In the Peng Challenge Are Many Mansions, And I Go to Prepare A Place For You Now

[Hakko Ichiu]

Originally posted by Lars:

"For a few Gnomes More" doesn't even bear thinking about.

If only it was "The Gnome with No Name".

Sounds like a bad song by America:

Well I been through the desert on a Gnome with no name...

Originally uttered by Berli in a high-pitched, nasal whine:

While you may have fantasies about the British Navy, the rest of us are not interested. Have at if you must

What about all that "Get behind me" business? Just something from your carefree days of youthful experimentation?

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

This will not do, this simply WILL NOT DO! You are mine now, MINE do you hear?

Being owned by Punting Mouth-Breather. Now there's something that could make ritual suicide seem like a not unreasonable idea.

[Panzer Leader]

Originally posted by me very own Pet Squirrel:

Mr.Dorosh you tourist, no pictures please!

For i am no manaquinn, See i can breath!

Your dumfound but some found your knowledge to be deep

The way you ramble on about nonsense

Makes the minuits feel like weeks

Uniforms and Unicorns, both Dorosh adores

Canada wants him exported, off to some far away shore.

Both wanting and needy he walks most comfortably on all fours.

Tea parties with plastic people

And playing armyman reserved

Mr.Dorosh is quite busy

Though his mind is quite perverse

Wonder how Canadia lives a life such as this?

This should answer all questions

He was rasied by Grinch

Does Dorosh seem down on his luck?

Don't be fooled by the Manaquinadian

When with his plastic companions he's happier then a pig in muck.

That's the spirit lad! I'm glad to see the demerol finally wore off.

[Gaylord Focker]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Apparently Dorosh thinks I'm a hottie. Could it be the wax-like flesh? The 50 yr old linen undergarments and worsted wool trousers? Or perhaps it's my ability to stand perfectly still for hours on end?

Ahh, I know, it's the pink piping!

Gaylord me leetle squirrel, I have a task. Find this Dorosh in whichever thread he is hiding. Give him a smack-down of such EPIC proportions that he will be forced to come here, to our house, to defend himself.

Oh, and do it in rhyme. You will probably be subjected to some ASL conversion tripe, but as long as you make sure Mrspkr is not the author, you should be fine.

I found the thread where he's been hiding out on.

When Cess Poolers Attack, The Dorosh special, can be viewed in the English Speaking Mods Thread. I'm so over tired...i'm going to go change my oil and sleep very good tonight, sorry about being a whiny bitch earlier, i just have'nt had more then 7 hours sleep in 3 straight weeks including weekends.

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Apparently Dorosh thinks I'm a hottie. Could it be the wax-like flesh? The 50 yr old linen undergarments and worsted wool trousers? Or perhaps it's my ability to stand perfectly still for hours on end?

Ahh, I know, it's the pink piping!

Gaylord me leetle squirrel, I have a task. Find this Dorosh in whichever thread he is hiding. Give him a smack-down of such EPIC proportions that he will be forced to come here, to our house, to defend himself.

Oh, and do it in rhyme. You will probably be subjected to some ASL conversion tripe, but as long as you make sure Mrspkr is not the author, you should be fine.

I found the thread where he's been hiding out on.

When Cess Poolers Attack, The Dorosh special, can be viewed in the English Speaking Mods Thread. I'm so over tired...i'm going to go change my oil and sleep very good tonight, sorry about being a whiny bitch earlier, i just have'nt had more then 7 hours sleep in 3 straight weeks including weekends.</font>

[Yeknodathon]

[And as the September chills slowly grip Autumn's jugular vein wherewith something grey and heavy considers a disc and half-chewed manual]

************ SPOILER ***********

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

*sniff* Don't like the taste of that.

Bother.

Wherewith me what ifs and whatnots and wheresos and.... *sniff* werewolves...

Bother.

Is it Wednesday yet?

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

[ October 04, 2002, 03:23 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Panzer Leader]

Posted by Agua:

Speaking of which, where's my feckin' turn

Where's my FECKIN' game, bub?

[Agua Perdido]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Where's my FECKIN' game, bub?

Why whine at me, you incontinent wiener dog's favorite cushion? Joe's laid up with bad chops, and I'm sure Seanachai would rather pluck his entire scalp than do you any favors. You'll get your game when you get it. In the meantime: Shut. The hell. Up.

Agua Perdido

[Edited to note that chihuahuas, being small dogs with little skulls, have very tiny brains. Most of them are smarter than Panzer Leader, and better-mannered, too.]

[Edited again (while I'm at it) to note that Croda is a brainless prat.]

[ October 04, 2002, 04:31 PM: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

[And as the September chills slowly grip Autumn's jugular vein wherewith something grey and heavy considers a disc and half-chewed manual]

************ SPOILER ***********

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

*sniff* Don't like the taste of that.

Bother.

Wherewith me what ifs and whatnots and wheresos and.... *sniff* werewolves...

Bother.

Is it Wednesday yet?

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

No, no Yeknod! You're not suppose to eat the manual. Here...have some carrots and cheesecake.

Persephone

[MrSpkr]

Lords, you lot are revolting.

I hate you all nearly as much as I hate myself for paying any attention to you.

But not quite.

Steve

[Panzer Leader]

Lies! calumny!

Agua Perdido I think we all know that yesterday we proved you, YOU, you cur, to be the bottleneck in this cess-exchange (did everone get the meter in that last line? Its: you-pause-YOU{raised voice}-pause-you cur.Great!)

Yes, the battle between good and evil, between growth and entropy, between looks and style, is waiting idle in your filthy overgrown nettle-bush of an in-box.

Send it now or forever be known as the cringing ragamuffin I suspect you to be.

[Edited to add that I am fighting on the side of good growth style.]

[ October 04, 2002, 04:52 PM: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

[Panzer Leader]

Fair lady, Queen Mum Persephone, I would love a bit o' that carrot cake 'n' cheese if ye'd be so kind.

[Agua Perdido]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Twaddle

Mixing the Nyquil and the TheraFlu again, are we? Be patient, you whining twit (or better yet, dump a gallon of cow's blood over your head and go swim in a shark tank). I haven't even begun to make you wait (really, I haven't, but just you wait until I do!).

Agua Perdido

[Mace]

Originally posted by rune:

No singing Mace. You will scare Harv's sheep again.

What, more than Harv does already?

Mace

[Guest PondScum]

Gamey Updates:

Where is that skin-sloughing serpent Goanna? His inbox has contained a SETUP lo these many days, and yet he cannot bestir himself to reply. Is the weather particularly cold in that part of the world? Can he not find some sunny spot to supercharge his metabolism? The hyperactive shrews will wait for no lizard.

Panzer Armee Kahn has run into an immovable object in Cemetery Hill. Its armored cars lie abandoned on the field. Occasionally a German squad manages to summon enough nerve to run out of the treeline, only to get shot to pieces by massed Maxims and run screaming back to the Fatherland. Chaka is amusing himself by gamily using his flamethrowers on the wheatfields.

MrSpkr is on my list too, at number 26. Ha. That's one more than my rank on HIS list. Ha.

That leaves 23 other of you numbskulls to go.

[Joe Shaw]

Now this simply won't DO, not at all at all I'm afraid.

First we have young GuyLard Plucker whining and crying about not being "accepted" and taken to Squire. Look you lad, we won't have that kind of behavior here. You either step up to the plate, spit bile and venom in our faces and tell us to SOD OFF with a quickness or ... well, you could always SOD OFF yourself I suppose. These things take time, lad, you must establish yourself as something other than an annoying buzzing insect. Someone must take notice of you and then, THEN note you, you MIGHT be proposed as SERF to the Entire CessPool with first right of refusal on your bloated carcass as Squire given to he who proposed you.

YOU SET YOUR SIGHTS TOO HIGH LAD! Serf to the CessPool is far, FAR above the station of any SSN and is only dreamt of by the outerboarders.

NEXT we have Panzer Leader deciding that HE wants the lad as Squire. Oh Panzer Leader did you think you'd sneak this one by the ever vigiliant Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread? You, sir, have been barred from taking youngsters to Squire ... more for their protection of course but also to prevent your like from breeding, donchaknow.

Therefore you may NOT take him to Squire nor may you even propose him as Serf as that might give you an aprirorieee claim on him.

I find nothing in the rules, however, that prohibits you from ADOPTING a Squire taken by someone else. Therefore I would propose to the Olde Ones the following:

(7) On the off chance that SOMEONE OTHER THAN Panzer Leader should propose the lad for SERF ...

("_) Some Knight OTHER THAN Panzer Leader may then choose (Gawd knows why) to take the lad to Squire.

{^) Said Knight could then relinquish rights to the Squire to Panzer Leader ... shouldn't be too difficult, can't imagine anyone OTHER THAN Panzer Leader wanting the whiny little baggage after all.

But why, you ask, would anyone CHOOSE to go to all that effort? I can only think that it would be forced upon him. I propose, subject to the approval of the Olde Ones of course, that the current "Who's the Cutest Boy Then" match getting under way between Agua Perdido, that finest and most loyal of Squires, and Panzer Leader that ... well, let's just leave it at Panzer Leader shall we then, be used to determine the fate of GuyLard Plucker!

Should Panzer Leader be triumphant (fat chance), then the above procedure shall be enacted. Should he not ... then NOT! I would therefore suggest that the proposed Serf provide copious quantities of moral support to his proposed liege during the course of the match.

What say you Olde Ones? Should we bother with this or simply let the lad fade away?

Joe

p.p.p.p.p.s. The game is completed and in the hands of Seanachai (whose abilities as a scenario designer are enough to make the Gawds weep in despair) for his final review after I repaired the near fatal damage he'd done to it.

[ October 04, 2002, 05:19 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Persephone:

No, no Yeknod! You're not suppose to eat the manual. Here...have some carrots and cheesecake.

Persephone

No wonder Burlesque is always grumpy if that's what she feeds him...

[Malakovski]

Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

I entered, I read, I posted, tauting the Bard himself on the grounds of unbecoming friendliness.

He declined the challenge and loosed upon me a bucket brigade of old ladies, each in turn to heave a bucketful of the watery swill brewed up by their mediocre intellects--indeed a veritable Bud Light of insult and invective--first Lard, and Leeeeeeo, then Panzer Breeder, and finally you, Mr. Colonel, rose up from your knitting to swat ineffectually at the SSN, or I should say serf, if you will note the post by said Bard on page 6 of this thread.

But in each case a single verbal spanking, indeed a simple judo reversal of momentum, cowed the old bitty into silence or, as in your ignomious case, sent her crawling back behind rules and traditions, quoting her betters, hoping to mask her own want of prowess.

Indeed it is well for you that the heirarchy of this Pool is feudal, for in a meritocracy of wit, you are not fit to shovel dung.

Therefore I challenege you, unless you be a coward, to meet me on the field of battle, where there is nothing to hide behind, where all men are equals until one is proven the victor. Where flapping mouths are silenced by the thud of guns and cries of the dying.

Yet out of respect for order, the order of this thread and the place in its heirarchy to which the accidents of chance have consigned you, I will gladly explain to you the very obvious reason why Australians will not go away when ignored, and how this is closely connected to Kant. Therefore read:

THE CRITIQUE OF PURE AUSSIE

It is easy to make Kant go away. Consider: he divides all things into phenomena, that is the objects and relations of the physical world (the stuff you can see and touch, for those of you who ain't so quick), and numina, the unseen, unknowable ground of being. But hang on, if it is unknowable, how the hell does Kant know so much about it? Well, no philosopher worth his salt would hesistate a moment to rest his whole theory on an unsupported exception he's made for himself, but we, seeing this exception, can raise up the cry of logical fallacy, and QED, case proved.

And thus the song that begins Immanuel Kant is a real pissant, closes the door on Kantian thought.

In fact, once you've learned the above method, you can make any God, religion, philosopher, or idea that you happen not to like go away, too. Just find an apparent contradiction on the surface of the matter--a linguistic one will do--claim a logical contradiction, and write the whole thing off as a bunch of irrational hooey. And, if you're shallow and stupid enough to believe issues of this magnitude can be done away with that easily, you'll be able to live a happy, thoughtless life doing whatever you please.

Speaking of shallow and stupid, on to Australians. They are a different matter entirely. The above method simply will not work to make them go away, since it depends, however superficially, on logic. Australians have no logic, and often will not even admit it's existence, if you can get a word out of them in between spoonfuls of Vegemite and gulps of weak, fizzy lager.

Ignoring one is equally pointless. He'll just stand there, content wolfing down and occasionally belching back up his his wretched national "foods," and worse still, when he runs out he's bound to start bothering you again. The best you can do is keep him well stocked in beer and brewing byproducts, in the hopes he'll keep quiet, mostly, anyways.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Malakovski:

The best you can do is keep him well stocked in beer and brewing byproducts, in the hopes he'll keep quiet, mostly, anyways.

My Address again:

Rob Knight

7 Hume Avenue

Melton South, Victoria, Australia. 3338

Donations kindly accepted!

Mace

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Malakovski:

He declined the challenge and loosed upon me a bucket brigade of old ladiesBLAH BLAH BLAH...

OLD LADIES.. Cheek of it.. I'll have you know we ladies are in our prime....

And don't you forget it..

[ October 04, 2002, 06:12 PM: Message edited by: YK2 ]

[Treeburst155]

Treeburst155 game updates (CMBO):

Herr Oberst is a gamey bastallero!! He's on defense and refuses to stay in his foxholes and fight off my hordes. Instead he attacks my right flank. On top of that, he bought at least a half dozen of those overmodelled HMG 42's that CMBO is famous for. He's cutting me to ribbons with those laser guns. At least they can't run, even though they should be able to.

