I Have Been to the Mountaintop, and Found the Peng Challenge, And Some Old Beer Cans

[Joe Shaw]

Turns are now OUT ... well most of them that is. I still owe Moriarty but since he's said not one nice thing about me lately (or actually forever) I'm going to refuse to send his turn. I realize that this IS the CessPool and we never say nice things about each other but I think he owes me.

MrSpkr and Marlow both sent new turns that I haven't gotten around to ignoring yet.

AussieJeff ... {sigh} ... a pity really, he did try so hard to create that operation of his. But ... Saturn's just not in the right phase for me to undertake an operation right now, and don't get me started on Mars. Perhaps something smaller lad?

All this poolboy talk ... I tried to warn you but NOOOOooooo, you didn't have to listen to the Justicar, what does HE know, what harm can one little poolboy cause? Told you so.

Joe

[dalem]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I realize that this IS the CessPool and we never say nice things about each other but I think he owes me.

I'll say something nice about you, Joe. I think it's really nice that you live far away and my chances of randomly bumping into you in public are essentially nil.

Was that the kind of thing you were looking for?

[ August 19, 2002, 12:40 AM: Message edited by: dalem ]

[Roxy]

Mike,

You underestimate the power of a woman. Consider Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Brittney Spears, Michael Jackson, and Roxy to name but a very few.

Grog Dorosh,

I'm going to push hard for you to get the death sentence in a 13th "Peng Thread".

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Mai Tai's, tea, shopping, GOWNS fr cryin' out loud!

What's the Pool coming to?

At the first mention of doilies, I'm going to get positively medieval on someone.

Doilies.

Doiles.

<big>Doiles. Doiles. Doiles.</big>

Papa

P.S.

Now where did I leave that popcorn?

[Michael Dorosh]

Originally posted by Roxy:

Mike,

You underestimate the power of a woman. Consider Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Brittney Spears, Michael Jackson, and Roxy to name but a very few.

Grog Dorosh,

I'm going to push hard for you to get the death sentence in a 13th "Peng Thread".

Those are all white women, though - how positively RACIST of you!

I still owe you a turn, don't I.

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Roxy:

Mike,

You underestimate the power of a woman. Consider Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Brittney Spears, Michael Jackson, and Roxy to name but a very few.

Grog Dorosh,

I'm going to push hard for you to get the death sentence in a 13th "Peng Thread".

Those are all white women, though - how positively RACIST of you!

I still owe you a turn, don't I.</font>

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Roxy:

Mike,

You underestimate the power of a woman. Consider Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Brittney Spears, Michael Jackson, and Roxy to name but a very few.

The first one Died-a-lot<SUP>tm</SUP>

The second one Died-a-lot<SUP>tm</SUP> too.

The third one makes sophisticated, sensitive, aural devices Die-a-lot<SUP>tm</SUP>

The fourth one makes lots of people wish he/she would Die-a-lot<SUP>tm</SUP>

The last one makes Grog Dorosh Die-a-lot<SUP>tm</SUP>.

So, where's the connection??

Sir AussieJeff

[imported_Wildman]

Game Updates:

Mr. Spkr. while listening to Ride of the Valkyrie is moving an entire company of Panthers and other kitties across the open field in Lawyers abortion of a "what if" scenario. As the Amis all I have are two MPs who are now busy with the farmers daughter.

Marlow is playing the same scenario only one turn behind the Spkr. He knows and doesn't care. That is because he uses the Panzer O'Doom. Cracked code indeed!

Joe Shaw apperently has seen fit to send a turn. Yipppeee! I'm looking forward to blowing up the rest of the town he's hiding in.

His Scaliness, GoAnna and I are in the second battle of an operation. He's finally fighting back and its annoying me. Cheatin' trapped halftrack, no retreatin' setup bastard!

LeeO and I just finished with a draw. I left him with one MG team, one scared half of a flamethrower team, an FO out of ammo and he still gets a draw! I don't know what pictures he has of Steve, but they must be good.

The UberGnome is advancing his Canuck hordes forward, curling brushes at the ready. I'm looking forward to killing him, if only for the fact that its August and winter is already here! Feel the Hate!

Now for a bit of a song:

I am the very model of a modern Major-General,

I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical

From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,

About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;

I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,

I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,

In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,

I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes!

Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform, And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",

When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,

When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,

And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,

When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery--

In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,

You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,

Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;

But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General!

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<BIG>Honka HONKA!!</BIG>

AJ's GAMEY UPDATES XII

Yes Volks. It's time for another mind numbing "battle de rigeur" from that beguiling, handsome and cunningly humble Master of CM - yours truly.

Boo_Radley WIA: His hapless Huns are wuthering under the hail of big splodeys splattering their collective numbskulls. Unfortunately my Green Tree Lurvin' Merkins are running/facing the wrong way and thus are unable to enjoy the carnage. I predict a massive DRAW is on the cards here.

Croda MIA: Apparently kidnapped by the enemy.

Elvis MIA: Apparently pondering his first move after being bound and gagged by family members.

