To Peng, or not to Peng, that is the Challenge

[Seanachai]

Flim-Flam Men

Marlow makes his way down arched corridors, searching. Everything is bewildering, each new arch seeming to offer a new arrival, but revealing only more empty hallway. As he proceeds, he's suddenly startled by a sudden sound.

pssst!

Marlow looks aside, and sees two figures standing in the shadows. Both wear bill caps. The leading figure stands before a small stand, and constantly shuffles and deals cards from a worn deck. He throws out three cards, gathers them up, and casts them again.

Croda Here, buddy, care for a quick game of 'Find the Olde One'?

Marlow You can lead me to the Olde Ones?

Croda Oh, yes, you put up your money, and you make your choice, this one, that one, which one's the Olde One? Very educational game, lad, very good for developing decision making skills.

Marlow I have come here to find the Olde Ones. How can you help me?

Croda Easy peasy, simple as pie, lad! Here's what you do! He shuffles the cards, cuts the deck, and deals out three cards on the tabletop. Beside and somewhat behind him sits the other figure, glum and silent

Croda One. Two. Three cards down. flips one over Here's the Olde One, ya' see there's a brief glimpse of a capering, white-haired figure. He flips the card back over, and begins, with quick movements, to pass the cards over and under each other, rearranging them from one side to the other. And now, buddy, which one's the Olde One?

After a moment of contemplation, Marlow taps the right most card.

Croda Ah, sorry, buddy, 'no cigar'! You've chosen the 'Justicard' heh, heh, that's just our little joke, don't you know. Whadya say, double or nothing?

Marlow I...but what are we playing for? I seek the Olde Ones? What stake am I playing?!

The figure standing beside Croda suddenly speaks

Hiram He cheats, you know.

Croda Pay no attention to that New Jersey halfwit behind the curtain! What about our double or nothing, buddy?

Hiram He's an unprincipaled toad. Do you really want to find the Olde Ones?

Marlow Yes! I seek the Olde Ones!

Hiram Then you must move upwards. You enter on the lowest, filthiest level of the Cesspool, and you move upwards.

Marlow But...I climbed a plateau to get here! I came in at the top!

Croda Indeed you did, buddy, indeed you did! Now, one more turn of the cards will show us all the way home, and no mistake! Double or nothing, eh!

Marlow But what am I betting?!

Hiram Your immortal soul. But don't bet it with Croda. He cheats, and he offers a lousy rate.

Marlow But, who are you?! What should I do next?

Hiram Me? I'm Hiram. No one important. And you should use fewer exclamation points. Oh, and you should move up.

Marlow But Hiram, what of the Olde Ones? What can you tell me of them?

Hiram Well, One's Evil, and hard to get a take on, and One's Judgemental, and usually drunk, and One's a capering old idiot. That one's my patron.

Marlow What should I do?!

Hiram Rise, and consider what a sodding wanker Croda is.

Both figures fade away, and Marlow sees before him a spiral stairway, leading up...

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by Lars:

It was a close battle till the very end, when we both decided that our forces were dead, out of ammo, or just not going to listen to the idjits in charge any longer.

In the Allies case it was considerations of humanity: removing the wounded and the like. In the Axis case it was the men not listening to the idjits in charge any longer.

Yep we sure stacked bodies. Upwards of 400 casualties in a 1500 pt ME is a bit high. Guess we both really wanted those flags.

[Mace]

Croda turns Computer Grog!

Read all about it.

Mace

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />(Admittedly, there are many who tie you or at least run a very close second...ostensibly, most of the Pool)

Now since Seanachai granted me leave to make up words in the course of my natural and commonplace duties, it just stands to reason that I am also granted leave to point out the errors made by others in their choice of words. This is not, of course, to be compared to the quibble made by Patch nor can it be considered to be a pre-planned stunt since, let's face it, he who wrote the above probably made heavy use of the dictionary just to get through the words with more than two syllables.

So ... you don't mean ostensibly lad, you may have meant specifically or you may not have had a single clue what you meant and just grabbed a word at random. I suppose we should be glad that it didn't read "(Admittedly, there are many who tie you or at least run a very close second...Neanderthal, most of the Pool)" or even ... gypsum, most of the Pool.

No extra charge, all part of the service.

Joe</font>

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Glad to see the resumption of our game, you ponce. Do you need me to resend the bloody turn yet again, or can you work from any of the half dozen previously sent versions, you great bloody Flight Sim whore?

Have no fear, I have spent a little time (more than you are worth I am sure) reviewing the past turns, and decided to pick up the game where it left off. Oh I could have claimed a trashed hard drive or somefink like that, and backed up a turn or three, just before your *spoiler removed* came within sight of my *spoiler removed* and *spoiler removed* happened. but then I would have had to *spoiler removed* and *spoiler removed* and hit your *spoiler removed*.

So, you see, it really is easier to manage if I just let the turns play out.

And now that I sent my turn out last night (or was it this morning? It all mixes together in that alcohol induced haze...)

Where's my turn, ya git!

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />(Admittedly, there are many who tie you or at least run a very close second...ostensibly, most of the Pool)

Now since Seanachai granted me leave to make up words in the course of my natural and commonplace duties, it just stands to reason that I am also granted leave to point out the errors made by others in their choice of words. This is not, of course, to be compared to the quibble made by Patch nor can it be considered to be a pre-planned stunt since, let's face it, he who wrote the above probably made heavy use of the dictionary just to get through the words with more than two syllables.

So ... you don't mean ostensibly lad, you may have meant specifically or you may not have had a single clue what you meant and just grabbed a word at random. I suppose we should be glad that it didn't read "(Admittedly, there are many who tie you or at least run a very close second...Neanderthal, most of the Pool)" or even ... gypsum, most of the Pool.

No extra charge, all part of the service.

Joe</font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

(Admittedly, there are many who tie you or at least run a very close second...ostensibly, most of the Pool)

Unfortunately the word you originally used was ostensibly, an adverb that, well, let's let the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary speak for itself shall we?

Main Entry: os·ten·si·bly

Function: adverb

Date: 1765

1 : in an ostensible manner

2 : to all outward appearances

So, to bring it around full circle (and hopefully end this cuz I'm getting a headache) If I had said:(Admittedly, there are many who tie you or at least run a very close second...to all outward appearances, most of the Pool), i would still have been incorrect, yet the meaning still comes across. Joe, baby, it's effective communication.

But wait a minute, aren't you a mortgage banker? So somewhat like an attorney, you use words to confuse issues and obfusticate poor, old widow women. Well, your evil powers are USELESS against me. Why? Because I'm functionally ILLITERATE! Ha Ha! I've foiled your nefarious plot again!

BTW, isn't the word "mortgage" from the Old French, meaning: "pay till you die"?

[Lars]

If MrSpkr had received a degree in Architecture instead of going for the Bar, he'd still have a King Tiger.

He he he...

[Joe Shaw]

So, to bring it around full circle (and hopefully end this cuz I'm getting a headache) If I had said:(Admittedly, there are many who tie you or at least run a very close second...to all outward appearances, most of the Pool), i would still have been incorrect, yet the meaning still comes across.

The key phrase in all of this being, of course,

... i would still have been incorrect ...

Apology accepted.

Joe

p.s. oh ... it's obfuscate donchaknow. I don't normally quibble over spelling but since you went to so much work attempting to appear knowledgeable instead of simply agreeing that you're an idiot I felt it necessary to bend my rule.

p.p.s. Actually I've always thought the word Mortgage meant Dead and Duck ... but I could be wrong.

[Boo Radley]

Joe.

Sorry, when I wrote "obfusticate", I should have mentioned that I was using my Gabby Hayes voice. That's why I used "old widow women". Perhaps I should have thrown in a "conswarn it" or a "dagnabbit" to make it more apparent. My fault.

You may now go back to swindling poor families out of their homes, you horrid, horrid man.

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Now since Seanachai granted me leave to make up words in the course of my natural and commonplace duties, it just stands to reason that I am also granted leave to point out the errors made by others in their choice of words. This is not, of course, to be compared to the quibble made by Patch nor can it be considered to be a pre-planned stunt since, let's face it, he who wrote the above probably made heavy use of the dictionary just to get through the words with more than two syllables.

Joe, look up the word Justicar in the dictionary...I think you will find that the correct spelling is Justiciar. Now just try to weasle your way out of this one.

Persephone

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Lars:

If MrSpkr had received a degree in Architecture instead of going for the Bar, he'd still have a King Tiger.

He he he...

Bastiche. I bet you enjoyed taking one up the tailpipe.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Joe, look up the word Justicar in the dictionary...I think you will find that the correct spelling is Justiciar. Now just try to weasle your way out of this one.

Persephone

Dear Persephone, I believe it's spelled "weasel", not "weasle". Sorry, couldn't resist.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Now since Seanachai granted me leave to make up words in the course of my natural and commonplace duties, it just stands to reason that I am also granted leave to point out the errors made by others in their choice of words. This is not, of course, to be compared to the quibble made by Patch nor can it be considered to be a pre-planned stunt since, let's face it, he who wrote the above probably made heavy use of the dictionary just to get through the words with more than two syllables.

