Will Peng Challenge the Doodads?

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Here are the rules, Hiram Style:

A. You are not welcome here, even if the Bard himself welcomes you.

3. Be creative and pick a person to challenge.

VI. Expletives and epithets are encouraged, but be careful and try to be tasteful.

dog. Pick one person that you want to lose to and challenge that person.

3.14. Remember that if you think you don't really belong here, then you are correct.

61. You are less than nothing because you are not of "The Peng Thread". Think of yourself as the afterbirth and then things will come into focus for you.

2bsure. When you are ignored, don't be suprised. It's just our way.

[ May 15, 2002, 07:58 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

[Lars]

-23) You're 23 posts early.

:^) It doesn't have "Challenge" in the title.

[Leeo]

$) I hate OGSF.

23,482,678) I really <big>hate</big> OGSF.

beta) OGSF Sucks rocks.

Numero Secundus) Dying for OGSF is way too easy for me.

If pigs could fly) Did I mention that I hate that Mad-Scott-Wannabe, OGSF?

{edited due to the evil effects of that Malt-lick-her}

[ May 15, 2002, 08:13 PM: Message edited by: Leeo ]

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

I owe turns to some of you. Don’t act surprised. I won’t inundate you with excuses. We know that CM should be first and foremost in our priorities. Just accept that I am a bad person who doesn’t return turns quickly. For a bit of contrast, consider playing someone like the Bard. Then, you will be grateful for my turn schedule.

Hopefully, this incarnation of the Peng thread won’t have the nasty infestation of scum sucking, mouthbreathing outerboarders. Oh, how they made me itch. They scurried here and there when I flipped on the light. I only wanted some milk from the fridge. I hate the sound they make when I step on them by mistake. Some think they are clever and write love letters to Peng. Now, that is so very special. Cute even.

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Some think they are clever and write love letters to Peng. Now, that is so very special. Cute even.

Cute as a pimple on my ass.

[Panzer Leader]

This incarnation is [quiver]... a good thing.

As I caught up in the last pages of the previous challenge, Seanachai's voice became a higher and higher pitched thrumming in my ears, all the while Bon Jovi's Blaze of Glory shook the screen like a bad refresh rate. God, I am just glad its over, now let's hope the Bald Man with the Locks comes along soon, so we can put it out of its misery.

Speaking of misery, did Seanachai bugger off again, or will he come back after he changes vests?

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

I might as well put a bullet in my brain if Panzerqueer actually likes the thread I created. I know I've made some mistakes in my life. That incident with that large lady on the balcony and that tub of butter. But, maybe I went one Peng thread too far. What, now? What's it all about, Alfie?

[OGSF]

Ah thank ye Hiram fer knockin' taigaither thas clapboard retreat. Perhaps tha weepin' zit Seanachai widnae notice at's here an' keep blatherin' awah ain tha olde thraid....but Ah ha' mah doobts.

Wha a disgustin' pestulence tha' influx o' ooterboarders wha. Ugghhh!

[Leeo]

Originally posted by OGSF:

Wha a disgustin' pestulence tha' influx o' ooterboarders wha. Ugghhh!

P.S.: I hate you, OGSF.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seananchai:

Boo Radley's freakishly large and thuggish looking, isn't he? Maybe we could start with him?

Thuggish? THUGGISH??? Ah hell, it's a fair cop.

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Ah hell, it's a fair cop.

Surely we're not dragging that whole "Ssslapdragon-Thang" back into the new thread, are we?

{edited due to M.L., what else?}

[ May 15, 2002, 10:26 PM: Message edited by: Leeo ]

[dalem]

Having to post in a MBT entitled by Hiram is like being forced to use an already-damp towel - better than nothing, but not by much.

I only have a few games going with you slugs:

Boo: I'm winning or losing, as is he. Pretty hard to tell so soon, but I'd definitely guess that we're going to exchange turns.

Leeo: A little walk in the rain I'm having. A tiny little QB-ette, as it were. Very dainty and small-shoed.

Croda: Oh how I hate this man. It's like hatred factorial or something. In our current match, he has yet to activate his "dalem can't win no matter what" ray, so for the nonce, I am not losing. Soon he will aim his dastardly device in my direction and all will be for naught.

The Poet McTeagle: Is reminding me that my initial move to buy all StuGs was the correct one, and my actual move to buy Panthers for once was ill-advised. Very ill-advised. But I know that, if I could just lend him twelve bob 'til Friday, he's got a refund coming to him, in the post.

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

I might as well put a bullet in my brain if Panzerqueer actually likes the thread I created. I know I've made some mistakes in my life. That incident with that large lady on the balcony and that tub of butter. But, maybe I went one Peng thread too far. What, now? What's it all about, Alfie?

No, no a bullet is too quick and requires a steady aim... slow scratching of the scalp, in a circular pattern rotating one way and then the other and with each orbit further probing and boring of the soft pate's interior, is far more entertaining. In me own little way I shall selflessly contribute esoteric reflections... and sprinkle half-nibbled cheetos into the procedure to deepen the furrows.

