That Olde Peng Challenge Has Me In It's Spell

[Lars]

This just in from the battlefield:

The forces of all that’s good in this World – 68

Noba – 32

Did I mention he played this scenario before?

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by athkatla:

I don't understand the word clothespin, I do wish you would learn to speak the Queen's English as it should be spoken, and not use those awful "Americanisms" that you people over there are so fond of, good lord man, whatever next {Ugly little face removed because I felt like it.}

Oh for the love a Pete! (You remember Pete, don't ya? Moved in after Dave left? Yeah, Dave's not here, man.)

I didn't realize I was dealing with a poncing Pom! What next? We already have more Oddstralyuns than you can shake a stick at, (Which, I hear, is good work if you can get it.) a token Canadian, and now another Limey git! I would say the 'Pool is going to Berli in a handbasket, but that might be considered hyperbole...and I swore a million times I wouldn't resort to that!

OK, Athabasca-honeymoon, a clothes pin is a little wooden device (not unlike your head) that is used to secure clothing to a line in order to dry. Just clamp it on and the wet clothing waves gaily in the breeze, similar to many MPs. I imagine though, that you folks call them by another name. Carl, for instance.

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Elvis:

Wankers.

So, at last (or first?) it comes to this. Another 'drive-by' wanking. Really, Elvis, I thought you'd drop that metronome like reliance on rote memory for your challenges.

See, it's ok to get involved. It's ok to admit you are wanker-less. Just because you've lost yours, gives you no right to covet the wanks of others.

Do be a good boy and Piss-Off.

Remember the times I beat you like a drum (and I bet half the folks reading this subliminally inserted "wanker" for "drum")?

I'm prepared to do it again, you mouth-breathing excuse for a zen-like state (i.e., "Nobody's home").

You, sir, are a poltroon. A pygmy of CMBO skill. A chicken-choker from the word go. An infected pimple upon the ass of all that is worthy. Were you not already challenged in the social skills, I would seek to challenge you in new ways (like, "why can't you chew gum and walk?")

Were I an apple, and you were an ant, I would fall so hard upon thee that thou would'st covet a mere can of Raid.

Elvis. King of the Pillocks.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Goanna:

Quite a large portion of the most important of us are in entirely different time zones than you yanks are even aware exist, and most of us are gainfully employed and don't have time to comb the detritus like those of you holed up in a third hand trailer on Mille-Lacs with your small arsenal, a cable modem, a 2 litre botte of DEET and a few skin mags.

Oops! Someone's been peeeeeeeeee-kinnnnnnnnngggg!!

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Lars:

This just in from the battlefield:

The forces of all that’s good in this World – 68

Noba – 32

Did I mention he played this scenario before?

What's that you say? He's a non-double blind playing swine and STILL managed to lose? At least Stuka had the moxie to win the fight he had against me in his "Oh I've only played it once and from the other side so it's like it's practically new donchaknow." non-double blind game. Mind you I thumped him in our follow up LEGITIMATE match ... I could tell from the very start that my audacious flanking attack had taken him completely by surprise and ... but enough about me, let's talk about Noba.

Noba is, as we all well know, Australian and thus may be excused much, but HOW much CAN we be expected to excuse? Take a deep breath, hold it as long as you can, try not to eat before you look and scroll down to Pool G:

Noba's Dark Secret

Now ... just WHO is responsible for this lad? Who took him to Squire without proper vetting? The Justicariate may well be forced to conduct background investigations in the future.

Joe

[Michael Dorosh]

Originally posted by Lars:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

Norman Bates has nothing on our lad Dorosh.

That’s the one.

It had wit. It had style. It had panache.

It slipped the shiv in so deep you could hear the howls of laughter around the whole board.

A masterstroke.</font>

[OGSF]

Gather aboot, ye rancid blouss wearin' poodle walkers - sae Ah kin smack tha gapped toothed lot o' ye wi' a single swipe o' mah slightly chewed haggis!

Moriarty haes bin CRUSHED leek a wee rabbit under tha nether aind o' a heeland coo. E'en better mon, hae were CRUSHED bah mae. Ah think tha' wid bae "agin" as waill.

Ah anly menshun at cos Ah knoo ye care sae much.