Joe, look up the word Justicar in the dictionary...I think you will find that the correct spelling is Justiciar. Now just try to weasle your way out of this one.

Persephone</font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Lars:

If MrSpkr had received a degree in Architecture instead of going for the Bar, he'd still have a King Tiger.

He he he...

Bastiche. I bet you enjoyed taking one up the tailpipe.</font>

[Boo Radley]

I did a Google on "Justicar" just for grins (get it?) and came up with this experimental exo-armor drawing.

That's all I'm going to say. I leave the rest up to your imaginations.

[Patchy]

Originally posted by dalem:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone:

Joe, look up the word Justicar in the dictionary...I think you will find that the correct spelling is Justiciar. Now just try to weasle your way out of this one.

Persephone

Dear Persephone, I believe it's spelled "weasel", not "weasle". Sorry, couldn't resist.</font>

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Now since Seanachai granted me leave to make up words in the course of my natural and commonplace duties, it just stands to reason that I am also granted leave to point out the errors made by others in their choice of words. This is not, of course, to be compared to the quibble made by Patch nor can it be considered to be a pre-planned stunt since, let's face it, he who wrote the above probably made heavy use of the dictionary just to get through the words with more than two syllables.

Joe, look up the word Justicar in the dictionary...I think you will find that the correct spelling is Justiciar. Now just try to weasle your way out of this one.

Persephone</font>

[Joe Shaw]

Joe, you just don't get it. Don't you know that when you argue with a woman, the woman is always right? I thought you would know that by

now...especially with all of those wives you have. Now Joe, admit that you were wrong.

Persephone

I was wrong to think that I'd win an argument with a woman by relying upon logic and reasoning.

You married guys out there might think about this. The word "marital" means a state of matrimony and the word "martial" means a state of war. Coincidence?

Joe

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Joe, you just don't get it. Don't you know that when you argue with a woman, the woman is always right? I thought you would know that by

now...especially with all of those wives you have. Now Joe, admit that you were wrong.

Persephone

I was wrong to think that I'd win an argument with a woman by relying upon logic and reasoning.

You married guys out there might think about this. The word "marital" means a state of matrimony and the word "martial" means a state of war. Coincidence?

Joe</font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

You married guys out there might think about this. The word "marital" means a state of matrimony and the word "martial" means a state of war. Coincidence?

Joe

Whereas the director of "Big" was Penny Marshall and the eldest daughter in "The Brady Bunch" was Marsha! Coincidence, or merely separated at birth?

[Joe Shaw]

[b}Joe, Give the old right hand a break and try marriage sometime. I am a major advocate of it. Now, maybe Mace can get away in singleness, but the rest of us need to have a confidant and a life partner, and do not have access to life like party dolls.

If you want, I can hook you up with some older women who are not too choosy, to test your marks on. Assuming you are not now married and just hiding it in order to give you an excuse to wine like a violated shoat.

Slapdragon you ignorant hillbilly, I've been married to the same wonderful woman for the past 30 years. My comment was in reference to the cross borne by our own Berli as a result of his legally sanctioned cohabitation with Patch. On the bright side, however, it IS Berli and he frankly deserves it.

As to your disavowal of life like plastic party dolls, I'd encourage you to try them again. In the first place they would surely be an improvment over YOUR current romantic partners and in the second place I suspect they are cheaper than hookers and, unlike most of the hookers you propostition, they won't EVER say no. Remember that one failure needn't be the end of the effort. Just remember that it really isn't necessary to "get them hot" and even if you insist upon that tactic again I'd not recommend sitting them on the stove as you did the last time.

Joe

[dalem]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Thanks for the help Dalem...aren't you suppose to be out fighting to win back your poor dogs ears? (If there are any errors in this post, just ignore them.)

Persephone

I think I've lost both ears and am now battling for his tail. Very sad.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Slapdragon:

[b}Joe, Give the old right hand a break and try marriage sometime. I am a major advocate of it. Now, maybe Mace can get away in singleness, but the rest of us need to have a confidant and a life partner, and do not have access to life like party dolls.

You mean there are life-like ones out there? Hoooo-Haww!!!!

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

I did a Google on "Justicar" just for grins (get it?) and came up with this experimental exo-armor drawing.

That's all I'm going to say. I leave the rest up to your imaginations.

Funny, I came up with this:

I think Joe is the one in the lower right hand corner.

Steve