I Challenge Peng to Eat a Bug

[Delaney]

I bet you throw one hell of a dinner party, MrPeng.

Delaney

[Marlow]

You forgot termites you ninny.

[Panzer Leader]

Originally posted by MrPeng:

Are we talkin "true bug" here or any class of what are commonly referred to as bugs in the vernacular?

Most True Bugs do not make good eating as they either bite before you do or they have a noxious chemical defense wot makes em pretty nasty. Leaf hoppers are fairly innocuous tasting and do not bite so they can be harvested directly from leaf to mouth. AVOID Stink-Bugs for obvious reasons.

Beetles can be quite yummy. Darkling beetles and their grubs are pretty darn good if you toast them a bit first. Very nutty tree-ish sort of flavor as they mostly eats wood. Do not try to consume blister beetles or bombardier beetles. Chemical weapons of mass destruction. In fact, don't even pick up a blister beetle unless you are in the mood to practice some first aid for chemical burns.

Grasshoppers and crickets legs and wings removed briefly sauteed in a bit of butter are good good good. If you are out wandering in a meadow and feel a bit peckish and there isn't a fire available you can use your handy pocket glass to roast em in the sun. Just be careful not to burn holes through them. Oh, and have a heart and take the head off or something before you put them in the spotlight so to speak. Not sure if slowly burning to death is such a pleasant way to go even if you are a lowly orthopteran.

Ants - Big black ones good. Small red ones bad. nuff said.

Lepidopterans -

This is a tough category. Larvae - fuzzy is bad smooth is good. However, Monarch caterpillars are smooth and taste like hell so this doesn't always work. Inchworms: in the field the technique is to take them by the silk and slowly lower them into your gullet. Not much taste to them but they are kind of fun as they wriggle around on your uvula.

Pupae- eurgh. can't get past the look. Too much like eating a raw chicken egg or somefink. Adults: ALWAYS REMOVE THE WINGS. Whatever it is you plan to munch, the scales on the wings are pretty, but they are the animal's WASTE PRODUCTS. (Sure go ahead, drink your own urine. Or someone else's. They have websites for people like you.) Best bets in this area are what we entymologists like to refer to as LGMs - little grey moths. There's really no point in trying to identify them down to the species, they are just a bunch of non-descript nearly inch-long moths that are greyish. Remove wings, dry roast or pan fry in batches. Consume. A bit of salt and pepper helps.

Roaches and Fies: Unless you are on Fear Factor and stand to win 50K for eating a few hissing roaches (which are quite clean) Stay away from roaches and flies. They are disease vectors and should be destroyed with prejudice whenever possible.

Bees and Wasps. So you are a bit of an adventurer eh? WELL TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. NEVER TRY TO EAT A LIVE ONE. Actually the only good eating wasp is one called Muffy, but it can be awfully difficult to get her out of her wide wale cords unless you get her really lit up on Manhattans.

Not surprisingly honeybees are a bit sweet. KILL them first. Really. I can't stress it enough. Yellowjackets are also on the sweet side because despite the fact that they will consume just about anything, they really like fruit. They are good raw or cooked. KILL them first.

Other terrestrial arthropods - sowbugs, pillbugs, rolybugs, whatever you want to call them. The little gray bastards that roll up on themselves when you touch them - feh. They taste like where they live: dark, dank, musty and fetid. Avoid.

Centipedes and millipedes. I can never remember which is which. the quick moving flat ones that are reddish orange and live under rocks and leaf litter and stuff have a NASTY bite. Avoid. Drop the rock you found him under on the little bastard and crush him. The round ones that are dark brown and slow moving and come out at night - well, plenty of people eat em, but NOT ME. Too BIG. TOO much bug per bite if you ask me.

Spiders - Use the inchworm technique, drop em down the gullet by the silk. Of course it is a good idea to bite the bastard before he bits you. Again, TRUST me on this one. This is really more for show than for eating.

Well, that about sums it up. Why don't ya'll come over for a snack sometime?

Peng

Well... it looks like he took up the challenge then.

[Boo Radley]

Turns did not go out last night as it was my wife's, the ever beautiful and charming SheWhoMustBeObeyed, 40th, er...1st annual 39th birthday.

Many peasants died.

[Guest Mike]

Originally posted by Lars:

Mike

Figure out how to use email and Send a turn.

That's rich coming from the hardshelled insectoid who sent me the same turn twice in a row!!

Pillock - you got the turn, and you need to actually RUN IT before sending me the REPLY!!

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by MrPeng:

Are we talkin "true bug" here or any class of what are commonly referred to as bugs in the vernacular?

Most True Bugs do not make good eating as they either bite before you do or they have a noxious chemical defense wot makes em pretty nasty. Leaf hoppers are fairly innocuous tasting and do not bite so they can be harvested directly from leaf to mouth. AVOID Stink-Bugs for obvious reasons.

Beetles can be quite yummy. Darkling beetles and their grubs are pretty darn good if you toast them a bit first. Very nutty tree-ish sort of flavor as they mostly eats wood. Do not try to consume blister beetles or bombardier beetles. Chemical weapons of mass destruction. In fact, don't even pick up a blister beetle unless you are in the mood to practice some first aid for chemical burns.

Grasshoppers and crickets legs and wings removed briefly sauteed in a bit of butter are good good good. If you are out wandering in a meadow and feel a bit peckish and there isn't a fire available you can use your handy pocket glass to roast em in the sun. Just be careful not to burn holes through them. Oh, and have a heart and take the head off or something before you put them in the spotlight so to speak. Not sure if slowly burning to death is such a pleasant way to go even if you are a lowly orthopteran.

Ants - Big black ones good. Small red ones bad. nuff said.

Lepidopterans -

This is a tough category. Larvae - fuzzy is bad smooth is good. However, Monarch caterpillars are smooth and taste like hell so this doesn't always work. Inchworms: in the field the technique is to take them by the silk and slowly lower them into your gullet. Not much taste to them but they are kind of fun as they wriggle around on your uvula.

Pupae- eurgh. can't get past the look. Too much like eating a raw chicken egg or somefink. Adults: ALWAYS REMOVE THE WINGS. Whatever it is you plan to munch, the scales on the wings are pretty, but they are the animal's WASTE PRODUCTS. (Sure go ahead, drink your own urine. Or someone else's. They have websites for people like you.) Best bets in this area are what we entymologists like to refer to as LGMs - little grey moths. There's really no point in trying to identify them down to the species, they are just a bunch of non-descript nearly inch-long moths that are greyish. Remove wings, dry roast or pan fry in batches. Consume. A bit of salt and pepper helps.

Roaches and Fies: Unless you are on Fear Factor and stand to win 50K for eating a few hissing roaches (which are quite clean) Stay away from roaches and flies. They are disease vectors and should be destroyed with prejudice whenever possible.

Bees and Wasps. So you are a bit of an adventurer eh? WELL TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. NEVER TRY TO EAT A LIVE ONE. Actually the only good eating wasp is one called Muffy, but it can be awfully difficult to get her out of her wide wale cords unless you get her really lit up on Manhattans.

Not surprisingly honeybees are a bit sweet. KILL them first. Really. I can't stress it enough. Yellowjackets are also on the sweet side because despite the fact that they will consume just about anything, they really like fruit. They are good raw or cooked. KILL them first.

Other terrestrial arthropods - sowbugs, pillbugs, rolybugs, whatever you want to call them. The little gray bastards that roll up on themselves when you touch them - feh. They taste like where they live: dark, dank, musty and fetid. Avoid.

Centipedes and millipedes. I can never remember which is which. the quick moving flat ones that are reddish orange and live under rocks and leaf litter and stuff have a NASTY bite. Avoid. Drop the rock you found him under on the little bastard and crush him. The round ones that are dark brown and slow moving and come out at night - well, plenty of people eat em, but NOT ME. Too BIG. TOO much bug per bite if you ask me.

