I've fallen off of the Peng Challenge and I can't get up!

Yeknodathon · June 5, 2002

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
Oh, mommy! I would say "Get to high ground!", but I don't think there's any ground high enoough.
I see Mondays. Mondays piled upon Mondays. Mondays stretching on into infinity. A Mobius strip of Mondays. Mondays that are as grains of sand in an endless desert in which your bones will have been scoured clean before you see a Tuesday.

Mondays...

Prophetic

Yeknodathon · June 5, 2002

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
Oh, mommy! I would say "Get to high ground!", but I don't think there's any ground high enoough.
I see Mondays. Mondays piled upon Mondays. Mondays stretching on into infinity. A Mobius strip of Mondays. Mondays that are as grains of sand in an endless desert in which your bones will have been scoured clean before you see a Tuesday.

Mondays...

Prophetic

Goanna · June 5, 2002

. . . I'll be your huckleberry. But a cricket bat will have to do.

OK, now I promised myself that I wasn't going to start any new games until CMBB came out. But then this enhanced QB request from like February or something came in over some alleged insult that I made about the Bard, his lineage, his lack of dress sense, being able to walk, hold down a job or get busy with anything other than family pet and a skin mag. You know, something factual. So anyway, right when Algaeboy sends me the latest turn in one of the last PBEMs that I have going where I am just about to drag his tenderised carcass across a cheese grater half a dozen times prior to applying copious amounts of lemon juice and lye followed by a slow roasting with a flamethrower, I get this setup demand from Seany the peg-legged snow gnome

Now normally I'd cut the bugger off with a quick "get a furry brown dog up ya, mate" and get back to the business of fleecing (calm down Mace) clients out of hard earned Pacific Pesos. But then again, this is the Bard, an Olde One with a quest to {ahem}Crush all Australians{/ahem}. I could hardly decline, now could I? So, I have provided my preferences to the third party and will begin giving the Bard the treatment deserving of a red-headed stepchild forthwith.

Oh, and since he hasn't actually completed the setup yet, I should mention that Moriarty is acting as the diety in this little re-re-re-rematch. Yeah, that's right, the same Moriarty who takes time out from his everyday employment as a yellow journalist to set fires in his neighbourhood so that he also has something to do on the weekend. Did I mention that he carries a sequined purse and thinks a BLEVE is a way to keep water in the river?

Goanna · June 5, 2002

. . . I'll be your huckleberry. But a cricket bat will have to do.

OK, now I promised myself that I wasn't going to start any new games until CMBB came out. But then this enhanced QB request from like February or something came in over some alleged insult that I made about the Bard, his lineage, his lack of dress sense, being able to walk, hold down a job or get busy with anything other than family pet and a skin mag. You know, something factual. So anyway, right when Algaeboy sends me the latest turn in one of the last PBEMs that I have going where I am just about to drag his tenderised carcass across a cheese grater half a dozen times prior to applying copious amounts of lemon juice and lye followed by a slow roasting with a flamethrower, I get this setup demand from Seany the peg-legged snow gnome

Now normally I'd cut the bugger off with a quick "get a furry brown dog up ya, mate" and get back to the business of fleecing (calm down Mace) clients out of hard earned Pacific Pesos. But then again, this is the Bard, an Olde One with a quest to {ahem}Crush all Australians{/ahem}. I could hardly decline, now could I? So, I have provided my preferences to the third party and will begin giving the Bard the treatment deserving of a red-headed stepchild forthwith.

Oh, and since he hasn't actually completed the setup yet, I should mention that Moriarty is acting as the diety in this little re-re-re-rematch. Yeah, that's right, the same Moriarty who takes time out from his everyday employment as a yellow journalist to set fires in his neighbourhood so that he also has something to do on the weekend. Did I mention that he carries a sequined purse and thinks a BLEVE is a way to keep water in the river?

dalem · June 5, 2002

AAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! MY EYES!!!! AGAIN!!!!

[whimper]not another flamethrower thread, please no..........[/whimper]

dalem · June 5, 2002

AAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! MY EYES!!!! AGAIN!!!!

[whimper]not another flamethrower thread, please no..........[/whimper]

Seanachai · June 5, 2002

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:
HR already had a good talking to with me today. It seems that I insult too many of my people and use words that demean them. I didn't explain to them that I blame the Peng thread. I just did the cowtow thing and apologized for my carnal nature. How I abhor decent people.

Don't be daft. Human Resources people are weak, but lust after strength. They want to be in charge, but fear the responsibilities of authority.

The next time the confront you on this sort of issue, respond with some variation on what follows:

"Insult them?! Yes, I would be insulting them if I held them to less than the standard I know they are capable of! I expect these people to be the best, the Best! Do you understand me?! Oh, so some of them think I belittle them, do they? Some of them think we're not off for a weekend of cuddles and sickeningly sweet wine, and empty reassurances, do they? Well, good on me, then, say I!

I'm leading these people, do you understand? Not babying them, not worrying about their childhoods, not cutting them a break because most of them are as dumb as mud!

I'm leading them. No, I'm driving them! I'm asking them to give their best to this job, and to be the best that they can be. And when they give me less then their best, when they give this company less than they are capable of, when they betray themselves by slovenly, shiftless, half-arsed behaviour, then be sure that I will touch them up, Sir or Madam!

Because this lot is mine! I will taunt them, I will mock them, I will laugh them to scorn!

But I will not let them betray myself, this organization, nor themselves! If that is a firing offense, then execute your office, you lickspittle puppy!"

Mind, you'll be instantly terminated. But they'll offer you severance. Or, at the very least, they'll not contest your unemployment.

Despite the very real contribution they make, does anyone not hate the HR types that spend hours perusing the laws, cautioning everyone over every and anything that might give offense, and yet stand ready like the knackerman during every corporate 'reorginization', to swing the blade as employee after employee is cut.

And, of course, that's why most of us never require the best of the people who work for us. Why should they give it? What makes us think we should request it? What will they get, in return? Our loyalty? Ours, maybe, but not the Company's. And that is why HR requires everyone to be polite, and well spoken, and neutered. Because 'employee' is just another word for 'unit'.

Don't upset the 'units'. We need a constant stream of them to keep the Machine afloat. And the Units need the Machine to prosper in order to survive.

As my Grandmother said to me, in her 97th year, frail and birdlike, bound to her wheelchair, just a sharp mind behind a pair of big eyes, "How much longer, do you suppose, we'll have to 'buy' our jobs from these people?"

Apologies to all. My only excuse, of course, is that we all work for someone, and someone always works for us.

Not me, of course. I'm unemployed.

Seanachai · June 5, 2002