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Special Upgrade 4 Tech Tips

Oh boy...

Nippy

By Nippy
in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

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Nippy Senior Member

Nippy

Posted
Posted

My Tiger II got the Quad Damage!

It must be part of the "Something Awful" fake reviews. It must be, it just has to. Look at this...LOOK AT IT

After Hitler decided to 'make Poland a little bit smaller' he started eyeing up Russia, and in August 1941, 3,000 tanks, three million troops and industrial quantities of sausage in sour cabbage sauce rolled across the border - Operation Barbarossa had begun.

The Soviet tanks could go toe to toe with almost all the German armour (later in the war). However, it wasn't until the battle at Kursk in 1942 (Operation Citadel) that things started to go Russia's way.

There are no upgrades or weapon selection: you take what you're given.

Sure you can generate your own battle, but that requires a great deal of effor -

I weep for my Generation...

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Gpig Senior Member

Gpig

Posted
Posted

Heh heh.

Looks like the reviewer gave it some good marks here and there. It's not ALL bad.

He is obviously drawn to a different type of game genre/experience, however. Combat Mission not being his cup-o-tea I imagine.

He also stated that it's a 1 player only game. (See at the top, where it says #of players: 1.)

Hmmmm,

smile.gif

Gpig

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Foxbat Senior Member

Foxbat

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Nippy:

There are no upgrades or weapon selection: you take what you're given.

Aargh..gurgle...blub.. and what's worse he says "There is no campaign mode, where you take a band of raw recruits and turn them into veritable killing machines" I wouldn't mind a campaign, but it doesn't have to come straight out of Quake smile.gif

Sure you can generate your own battle, but that requires a great deal of effort -
We already have 5-mouse-clicks-to-get-a-mission missions, but that's still too much effort we need a big red button saying 'QUICK MISSION' that would be effortless and understandable :D

[ December 10, 2002, 08:07 PM: Message edited by: Foxbat ]

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Nippy Senior Member

Nippy

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I guess the reason I'm in a snit is that Mr. "Kursk in 42'" Reviewer reminds of the guy working at the local deli who said on Veterans day:

"Oh yeah, it's Vietnam day today. Isn't it?"

Edit: I got it! What CM needs is a "L33t b0yZ" mod to make the game easying for Generation-X to Understand. The labels on the command menu will need the most work:

Hide = cAMp

Shoot and Scoot = BUnny H0p & c1rcl3 5trAf3

88mm AT Gun Description = 1t5 l1k3 th3 ra1L guN!!!11!!!

[ December 10, 2002, 08:32 PM: Message edited by: Nippy ]

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Silvio Manuel Senior Member

Silvio Manuel

Posted
Posted

"The game has certainly had a serious make-over graphically and sound effects are much improved. But the game is still essentially Combat Mission 1, albeit much prettier. To us, a sequel should be radically improved from its predecessor (just look at the difference between Panzer General II and Panzer General 3D). Combat Mission 2 still has many of the same problems that dogged Combat Mission 1 - installer from hell, slow AI and so on."

OMG! "Why don't you try writing a better wargame!"

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Seanachai Senior Member

Seanachai

Posted
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I have never read a review that made me less sure of humanity's ability to finish out the decade, let alone the next millenium.

Obviously this 'Reviewer' is capable of using a computer, and even finding employment (or at least the right to display their almost inspired lack of intelligence under the auspices of an organization), but it's equally clear that they're both incapable, and unashamed of their inability, to actually come to grips with something that requires more intelligent focus and mental participation than an arcade game.

On this planet thousands are daily made homeless, crippled, and even killed in pointless and heart-rending incidents of poltical, ethnic and religious conflict. If any such incident had managed to whack this reviewer, we'd have to consider it worth the anguish.

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Michael Emrys Senior Member

Michael Emrys

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Seanachai:

On this planet thousands are daily made homeless, crippled, and even killed in pointless and heart-rending incidents of poltical, ethnic and religious conflict. If any such incident had managed to whack this reviewer, we'd have to consider it worth the anguish.

Or: Where's Darwin when you really need him?

Michael

[ December 11, 2002, 02:27 AM: Message edited by: Michael emrys ]

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Goose Junior Member

Goose

Posted
Posted

Funny thing: At GameRankings, there is a reviewer from Mad Gamers who give an even lower score (65%) to CMBB. But reading his review it sounds like the guy actually understood and LIKED the game?! His only real gripe was with the graphics as far as I coul tell.

I think perhaps he estimated the average gamer at about 40% of his own intellectual capacity, and then rated the game according to that? Judging from the "Computer & Video Games" review, 40% could be a bit high, though.

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WineCape Senior Member

WineCape

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Seanachai:

I have never read a review ... snip ...If any such incident had managed to whack this reviewer, we'd have to consider it worth the anguish.

This is worthy, and may I add, the very first time, that I will add these "beautiful words" to my signature line. But then, it is so long-winded already, to wit:

header_Winelands02.gif

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

</font>

I have never read a review that made me less sure of humanity's ability to finish out the decade, let alone the next millenium.

Obviously this 'Reviewer' is capable of using a computer, and even finding employment (or at least the right to display their almost inspired lack of intelligence under the auspices of an organization), but it's equally clear that they're both incapable, and unashamed of their inability, to actually come to grips with something that requires more intelligent focus and mental participation than an arcade game.

On this planet thousands are daily made homeless, crippled, and even killed in pointless and heart-rending incidents of poltical, ethnic and religious conflict. If any such incident had managed to whack this reviewer, we'd have to consider it worth the anguish –Seanachai, CMBB Forum, 10/12/2002.

Any more of these worthy scribes before I pack your can of Lysol Blue (apparently Lysol Gold just tastes to awful according to Lars) with Lars' wine consignment?

[ December 11, 2002, 06:21 AM: Message edited by: WineCape ]

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Vergeltungswaffe Senior Member

Vergeltungswaffe

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by redwolf:

I am unable to read this gizo stuff. Can anybody help me? What do I make out of these "3"s and stuff?

This abomination is known as "leet-speak" or l33t-5p34l< as it is commonly typed. It is used with disturbing regularity by people, typically teenagers, who are too stupid/lazy to use capitalization, punctuation, and grammar. Very common in FPS games.

A sad statement for the future of these morons.

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