More-Arty is a gamey bastiche too. He continues to pound me with 300mm rockets. Every time I play a Moriarty movie the neighbors call the cops because of the noise. If I survive the arty he won't have a chance. I'm sure he didn't have enough points left to buy even a Kubelwagen after all the arty he acquired.

MrSpkr pretends he can't get email from me anymore so our game is off. I would have won anyway. I knew that before the game started. Besides, he's a gamey pillock anyway.

Sloe Squaw(CMBB) is.....well...he's slow, in more ways than one I might add. Joe, I feel I should warn you that I'll be upgrading my computer in two years. This will put me out of action for a day or two so don't rush that next turn.

Altogether now, raise your left yarble and repeat after me:

"I do solemnly swear that I am a git. I will faithfully uphold my duties as a git and Sod Off at every opportunity. May I be poked with a sharp stick repeatedly should I fail to do this one simple thing, so help me Peng"

Treeburst155, Squire to Senior Knight and Pillock, More-Arty, Defender of Lost Causes

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Malakovski:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

I entered, I read, I posted, tauting the Bard himself on the grounds of unbecoming friendliness.

He declined the challenge and loosed upon me a bucket brigade of old ladies, each in turn to heave a bucketful of the watery swill brewed up by their mediocre intellects--indeed a veritable Bud Light of insult and invective--first Lard, and Leeeeeeo, then Panzer Breeder, and finally you, Mr. Colonel, rose up from your knitting to swat ineffectually at the SSN, or I should say serf, if you will note the post by said Bard on page 6 of this thread.

But in each case a single verbal spanking, indeed a simple judo reversal of momentum, cowed the old bitty into silence or, as in your ignomious case, sent her crawling back behind rules and traditions, quoting her betters, hoping to mask her own want of prowess.

Indeed it is well for you that the heirarchy of this Pool is feudal, for in a meritocracy of wit, you are not fit to shovel dung.

Therefore I challenege you, unless you be a coward, to meet me on the field of battle, where there is nothing to hide behind, where all men are equals until one is proven the victor. Where flapping mouths are silenced by the thud of guns and cries of the dying.

Yet out of respect for order, the order of this thread and the place in its heirarchy to which the accidents of chance have consigned you, I will gladly explain to you the very obvious reason why Australians will not go away when ignored, and how this is closely connected to Kant. Therefore read:

THE CRITIQUE OF PURE AUSSIE

It is easy to make Kant go away. Consider: he divides all things into phenomena, that is the objects and relations of the physical world (the stuff you can see and touch, for those of you who ain't so quick), and numina, the unseen, unknowable ground of being. But hang on, if it is unknowable, how the hell does Kant know so much about it? Well, no philosopher worth his salt would hesistate a moment to rest his whole theory on an unsupported exception he's made for himself, but we, seeing this exception, can raise up the cry of logical fallacy, and QED, case proved.

And thus the song that begins Immanuel Kant is a real pissant, closes the door on Kantian thought.

In fact, once you've learned the above method, you can make any God, religion, philosopher, or idea that you happen not to like go away, too. Just find an apparent contradiction on the surface of the matter--a linguistic one will do--claim a logical contradiction, and write the whole thing off as a bunch of irrational hooey. And, if you're shallow and stupid enough to believe issues of this magnitude can be done away with that easily, you'll be able to live a happy, thoughtless life doing whatever you please.

Speaking of shallow and stupid, on to Australians. They are a different matter entirely. The above method simply will not work to make them go away, since it depends, however superficially, on logic. Australians have no logic, and often will not even admit it's existence, if you can get a word out of them in between spoonfuls of Vegemite and gulps of weak, fizzy lager.

Ignoring one is equally pointless. He'll just stand there, content wolfing down and occasionally belching back up his his wretched national "foods," and worse still, when he runs out he's bound to start bothering you again. The best you can do is keep him well stocked in beer and brewing byproducts, in the hopes he'll keep quiet, mostly, anyways.</font>

Yes, yes... err... yer got a thistle?

Bleedin' philosophers...

Yeknod

[ October 04, 2002, 06:28 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Malakovski]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Yes, yes... err... yer got a thistle?

Bleedin' philosophers...

Yeknod

Your post made sense before you edited it...and no, I don't do this in private. I do it at work. When else would I have time to write that much drivel!

[**YK2**]

Rofllllllllllllllll poor Yeknod

You're sussed......

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Malakovski:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Yes, yes... err... yer got a thistle?

Bleedin' philosophers...

Yeknod

Your post made sense before you edited it...and no, I don't do this in private. I do it at work. When else would I have time to write that much drivel!</font>