Nippy Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 My Tiger II got the Quad Damage! It must be part of the "Something Awful" fake reviews. It must be, it just has to. Look at this...LOOK AT IT After Hitler decided to 'make Poland a little bit smaller' he started eyeing up Russia, and in August 1941, 3,000 tanks, three million troops and industrial quantities of sausage in sour cabbage sauce rolled across the border - Operation Barbarossa had begun. The Soviet tanks could go toe to toe with almost all the German armour (later in the war). However, it wasn't until the battle at Kursk in 1942 (Operation Citadel) that things started to go Russia's way. There are no upgrades or weapon selection: you take what you're given. Sure you can generate your own battle, but that requires a great deal of effor - I weep for my Generation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gpig Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Heh heh. Looks like the reviewer gave it some good marks here and there. It's not ALL bad. He is obviously drawn to a different type of game genre/experience, however. Combat Mission not being his cup-o-tea I imagine. He also stated that it's a 1 player only game. (See at the top, where it says #of players: 1.) Hmmmm, Gpig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxbat Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Originally posted by Nippy: There are no upgrades or weapon selection: you take what you're given.Aargh..gurgle...blub.. and what's worse he says "There is no campaign mode, where you take a band of raw recruits and turn them into veritable killing machines" I wouldn't mind a campaign, but it doesn't have to come straight out of Quake Sure you can generate your own battle, but that requires a great deal of effort - We already have 5-mouse-clicks-to-get-a-mission missions, but that's still too much effort we need a big red button saying 'QUICK MISSION' that would be effortless and understandable [ December 10, 2002, 08:07 PM: Message edited by: Foxbat ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nippy Posted December 11, 2002 Author Share Posted December 11, 2002 I guess the reason I'm in a snit is that Mr. "Kursk in 42'" Reviewer reminds of the guy working at the local deli who said on Veterans day: "Oh yeah, it's Vietnam day today. Isn't it?" Edit: I got it! What CM needs is a "L33t b0yZ" mod to make the game easying for Generation-X to Understand. The labels on the command menu will need the most work: Hide = cAMp Shoot and Scoot = BUnny H0p & c1rcl3 5trAf3 88mm AT Gun Description = 1t5 l1k3 th3 ra1L guN!!!11!!! [ December 10, 2002, 08:32 PM: Message edited by: Nippy ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Manuel Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 "The game has certainly had a serious make-over graphically and sound effects are much improved. But the game is still essentially Combat Mission 1, albeit much prettier. To us, a sequel should be radically improved from its predecessor (just look at the difference between Panzer General II and Panzer General 3D). Combat Mission 2 still has many of the same problems that dogged Combat Mission 1 - installer from hell, slow AI and so on." OMG! "Why don't you try writing a better wargame!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 the guy is an idiot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snarker Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 You spelled "idjit" wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellros Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 40 minutes to install? What's he using? a P233? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laxx Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Whadmean August 1941 ?! What happened on august 1941 ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrapin Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 This same review shows up in two different sources: Computer & Video Games and DiscWorld. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 I have never read a review that made me less sure of humanity's ability to finish out the decade, let alone the next millenium. Obviously this 'Reviewer' is capable of using a computer, and even finding employment (or at least the right to display their almost inspired lack of intelligence under the auspices of an organization), but it's equally clear that they're both incapable, and unashamed of their inability, to actually come to grips with something that requires more intelligent focus and mental participation than an arcade game. On this planet thousands are daily made homeless, crippled, and even killed in pointless and heart-rending incidents of poltical, ethnic and religious conflict. If any such incident had managed to whack this reviewer, we'd have to consider it worth the anguish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: On this planet thousands are daily made homeless, crippled, and even killed in pointless and heart-rending incidents of poltical, ethnic and religious conflict. If any such incident had managed to whack this reviewer, we'd have to consider it worth the anguish.Or: Where's Darwin when you really need him? Michael [ December 11, 2002, 02:27 AM: Message edited by: Michael emrys ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ales Dvorak Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 There are no upgrades or weapon selection: you take what you're given. