I Have Been to the Mountaintop, and Found the Peng Challenge, And Some Old Beer Cans

[Mace]

And in the news today, Noba (vile, nasty and not nice) was [just] sent packing by the forces of good, niceness, and sheep loving in a Minor allied victory.

Of course, we won't be discussing our other battle with Harv, who is also vile, nasty and not nice...but seems to be winning with his oh-so uber SMG truppen against my rock wielding brits.

Of course, I'm leading him into a cunning trap. My sole remaining soldier has installed chastity belts on all the local sheep....that'll teach him.

Mace

[AUSSIEJEFF]

*WARNING* The following waffle may be offensive to sensitive eyes. If so, please avert your hearing.

Yes, yes, yes. We have the imminent release of CM:BB. And GOD saw that it was good etc, etc. So I'm led to believe. I am one of the poor sods who never got to see the Beta.

But, and this is a BIG but.... when are BFC going to release CM:BC (Combat Mission: Beyond Camelot). Surely there is huge demand for a return to the days of Olde when Kaniggets waer bolde (and Ladies were fought over to the death)?

Think of this wonderful CM game engine being applied to the likes of MkIII Trebuchets, Anti-Kanigget Long Bows, 1.5mm Heavy Horse Armour, short, medium and long Pikes, Daggers, Claymores, Ballistas, Crossbows et all.

Imagine a scenario where the brave English are holding a fortress under siege by the filthy French swine and their bovine flinging catapults. Burning oil at the ramparts anyone?? The mind boggles, truly it does!

What say ye, Ladies and Gentleworms of the 'Pool? Should BFC return to the roots of Cessdom itself and develop an Medieval Extravaganza for their next project??

I say "AYE"

Sir AJ

[Mace]

Naye!

The next planned CM will have Aussies in it; that will annoy Seanachai no end; that is a good thing!

Mace

[ August 18, 2002, 06:46 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Andreas]

More importantly the next two CMs will not have Canadians in them, and that will annoy the twin-city loony.

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

What say ye, Ladies and Gentleworms of the 'Pool? Should BFC return to the roots of Cessdom itself and develop an Medieval Extravaganza for their next project??

I say "AYE"

Sir AJ

Now that sounds like something I would definately buy, can I order mine now?

*I can see it all now.*

Those brave Knights on horseback rather than tanks, sitting around the cesspool fire as dusk falls listening to Seanacoochie tell tales of the past, and Berli stoking that fire so high that Peng has to move away for fear of spontainious (spontaineous)?combustion due to the amount of whisky he has consumed....

Joe would be up to his ears in paperwork trying to keep things in order, and the Lady's of the Pool all dressed in flowing dresses would be keeping the food a plenty and the goblets flowing.

YK2 taking time out to shine PawBroons armour so he always look as proud as the French should.

Roxy flirting with anyone who looks like they may have more than a few pieces of gold in their money bag.

And Persephone trying to convince Berli that Panzer Leader isn't really such a bad guy.

Ahhhhhh so peaceful a setting.

One question though......

Everyone is so damn content so when would the battle begin?

[Noba]

Posted by SS Mace:

And in the news today, Noba (poor misunderstood, and nice) was [only just] sent packing by the forces of evilness-extra-ordinaire, and sheep loving, [in the most DIS-gusting way] for a Minor allied victory.

A true enough exposition. He won by gamey rotten luck. His troops had no idea on how to retreat effectively. Obviously a fault in the coding.

My troops stopped to look at the sheep cunningly placed in the fields...they had 'hand-prints' on their sides. Whilst my troops were scratching their heads over this abomination, they were cut down by laughing American defenders.

Noba.

[Noba]

Posted by YK2:

YK2 taking time out to shine PawBroons armour so he always look as proud as the French should.

(So the English Longbowmen can send their arrows unnervingly straight at the nice shiny target...)

Roxy flirting with anyone who looks like they may have more than a few pieces of gold in their money bag.

(So she can lift their wallets ....)

Noba.

[ August 18, 2002, 07:31 AM: Message edited by: Noba ]

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Noba:

[QB]Posted by YK2:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />YK2 taking time out to shine PawBroons armour so he always look as proud as the French should.

(So the English Longbowmen can send their arrows unnervingly straight at the nice shiny target...)

Noba.]</font>

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Noba:

Dear Boo , I have updated the sig as you suggested. It was an original cut and paste from the first...therefore you have changed it since.

So stick it.

Mind you, I think that the Lawyers should have more prominence.

