I Have Been to the Mountaintop, and Found the Peng Challenge, And Some Old Beer Cans

[Seanachai]

Welcome all, and by welcome, I hope you realize I mean 'sod off you depressing life failures'. This is, of course, the Peng Challenge Thread, the Mother Beautiful Thread, the 'Cesspool'. Your parents used it to try and frighten you into better behaviour.

As you rush forward, propelled by the pitiable desire to 'belong' somewhere, anywhere, let me remind you that you would be better off joining up with a carnival, or perhaps comitting some sort of minor crime and being incarcerated. We don't want you, and if we needed another load of lackwitted mouth-breathers, we'd simply start a 'I hate Slapdragon/Fionn/Dorosh/Target of Opportunity thread, and then step aside for the stampede.

You'd really be happier in one of those types of threads, wouldn't you? Of course you would. Why don't you run off to the General Forum and start one now!

Because the people we'd like to see posting in here, and the only ones who will be treated even remotely as though they are human, are those with some wit, with at least half a brain, and some sparkle to their posts.

Those who come in and do the usual 'my genitals, my feces, the same items belonging to everyone else, or impersonations of the Royal Family on PCP' will be brutalized, and, if that doesn't work, ignored, which most of them find even more intolerable. Seriously, the number of developmentally challenged masochists we get in here would fill up a season's worth of episodes of the Jerry Springer show.

Also, if you think you've come to some place where you can exercise your dull little prejudices, casual hates, and disdain for folks on the basis of race, orientation, gender, or religion, you will be gone so quick that parts of you will only catch up later, and they won't be in very good shape when you get them back. Most likely BFC will even help you off the Forum althogether.

Now, the idea, charming in it's simplicity, is to come in here, offer someone a manly and witty taunt (or a womanly and witty taunt, if you prefer, and we don't much care if you're one or the other, or even just conflicted), to ONE person, seeking by your raffish insults and bon mots to get someone to give you a game.

After you've been here for a while, you will even be allowed to amuse yourself, and better yet, the rest of us, by recounting stories, songs, and fanciful thoughts, as though you were Oscar Wilde himself (and we know that many, many of you are in fact closet 'Oscar Wildes').

Although there is a huge and complicated heirarchy of beings in here, most it will be beyond your tatty little grasp for some time to come. But in quick form, there are the Olde Ones, who wield immense power and are mocked and ignored by all, the Justicar, who is a combination of Herald and Enforcer, who will attempt to keep you from error, and boot you silly if you insist on being as stupid as we all know you are capable of being. And, finally, there are a whole lot of Seniour Knights, Knights, Squires, Serfs, Scum Sucking Newbies, lackeys, minions, and the occasional Jehovah's Witness wandering through.

Oh, and, finally, there are the Ladies of the 'Pool, they currently being Persephone, YK2, Kitty, and Roxy. Also Lorak's wife, but I've forgotten her screenname for the moment. She hasn't been by much lately. Ah! It's C'est Bon, I believe.

Your best policy with the Ladies is courteous silence, pulling the forelock, and sodding off. Step out of line with them, and you'll find that not only are we not amused, but that your time here is over.

Now, if you've actually read all that, you're probably too stupid to be here, but tenacious enough to try. I'd say good luck, but I wouldn't mean it, because I'm really rooting for you to fail and be majorly humiliated in the process. So, 'good luck'!

[ August 17, 2002, 09:53 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Mace]

I hope some of those beer cans are full.

Mace

[Stuka]

Thanks for the sheckels guys... NOT!

Half a dinari is not enough for this road weary old kannnnnniggit to drown his sorrows.

Like any of you care (OK OGSF I know YOU care, but thats different) but its the Sabbath today and I'm frigg'in working!

Bah!

Come to think of it I was here yesterday too and the whole monday-friday thing before that as well.

Oh, and whats in store for me tomorrow I hear you ask, gentle reader.

A steenking Berli of a monday thats what!

Feh! and Poot!

Lucky for me I'm young, handsome, wealthy and have an even younger and prettier trophy wife to mop my sweaty brow after a hard days yakka.

Alls well that ends well, eh?

W00T!

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Buzzsaw:

Marlow, my soon to be brother, I shall send you a setup. Let me know if you have any preferences for parameters. Perhaps you can even tell me the secret handshake. I have begun to suspect that it is not really a handshake, but a *boot*.

Well, Buzzy, I shall welcome you to House Ruin with open arms and steel toed boot. You will be as much a brother to me as Able was to Cain. As for the instrument of your pain (i.e. the parameters), I’ll let you decide so long as it is not too outlandish (though I prefer scenarios to QBs).

[Seanachai]

Stuka, lad! Appalled and sickened to see you're back, where've you been? How's the wife? Still as lovely and more than you deserve as ever?

Really looking forward to 'crushing' you on the Eastern Front next month!

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[Noba]

Dear Boo , I have updated the sig as you suggested. It was an original cut and paste from the first...therefore you have changed it since.

So stick it.

Mind you, I think that the Lawyers should have more prominence.

On another note, where is Fowl Joe ? He flits in and out of posting, ignoring all cries of "send a feckin' turn" and has the verbal dribbles problem so prevalent in a man with multiple personalities.

So JoeBlo, send a turn !

Noba.

Edited to note that Elvis is a waste of bandwidth.

