Lorak Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Seanachai: Damn it Berli! For the last time. I am an Ubergnome! Not a smurf. Berli: Your short and blue correct? Seanachai: I live in Minn!! Of course my skin is blue! sigh... Ok, I'm a smurf. You happy now? Berli: Of course papa-smurf..err.. Ubergnome. Seanachai: Fine Gargamel. Just take Dalem's rotting dog carcus with you. Makes the whole state smell. [ June 04, 2002, 10:13 PM: Message edited by: Lorak ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Small joke: In a small city, in Australia, a small town was suddenly besieged by a wave of ghost sightings. The local priest decided to put an end to all the nonsense and approached the subject at his sermon during Sunday mass. "I understand there's a lot of nonsense about ghost sightings", he began in his thick Aussie brogue. "Answer me this then. I want everyone to stand up who believes they have seen a ghost". About 20 of 100 people stood up. "Now I want you to remain standing if you have spoken to a ghost". All but 5 people sat down. "Do ya mean ta tell me that you five have spoken to a ghost?", he asked incredulously. 2 more people sat down leaving 3 standing. The priest continued, "Remain standing if you have physically touched a ghost". 2 sat down leaving one man standing way in the back of the church. Everyone in the parish craned their neck to see the old man, Mace, standing straight as an arrow. "Do ya mean to tell me Mace that you have seen a ghost, talked to a ghost, and even touched a ghost!", the priest continued. "Yes father". "Next thing you'll say is that you have had relations with the ghost as well." "It shames me to say, but that I have father." The parishoners gasped and the priest shouted at the top of his lungs, "YOU HAVE HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH A GHOST?" "Ghost!", old Mace started, "Oh geeze father, I sorry, I thought ya said Goat all along!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Small joke: In a small city, in Australia, a small town was suddenly besieged by a wave of ghost sightings. The local priest decided to put an end to all the nonsense and approached the subject at his sermon during Sunday mass. "I understand there's a lot of nonsense about ghost sightings", he began in his thick Aussie brogue. "Answer me this then. I want everyone to stand up who believes they have seen a ghost". About 20 of 100 people stood up. "Now I want you to remain standing if you have spoken to a ghost". All but 5 people sat down. "Do ya mean ta tell me that you five have spoken to a ghost?", he asked incredulously. 2 more people sat down leaving 3 standing. The priest continued, "Remain standing if you have physically touched a ghost". 2 sat down leaving one man standing way in the back of the church. Everyone in the parish craned their neck to see the old man, Mace, standing straight as an arrow. "Do ya mean to tell me Mace that you have seen a ghost, talked to a ghost, and even touched a ghost!", the priest continued. "Yes father". "Next thing you'll say is that you have had relations with the ghost as well." "It shames me to say, but that I have father." The parishoners gasped and the priest shouted at the top of his lungs, "YOU HAVE HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH A GHOST?" "Ghost!", old Mace started, "Oh geeze father, I sorry, I thought ya said Goat all along!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: "Pommie". Is that kind of like an Australian?No, its kind of like a hippie. ie, lack of personal hygiene, bad teeth etc etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: "Pommie". Is that kind of like an Australian?No, its kind of like a hippie. ie, lack of personal hygiene, bad teeth etc etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 5, 2002 Author Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by Stuka: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: "Pommie". Is that kind of like an Australian?No, its kind of like a hippie. ie, lack of personal hygiene, bad teeth etc etc.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 5, 2002 Author Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by Stuka: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: "Pommie". Is that kind of like an Australian?No, its kind of like a hippie. ie, lack of personal hygiene, bad teeth etc etc.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by Yeknodathon: Dark Lady, Seany-babe appeals to me baser, carnal appetites... but Berli is on a different, rarefied plane of desire... altogether more fragrant, a little Tinker-bell, a scrummy delight of wriggling pleasure and dainty, exquisit demeanour that fills me with deep and mysterious longings. He is, me Lady, a vibrant orchid among twigs. But we are among *sniff* course and rough Philistines, Dark Lady who would debase me affections, confusing the one with other... *sniff*... Now, if I were to have a token to keep; spare limb, signed edition of collected verse, plastic blow-up Berli inflatable with pull-string voice and bell-bottom pants me turmoil might ease? Yeknod, I've found you an inflatable Berli...sorry, but you'll have to supply the bell-bottom pants. Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by Yeknodathon: Dark Lady, Seany-babe appeals to me baser, carnal appetites... but Berli is on a different, rarefied plane of desire... altogether more fragrant, a little Tinker-bell, a scrummy delight of wriggling pleasure and dainty, exquisit demeanour that fills me with deep and mysterious longings. He is, me Lady, a vibrant orchid among twigs. But we are among *sniff* course and rough Philistines, Dark Lady who would debase me affections, confusing the one with other... *sniff*... Now, if I were to have a token to keep; spare limb, signed edition of collected verse, plastic blow-up Berli inflatable with pull-string voice and bell-bottom pants me turmoil might ease? Yeknod, I've found you an inflatable Berli...sorry, but you'll have to supply the bell-bottom pants. Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 5, 2002 Author Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by Persephone: Yeknod, I've found you an inflatable Berli...sorry, but you'll have to supply the bell-bottom pants. PersephoneAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EYES!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 5, 2002 Author Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by Persephone: Yeknod, I've found you an inflatable Berli...sorry, but you'll have to supply the bell-bottom pants. PersephoneAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EYES!