On another note, where is Fowl Joe ? He flits in and out of posting, ignoring all cries of "send a feckin' turn" and has the verbal dribbles problem so prevalent in a man with multiple personalities.

So JoeBlo, send a turn !

Noba.

Edited to note that Elvis is a waste of bandwidth.

Now this is just a lie sir, a foul, unsupported LIE! I am NOT ignoring the cries ... I'm just ignoring the PEOPLE ... oceans of difference in the two, oceans.

As to Stuka, let's not be too harsh lads. He IS a Knight in good standing ... well as good as any Australian ... which is akin to saying not very bloody good at all, but still. And I've become convinced that they look at things differently in Australia. How else to explain someone as lovely and charming as the Lady of Stuka being ... well, the Lady of Stuka?

Joe

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

How else to explain someone as lovely and charming as the Lady of Stuka being ... well, the Lady of Stuka?

Joe

Four Long Island Ice Teas, three Boilermakers and a couple of glasses of Glenfiddich explains this phenomena.

Steve

[Speedy]

No it takes more than that.

[Hakko Ichiu]

Scene: A dark and stormy night. The entrance to a broken down hostelry sign-posted "Ye Olde Ones' Hostelry and Cabana Bar". Silhouetted by a flash of lightning, a weary figure stands amid the bamboo that overgrows the path to the door. His footsteps crunch on the gravel path, except when he steps in something noisome and slimey. A gust of wind blows open the door just as he approaches the threshold. Hitching up his swords and running his hand over his shaved head, he steps in. The room is empty.

Hakko Ichiu (for it is he and none other): (shouting and pounding on the table) Drink! Bring me a drink.

Silence. Finally, a rustling sound is heard. A figure emerges carrying a tray and an order pad, and wearing a Speedo™.

Gaylord: Hello, and welcome to the Olde Ones' Cabana bar. My name is Gaylord and I'll be your 'Pool boy for the evening. Can I take your order?

Hakko: What manner of foolishness is this? I spend long weeks campaigning against the darkness on the outer boards and I come back to this? Strutting popinjays in fluorescent underwear! Where are the Scum-sucking Newbies grovelling in the dirt? And why all the frilly umbrellas and tropical decor.

Gaylord: Change of management. Some of the owners thought that a woman's touch would brighten up the place. Make it more welcoming. Increase traffic. That sort of thing. So, what can I get you.

Hakko: Whiskey! A Lagavulin, or maybe a Bruichladdich or an Aberlour. Water on the side.

Gaylord: Hmm, I don't know if I can pronounce those, let alone pour them. But I'll check with our head mixologist. Back in a jiffy.

He pirouettes toward the kitchen and prances off.

Hakko: Woman's touch. Bah! I remember when there were real women in the 'Pool. Women who would dress up in full length mesh body-stockings and melt into a puddle at the sight of my Nicholas Cage imitation. Real women. Not trailer-park trash who have to hire two-bit Texas shysters to get anywhere in the world. And now 'Pool-boys. Disgusting!

Gaylord re-emerges with a tall, frothy drink topped by a paper parasol and a fruit kabob.

Gaylord: Sorry, ducks, but we tossed out all those smelly, over-consonanted cough medicines during the makeover. But I've mixed together a concoction that I think will make you forget all thos horrid, Caledonian drinkie-poos. It's a combination of crème de menthe, triple sec, Courvoisier, cassis, framboise, heavy cream and...

As Gaylord is reciting the ingredients list, Hakko executes the drawing cut known as "Willow Stretches Branches", which neatly severs Gaylord's head from his trunk and results in a cascading fountain of blood. He then performs the classic maneuver, "Cherry Blossoms Fall on the Breeze", dicing the flying head into four equal quarters. He wipes his blade and sheathes it. Before Gaylord's body can fall to the ground, Hakko neatly whips the drink off the tray without spilling a drop and takes a long sip.

Hakko: Ah, most refreshing. Perhaps this 'Pool-boy concept isn't so bad after all.

Fade to black

[ August 18, 2002, 08:35 PM: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]

[MrPeng]

w00t!!!

Game UPDATES:

11. in the perpetual game against elviswe are in game 8 of 10 of Operation Death's Head SS by someone whose name I cannot recall. We are holding fast on the banks of the Dniper {Dnipeir? Dneepier? KneeDeeper? eh?) against the combined onslaught of Britishers and Amerikkkans. Hooray for a couple of Panthers and 15CM infantry guns.

