I Challenge Peng for a bone to be thrown

[Mace]

Originally posted by Speedy:

WooHoo I soloed today, look out Australia.

So...the potty training complete at last?

Mace

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Roxy:

Good night, Gentlemen of The MBT

Who's she talking to? Did someone come in when I wasn't looking? Is she playing mind games with us?

Seananchai mentioned earlier that Roxy was a "celebrity" incognito.

I think I have deduced who Roxy really is, and all I have to say is, Winona...why did you have to shoplift that stuff. I mean, you make five million a movie, why steal socks? It just makes no sense.

[Patchy]

Hi Roxy!

Persephone

[Speedbump]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Ladies and Gentlewormage,

It's time for some Authentic Aussie Humour:

MCARTHURS FART

[bleby and Bath 1974]

{GACK!}

--------------------------------------

Sir Aussiejeff

SMALL Knight of the Hob

AJ, I already said I was sorry. Please do not post anymore of this...this...{GACK}

Speedbump

[Speedy]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Speedy:

WooHoo I soloed today, look out Australia.

So...the potty training complete at last?

Mace</font>

[Doug Beman]

Originally posted by Mace:

*wipes away a tear*.

That was beautiful. Brought a tear to my eye, that did.

Mace

Yeah, especially if I've just knocked down half a pepperoni/mushroom pizza and 3 bottles of Harp. I should bottle the vapours and sell them as industrial paint remover.

DjB

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Roxy:

Good night, Gentlemen of The MBT

Insults will get you nowhere you... you... you silly cow. A Lady in Waiting did you say? And what, pray tell, are you waiting for?

Waiting for that pimply-faced teenager to ask you to the high school prom? Give it up! He considered his options and decided to eat the dead baby pig from Biology class and drink the formaldehyde it was shelved in, thereby embalming himself from the inside out, rather than go to the prom with you.

Waiting for the Arkansas heat wave to break so that you won't have to constantly wipe the bovine perspiration off your upper lip as you sit on your plastic wrapped sofa all day long watching Soaps and eating midget Snickers bars wondering why, oh why a male model named Eduardo doesn't come and pluck you from your sad existence. Give it up! Eduardo doesn't drive a stakebed truck with cattle ramp, so of course he won't be plucking you from anywhere.

Gentlemen indeed.

It just struck me that on this date in 1945, Nagasaki was the recipient of the second atomic bomb. Pity you weren't there to see it.

No-one calls me a gentleman and gets away with it.

[Doug Beman]

Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Roxy:

Good night, Gentlemen of The MBT

Insults will get you nowhere you... you... you silly cow. A Lady in Waiting did you say? And what, pray tell, are you waiting for?

Waiting for that pimply-faced teenager to ask you to the high school prom? Give it up! He considered his options and decided to eat the dead baby pig from Biology class and drink the formaldehyde it was shelved in, thereby embalming himself from the inside out, rather than go to the prom with you.

Waiting for the Arkansas heat wave to break so that you won't have to constantly wipe the bovine perspiration off your upper lip as you sit on your plastic wrapped sofa all day long watching Soaps and eating midget Snickers bars wondering why, oh why a male model named Eduardo doesn't come and pluck you from your sad existence. Give it up! Eduardo doesn't drive a stakebed truck with cattle ramp, so of course he won't be plucking you from anywhere.

Gentlemen indeed.

It just struck me that on this date in 1945, Nagasaki was the recipient of the second atomic bomb. Pity you weren't there to see it.

No-one calls me a gentleman and gets away with it.</font>

[Mace]

Good night Persephone.

Make sure this unruly mob behave themselves.

Mace

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Roxy:

Good night, Gentlemen of The MBT

Insults will get you nowhere you... you... you silly cow. A Lady in Waiting did you say? And what, pray tell, are you waiting for?

Waiting for that pimply-faced teenager to ask you to the high school prom? Give it up! He considered his options and decided to eat the dead baby pig from Biology class and drink the formaldehyde it was shelved in, thereby embalming himself from the inside out, rather than go to the prom with you.

Waiting for the Arkansas heat wave to break so that you won't have to constantly wipe the bovine perspiration off your upper lip as you sit on your plastic wrapped sofa all day long watching Soaps and eating midget Snickers bars wondering why, oh why a male model named Eduardo doesn't come and pluck you from your sad existence. Give it up! Eduardo doesn't drive a stakebed truck with cattle ramp, so of course he won't be plucking you from anywhere.

Gentlemen indeed.

It just struck me that on this date in 1945, Nagasaki was the recipient of the second atomic bomb. Pity you weren't there to see it.

No-one calls me a gentleman and gets away with it.</font>

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Mace:

Good night Persephone.

Make sure this unruly mob behave themselves.

Mace

I'll try to make them behave.

Good night Macey.

Persephone

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Persephone:

I bet Roxy would really like to know what you look like. How about sending me your piccy?

Persephone

Today is turning out to be a very, very bad day Patch...

Especially when some poor excuse for a monkey's arse decided last night to make a unilateral change in the application framework. One that just happens to require a rewrite of about 30% of the work I've done in the past two weeks. Grrrrrrrrrrr...

But my doctor told me recently that venting my anger is much better for the blood pressure than keeping it all bottled up inside. So...

NO PICCY FOR YOU!

NEXT!

[Terence]

Oooh! Another Peng Thread!! How exciting.

It would be ever so Jolly and Fun to play a game of Combat Mission against a Cess Pooler.

Why? Because the happy Cess Poolers are so clever and silly!

Silly Cess Poolers! Lets have a happy fun game of Combat Mission and giggle at all the cute taunting.

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Terence:

Oooh! Another Peng Thread!! How exciting.

It would be ever so Jolly and Fun to play a game of Combat Mission against a Cess Pooler.

Why? Because the happy Cess Poolers are so clever and silly!

Silly Cess Poolers! Lets have a happy fun game of Combat Mission and giggle at all the cute taunting.

I'm not sure you're even worth this, but.......sod off.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Terence:

Oooh! Another Peng Thread!! How exciting.

It would be ever so Jolly and Fun to play a game of Combat Mission against a Cess Pooler.

Why? Because the happy Cess Poolers are so clever and silly!

Silly Cess Poolers! Lets have a happy fun game of Combat Mission and giggle at all the cute taunting.

You know what else would be mirthful and amusing, Terry baby? Chasing you around a deserted A&P parking lot with a riding lawn mower, or perhaps through a field of golden wheat in a souped up threshing machine. Oh the fun and frolic, watching you struggle onward on your bleeding feet as the whirling blades came closer and closer.

But then, I'm quite the whimsical guy.

[Goanna]

Nice work Horse Ovaries. Good to see a veteran pooler attempting to make a SSN welcome with some pointed remarks, especially one of the minority persuation. Gotta keep up standards don't you know. We are Equal Opportunity Abusers here in the pool.

I was just myself going to comment on Roxy Horrors locale. Everytime I start to read her posts I hear the faint sound of dueling banjos and get a whiff of magnolia. Mixed with the other noxious gas around here, it's enough to test my legendary lack of a gag reflex.

Speaking of noxious gas and gag reflexes, where is the Justicator. Out selling someone on their next bad deal I imagine.

[Buzzsaw]

The Battle of Dummkopfenburg

Turn 2

As Oberfeldwebel Tobias Buzzsaw’s halftrack skidded to a stop behind the north building of the Dummkopfenburg Sledworks, he vaulted over the side and scrambled into the vacant factory. What had once been a thriving manufacturing plant, complete with a carpentry, metal, and paint shops, was now an abandoned wreck of rust and cobwebs. The factory might have been used in the war effort (Buzzsaw had seen the plans for the Mark I Light Attack Luge), but it had been run out of business a year before the war – the victim of a protracted legal battle. The courts had eventually ruled in favor of the Dummkopfenburg Sledworks, agreeing with the defendant that the failure of their literature to mention that hamsters should not pilot the Dummkopfenburg Toboggan did not constitute gross negligence. The cost of the lengthy legal battle, however, had bankrupt the company.

Buzzsaw directed his men into position, sending two squads into the smaller stone buildings near the Sledworks perimeter, and setting up a third squad and a heavy machinegun in the main factory buildings.

And then there was a brief pause, a moment of breathless calm and crackling tension. A moment, that, burdened with the weight of the countless bloody conflicts that came before and terrible savage melee that was to follow, left an indelible impression on every man that was to survive the day.

To be continued…

[ August 09, 2002, 02:09 PM: Message edited by: Buzzsaw ]

[Roxy]

Miiisteeer Speeeaaakeeer,

You have been very kind to me since my debut. You wouldn't even insult me with any vigor to get a setup. I also gather you are a member of the legal profession. In light of these facts, and my chronic problems with credit card fraud and identity theft, I need all the lawyer friends I can get. You sir, shall have your setup.

For FREE representation in those horrid courtrooms I often find myself in, I will even let you pick the type of game. You know, parameters and such. Just post them here. Oh, I am in possession of the full Combat Mission game. Although it was against my principles, and very difficult for me to do, I purchased the game with a valid credit card bearing my name. Someday I hope I can forgive myself for that.

Herr Oberst,

That was a marvelous insult! I enjoyed it immensely. I think it should be permanently recorded by Lady Persephone as an example of just how to insult a Lady In Waiting. It is in keeping with the high regard The Olde Ones and Sherriff Joe Shaw hold for any lady who chooses to dwell here. It was extremely insulting, especially to one as vain as I; but it was not crass and beneath the dignity of The One True Thread. I congratulate you, sir.

You now have a choice. You may either retract your insult or accept a setup from me. If you choose the former, I will KNOW you are gentleman, and will forever refer to you as Gentleman Oberst. If you choose the latter, I will send you a lopsided setup guaranteed to insure my victory. Unlike Mr Spkr, you will NOT get any choices concerning the battle. You, after all, have insulted me. You will also have to wait a few days. I normally keep men waiting anyway; but because of your insult, I wouldn't send you a prompt setup even if you gave me your credit card number. Well, maybe I would in that case.

