Roxy

Hi Persephone! Actually my real name is Roxy, but I also go by Treeburst155, Mike, and Norman Rockwell. I guess Norman Bates would be a nice name to add; but I was thinking of going with Stephanie next. I don't want to be thought of as someone who discriminates against women. Stephanie out.

Morality Play? That was just an honest description of the most memorable part of my afternoon. Hey, Roxy can be rough, and I don't blame her. How would you like it if somebody cancelled your BFC account? Serf Treeburst155 out. [ August 23, 2002, 03:32 AM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Oh, I don't think so. It's something a guy very secure in his manhood might find amusing. Besides, it gets people riled up around here. There's something fundamentally right about that. Serf Treeburst155 out.

Serf Treeburst155 is at peace with the world as he sits in his command center, an ice cold Sam Adams in hand, with all PBEMS caught up. He is especially happy because he knows most of the poor slobs on The MBT are at work right now. Poor sods, he thinks to himself. Ah well, it's their own fault for not finding a gal like Roxy to support them. Let's look in on Treeburst155's afternoon, shall we? As boring as it will be for you, it's certainly more interesting than your afternoon at work. After all, how interesting can flipping burgers be? Treeburst: Hehe...this new sub-woofer oughta make that Moriarty rocket barrage sound real good. With Roxy gone I can really crank this baby up, too. Geez, that Moriarty is a gamey bastiche, ain't he? Now where's that file...ah yes, here we go... For sixty seconds Treeburst thrills to the sights and sounds of "The Barrage". The walls shake. He cackles with glee. His beer falls over. He does not care. He's in the promised land! Treeburst: Holy shi&te that was good! I think next time I'll count how many screams I hear. Gotta love that Scipio sound mod...great stuff it is. I can really FEEL the agony...hehe. Let's see if there's anything new on The MBT. Maybe Joe Shaw's plane crashed on the way to Minneapolis. Better yet, maybe Muck has been sent to Coventry. Ooops, looks like I need to grab another beer first. Bursting through the front door, earlier than expected, comes Roxy. This without opening the screen door first, which now hangs askew on one hinge, a gaping hole in the screen. Her bonny cheeks are flushed red with anger. With clenched jaw, and hands on hips she starts in on poor Treeburst, the object of her wrath.... Roxy: Why you....you....MEANY!! How dare you have my BFC account cancelled!! You want YOUR ban lifted, so you get MY account cancelled!! Do you have any idea how much Sherriff Joe will miss me?! DO YOU?!! Don't just stand there like a dumbass, ANSWER ME! Treeburst: But Roxy, honey, you're not real! Everyone knows that now, even Joe Shaw. Only Grog Dorosh still thinks you're real. Roxy: Why you....you....MEANY!! How's this for "REAL", huh ?! Hurls lamp at Treeburst, missing his head by inches. Was that real enough for you?! How about all the times I've crushed you on the CM battlefield?! Were those not REAL defeats for you?! I should never have taught you how to play CM. You don't deserve it, you ungrateful, account cancelling MEANY! I'm so disgusted with you I may poison your supper tonight. Now you get on that 'puter and make sure Madmatt doesn't close my account! Do it right now! After that, get out in the heat and mow that back lawn like I asked you to this morning. I said "NOW" you....you....MEANY! Treeburst sulks to his command center, all fond memories of "The Barrage" forgotten. He never did get that second beer. Treeburst: Holy crapola! I've never seen her so pissed before....and she hasn't even seen the spilled beer yet. It's gonna be a rough night. If only I could send her to Coventry. Yeah, Coventry, that's the ticket. Treeburst155 out. [ August 22, 2002, 05:15 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