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goose Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Funny thing: At GameRankings, there is a reviewer from Mad Gamers who give an even lower score (65%) to CMBB. But reading his review it sounds like the guy actually understood and LIKED the game?! His only real gripe was with the graphics as far as I coul tell. I think perhaps he estimated the average gamer at about 40% of his own intellectual capacity, and then rated the game according to that? Judging from the "Computer & Video Games" review, 40% could be a bit high, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mies Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 I'm suprised he doesn't tells the world about the last big battle for Berlin in 1947, the a-bomb that went of in Norway in late 1944 and the Soviets defeating the German army in Switserland. Mies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pascal DI FOLCO Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Originally posted by Ellros: 40 minutes to install? What's he using? a P233?Undoubtly rather a P 3333+ :eek: , as the guy surely has a machine from Hell to play his FPS, BUT he used CDV version ... The sloooooow install has been reported. With US version on a P500 machine it took me some 8 minutes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WineCape Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: I have never read a review ... snip ...If any such incident had managed to whack this reviewer, we'd have to consider it worth the anguish.This is worthy, and may I add, the very first time, that I will add these "beautiful words" to my signature line. But then, it is so long-winded already, to wit: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- </font> Sponsor of the (now infamous) Invitational (Ari Maenpaa)</font> Sponsor of the 2 WineCape Tourneys (Fangorn’s Brazilian customs drank the wine prize up! + KiwiJoe)</font> Sponsor of the Nordic Championships in honor of Nabla (His scoring system revolutionized CM tourney play)</font> RoW I/II/III/~ tourney sponsor (Wreck/Championship pending/….~)</font> Grateful donateur to the drinking habits of BTS (Baldy received the Fat Bastard Chardonnay!)</font> ”Thank You” donation send to Manx (He used to run the “sexiest CMBO modsite on the net”)</font> Donation send to Team Boots & Tracks for their splendid RoW scenarios</font> Donation send to Gordon Molek for his outstanding CMMOS utility (Thereby making the installing of CM mods a breeze) </font> Sponsor-to-be of Pengville’s “Gamey Bastard” tourney (In honor of Seanachai + Lars for showing an act of kindness to an outerboarder - Well, bribery does pay.) </font>I have never read a review that made me less sure of humanity's ability to finish out the decade, let alone the next millenium. Obviously this 'Reviewer' is capable of using a computer, and even finding employment (or at least the right to display their almost inspired lack of intelligence under the auspices of an organization), but it's equally clear that they're both incapable, and unashamed of their inability, to actually come to grips with something that requires more intelligent focus and mental participation than an arcade game. On this planet thousands are daily made homeless, crippled, and even killed in pointless and heart-rending incidents of poltical, ethnic and religious conflict. If any such incident had managed to whack this reviewer, we'd have to consider it worth the anguish –Seanachai, CMBB Forum, 10/12/2002. Any more of these worthy scribes before I pack your can of Lysol Blue (apparently Lysol Gold just tastes to awful according to Lars) with Lars' wine consignment? [ December 11, 2002, 06:21 AM: Message edited by: WineCape ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dschugaschwili Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Originally posted by Ellros: 40 minutes to install? What's he using? a P233?Well, it also took 40 minutes on my Duron 700, but my computer has a serious I/O problem that I can't really seem to sort out. That's certainly the cause for me. Dschugaschwili Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flamingknives Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Wait a minute.... ...To us... There's more than one of them! Nooooooooo! More translations: Conscript = N00bie Green = 5uXor5 Elite = l33t Steilgranate = Quad Damage M17 MGMC = Chaingun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwolf Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 I am unable to read this gizo stuff. Can anybody help me? What do I make out of these "3"s and stuff? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vergeltungswaffe Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Originally posted by redwolf: I am unable to read this gizo stuff. Can anybody help me? What do I make out of these "3"s and stuff?This abomination is known as "leet-speak" or l33t-5p34l< as it is commonly typed. It is used with disturbing regularity by people, typically teenagers, who are too stupid/lazy to use capitalization, punctuation, and grammar. Very common in FPS games. A sad statement for the future of these morons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaylord Focker Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 I'm thinking about making a scenario where the Italians defend Berlin circa late 1942 after the Soviets turn the tide against the Finns at the battle of kursk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeyD Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Reminds me of the line from that old Woody Allen movie (Stardust Memories?): "Oh my God, the Japanese just attacked Pearl Harbor!" "Who's Pearl Harbor?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MickeeMao Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Why doesn't everyone head on over to the site and make their opinions known? There's a 'comments' section at the bottom of the article . . . or maybe we should just sick MasterGoodale on em. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilhammer Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Where was the editor on this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts