

JESUS WEPT! I ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO BE HATED AROUND HERE. SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IT TAKES TO HAVE THAT HATRED ACKNOWLEDGED!!

A grant from the Chubb group.