Some fellah calls himself Crowbar who gots a hard-on for Fionn - I surrendermonkeyed to him a while back when I discovered he'd given himself FJs and saddled me with Poles. Then he pointed out that he had conscripts and refused to let me surrender. Now thing appear to be going OK. Excepet he just blew up my Sherman. Waaaaa!

Gaylord F - sent the wrong file on the first turn. The boy shows some promise.

Seanachai I get a turn out of him once almost once a week. Some damn thing at night. I have lots of spotters and machineguns and he has not seen fit to attack yet.

That is all

Peng

edit EFFING UBB!!! GAH!

Edited again to add something aboot AJ and somefink he sent me but hasn't sent anything since I sent back to him.

[ August 18, 2002, 12:11 PM: Message edited by: MrPeng ]

[mensch]

oh well look, wonders never cease.. a new peng thread, how.. original. And look! It was created by some gnome!

Amazing he got this started up, as he has enough problems trying to rub his two brain cells together to form a decent post.

If we are lucky his old age gets to him and we only have to read a 10 paragraph post; to his normal 30 longwinded burst of insanity.

well well.

*goes back to poking his voodoo doll with needles of the said gnome*

[chrisl]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by chrisl:

there is still no evidence that protons decay. If you poke around a bit you'll see all the proton decay experiments have been more or less converted to neutrino observatories.

btw, I can't recall any of my physics lecturers dressing like that in my final year at Uni. The field has obviously changed a lot since then.

</font>

[chrisl]

Originally posted by dalem:

]Won't they still pick up emissions from proton decay as well though? How does one really "fine tune" a gold mine full of cleaning fluid?

They would, except that they don't, and null results don't keep the bills paid.

The fine tuning is mostly in the analysis software, and they don't all use cleaning fluid. SuperK (before all the bulbs broke) used water, and Soudan uses iron.

[chrisl]

Originally posted by MrPeng:

w00t!!!

Game UPDATES:

You owe me a return file in that micromess that we started 8 months ago and are on turn one of. I won't mention that I only sent my setup back to you a few days ago.

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Andreas:

More importantly the next two CMs will not have Canadians in them, and that will annoy the twin-city loony.

Beg to differ, oh illustrious sacker of the citadels of the unenlightened. CM3 is reputed to cover the Italian campaign, yes? And did not those lonely warriors of the frozen north take part in at least the gloriously victorious assault on Sicily, yes?

Yr hmbl etc,

Michael

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by YK2:

And Persephone trying to convince Berli that Panzer Leader isn't really such a bad guy.

That would be the tilting at windmills part, right?

[Boo Radley]

As it's a lazy Sunday afternoon and I'm downloading a grass mod (and with my teeny-tiny 56k modem, it should take FOREVER) I think it's time for:

<big>GAMEY GAME UPDATES!</big>

R_Feet: I sent him the Arty/Fest '45 scenario earlier this week and have yet to hear back from him. All those surprised, stand on your heads.

dalem: My stalwart jack booted thugs have held off his hapless 'Mericuns for over half the game and so now he FINALLY starts to move up his armor. I've been hoping for new targets, as shooting at the same depleted squads as they scurry from mine field to mine field has become tedious.

Mrs.Spnker: Has succeeded in destroying all my armor and half my troops in the first ten moves. Is it any wonder that I loathe him? Now he's trying to get me to sign blank pieces of paper saying in his smarmiest voice, "C'mon. You can trust me." Snake.

Oscillating Jeff: Began by dropping unbelievably huge 'splodey things all over my main infantry force. But for some reason, he saw fit to give himself green troops while giving me vets. Now his guys are running away from anything that even looks remotely like a German.

Pepper Corn: And his magical dancing "Pansy Farming Cons" once again has snatched defeat from the gaping jaws of victory. Twice he almost succeeded in blowing away large chunks of my attacking forces by the gamey use of precise artillery fire and by hiding his defenders in "foxholes". Twice my handsome, apple-cheeked midwesterners have rallied to route him. Boy that sounded good. I'm going to say that again. Rallied to route him.

Lars: A haiku.

Seventy-five 'track

Sees my Sherman tank

They both fire at the same time

Lars is down one 'track.

Egnogathon: Send me a move.

OGSF: Although not much has happened yet, I know that my jack-booted thugs are walking right into a meat grinder. I think he's going to pick up the hat trick with this one.

Speedbum: Is whining about his choices, he's whining about his side of the map, he's whining that my tanks keep knocking out his and now he's reformatting his hard drive. To think that a fellow Ohioan would use such transparent subterfuge. It saddens me.

If I've forgotten anyone, rest assured that it's because I hate you with the white hot passion of a thousand suns.