OGSF WIA: His hapless Huns are wuthering under the hail of big splodeys splattering their collective numbskulls. Deja vu Pt#1. Fortunately my Green Tree Lurvin' Brit/Merkins are running/facing the right way and thus are able to enjoy the utter carnage. I predict a massive and protracted VICTORY is imminent! 'Specially since my lil' green Luv Puppy ran round behind an' bit his mean ol' Putty Tat on the bum!! hehe.

Joe Shaw MIA: Apparently pondering HIS first turn of a massive 500pt PC-Pick shindig.

Noba Part Une WIA: For some strange reason, I have taken a liking to dropping BIG SPLODEY thingies on me opponents 'eads. All or Nothing is no exception. Pity about the wet ground. I should be able to advance 30metres in the next 40 turns.

Noba Part Deux N/A: Uncategorised due to the fact the gamey bastiche is probably *sob* winning. And I was so FAIR letting him playtest my Fields of Chaos Quick Op too. Hmmm... mebbe I'll just tinker with the next file he sends...... hehe

MrSpkr WIA: His hapless Huns are wuthering under the hail of big splodeys splattering their collective numbskulls. Eh? Deja vu Pt#2. I know he's a-hurtin' up on that thar' hill coz' he is complaining 'bout the 10 Shermies I've got parked on opposite hill pounding the behell outta all his heavy buildings.

Leeo MIA: Still pondering his first turn from 1 month ago.

Lars N/A: Uncategorised coz' Lars is such a gamey bastiche he may pull something off in our crazy Hun Conscripts (me) V Allies Elite (him) mismatch QB. Fortunately my brave and ahistorically correct flamie horde acted as in real life and torched most of the wooded approaches. Unfortunately, the idjit who created this fiasco forgot to set ground conditions to DRY, thus negating their ultimate effectiveness. FEH!!

Simon Elwin WIA: His hapless Huns are wuthering under the hail of big splodeys splattering their collective numbskulls. Eh? Deja vu Pt#3. At least they are trying to learn Merkin by yelling out "Meep meep" as my jeeps race past, to be bravely blown to smithereens.

Stuka KIA: And last but not least - his hapless 112th Div Huns wuthered big-time under the hail of big splodeys splattering their collective numbskulls. Period. Deja vu Pt #4. A massive and totalitarian victory to the Free French!! Stick that in yer pipe MrSpkr. HA!! The French won, the French WON, THE FRENCHIES WON!!! Aka:

and Lo!! The FRENCH TRICOLOR flies PROUD!!!

Sigh... I'm a fantastic player I am, me.

AJ

Humble Kanigget, HoB

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Roxy:

Mike,

You underestimate the power of a woman. Consider Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Brittney Spears, Michael Jackson, and Roxy to name but a very few.

The first one Died-a-lot<SUP>tm</SUP>

The second one Died-a-lot<SUP>tm</SUP> too.

The third one makes sophisticated, sensitive, aural devices Die-a-lot<SUP>tm</SUP>

The fourth one makes lots of people wish he/she would Die-a-lot<SUP>tm</SUP>

The last one makes Grog Dorosh Die-a-lot<SUP>tm</SUP>.

So, where's the connection??

Sir AussieJeff</font>

[Nestor]

Back in the day (Friday, if I remember right) I severely offended CampLayer, mistaking his innefectual spleen venting as that of a 12 year old with his first dictionary and a pocket-sized book of useful insults rather than the Knight of the pool he is. For this I offer unreserved apologies – as Seniamoment said earlier, this is a strange and confusing place for us SSN’s.

I note though that the fish-fancier Alkatheta didn’t turn up to defend CampLayer’s honour, as requested and was wondering whether this was a breach of pool ettiquette that requires punishment of some kind. Or is mercy being shown in recognition of the depression caused to Alkatheta by the Ramming his woeful Mariners took on Saturday?

Before he responds with a Tractor Boys running over Foxes comment, I’ll make it first.

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Imagine a scenario where the brave English are holding a fortress under siege by the filthy French swine and their bovine flinging catapults.

Mein got!! It is worse than I had expected. Boxy has devised her own foul version of airborne troops to use on my fine, beleagured german boys. And she has enlisted the assistance of the foul frenchies as well...

How low will she go in her attempt to win this battle? We shall not yield...

[ August 19, 2002, 08:57 AM: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

Doilies.

Doiles.

<big>Doiles. Doiles. Doiles.</big>

Papa

P.S.

Now where did I leave that popcorn?

Now see? You said the word over three times and it lost all meaning. Much like yourself.

I know, that doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Much like yourself.

Hey, this could be fun.

Unlike yourself.

[Hakko Ichiu]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Turns are now OUT ... well most of them that is. I still owe Moriarty but since he's said not one nice thing about me lately (or actually forever) I'm going to refuse to send his turn. I realize that this IS the CessPool and we never say nice things about each other but I think he owes me.

MrSpkr and Marlow both sent new turns that I haven't gotten around to ignoring yet.

AussieJeff ... {sigh} ... a pity really, he did try so hard to create that operation of his. But ... Saturn's just not in the right phase for me to undertake an operation right now, and don't get me started on Mars. Perhaps something smaller lad?