Yeknod 'o tha Thistle

[ May 16, 2002, 01:26 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Goanna]

Surely we're not dragging that whole "Ssslapdragon-Thang" back into the new thread, are we?

Of course not Leeo you nincowpoop. He clearly stated "fair cop" and not jack booted, gun nut, part-time stormtrooper, megalomaniac, innocent hippie punding speed freak with bad posture and cousin/sister for a wife, now did he?

Bloody tree hugger idjits from Oregon.

PS: Not that anyone would really want to be a fair cop in any case.

[ May 16, 2002, 01:56 AM: Message edited by: Goanna ]

[Seanachai]

On a log before a dying fire an unkempt, aging figure sits, musing. The stars shine down, immeasurably far removed. Under their light the land stretches out in all directions, empty, featureless, and dark.

The figure leans forward to stir the dying fire with a length of stick, mumbling and singing to itself.

"I've erred. No, I've sinned. How could it be? Too much faith, or too little? Too much arrogance, perhaps...perhaps that, yes. Peng is gone. It all fades. What are we without him? And now it all seems like a dream. But the 'Pool is strong! It is I who've grown weak. It will go on, but...perhaps I should not. Berli will see to them. Trust Evil for that, at least. Time to go into the mound, to fade into a memory...a little people...a lesser people...a myth. They're good lads, they'll do fine.

Peng! Wait for me! I shall join you, lad. Maybe you were right. Our time here is finished."

The stick, unattended, falls into the fire, which briefly flares up. The stars shine down upon the fire, the empty log, and the Wasteland.

[Hamstersss]

Goddammit! I try to orchestrate a triumphal return and all I get is a single kudo from Berli and Seanachai jumping ship?? And Hiram "Nytol" Sedai starting the thread.

Gaddommit!

Christ, the next thing you know, I'll start understanding OGSF.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

This incarnation is [quiver]... a good thing.

Damn Hiram, that's got to make you want to take a shower

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Peng! <font size="-1">Wait for me!</font> <font size="-2">I shall join you, lad.</font> <font size="-3">Maybe you were right.</font> <font size="-4">Our time here is finished."</font>

<font size="-1">The stick, unattended, falls into the fire, which briefly flares up. The stars shine down upon the fire, the empty log, and the Wasteland.</font>

Darkness within darkness picks up the stick and stirs the fire to life

Better to rule in Cess than to serve in heaven...

[Stuka]

Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

I try to orchestrate a triumphal return

Have you been gone?

[Hamstersss]

Oh Stuka, you oversexed maniac, when I take over the world, I'll make sure to put you with all the Mormans...

[Mace]

Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

Oh Stuka, you oversexed maniac, when I take over the world, I'll make sure to put you with all the Mormans...

That's cold. Very cold!

Mace

[Mace]

Originally posted by Leeo:

Cute as a pimple on my ass.

We'll take your word for it.

Mace

[ May 16, 2002, 06:29 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Noba]

Ahh, peace.

Some updates.

AJ is getting right royally screwed by my gallant Polish troops. He has a nice StuG park on his side of the ditch. (I love the gentle arc of a PIAT in flight !) The Joust is in my keeping...until the next crop of reos. Lots of turns to go and no ammo.

Croda is keeping his record against me intact. Nothing more.

Lars has got radar guided artillery. Too early to say if it will be decisive.

Mace is hiding something.

The Trouble-making Gnome is defending stoutly in the English tradition. My SturmGruppe will overwhelm him shortly.

Simon is feeling the pinch from my Panther and Stu42's, big shells really hurt. He's lost 3 real tanks to my none. (Stuarts don't count).

Noba.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Lorak, if you are still recording these things: I lost to Peng last night in a TCPIP match. He set it up. I had two zooks, two MG jeeps and a mortar. He had a half track with a gun thingy and a platoon of troopies. I held the flag until he brutally raped my digital troopies. He’s a gamey cheater. How I hate him. I’ll do the setup next time and give him a good fight. Next time, MaCloud!!

[The_Capt]

Dear Peng,

I have noticed that your grand person seems to be infested with some lower life forms.

I have noticed some lice or such infestation who swarm in your nether posts. I am sure that these are annoying and bothersome.

Why do you tolerate these poor wretched souls?

You..Oh Great Peng..He who comforts me in the long darkness of the human condition. He who created the space between the atoms. Why do you tolerate lound and seeming useless beings?

Perhaps they are like your children and though incredibly flawed you still embrace them to your breast and give them succor. Perhaps you have given them free will and like humanity they have squandered it on futile posts and meaningless prose.

They may be living proof that the brain does produce waste but you..Oh Peng, the Great I am..still hold them dear.

I must meditate on the Nature of Peng a while longer. Perhaps you need an Avatar in this reality to show your misguided and hygene challenged offspring you true wishes.

Perhaps that is the reason they are rude and surly evolutionary throwbacks. Visit upon me thy blessing Oh Peng and give me strength to suffer the jibbering of Thy Idiot Chorus.

Show me the light so that You may usher us into a New Age of light and glory

Your humble servant

The_Capt

[ May 16, 2002, 08:00 AM: Message edited by: The_Capt ]