It's time for some game updates from Serf Treeburst155. I know you don't care; but read it anyway before you Sod Off. Grog Dorosh: He MIGHT hold on to a small VL located deep in the woods. He's starting to send turns at a much faster rate too. He wouldn't give me the time of day when he was playing Roxy. Herr Oberst: I have taken over this game from Roxy. I have no idea what she was thinking with this attack. Her planning and tactics appear to have been inspired by a jaunt through Wal-Mart with an oversized handbag. I'm really counting on Herr Oberst's incompetence here. I feel certain he won't disappoint. Mr Spkr: This is another one I inherited from Roxy. This one doesn't look too bad, probably because Mr Spkr couldn't fend off an attack from Peter Pan and Tinkerbell. My French infantry are riding out an 81mm arty strike in nice open ground. He's wasting ammo. Moriarty: He's trying to take a large town in the center of a map he created. He just might do it. Why? HE SPENT 1,800 POINTS ON 300MM ROCKETS!!! I asked him to be sure and buy some arty because I like to watch splodey things in my games. That's all I said. It was just a simple little request. HE SPENT 1,800 POINTS ON 300MM ROCKETS!!! Oh, sorry. I said that already. His rocket attack, and a Mutha Beautiful one it was(I replay the movie daily), incapacitated and decapitated fully 25% of my infantry IN HEAVY BUILDINGS!! What it did to my eight Pershings I can't say in the interest of preserving and enhancing the already abundant FOMB (Fog Of Moriarty's Brain). Moving on to real life.... Roxy sends her love to all her Heroes, and asked me to say that she misses you all terribly, especially Sherriff Joe. Please take this opportunity to ponder your worthless existence, your utter failure as human beings, and the desolation of your souls. Meditate on these issues for a short time. This will make it much easier for you to understand why I'm more than pleased to tell you to SOD OFF NOW!! Serf Treeburst155 out. [ August 22, 2002, 02:56 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Man, can I ever relate to that one, Dalem. Fortunately for me, the nasty neighbor lives across the street. I don't actually have to share a property line with him. His very first words to me after I moved in were, "Hey, if you dump those leaves in the brush (next to MY lot), I'll call the police!" I absolutely kid you not. Treeburst155 out.

Do I hafta? Pillock. Treeburst155 out. [ August 21, 2002, 05:07 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Thank you, Justicar Joe, for the clarification on bolding and spelling of names. As much as it pains me to admit it, I LIKE your "personal rules" personally, and will put them into effect myself. Do not perceive this as any sort of recognition of your authority as The Carrot. I just happen to agree with you. It will probably be the last time, too, since you're Sodding Off Now!! As to any question of androgyny, all that remains of Roxy(Bolded because she was a true Lady), is her epitaph and her account (due to technical reasons). You're dealing with Treeburst155 here you feeble minded lackwit lump of lard. SOOOooooooo, with that clarification, we're both now clearly clarified. Is that clear? Now....SOD OFF AGAIN!!! Serf Treeburst155 out. [ August 21, 2002, 03:58 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Lady Persephone, Please accept this gift of song from the lowly Serf Treeburst155. I sincerely hope it brightens your day. I see trees of green...red roses too. I see them bloom...for me and you. And I think to myself, What A Wonderful World. I see skies of blue....and clouds of white...the bright blessed day...the dark sacred night. And I think to myself, What A Wonderful World. The colors of the rainbow....so pretty in the skies....are also on the faces....of people goin' by. I see friends shakin' hands, sayin "How do you do"....they're really sayin....I Love You. I hear babies cryin'...I watch them grow...they'll learn much more...than I'll ever know...and I think to myself, What A Wonderful World...Yeeeees, I think to myself, What A Wonderful World.....oh yeah "What A Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong [ August 21, 2002, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Why thank you, Cole Slaw. I assume this means you're looking forward to your rendezvous with Roxy in Minneapolis. Now to more important matters. What kind of Just-a-Carrot are you? I'm sure there is some crusty old rule or tradition that says a Serf of The Realm is entitled to have his name bolded. If NOTHING else, a Serf is entitled to that, is he not? Even persistent puke SSNs get their names bolded. You sir, are a foul and corrupt Carrot of a Kangaroo Kourt. You're not fit to preside over a kindergarten classroom of kiddies on crack killing kittens. Bold my name, sir; as I bold yours!! After you have done that you may SOD OFF!! Serf Treeburst155 out. [ August 21, 2002, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

AJ, No SCHWUBERRY for you I'm afraid. I'm savin' it fer me bonny lass, Roxy. Thanks fer pointin' me to it though. Now SOD OFF!! Serf Treeburst155