Spiders - Use the inchworm technique, drop em down the gullet by the silk. Of course it is a good idea to bite the bastard before he bits you. Again, TRUST me on this one. This is really more for show than for eating.

Well, that about sums it up. Why don't ya'll come over for a snack sometime?

Peng

[And in a dark, dank, musty and fetid corner of the paddock one can hear the repeated thwack of carrot on Coleoptera amid heavy panting and the odd collision of hoof on exposed mandible]

Don't mind me... I'm just tenderising me tea *sigh*

[stops a while to inspect the smashed remains]

Oh, reminds me of AussieJiffyBag

*thwack* *thwack* *thwack*

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[**YK2**]

Once Upon A Time...........

There existed a place known as the Cesspool, the folks who frequented the Cesspool were indeed a strange bunch of characters.

It all started long ago when a Little Gnome known to some as Seanachai decided it was time to lay down a challenge to MrPeng, he had wanted to make his challenge public so ventured out from his comfy little retreat to start the first Peng Challenge Thread now known to most simply as the MBT.

There was of course already quite a following.. which grew from previous numerous threads, Joe Shaw and Berli along with Seanachai and MrPeng became collectively known as the Olde Ones then there was PawBroon, Elvis, Mace, Aitken, Croda, MarkV, Andreas, Stuka, Hiram, Mensch, Chuppa, Peter, Lorak and Meeks along with many more which at the point of writing escape my memory (apologies for that)....

The MBT was full of witty taunts, long winded stories, and updates as to who was kicking whos arse, ahhhhhhhh I remember those days so well.... I rarely logged off before Midnight for fear of missing the next post.. It sure was addictive.

I guess in some ways it still is, after all I am still here, so guess some of the olde ways still manage to surface from time to time...

But mostly, these days I spend my online time chatting with some of the Poolers new and old alike, there is of course Persephone with her flair at conjuring up Images that have had me almost crying with laughter, she's very talented and is a great conversationalist, We sure have had some great discussions, we are like chalk and cheese yet so alike its frightning..

Ohhhhhhhhhh I just had a thought, could Persephone be my "Inner Croda"!!!

To Be Continued......

[Speedy]

Let it be known throughout the pool that the foul wretch OGSF has once again tasted the bitter ashes of defeat at my humbly brilliant hands. In that classic Berli scenario Lonely Country, OGSF's 10 T-34's and vast infantry hordes were slaughtered by my 2 Stugs and weakened Luftwaffe pussy's.

In other news Berli is a gamey git who uses flamethrowers in the wet and Nidan's horde of SU-152s are getting slaughtered by my at guns.

Oh and Wildman is AWL, yet again.

[ December 03, 2002, 05:00 PM: Message edited by: Speedy ]

[Lars]

You'll all be happy to know that I have just sent Winecape his radios. Rejoice in the fact that innocent Namibian Kudu will be dying needlessly on the savanna this Yuletide Season. They're so cute.

In return, Winecape said he would send me some fine South African wine. You might enjoy this bit from my email to him.

Seanachai, whom I have met so don't let him tell you anything different, likes a good "Franklin Avenue Cocktail". Which is a can of Lysol Blue with a hole knocked in the bottom so you can suck out the contents (don't use Lysol Gold, that just tastes nasty). If you have a local duplicate, toss it in also. Please mark which is his.

Looks like the Gnome will have a Merry Christmas down at the Mission after all.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by YK2:

Joe Shaw and Berli along with Seanachai and MrPeng became collectively known as the Olde Ones

Emma... dear... JOE SHAW IS NOT AN OLDE ONE! Old perhaps, but that isn't the issue

[Boo Radley]

OGSF, Malprop, SpeedBump, RLeete and Papa Kahn are all lazy bastiches who owe me turns.

All the rest of you sots are likewise lazy bastiches, but at least your turns are current.

Gits.

[Guest PondScum]

Peng forgive me, for I got lost in the outerboards and stumbled into a <font size=-1>redwolf</font> thread, and... and... <font size=-1>sob</font>... POSTED to it.