[ August 18, 2002, 12:00 AM: Message edited by: Noba ]

[BFCElvis]

Dear Knoba,

Bite me.

Love,

Elvis

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Elvis:

Dear Knoba,

Bite me.

Love,

Elvis

Dear Evils,

Bite yer bum.

Then send a feckin' turn.

Pillock.

Love,

AJ

[Patchy]

What's a poor fluffy little r...err...ewe to do?

Persephone

[ August 18, 2002, 02:59 AM: Message edited by: Persephone ]

[Noba]

Posted by the Waste - of - Bandwidth:

Dear Knoba,

Bite me.

Love,

Elvis

Elvis, I think that you are such a waste that your presence here is pathetic. Your obligatory, one-post-per-thread is one too many. Your talent for nothingness is paramount amongst all that dwell here. Even the SSN's have more 'appeal' than you. You add nothing to the planet, let alone this 'pool. You Sir, should be gone. Always.

Noba.

[Noba]

Persephone ?

Whose wheat mod is that ?

Noba.

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Mace:

I hope some of those beer cans are full.

I peed in one a couple minutes ago if that helps.

The Boston Strangler

[Yeknodathon]

Just spotted Roxy withdrawing from a department store looking rather dapper before several plains-clothes people and uniformed security personnel tumbled out into street looking for something.

I will tell you.

The Cadillac she sat in, like a burnish'd throne,

Burn'd on the tarmac. The dash was beaten gold;

Purple the seats, and so perfumed that

The winds were love-sick with them; the wheels were silver,

Which to the tune of Pearl Jam screeched fast, and made

The tarmac which they beat to follow faster,

As amorous of their grip. For her own person,

It beggar'd all description. She did lie

In her open-top, roof-of-gold, of tissue,

O'erpicturing that Venus where we see

The fancy out-work nature. On each side her

Stood pretty dimpled Quires, like smiling Cupids,

With divers-colour'd fans, whose wind did seem

To glow the delicate cheeks which they did cool,

And what they undid did.

Yeknod (with a little help from Enobarbus)

[Noba]

So, Yeknod. Who is this "Subrabone" ?

Noba.

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Noba:

So, Yeknod. Who is this "Subrabone" ?

Noba.

Well, Nobbit, it could have been a Subaru but I don't think they do fins.

Yeknod

[Stuka]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Really looking forward to 'crushing' you on the Eastern Front next month!

No need to get anxious old chap.

My Barbarossa cherry is betrothed to your goodself and there can be no other.

Of course there is still the matter of the dowry for my services but we can discuss that on the night.

(A $50 on the side-table should do the trick.)

[Patchy]

Chrisl...the sweet trans-physicist from Transylvania.

Persephone

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Chrisl...the sweet trans-physicist from Transylvania.

Persephone

*honk* heeeeeyooooore, eeeeeeeyyyyyyoooooooore

It's just a jump to the left.

And then a step to the right.

With your hands on your hips.

You bring your knees in tight.

But it's the pelvic thrust

That really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.

Let's do the time-warp again.

QUIRE. I SAID QUIRE - *boot* get yer *boot* photo off to Persephone.

*boot*

*boot*

*boot*

Yeknod

[chrisl]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Chrisl...the sweet trans-physicist from Transylvania.

Persephone

I think I actually look better in fishnets than stockings and garters...

But this reminds me that I have to point out to Mace that no matter how much his morals decay in the presence of sheep, there is still no evidence that protons decay. If you poke around a bit you'll see all the proton decay experiments have been more or less converted to neutrino observatories. They all saw Supernova 1987A very clearly, and they've all been doing neutrino oscillation experiments(that's oscillation not osculation so get your collective minds out of the gutter).

[dalem]

Originally posted by chrisl:

I think I actually look better in fishnets than stockings and garters...

But this reminds me that I have to point out to Mace that no matter how much his morals decay in the presence of sheep, there is still no evidence that protons decay. If you poke around a bit you'll see all the proton decay experiments have been more or less converted to neutrino observatories. They all saw Supernova 1987A very clearly, and they've all been doing neutrino oscillation experiments(that's oscillation not osculation so get your collective minds out of the gutter).

Won't they still pick up emissions from proton decay as well though? How does one really "fine tune" a gold mine full of cleaning fluid?

-dale

[Mace]

Originally posted by chrisl:

there is still no evidence that protons decay. If you poke around a bit you'll see all the proton decay experiments have been more or less converted to neutrino observatories.

Yeh, I'd give up too if I had to stick around for 10^33 years waiting to see proton decay.

btw, I can't recall any of my physics lecturers dressing like that in my final year at Uni. The field has obviously changed a lot since then.

hmmm..somehow I now find myself wondering what choice of frock Steven Hawkin wears.

Mace

[ August 18, 2002, 03:52 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Mace]

whoops, double post. Me bad.

[ August 18, 2002, 03:51 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Mace:

Yeh, I'd give up too if I had to stick around for 10^33 years waiting to see proton decay.

Mace

I require an explanation from a physicist or Mace to explain the quantum mechanics for this Proton. It isn't natural.

Yeknod

[ August 18, 2002, 04:08 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Mace]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

I require an explanation from a physicist or Mace to explain the quantum mechanics for this Proton. It isn't natural.

Another car requiring a sound thrashing?

Looks like an act of Basil Fawlty to me.

[bolded in respect of the master]

Mace