Bastaaards.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[chrisl]

Originally posted by dalem:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Goanna:

Quite a large portion of the most important of us are in entirely different time zones than you yanks are even aware exist, and most of us are gainfully employed and don't have time to comb the detritus like those of you holed up in a third hand trailer on Mille-Lacs with your small arsenal, a cable modem, a 2 litre botte of DEET and a few skin mags.

Oops! Someone's been peeeeeeeeee-kinnnnnnnnngggg!!</font>

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Noba is, as we all well know, Australian and thus may be excused much, but HOW much CAN we be expected to excuse? Take a deep breath, hold it as long as you can, try not to eat before you look and scroll down to Pool G:

Noba's Dark Secret

Now ... just WHO is responsible for this lad? Who took him to Squire without proper vetting? The Justicariate may well be forced to conduct background investigations in the future.

Joe

Joe, I am disturbed by this post.

In fact, I am left somewhat confused and bereft.

First, why or how anyone from this Thread of threads would be posting a link to anything with Gunny Bunny's name in it, on it, or even erased from it, simply escapes me.

Frankly, I'd be less disturbed if I heard you cruised trendy inner city parks on the weekend to pick up child prostitutes than to discover you patronized anything to do with Gunny Bunny.

Nextly, what exactly are you revealing about that daft swine (but, still and all, our daft swine) Noba?

Are you telling us that he knowingly, and with malice afore-thought, entered into some sort of tourney that had anything to do with Gunny Bunny?

I am beyond confused. I am devastated.

Say it ain't so, Joe!

I don't care if he is Australian. I'll never believe he's Gunny Bunny's little boy toy until I read it from his own tap-tapping fingers.

Let us not rush to judgement, people.

However, if our worst fears are born out, let us all seriously rush forward to put the boot in, and cripple the silly Aussie swine!

On a quick aside, Joe, you excel at this business of innuendo, sudden revelation, and calumny! One would almost think, except for your obvious uprightness, that Tail Gunner Joe had been reincarnated!

Scary, to say the least.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Noba is, as we all well know, Australian and thus may be excused much, but HOW much CAN we be expected to excuse? Take a deep breath, hold it as long as you can, try not to eat before you look and scroll down to Pool G:

Noba's Dark Secret

Now ... just WHO is responsible for this lad? Who took him to Squire without proper vetting? The Justicariate may well be forced to conduct background investigations in the future.

Joe

Joe, I am disturbed by this post.

In fact, I am left somewhat confused and bereft.

First, why or how anyone from this Thread of threads would be posting a link to anything with Gunny Bunny's name in it, on it, or even erased from it, simply escapes me.

Frankly, I'd be less disturbed if I heard you cruised trendy inner city parks on the weekend to pick up child prostitutes than to discover you patronized anything to do with Gunny Bunny.

Nextly, what exactly are you revealing about that daft swine (but, still and all, our daft swine) Noba?

Are you telling us that he knowingly, and with malice afore-thought, entered into some sort of tourney that had anything to do with Gunny Bunny?

I am beyond confused. I am devastated.

Say it ain't so, Joe!

I don't care if he is Australian. I'll never believe he's Gunny Bunny's little boy toy until I read it from his own tap-tapping fingers.

Let us not rush to judgement, people.

However, if our worst fears are born out, let us all seriously rush forward to put the boot in, and cripple the silly Aussie swine!

On a quick aside, Joe, you excel at this business of innuendo, sudden revelation, and calumny! One would almost think, except for your obvious uprightness, that Tail Gunner Joe had been reincarnated!

Scary, to say the least.</font>

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I have a list Seanachai, a list of over a dozen members of the CessPool who have ... well ... I'll say no more now, but rest assured that the CessPool is a safer place with the Justicariate ever vigilant.

Joe

Gasp! It must be so! He's waving a sheaf of betting slips over his head while on 'Cess Camera'! That can only indicate hardcopy evidence of wrong doing that simply couldn't be risked by displaying it on-line to a hopeless bunch of lackwits who would actually find posting in the Peng Challenge Thread a fun way of spending a Tuesday night!

Noba, lad, how is it that you have obviously, and openly, and in a way that still escaped my understanding since Joe didn't explain exactly what was going on on that stupid site that had something to do with an f'ing halfwit of almost biblical proportions, that is, 'Gunny Bunny', how is it that you've managed to insinuate yourself into the Peng Challenge Thread in such a way that any of us could be concerned that you were involved in what can only be characterized as an 'unnatural', and, most likely 'UnAmerican' way with the above said 'Gunny Bunny'?