I don't know about them, but I was head over heels for the bonny lass. She was quite a gal. I got to know her rather well. I even prepared a defense for her, in hopes she could stay as a Lady In Waiting with all the privileges that come with the title. It was interesting that when Matt said I could only have one forum account I had to think a bit before I chose to go with Treeburst155. It was somewhat tempting to go with Roxy. Ah hell, I'm posting Roxy's defense below just for kicks. I never really finalized it, but it's fairly entertaining I think. It's worth posting. Maybe it will get Joe riled up. That would make it worth it. Treeburst155 out. ___________________________________________ Because Mr Spkr is tied up in San Antonio rebutting a plethora of prosecutorial prevarications on Roxy's behalf, the Opening Statement in The Pool vs Roxy will be presented by the fair Lady Roxy herself. In keeping with proper CessPool procedure, this opening statement will be presented immediately after closing arguments are heard. Please turn your attention now to the bonny lass, Roxie.... Hi, boys! My what a handsome jury.....and Sherriff Joe, you look so cute in that Mickey Mouse outfit. It's absolutely adorable! Ears beat hair anyday, eh Joey? Now then, my Heroes, where shall I begin. Oh,... Hi Athkatla, I didn't see you back there. Meet me for lunch, will you? We'll use your BMW for some quick "dine & dash". No sense paying the MEANIES if we don't have to, right? See you! Um, where was I? Ah yes...my opening remarks...er...closing statement...er...something like that anyway. Ahem...... R) The defense intends to show that I, Roxanne Marden, inspite of my male past, deserve to retain my title in The Cesspool as Lady In Waiting, complete with ALL the courtesies shown any Lady of the Pool. In support of our position, we will explore the following: 7) We intend to show that Roxy's presence in The Pool promotes, rather than diminishes, respect for Pool traditions and rules, and respect for the Ladies of the Pool. 2) We intend to show that Roxy adds to the entertainment value of The Pool, and can aid in the early detection and treatment of the "Troublesome SSN" syndrome. 5) We will further show that any supposed violation of Pool Rules was merely a misunderstanding on Roxy's part brought about by the lack of authoritative authority possessed by the authorized authorities. IOW, chaos reigns supreme, as it should. That is as much a Pool tradition as any other. __________________________________________________ At this time I would like to submit as evidence of all the above, Exhibit A, the full text of ALL Roxy's posts to The MBT. Gentleworms of the Jury, Does Roxy live; or does she banish herself to Coventry? Does she continue to grace The Pool with her presence, above the fray, merely as a side show and stirrer of the pot? Or does she become just a memory buried deep in the archives. Think of the possibilities with the SSNs who won't know Roxy's real ID. Think of the possibilities with regard to Joe's hyper-tension! Keep in mind, she is asking for FULL status as a Lady. This means she will not taunt or insult to any great degree (unbecoming), nor should she be subjected to the same, except in a playful, friendly way by those who know how to do it. She's asking for the wrath of the gods to come down on anyone who does not place her on the Ladies' pedestal. It is better for SSNs with no respect for Ladies to be discovered through the mistreatment of Roxy than the mistreatment of...well, the prettier Ladies. Some may say, "But there is no Roxy. It's just Treeburst155." To them I say, use your imagination sir. Allow yourself to live The Pool. Take a break from Real Life and petty concerns for awhile. Roxy IS real!! She's as real as anyone else who posts who you haven't seen or spoken to before. ____________________________________________ [ August 21, 2002, 04:32 AM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Mike-You-Idiot, As a Serf of The MBT, I choose to ignore YOU, a scum sucking newbie, until you actually post something that makes ME laugh. I'm not holding my breath either. You aren't worth the few minutes it would take to come up with an entertaining insult, but I'm going to try anyway because I need the practice. After this you're going to my personal Coventry. You're a pillock's pillock and a git's git. You're about as funny as thermonuclear war and sexually transmitted disease. In fact, you ARE a sexually transmitted disease! I scrape you from under my fingernails daily. When I clean my refrigerator once per year you're always there, ripe, rancid, malodorous, covered in mold and mildew, soft and squishy. Society spends untold millions in an attempt to eradicate the disease that is you. You're every plague known to mankind rolled up into one oozing, putrid, repulsive, slime ball the size of Texas. I'd rather be hit by a train than get within 1,000 miles of you. I wretch at the thought of ever receiving an email from you let alone a CM setup. You're a crashed hard drive, a blank disk, and a bad power surge. Above all, and finally, you are an SSN. There can be no greater insult than this, except to say that you will ALWAYS be an SSN in my book, no matter what the authorized authoritative authorities of questionable authority ever do concerning you. I pray to the gods of Peng I am a Squire before you make it to Serf. I dread the day you become a serf more than I dread an audit by the IRS. I would welcome root canal work if it would keep that day from arriving. In the name of all that is foul and hateful and Mutha Beautiful I cry out in anguish, "Free us from the malignant tumor, Mike-the-Git!! Cut it out of the Body of the MBT!! Incinerate it, and bury it deep in the outer boards where it belongs. ...and with that, Mike-You-Idiot, you may now SOD OFF!!; and know that on my honor as a MAN I PROMISE you I will never acknowledge your presence among us until you make me laugh with one of your posts. I sincerely hope Coventry is in your future. That's just how I am. I want you to fail here. The only thing I want more than a squireship is for YOU to fail utterly. You're doing a good job of that so far. Keep up the crummy work, ya git. As for the rest of you lackwits, know in your heart of hearts that I hate you too. Take comfort in that knowledge. Allow your hate for me to fester until such time as we do honorable battle. Hatred is a good thing. It builds character. Now, Sod Off!! Serf Treeburst155 out. Note: due to technical difficulties I am posting on Roxy's (Oh, what a bonny lass she was) account temporarily. Don't you lovesick puppies get all excited. Roxy is history. [ August 21, 2002, 02:47 AM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Likely, bloody, story there BOY-o (btw, any slack you got cut as a chick just went the way of the dodo). If Mad 'Bald as an Eagle' Matt really knew, you'd be standing there with your guts stomped out (lovely picture that). Now SOD THE HELL OFF!</font>