All this poolboy talk ... I tried to warn you but NOOOOooooo, you didn't have to listen to the Justicar, what does HE know, what harm can one little poolboy cause? Told you so.

Jo Xia, the 'Pool-boy is dead, and though you didn't order it, it certainly suits your justicarial purposes. So, one good turn deserves another. Send me my fecking turn (not that you could ever produce a good one).

In other news, Geier is rudely and gamily destroying things that belong to me. This must cease. Fortunately, we only have a few turns left, after which my brave Tommies can get back to making smores by the embers of the VLs.

Roxy, your proposition interests me strangely. Pray continue.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Roxy:

Mike,

Don't be so certain you've avoided poolboy duties. The Olde Ones may force us Ladies to accept you whether we like it or not. Remember, they like to kill poolboys. If they want you dead bad enough, you will be the poolboy.

Wisdom if I ever saw it.

Mike!

Poolboy!

Now!

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Nestor:

Back in the day (Friday, if I remember right) I severely offended CampLayer, mistaking his innefectual spleen venting as that of a 12 year old with his first dictionary and a pocket-sized book of useful insults rather than the Knight of the pool he is. For this I offer unreserved apologies – as Seniamoment said earlier, this is a strange and confusing place for us SSN’s.

I note though that the fish-fancier Alkatheta didn’t turn up to defend CampLayer’s honour, as requested and was wondering whether this was a breach of pool ettiquette that requires punishment of some kind. Or is mercy being shown in recognition of the depression caused to Alkatheta by the Ramming his woeful Mariners took on Saturday?

Before he responds with a Tractor Boys running over Foxes comment, I’ll make it first.

Hmmm, methinks your looking for a good hiding laddie, and I'm just the one to give you it!! Send me a setup you snivelling fox fondler else its off to Highfields for you and no mistake!

[dalem]

My back hurts.

I blame you all.

[Hakko Ichiu]

Originally posted by dalem:

My back hurts.

I blame you all.

Try acupuncture. A katana makes an excellent acupuncture needle, I'm told.

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by dalem:

My back hurts.

I blame you all.

Probably a symptom of sitting on your brains so much, old man. Shall we send you over a few Fonda videos?

Papa

[Papa Khann]

Boo-Boo, you forgot to add the "medieval" part.

Papa

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

All this poolboy talk ... I tried to warn you but NOOOOooooo, you didn't have to listen to the Justicar, what does HE know, what harm can one little poolboy cause? Told you so.

Joe, I miss the poolboy. *sigh*

Hey, can you make me a margarita?

Persephone

[Patchy]

Originally posted by dalem:

I'll say something nice about you, Joe. I think it's really nice that you live far away and my chances of randomly bumping into you in public are essentially nil.

Dalem, that was a very nice thing to say to Joe.

Persephone

[Patchy]

Originally posted by dalem:

My back hurts.

I blame you all.

Dalem, would you like one of the Ladies to send over the poolboy to give you a massage?

Persephone

[ August 19, 2002, 12:57 PM: Message edited by: Persephone ]

[dalem]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Dalem, would you like one of the Ladies to send over the poolboy to give you a massage?

Persephone

Is he qualified?

[Terence]

They say there are no tracks in the endless waste of the Cess.

No matter how violently you thrash about in rage, or how hard you stamp your little feet, the Cess endures. Moments after the tantrum is over, the Cess is still again.

The impotent can barely stir the surface, and the Old Ones themselves only produce a mild froth that quickly subsides.

Yet evidence of long depravity and continued presence is there for the clever to spot.

Which is why, if you know what to look for you can spot a small but noisome trail of garbage and scum stretching across the pool if you crouch low (down, Bauhaus!) and gaze through the fetid clouds.

No, not that way. Thats Boo, known to many as the Faex That Walks Like A Man.

Look the other way, peer closely and you can see a trail of empty Dorito packets, crumpled Preparation H tubes, and thick yellow slime.

Follow it far enough and you may find Rune, crouching on a small rocky outcrop, bellowing wordlessly into the darkness. His tiny arms flail at nothing as he battles an invisible army of used car salesmen and telemarketers, the cast of Gilligan's Island standing rank on rank behind him, chanting the word "ptarmigan" over and over again.

In a rare moment of near lucidity this very Rune has decreed that Buzzsaw must soundly thrash me in a PBEM game, and teach me to taunt people.

In a rare moment of agreeing with Rune, I think that this is an excellent idea, mostly because it takes such a pondorous effort of will on Rune's part to compose an English sentence. Its really painful to watch, and suffering through more than one or two short postings a week is really more than anyone should have to bear.

And besides, a battle with Rune would probably involve one of his turgid scenarios where 3 Panthers on one side are balanced by 3 Sherman 76s on the other, and equal lots of reinforcements arrive on the same turn on opposite sides of the map. How utterly dreary and wretched.

So Buzzsaw, bring it on. Savage my poor pixellated warriors. Your attentions most violent save me from far far worse a fate.