Oh, and don't fall back on pointing out that you're not 'an American', because these days, you're either 'an American', or you're against us, and we all know what happens to those who are against us (and no, I am not making some sort of disgusting reference to Grog Dorosh's mannequin, and a play on the concept of being 'against us', thank you very much). What happens, in fact, is that you're labeled as 'unreliable', and that George W. Bush looks at you with his scrunched up, 'eyebrows drawn into a single line' expression, which the charitable have characterized as his 'I can't go to the bathroom' face, but which more knowledgeable analysts recognize as his 'My God, will this thought never finish completely passing through my brain?' look.

[ June 26, 2002, 02:46 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Mace]

One thing about being associated with Gunny Bunny is that it makes you look really, really good in comparison.

Mace

[Papa Khann]

<hr>

Originally posted by R_Leete:

mass snippage of mindless drivel

More, as to your half-hearted (and witted) attempt at a challenge: I have a website listed in my profile.

<hr>

Ye Gods, man! Is this the ONLY way in which you can coax unsuspecting surfers into your oooohhhh *website*. Wow. A *website*. Well ain't that just an achievement and a half. Or come to think of it, in this case, half of an achievement.

Listen, laddie, I perused your pathetic excuse for a website and saw your glorified lawn mower prior to issueing my CHALLENGE to you. And if that pale imitation of wasted bandwidth was worth commenting on, I'd have done it already!

<hr>

Which, upon viewing, should provide ample oppourtunity for one of even your advanced senility to ridicule, debase and deride. Did you take the free shot?

<hr>

Obviously not. Reason? See if you can wrap the few brain cells those twisted chromosomal nightmares you call parents provided you with around this concept...

Folks of my, as you put it, advanced senility (i.e., those of us old enough to have already graduated from high school... not that you probably ever will, but some day you will at least be old enough to have done so were you capable of it) DON'T ALWAYS TAKE THE EASY, CHEAP SHOT!! (O.k., most of the time, we do. But not ALWAYS!) Sometimes we actually try to EARN our accomplishments!

And before you go all hissy on me, note that I have read that bald faced lie of a birth date on your profile. And I'll believe it is correct on the day that Lucifer himself knocks on my front door wearing a snowmobile suit and a stocking cap, sipping a cup of hot coa-coa and complaining bitterly about the temperature drop down below.

<hr>

Noooo, you just think I'm going to let it slide, and grant you a game. Whadda ya think? I'm some soft-headed old goat like Joe?

<hr>

No, actually I think you aspire to someday become a soft-head old goat like Joe. Not that that is anything anyone with a smidgeon of potential would aspire to. But I suppose in your case it will have to do.

<hr>

Taunt me all direct and personal like, and then we'll see. First, you draw blood, then say "engarde". Lesson for the day.

<hr>

You want it personal? Then for love of the Maker do something... I don't care, ANYTHING, that will differentiate you from the nameless, faceless rabble of mediocrity you appear to be up to your neck in.

<hr>

Last, what's up with all the damn conditions? As the latest SSN (at least the only one barging around like we want them here), you takes what you gets, newb. Like Jabos!, maybe. Naw, that one is too long.

<hr>

Good lord. Has anyone in this thread completed a basic reading comprehension course. Ever? In their entire lives? (I'm just going to assume that the answer for you, R_Leete, is no.)

The word prefer denotes a preference. Which, by the way, had you the wherewithal to look it up in something called a dictionary, is not defined as a d*mn condition. Had I intended to set forth some d*mn conditions, a half-way intelligent person (not you, R_Leete) might, just MIGHT, have expected me to say these are my d*mn conditions.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

<hr>

And other, seeing as your from the same Minisnowda as my Lord and Master, I'll grant you a boon. Pick something from Der Kessel. By the way, anyone heard from [loony] Mensch [/loony]? Byte Battles are perferred. If not, small QB. All random, either side. But beforehand, you must show me some back-stabbing verbal foreplay. I may be easy, but I'm not cheap.

<hr>

Oh very well.

