To Peng, or not to Peng, that is the Challenge

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Persephone:

My trip to Orlando

...We ended up driving down the coast and ended up in a Howard Johnson's hotel on the Ocean in Deerfield Beach near Boca Raton. It wasn't the Hotel with the 2 roomed suite we were going to be staying at in Orlando for half the price but it was on the Beach...it had a bit of a musty smell in the hallways, pigeons on the balconies and the weirdos (the artist who painted at night) and drunks on the beach on Saturday night...but no cockroaches (that I saw), so I won't complain.

Persephone

I lived in Pompano Beach for a year, and worked in Deerfield Beach at a Crown Lounge/Liquors during that period. What a horrible place.

Mind, the Barmaids (who were, oddly enough, all gorgeous and fairly intelligent) always gave me and me roommate our drinks for free, any brand we wanted, and the git who maintained the jukebox would put any song I wanted on it, provided we defended the machine by throwing disposable fools on it during barfights (twelve months of no jukebox damage, despite the deaths of two patrons), and the Manager of the lounge/liquor store would give us the key to open the jukebox and load it up every night with umpteen free songs, that would play in the order they were punched in, so we never had to listen to anyone's choices but our own until we staggered out to our cars to go home (while chortling about the drunk rednecks who kept questioning the fact that 'I've put twenty-five quarters inta' this machine, and I haven't heard one of my choices...'), and the fact that after a few weeks we had the moves on the pinball machine down, and could play it night after drunken night for free because we could rack up tens of free games.

Other than that, Florida was a horrible place.

Oh, c'mon! Every horrible place has something to recommend it. Did I mention the free drinks, gorgeous barmaids, and pinball?

Of course, Florida was one of the most wretched places on the planet. The American South, in general, is no fit place for humanity, so you seldom find actual human beings there...

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Of course, Florida was one of the most wretched places on the planet. The American South, in general, is no fit place for humanity, so you seldom find actual human beings there...

Ahh Seanachai , keeper of the hoky cow's milk udders and general lame human being. When you speak of Florida from when you were just out of school (1951? or are you not as old as you look) you know not what it is like now. Wall to wall houses. Occasional crack dealers. Tourists in multi-colored beach wear.

So now my man, send me my turn and my taunt. I hape you did not fail to see the taunt I left you.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Slapdragon:

Ahh Seanachai , keeper of the hoky cow's milk udders and general lame human being. When you speak of Florida from when you were just out of school (1951? or are you not as old as you look) you know not what it is like now. Wall to wall houses. Occasional crack dealers. Tourists in multi-colored beach wear.

So now my man, send me my turn and my taunt. I hape you did not fail to see the taunt I left you.

Your turn had been sent, before this post had e'er been. And it was, oddly, a good Taunt. I think better of you than you've ever deserved before. I shall think on your latest Taunt, and my response shall attempt to be worthy.

Mind, you plagiarized a better author. But so do we all. As Woody Guthrie said: 'Plagiarism is the basis of all culture...'

[Bastables]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Now I'm annoyed. Not only was there WAY too much lovey-dovey romance ****e in Spiderman (Mind the rain scene with the soaked blouse was a nice touch ... ummmmmm, touch!) but we have to scroll this page AND Patch apparently hasn't learned about PARAGRAPHS!

I think I owe Mace a turn but no one else seems to have bothered to return my very late files or my ISP (Big Al's Ladies O'Luv and Internet Service) has gotten snippy again and is failing to deliver every other legitimate email while faithfully delivering every bloody SPAM in creation.

Finally I am annoyed at the grogs on the outerboard. Haven't we plumbed the depths of every subject known to man about WW2 armor/guns/troops by this time? Now, having discussed to death every possible variant of every small arm and it's possible impact on CMBO (HELLO ... NONE!) now they're wasting time fighting about what MIGHT be in CMBB!

BAH! A pox on them all say I.

Joe

Silance joeFOOLIEO Kirstan D is a teen Idol and my personal fav after that under regarded Cheer movie Bring it on. Turns bah I've forget them all due to an increase in real world work load.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Slapdragon:

By the way, I am soon going to invite every bad mannered person I know into the cesspool, seems only right and fitting.

Why? Do you think you'll get some kind of family discount?

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Now I'm annoyed. Not only was there WAY too much lovey-dovey romance ****e in Spiderman (Mind the rain scene with the soaked blouse was a nice touch ... ummmmmm, touch!) but we have to scroll this page AND Patch apparently hasn't learned about PARAGRAPHS!

Joe, I know all about PARAGRAPHS...and my story happened to be only one paragraph. I would have written more but I didn't want to wear you out...I know you tire easily when you have too many words to read. So Spiderman has lots of lovey-dovey romance ****e? I'll have to go see that movie. I thought it was going to be a stupid action film.

Persephone

[Berlichtingen]

Ah! Persephone has returned. I will now go drown my sorrow at the loss of tranquility and silence

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by dalem:

Anyway, all you turds and turdettes; I have been in a really stupidly bad mood for about a week now. No good reason, no end in sight, and no point to it. I need someone to mock me and shake some sense into me. So hop to it.

Dalem, you fetid, festering, freak. You are a mistake of nature like the duck billed platypus. At least the duck billed platypus is somewhat amusing. Your vile presence is disgusting and you should be poked with sharp sticks until you stop twitching. No, you should be bludgeoned and then poked with sharp sticks. Even better, you should be forced to dance the forbidden dance with Joe Shaw, then bludgeoned and of course, poked with sharp sticks until you stop twitching and whimpering. Maybe, it would be most amusing for the rest of us if you were wacked repeatedly with a mackerel, kicked in the seat of your pants, forced to dance with Joe Shaw until the both of you are hot and sweaty and then both of you could be bludgeoned with heavy smacky things until you keel over. If your schedule does not permit this abuse, maybe Joe Shaw can stand in your place for the wacking, smacking, kicking, and bludgeoning. But, your turn will come.

See the Cesspool Receptionist for your appointment.

[Croda]

Alal and alak and alas once again...

My posting duties have fallen to the wayside as that bespeckled Master known as Real Life™ has again tasked me to the ends of the Earth in order to prepare for the coming of the new children who will soon devour my nights as work devours my days.

I though for sure that I was going to be a father again on Sunday after 5 hours in the hospital watching my wife snarl through contrations. Turns out she was just dehydrated and 2 liters of fluid set everything right again. Regardless, I figure I've got 2 weeks max to straighten, clean, dust, construct, destruct, pamper, call, arrange, organize, plant, weed, mow, whack (Bauhaus...) and otherwise become the essence of the ubiquitous nature of man.

As such, my postings have fallen as has my turn rate.

SO TOUGH ****E!

With that in mind, I would like to call a vote before I disappear into the netherworld of diapers and their tarry contents:

Which of the Olde and Entitled would have my squire extraordinaire Boo_Radley raised to the coveted and despisèd level of Kanigget of the Cesspool?

He has expressed the ability to taunt without the backing of CM-related skill.

He has sounded off with a pair and has sodded off (in Mace's area I hope) when required.

He has tackled squirely jousts 'gainst lesser beings.

In short, he has become one of us, though why he felt compelled to I cannot begin to surmise.

Let's have the vote then.

[Guest PondScum]

Originally posted by Croda:

He has expressed the ability to taunt without the backing of CM-related skill.

He has sounded off with a pair and has sodded off (in Mace's area I hope) when required.

He has tackled squirely jousts 'gainst lesser beings.

...and he's still too scared to play me.

Hmmm. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if that's a vote FOR or AGAINST.

[Slapdragon]

Noba you git. The Peng Challenge Thread is being made fun of in a completely inane thread:

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=9;t=002863;p=3#000056

While you are still doing the squire thing, I think I would like to order you to go to that thread, defend the honor of the MBT, then insult your liege in a way that shows your true contempt for me, realizing that no matter what you say I am releasing you once you win this battle.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by PondScum:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Croda:

He has expressed the ability to taunt without the backing of CM-related skill.

He has sounded off with a pair and has sodded off (in Mace's area I hope) when required.

He has tackled squirely jousts 'gainst lesser beings.

...and he's still too scared to play me.

Hmmm. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if that's a vote FOR or AGAINST.</font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Ah! Persephone has returned. I will now go drown my sorrow at the loss of tranquility and silence

Cheer up, Berli, you're going to the movies.

Don't choke on the popcorn.

[ May 07, 2002, 10:43 AM: Message edited by: Lars ]

[Joe Shaw]

The JUSTICAR Rides Again!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread is ON THE ROAD AGAIN!

Here's your chance to proudly announce to your envious friends and neighbors, "I've met the Justicar you know ... personal friend of the family. He even had a drink with me. Hell of a nice guy, you'd never know the awesome responsibilities and pressures he deals with from his manner. Just a very personable and regular guy. And interested in YOU too, well actually he was most interested in my 17 year old niece, but he was VERY nice to her, invited her up to his room he did, great honor for her actually. Oh sure, every once in a while he'll get that far away look in his eye and you can tell that he's thinking of some vexing problem in the Justicariate, but then he snaps right out of it, orders another beer on your tab and starts talking to you like you were somebody, you know? It's a real experience."

Yes folks, the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread will be granting audiences with Pengers in the following locations, be sure to get your reservations in early by email him at:

jshaw@sisna.com

May 12 - 15 : Dallas, Texas

May 19 - 23 : City of Industry, Calif.

Not all dates and/or times will be available, early bird gets the worm depending upon how cute a bird she is ... and no damn comments about worms thank you very much.

Joe

p.s. OH ... I was in Denver last week and OGSF didn't even have the common decency (big surprise that, eh lads) to call me up.

[Lars]

Speaking of OGSF, I'm here to report that he is a complete wanker (but you knew that already). The rotten Scot sent me a amusing little scenario where all I had to do was move a reinforced company and four Shermans across a bridge. Right into the waiting arms of a 88mm, several Wespes, a Stug, and a few assorted Germans with nasty dispositions.

The scenario brief was especially charming. "Artillery support has been provided to cover your crossing". Yeah, right. ONE FECKING 60MM MORTAR. You can lay down quite the smokescreen with that, let me tell you.

The surrender file has been sent after I had the joy of watching all tanks flipped over and turned into barbecue pits with the infantry converted to brats for the Uberlad's victory celebrations.

The tie-breaking battle commences tonight. He will pay, oh yes, he will pay...

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Lars:

Speaking of OGSF, I'm here to report that he is a complete wanker (but you knew that already). The rotten Scot sent me a amusing little scenario where all I had to do was move a reinforced company and four Shermans across a bridge.

Lars, as my former Squire (not that you'd have known it from our meeting in Minneapolis, didn't even bother to get up from the sofa, much less call me "Liege" ... ungrateful whippersnappers these days ... no sense of what's right ... now if Agua Perdido had been there ...) you should have known better. If you'll recall Lesson #124.8 "There Are None So Blind As Those Who Don't Play Double Blind" foreknowledge is a dangerous thing, especially if your opponent has it and you don't.

Now it's bad enough that you would play someone who had experience playing the scenario before, but to play someone who DESIGNED the scenario ...? Lad, I thought better of you. Of course using the word Designed to describe an OGSF scenario is much like claiming that the patten formed by a two year old tossing porridge against the wall is Art.

Joe

[Lars]

I realize that you are in your dotage, my Liege, and your memory sometimes is a little, shall we say, spotty.

So I feel compelled to point out that it was Noba who has sent the scenario that he's already played.

While OGSF might have played this one before, and I certainly wouldn't put it past him, it would have hardly mattered other than in picking if he wanted to be the frog in a bucket or the fat boy with a bat.

It was designed by none other than Fieldmarschall, who probably could screw up an anvil, so no actual tactics were involved on OGSF's part other than deciding if he wanted the winning side or not and hitting the big "GO" button.

The next battle shall be a QB to remove any doubts about pre-playing a scenario, completely unbalanced scenario design, or OGSF's lack of tactical acumen.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Slapdragon:

I was born in Des Moines, and indeed, my mother was a Dairy farmer, my Dad a corn farmer / Navy officer, although my ggggg uncle was a Southern General. Unfortunately, he was shot by his own troops.