If you don't accept a setup, I'll....I'll.....I'll cry. [sniffle....sniff] Oh how you have hurt me so. [sniffle]

Lady Persephone,

Thank you for stopping by to say, "Hi" to a lowly Lady In Waiting.

Goanna ,

If I could read through my tears of sorrow and hurt inflicted upon me by Herr Oberst, I would read your post. My nose still works however, and you smell good. Thank you for cleaning up before addressing me.

I must go dry my eyes now because of what that meany Herr Oberst has said about me.

[ August 09, 2002, 02:34 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

[Doug Beman]

Originally posted by Goanna:

Nice work Horse Ovaries. Good to see a veteran pooler attempting to make a SSN welcome with some pointed remarks, especially one of the minority persuation. Gotta keep up standards don't you know. We are Equal Opportunity Abusers here in the pool.

I was just myself going to comment on Roxy Horrors locale. Everytime I start to read her posts I hear the faint sound of dueling banjos and get a whiff of magnolia. Mixed with the other noxious gas around here, it's enough to test my legendary lack of a gag reflex.

Speaking of noxious gas and gag reflexes, where is the Justicator. Out selling someone on their next bad deal I imagine.

Ah, Gozinya, at last you've resurfaced from the stagnant end of the 'pool. How very....not nice to have to associate with you in any way.

Although I'm currently involved in 7 battles (and I think I'm gonna win 1 of them!), I think taking on an 8th is possible, especially because I'll have to put so little work into beating you, it'll almost seem like our battle would ADD time and thought-energy to my life, rather than take it. I charge you with second-rate effrontery and rampant licentiousness. If you wouldst defend yourself against these charges, send me a fecking setup. If you wouldst decline, I shall magnanimously agree to continue heaping dung upon you in absentia. But either way, SOD OFF.

DjB

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Doug & Roxy, please shut up.

thanks

[Doug Beman]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Doug & Roxy, please shut up.

thanks

Is that your excuse for a taunt? As I was reading this worthless pile of puke, I was hearing R. Lee Ermey's voice in my head, demanding that I gouge out your eyeballs and...replace them with golfballs.

I'd challenge you properly, but, y'know, you're just not worth it. athkatla is worth it. So's Gaylord Focker. Even Goanna is worth it. But you, sir, are worth nothing, and I'll have no further truck with you.

DjB

[ August 09, 2002, 02:44 PM: Message edited by: Doug Beman ]

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Roxy:

Lady Persephone,

Thank you for stopping by to say, "Hi" to a lowly Lady In Waiting.

Pah, and humbug, Lady in Waiting indeed. Rot. This 'uns got STENOGRAPHER sinews, STENOGRAPHER bones, STENOGRAPHER fingers and STENOGRAPHER guile.

Damnably fine...

*sniff* make a note in me journal... in secret crayon *sniff* delicious trouble, must invite around for tea and whisperings.

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

[Goanna]

Thank you Hiram for so succinctly putting words to the thoughts that many of the silent majority must have been thinking ad nauseam since Beman recently became a serial thread starter and made his long overdue dip in the foetid waters.

He has, however, not been keen on the etiquette of a challenge as he has been too busy afflicting his slack-ass posterboy™ style on the Outerboard hordes. Roxy Horror has also obviously missed a few things in her reading, but then again she did chip a nail so I suppose we should cut her some slack lest we cause her to cry again so soon and dry up her recently overworked tear ducts.

With that in mind, let me go back and cover some standard ed subjects for you two wet behind the ears, overanxious, lackwit oxygen thieves. {Where is that damn Justiciar when you need him?} It is standard practice for the SSN (read you two miscreants) to send the setup upon offer and acceptance of a proper challenge to a veteran of the pool, especially one who has a member number as low and venerable as mine. Given the fact that neither of you two could find your ass with both hands and a road map, we veterans will possibly overlook the former requirement and deem your tepid challenges as adequate, but we cannot (and I am sure Herr Horse Ovaries will join me in this sentiment) overlook the latter. Therefore, Beman, you will be allowed to provide whatever sort of gamey-ass setup you can come up with to me should you choose to do so. Might I suggest another of the scenarios you have been designing so I can humiliate you in it as I did in our last. I still have your hoodoo here somewhere and I am sure I can dust it off and put it to proper use again.

[Goanna]

Ah, and I almost forgot some victory conditions. When you lose Bemoan you will thereafter restrict yourself to no more than the starting of one thread per week and no more than 10 posts a day unless taunted into further response. Furthermore, none of the above threads will eve again be allowed to stray into subjects such as:

(*) your love life

(P) your job

(%) what a hopeless shut-in or other form of insufferable pillock you are

[Terence]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Ok, Whimsical, Try on this for size.

Your silly rules don't apply to me.

The reason I am infinitely superior to a pustule like you is exquisitely simple.

For me, playing with toy soldiers is enough. I don't need to climb into some fetid virtual treehouse and play Peng Club with the other human refuse.

(Squires.... Snicker snicker snicker. Good lord. Its quite a toy house you kids have....)

I just want to walk by every so often and pee on you.

Consider yourself -- and the rest of the lackwits -- peed on.

[ August 10, 2002, 10:52 AM: Message edited by: Terence ]