Were I chosen by the Maker to suffer the privations of:

- hunger

- thirst

- physical torment

- going through life as an Australian or Canadian

- public flogging

- vile wretchedness

- submersion in a tomb filled to within an inch of the brim with my own filth

- being forced to watch reruns of I Love Lucy until reduced to tears

I would still bow down and kiss Mother Earth in gratitude that I have been spared the indignity of enduring this world as that sad and pathetic creature currently referred to as R_Leete.

There, happy? Tis more than you deserve.

Now on with the GAME! And a righteous good paddling shall your juvenile behind receive at the hands of my superior tactical awareness.

As per your request, I have browsed the Byte Battles at Der Kessel and have chosen Trun. I have taken the liberty of completing the setup as the Axis player. The file is on it's way to you.

I'd offer to play the Canadians, but that would be the closest thing to playing as the Australians as one can get in CM, and I know that Serf though I be, no one, not even a git like you, R_Leete would wish such an ignoble fate upon me. Indeed, I suspect that even those poor sods the Australians wouldn't wish it. Well, Aussie_Jeff might, but with those clicking and popping noises he uses in lieu of speech, who'd know it?

Papa

[Papa Khann]

Quick update of ongoing game.

Scenario:

- Jabos!

Force Allotments:

- The glorious forces of the Fatherland, arrayed in all their power and splendor, Me.

- The pathetic alliance of wayward Yankees, refugees, and the Coalition of Wal-Mart Greeters, Joe Shaw.

Turn 1: I disperse.

Where the h*ll is he? Bang-Spattla!! Oh, there he is.

His Jabo kills a 20mm armored car. No great loss. That crew was on probation for stealing some of Reichsführer Khann's Schnapps from the company stores anyway.

My dowdy young Huns spot a light AT gun in some woods on my flank. I decide to dismount a couple nearby infantry squads from their 251/1's to rush it next turn.

Turn 2: My infantry shoots up his gun crew. We shall search the bodies and strip them of their dog tags, so as to deny them any hope of proper burial. What the h*ll... no dogtags, just little buttons that all read Welcome to Wal-Mart.

Suddenly the sun is blotted out from the sky...

Where the h*ll did all these d*mn Jabos come from!?!

Papa

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

I don't understand the word clothespin, I do wish you would learn to speak the Queen's English as it should be spoken, and not use those awful "Americanisms" that you people over there are so fond of, good lord man, whatever next :eek:

I wouldn't take that from some fellow who's apparently named himself after a city in Amn, Boo.</font>

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

I don't understand the word clothespin, I do wish you would learn to speak the Queen's English as it should be spoken, and not use those awful "Americanisms" that you people over there are so fond of, good lord man, whatever next {Ugly little face removed because I felt like it.}

Oh for the love a Pete! (You remember Pete, don't ya? Moved in after Dave left? Yeah, Dave's not here, man.)

I didn't realize I was dealing with a poncing Pom! What next? We already have more Oddstralyuns than you can shake a stick at, (Which, I hear, is good work if you can get it.) a token Canadian, and now another Limey git! I would say the 'Pool is going to Berli in a handbasket, but that might be considered hyperbole...and I swore a million times I wouldn't resort to that!

OK, Athabasca-honeymoon, a clothes pin is a little wooden device (not unlike your head) that is used to secure clothing to a line in order to dry. Just clamp it on and the wet clothing waves gaily in the breeze, similar to many MPs. I imagine though, that you folks call them by another name. Carl, for instance.</font>

[athkatla]

Damn!

[ June 26, 2002, 05:32 AM: Message edited by: athkatla ]

[Mace]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

Were I chosen by the Maker to suffer the privations of:

- going through life as an Australian

I'd offer to play the Canadians, but that would be the closest thing to playing as the Australians as one can get in CM.

Indeed, I suspect that even those poor sods the Australians wouldn't wish it.

Hmmm, sounds like Aussie envy to me.

Mace

[athkatla]

I'd offer to play the Canadians, but that would be the closest thing to playing as the Australians as one can get in CM.

No, actually the closest you could get to an Aussie, is to play as the Brits, as it's well know that all Aussies are ex convicts from Gods country, otherwise known as the UK

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by athkatla:

Oh, and do I detect that there may be some Irish blood in you somewhere, the only time I have ever heard the words, " in a handbasket" is from my beautiful Irish wife, and after over 30 years of wedded bliss (!) I still don't know what it means. If there is Irish blood cursing through your bloated veins, then that explains a lot To end up, some more faces for you to delete

And I did. OK, Atlatl (look it up). I must admit that you are indeed an enigma wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in an especially odiferous pair of Grendel's underpants.