Just in case anybody missed this little gem.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Lars:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Slapdragon:

I was born in Des Moines, and indeed, my mother was a Dairy farmer, my Dad a corn farmer / Navy officer, although my ggggg uncle was a Southern General. Unfortunately, he was shot by his own troops.

Just in case anybody missed this little gem.</font>

[Lars]

But Joe, was your ancestor shot by his own troops?

[dalem]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

Anyway, all you turds and turdettes; I have been in a really stupidly bad mood for about a week now. No good reason, no end in sight, and no point to it. I need someone to mock me and shake some sense into me. So hop to it.

Dalem, you fetid, festering, freak. You are a mistake of nature like the duck billed platypus. At least the duck billed platypus is somewhat amusing. Your vile presence is disgusting and you should be poked with sharp sticks until you stop twitching. No, you should be bludgeoned and then poked with sharp sticks. Even better, you should be forced to dance the forbidden dance with Joe Shaw, then bludgeoned and of course, poked with sharp sticks until you stop twitching and whimpering. Maybe, it would be most amusing for the rest of us if you were wacked repeatedly with a mackerel, kicked in the seat of your pants, forced to dance with Joe Shaw until the both of you are hot and sweaty and then both of you could be bludgeoned with heavy smacky things until you keel over. If your schedule does not permit this abuse, maybe Joe Shaw can stand in your place for the wacking, smacking, kicking, and bludgeoning. But, your turn will come.

See the Cesspool Receptionist for your appointment.</font>

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Oh, c'mon! Every horrible place has something to recommend it...

I can think of two good things to recommend about Florida...

Persephone was there...

and you weren't there...

Prepare yourself!

Like a newly-arisen corpse from a foul, stinking, mouldering, noisome, putrid, leech-infested, swampy... aw forget all that!

Like a corpse arisen from a Croda-like grave, a turn shall be heading your way! Time to finish that battle, with me as the Krauts and you as some type of namby-pamby Allied troops. Last I recall, it was in the hills, and there were trees around, and some smoke and big 'explody things.

Prepare to die, smurf-muncher!

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by Lars:

But Joe, was your ancestor shot by his own troops?

Yes, my direct (well, offset, there is a family tree of his direct desendents at VMI and his direct family was all females) relative was indeed a southern general. He also was a college professor. His students all hated him. His troops one day up and shot him as he returned from a recon (I suspect that he was likely out to the loo and they just tidied that bit of family history up).

Just to make Lars happy

The Jackson Family Tree

1966 (Des Moines) - Me

1946 (Des Moines) - Dad, US Navy. BA University of South Florida 1981. Farmer, Engineer, and now a store keeper.

1898 (Spencer, Iowa)- G-dad, BA University of Washington. Forester, Insurance salesman, travelling banjo player, and farmer.

1881 (Dodge CITY, IA) GG-Dad. Sgt Iowa Volunteers (51sy) in Phillipines. Captive for short time. Farmer, preacher.

1860 (Alexandria, VA) GGG-Dad. Moved to Ohio later Iowa and started farming. (Lots of relatives in Civil War on both sides).

1828 (Alexandria, VA) GGGG-Dad. Was cousin to Virginia Jacksons that included Uncle / Cousin / Nephew Thomas Jackson, who was later killed in the battle of the Wilderness by his own troops. Possibly VMI graduate. Was a plantation owner and absentee land lord. Held Slaves, and listed them with his last name rather than slave names. Died most probably Cold Harbor, although the records are slim. Date of birth is estimated.

That has some give in it because Thomas Nelson (b. 1860) was rather foot loose and was possible married more than once, and because the Civil War scattered the family records aand the family in all of its branches, far and wide. Also the family in the 1820s until the Civil War was rather large, and no generation had less than 6 kids surviving until adulthood until my father and my generation.

GGGG-Dad Robert McQeuen Jackson is the toughest case, since he was well off, has land, roads, and even towns named after him, but the Civil War almost completely erased him.

[ May 07, 2002, 04:08 PM: Message edited by: Slapdragon ]

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Interesting. SlapNTickle is only three years older than me. Who would have thought? Who would have cared?

[MrSpkr]

Hmmm. Anyone seen Seanachai lately?

Steve