The Bald One has been informed of Roxy's true identity. IOW, the preliminary hearing is underway. _____________________________ Treeburst is a Serf. I never knew. I appreciate that. ____________________________ Hi, Emma! Don't throw away those old gowns just yet. ____________________________ Moriarty, You don't know how hot the frying pan is that you're presently jumping into. You can expect a subpoena as a friendly witness for the defense. Be aware, this does not entitle you to any mercy in our CM battle. _____________________________ I demand at least one poolboy Stenographer!

THE CESSPUDLIAN TIMES August 57th, 1017 Roxy Sues The Cesspool For Discrimination Against Transsexuals! Demands She Retain Her Female Status _______________________________________________ Roxanne Marden, 31, has filed a lawsuit against The MBT for discriminatory practices and policies regarding those who have undergone sex change operations. "I'm a woman now", says Roxy; "and they're MEANIES". Representing her is the able Mr Spkr, 35?, of Texas. Unwilling to disclose the legal strategy he would pursue, he did hint at precedent in the cases of the eunuch knight Panzer Leader, and the he-sheep, Mace. "It will not be easy", says Mr Spkr , "because, in the eyes of some, Roxy has made flagrant attempts to circumvent the rules of The Pool. This complicates the discrimination issue." The hearing is expected to include a dozen stenographers. Reasons for this have not been disclosed by the trier of fact, The Justicar, but are no doubt steeped in tradition. The Justicar, known for his conservative stance, enjoys wide support among the Pooligans. Courtroom watchers don't think Roxy has "a chance in Coventry" of retaining her status as a Lady In Waiting. Says one, "She'll be lucky to get the status of He/She of Yeknod's Paddock." (continued on page 4.3 of yesterday's paper) [ August 20, 2002, 04:18 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Would that be "man to woman" or "man to sheep"?

You're welcome, Alex. I thoroughly enjoyed many of you, too.

OK, one more time for Yeknod: My goodness, Yeknod, why the long face? Here now, cheer up. Let me fix you a drink. I liberated this big bottle of Irish whiskey just for you. I got it from that cornershop Emporium right up the road. The fool proprietor doesn't have any security cameras. Oh, and you should see the back room. Why...., there are all sorts of delicious items in there, including airpumps and carrots. Unfortunately, there was a MEANIE guarding the door so I couldn't get what was rightfully mine in there. Where's your Squire? Please, do call him home while I am here. He's such a dear sweet lad.

You're sticking your neck WAAAAAYY out there, Mr Spkr. How much would Roxy have to pay you for that?

Don't encourage me, Mr Spkr. I'll get permission from Matt to post legally as Roxy to the MBT, and then I'll demand a trial. Your job would be to convince Those Who Dwell on the Mountain that I should be allowed to reside in The MBT as Roxy with the full status of Lady In Waiting, with all the attendant respect and privileges due any other Lady. How's that for a challenge?! BTW, it's easy to be "original" when you're in a very unique position, never before filled. Treeburst155 out. [ August 20, 2002, 12:50 AM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Joe, That could have been real fun. I would have had Mr Spkr defending me. Hehe...I'm crackin' up just thinking about it. You guys have enough trouble with the SSNs though. You don't need Roxy's shi&te. Treeburst155 out.

Panzer Leader wrote: "...he had that same smilin' innocence and good-time fun-pickin' that no Roxy could ever touch." This is why Treeburst would never make it in The MBT as a man. He further wrote: "But the true icing on the cake is that YES! Treeburst really does like men (eeewwwww.)" How did you know I was a woman?! I've never told ANYONE that!!(except Dorosh) [ August 19, 2002, 09:42 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Now you got it, Lars!

OK guys, the gig's up. In the best interests of The Ladies of The Pool and The MBT itself, it is time to reveal my identity. Roxy is only the Fionn-flamer, Treeburst155. (Yes, Panzer Leader, you were right.) It's been a great deal of fun for me. I hope some of you enjoyed having Roxy around as much as I enjoyed portraying her. I will now abide by the wishes of our host, Battlefront.com, and cease posting to the forum. I have lots of tourney work to do anyway. I've been neglecting it for this Mutha Beautiful Thread. Again, it's been a great deal of fun, and I thank you all for it. Rejoice now, in The One True Thread. It is truly a thing of beauty. Sincerely, Treeburst155 (Mike Meinecke) [ August 19, 2002, 08:14 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]