I was going to say something nasty about the Irish, but then thought that perhaps I shouldn't because I would not want to possibly offend your dear wife, who as we all know must be a saint and has enough of a burden as it is. But then I reread your post and realized that you had already made a backhanded gibe at the Irish. You would say that about your wife, that gentle creature who has YOU as her cross to bear??? You CAD! You CODSWALLOP! You CHICKPEA!

I know if I ever said anything like that to my beautiful wife, the ever gracious and charming She Who Must Be Obeyed™, there would be Berli to pay!

You will meet me on the field of battle.

I will be the ever popular Jack-Booted Thugs.

You will be the Cheese-sniffing Surrender Monkeys, known as the French.

You will provide a QB.

The parameters are unimportant.

You will prepare to Die-Alot™

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

the forces of GOOD, i.e. ME

I knew there was something about you I didn't like

(I mean other than your quest for order, general officiousness, the fact that you post, your existance, etc)

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Mace:

One thing about being associated with Gunny Bunny is that it makes you look really, really good in comparison.

Mace

Now, where is that 'Shut The Hell Up' key?

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

Oh, and do I detect that there may be some Irish blood in you somewhere, the only time I have ever heard the words, " in a handbasket" is from my beautiful Irish wife, and after over 30 years of wedded bliss (!) I still don't know what it means. If there is Irish blood cursing through your bloated veins, then that explains a lot To end up, some more faces for you to delete

And I did. OK, Atlatl (look it up). I must admit that you are indeed an enigma wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in an especially odiferous pair of Grendel's underpants.

I was going to say something nasty about the Irish, but then thought that perhaps I shouldn't because I would not want to possibly offend your dear wife, who as we all know must be a saint and has enough of a burden as it is. But then I reread your post and realized that you had already made a backhanded gibe at the Irish. You would say that about your wife, that gentle creature who has YOU as her cross to bear??? You CAD! You CODSWALLOP! You CHICKPEA!

I know if I ever said anything like that to my beautiful wife, the ever gracious and charming She Who Must Be Obeyed™, there would be Berli to pay!

You will meet me on the field of battle.

I will be the ever popular Jack-Booted Thugs.

You will be the Cheese-sniffing Surrender Monkeys, known as the French.

You will provide a QB.

The parameters are unimportant.

You will prepare to Die-Alot™</font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Noba is, as we all well know, Australian and thus may be excused much, but HOW much CAN we be expected to excuse?

I don't know what's worse.

The fact that he's in a tournament.

The fact that it's Gunny Bunny's tournament.

Or the fact that he lost to someone named "Buff".

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by athkatla:

Loads of useless twaddle.......

Hell!! Not another would-be Australian .......

There's been more "dropping" of the world acclaimed "Aussie" word in the last 50 posts by NON and most certainly NEVER-WILL-BE-AUSTRALIANS than a QLD Maroons front rower in a State of Origin match... I really feel for you guys, who are wishing with all your hearts that you could be with us down under, right here, right now... in a land of plenty.

Mace old chap, best prepare the Home Defence to repel all boarders ...... Baa-aa!!

Unca Stuky - man the Storey Bridge!! I wouldn't put it past that damned Ozzified Untergnome to try his hand at snorkelling in via the Brissy River.....

Comrade Noba - we'd better head for the International Airport, for I suspect the Just-a-Carrot himself is already on his way, disguised as a merchant banker and bearing false papers in the hope of settling here and joining the other 3,000,000 Mormon Brethren who doorknock evry ruddy Sunday! We just don't NEED another one of those, thank you very much but <U>NOSIRREE</U>!!

Oh, we best apprehend his less than trusty sidekick {unbolded}Can't Poop{/unbolded} while we're at it. Throw the tiddler back into the briny as it were.....

I think a stirring rendition of our battle cry is in order, men:

<BIG><BIG>Aussie, Aussie, Aussie,

OI! OI! OI!</BIG></BIG>

There ....... that should keep them at bay for a bit longer......

AJ