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EYES!!!!Never fear, mon petite Chevalier du Persiflage, your trusty squire is back! Yes, the customs officers have finally released my CMBO CD (after they probably had a few games themselves, the gamey bastiches), and I can resume all my ongoing games - which seem to be strictly in the singular, involving merely the whupping of Goanna. This leaves me plenty of time to: (iii) brush up on my seeing-eye-dog skills for the duration of your nekkid-Berli-induced blindness (let's see... lead dalem to kerb, wait for oncoming bus, push him gently into traffic...) {a} congratulate you upon your promotion to Senior Kanigget (Seanachai has kindly granted me the honor of pinning the medal on your chest, and wow, is the pin a long one! I'll need a real good swing to pound it home...) <2> wait for that setup you were promising me [ June 05, 2002, 12:23 AM: Message edited by: PondScum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EYES!!!!Never fear, mon petite Chevalier du Persiflage, your trusty squire is back! Yes, the customs officers have finally released my CMBO CD (after they probably had a few games themselves, the gamey bastiches), and I can resume all my ongoing games - which seem to be strictly in the singular, involving merely the whupping of Goanna. This leaves me plenty of time to: (iii) brush up on my seeing-eye-dog skills for the duration of your nekkid-Berli-induced blindness (let's see... lead dalem to kerb, wait for oncoming bus, push him gently into traffic...) {a} congratulate you upon your promotion to Senior Kanigget (Seanachai has kindly granted me the honor of pinning the medal on your chest, and wow, is the pin a long one! I'll need a real good swing to pound it home...) <2> wait for that setup you were promising me [ June 05, 2002, 12:23 AM: Message edited by: PondScum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: Berli: Is writhing in the crushing grip of my superior play.Don't you mean your gamey setup? Let me set the scene for those who haven't experienced our cheating ways. He set this abomination up. He defends a village on the other side of a 400m pool table. I have Pommie influenced Poles, so my squads are as fragil as fine crystal. Wonderful for those long walks accross featureless plains in the face of nasty Jerry MGs, guns and tanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: Berli: Is writhing in the crushing grip of my superior play.Don't you mean your gamey setup? Let me set the scene for those who haven't experienced our cheating ways. He set this abomination up. He defends a village on the other side of a 400m pool table. I have Pommie influenced Poles, so my squads are as fragil as fine crystal. Wonderful for those long walks accross featureless plains in the face of nasty Jerry MGs, guns and tanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: "Pommie". Is that kind of like an Australian?Same bloody thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: "Pommie". Is that kind of like an Australian?Same bloody thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: Oh, mommy! I would say "Get to high ground!", but I don't think there's any ground high enoough. I see Mondays. Mondays piled upon Mondays. Mondays stretching on into infinity. A Mobius strip of Mondays. Mondays that are as grains of sand in an endless desert in which your bones will have been scoured clean before you see a Tuesday. Mondays...Prophetic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: Oh, mommy! I would say "Get to high ground!", but I don't think there's any ground high enoough. I see Mondays. Mondays piled upon Mondays. Mondays stretching on into infinity. A Mobius strip of Mondays. Mondays that are as grains of sand in an endless desert in which your bones will have been scoured clean before you see a Tuesday. Mondays...Prophetic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Persephone, Any spare Mondays are yours Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Persephone, Any spare Mondays are yours Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: Aha! Harken all, fer no doubt Ye no dat honk anywhere!! 'Tis da honk o' da donk t' be sure, t' be sure, Paddy me lad!! AJ Christ on a crutch with eczema! Haven't you been told to cease these horrible attempts at 'dialect'?! Wherever your talents may lie, laddie, it is not in this direction. Horrible, simply horrible. It's a pity that Australia is too sodding far away to get a quick plane ticket and check luggage that includes a baseball bat. Or perhaps not. Surely if flights there and back were cheap and easy to come by, the Aussies would, like cockroaches, be endemic everywhere you go. On the other hand, access to the 'real beers' of a people who've made a religion out of malt beverage consumption would be much easier to come by. A dilemma, to be sure. Perhaps if I simply paid one of the Aussies to hunt down AussieJeff and beat him into a state of compliance... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 5, 2002 Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: Aha! Harken all, fer no doubt Ye no dat honk anywhere!! 'Tis da honk o' da donk t' be sure, t' be sure, Paddy me lad!! AJ Christ on a crutch with eczema! Haven't you been told to cease these horrible attempts at 'dialect'?! Wherever your talents may lie, laddie, it is not in this direction. Horrible, simply horrible. It's a pity that Australia is too sodding far away to get a quick plane ticket and check luggage that includes a baseball bat. Or perhaps not. Surely if flights there and back were cheap and easy to come by, the Aussies would, like cockroaches, be endemic everywhere you go. On the other hand, access to the 'real beers' of a people who've made a religion out of malt beverage consumption would be much easier to come by. A dilemma, to be sure. Perhaps if I simply paid one of the Aussies to hunt down AussieJeff and beat him into a state of compliance... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 5, 2002 Author Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: Berli: Is writhing in the crushing grip of my superior play.Don't you mean your gamey setup? Let me set the scene for those who haven't experienced our cheating ways. He set this abomination up. He defends a village on the other side of a 400m pool table. I have Pommie influenced Poles, so my squads are as fragil as fine crystal. Wonderful for those long walks accross featureless plains in the face of nasty Jerry MGs, guns and tanks</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 5, 2002 Author Share Posted June 5, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: Berli: Is writhing in the crushing grip of my superior play.Don't you mean your gamey setup? Let me set the scene for those who haven't experienced our cheating ways. He set this abomination up. He defends a village on the other side of a 400m pool table. I have Pommie influenced Poles, so my squads are as fragil as fine crystal. Wonderful for those long walks accross featureless plains in the face of nasty Jerry MGs, guns and tanks</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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