But it was THEIR fault, THEM. I SAW them. dalem was there (having epiphanies - so what's new?), and Berli too (being grumpy - ditto), and I think Seanachai although I couldn't tell through the tears, and maybe Mouse, but really, who bothers to remember him?

Bastages. I hate them for what they made me do.

[bauhaus]

Originally posted by pakfan:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by pakfan:

Pakfan Out.

And stay there!</font>

[Gaylord Focker]

Originally posted by PondScum:

Peng forgive me, for I got lost in the outerboards and stumbled into a <font size=-1>redwolf</font> thread, and... and... <font size=-1>sob</font>... POSTED to it.

But it was THEIR fault, THEM. I SAW them. dalem was there (having epiphanies - so what's new?), and Berli too (being grumpy - ditto), and I think Seanachai although I couldn't tell through the tears, and maybe Mouse, but really, who bothers to remember him?

Bastages. I hate them for what they made me do.

I think he should be sentenced to a Chips style roller disco, held by our very own Panzer Leader himself.

[Panzer Leader]

Uh ho ho, ha, hee hee, tee-hee-hee, Fudgepakfan.

Ahhh.

[Patchy]

Originally posted by YK2:

Ohhhhhhhhhh I just had a thought, could Persephone be my "Inner Croda"!!!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Persephone

[Noba]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

This is to announce that Noba is a gamey

bastard, and was somehow able to buy 35 KV-1s for our 1000 pt ME. He then proceeded to send my hapless Waffengrenadieren to the great Bierhalle in the sky, in large numbers. The 1 StuGIII I was able to field accounted for at least 20 of these monster clankety things, he was awarded the Knights Cross with diamonds, postumously. I am about ready to signal a mass withdrawal, but I will probaly still win.

Not when I hold all the flags, have not lost more than ten men, no tanks either - and I'm better looking by miles. You have NO CHANCE.

Your comment on your hapless troops amply describes their (lack of) leadership.

Noba.

ps. If anyone is going to reply to the Peng post. Snip it like a good little poster should... it's dispiriting to have to scroll through dross all the time. Thankyou.

[Ales Dvorak]

Love.

Regards

Alice

[Panzer Leader]

Notice: If anyone wants to respond to Noba, don't bother! He is a pillock and a GIT of the first order.

[Noba]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Notice: If anyone wants to respond to Noba, don't bother! He is a pillock and a GIT of the first order.

At least I'm a COMPLETE pillock and GIT of the first order....

Noba.

[Panzer Leader]

So you're saying it's better to be a lack-wit than a half-wit? ok, I'll buy that... Lack-wit.

[Noba]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

So you're saying it's better to be a lack-wit than a half-wit? ok, I'll buy that... Lack-wit.

YOU are the one "with" the lack.....Perhaps the gap in your anatomy is not just a physical thing. It must extend to the lack of mentality that is your sorry lot in life. It would also extend to your inability to beat me in a game....

Noba.

[ December 03, 2002, 08:59 PM: Message edited by: Noba ]

[Gaylord Focker]

Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by YK2:

Ohhhhhhhhhh I just had a thought, could Persephone be my "Inner Croda"!!!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Persephone</font>

[OGSF]

Originally posted by Speedy:

In that classic Berli scenario Lonely Country, OGSF's 10 T-34's and vast infantry hordes were slaughtered by my 2 Stugs and weakened Luftwaffe pussy's.

Ah'll see yoo Jimmy ain a QB where sum feckin' bastarrrrd gamey designer asnae tryin' tae demonstrate how "uber" some poxy uber-tank as. Noo tha at hailped AJ any o' course....killed both haes ubertanks on turn 1.....after tha gamey bastarrrd slaughtered Joe Shaw.

Ye still managed tae lose 18 buggery tanks ain tha "Directive ninety eleven" game eh? Ah'll bae sendin' a 1250 pointer your way soon, ye nervous twitch.