Now I think it's time for a rootbeer float!

[ August 18, 2002, 03:26 PM: Message edited by: Boo_Radley ]

[athkatla]

Ok, well I'm sick of all you gobby aussies on here, so if one of you fancies a right old shindig and can get that sheeps hind legs out yer wellies, send me a setup! Have you got the guts for it, or have I to start slagging off your sisters for the brown skinned little strumpets they are.

If you can't answer this with a setup, sod off, better still, just SOD OFF...got it!!

Oh and GayLad you prancing prissy, where the hell are you, send me a fecking turn!

[ August 18, 2002, 04:20 PM: Message edited by: athkatla ]

[Roxy]

Roxy's Game Updates

Grog Dorosh and I have completed turn 4 of game 3 in our best of 99 series. Final score: Roxy 100, Grog Dorosh 0. He is improving, and he smells good.

Mr Spkr mocks my tactics, but fails to send turns. The sight of hordes of Frenchmen sweeping the map has no doubt sent him into a panic. He keeps sending me incoherent legal documents, apparently arguing for a "stay of execution".

Herr Oberst, that MEANY, is either still cowering in the woods or is in full retreat. I suspect the latter.

Now to real life......

All Lady Persephone's jewels have been returned to her. I mean, all the ones she might MISS have been returned. Thanks, Persephone!

That dreadful Hakko Ichiu is no doubt a hitman for Sherriff Joe. He has murdered the PoolBoy! He is the meanest MEANY in the land.

We Ladies shall be discussing this over tea this afternoon. That's right. I said tea. Thanks to Hakko Ichio, our Mai Tais with umbrellas are just a fond memory. I want to see his protons decaying in short order. I'm sure the other Ladies will agree.

Mr Spkr is stealing me blind with his "billable hours". If he wasn't so good at keeping me out of jail he would most definitely be, a MEANY. Nevertheless, I had an absolutely marvelous time shopping (I was shopLIFTING) with his charming wife, and look forward to doing so again. I'm hoping I can teach her the tricks of the trade.

Lady Persephone,

The swimsuit was given to me by Bill Clinton some time ago. It's a long story. He has given me several beautiful and expensive things. Some he knows about, and some he doesn't.

Yeknod,

In light of the demise of the Poolboy, I am not a happy lady. Please send Squire Athkatla by to cheer me up. You're such a dear. Oh, and keep your paparazzi away from my Cadillac, please.

Lady Emma,

Thank you for letting me wear your fine gowns. From a distance some even mistake me for you, I'm sure. I sincerely hope this will not get you into any trouble. If so, my hero Mr Spkr will take care of things, so you need not worry.

I'm off now to see my pedicurist. I found the most darling anklet in Wal-Mart so I need to.....Oh, I'll send you an email. I don't want to bore the boys.

Bye bye, my Heroes.

[athkatla]

*leaps out of his 7 series BMW he , ahem, borrowed for the day, spies Roxy clears his voice and sings*

Ever seen a blind man cross the road

trying to make the other side

Ever seen a young girl growing old

trying to make herself a bride

So what becomes of you my love

When they have finally stripped you of

The handbags and the gladrags

That your Grandad had to sweat so you could buy

Baby

Once I was a young man

and all I thought I had to do was smile

You are still a young girl

and you bought everything in style

Listen

But once you think you're in you're out

'cause you don't mean a single thing without

the handbags and the gladrags

that your Grandad had to sweat so you could buy

Sing a song of six-pence for your sake

And take a bottle full of rye

Four and twenty blackbirds in a cake

And bake them all in a pie

They told me you missed school today

So what I suggest you just throw them all away

the handbags and the gladrags

that your poor old Granddad had to sweat to buy

They told me you missed school today

So I suggest you just throw them all away

the handbags and the gladrags

that your poor old Granddad had to sweat to buy ya

Handbags and Gladrags

Rod Stewart

Damn, I'm a fine singer!

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Roxy:

Thanks to Hakko Ichio, our Mai Tais with umbrellas are just a fond memory. I want to see his protons decaying in short order. I'm sure the other Ladies will agree.

I know we Ladies Of The Pool must stick together, but I have fond memories of Hakko he was dressed from head to toe in leather and looked just like Nick Cage, he sang Love me Tender and I almost melted.

*sigh* Guess I'll just have to toss a coin.

"This whole world's wild at heart and weird on top."

[**YK2**]

Athkatla:

Great lyrics, Great song, I prefer the stereophonics version though have you heard it?