God Save the Peng and this Honorable Challenge

[Fionn]

In direct contravention of the Pool's most holy rules Harv put up quite a fight and created some uncomfortable moments for me during our game.

As an Honorary Knight of the Pool and the ONLY person here to EVER have been banned ( thus proving you are all nothing but rank amateurs when it comes to hurling abuse) I DEMAND that his Knight teaches him to play more suckily if he wishes to remain in the Pool.

As to the rest of you...

Peng, Hiram, Elvis and some others are laying down the lives of their men with alarming alacrity. I think some of them are trying to make bold artistic statements with the corpses of their men since there can be no other possible reason for some of their moves OTHER than wishing to align the corpses "just so" to spell out messages to their motherships.

Thankfully BTS never acceded to the request to add blood to the game otherwise it'd be difficult to see the terrain in Peng's forming up zones.

[ June 19, 2002, 06:13 PM: Message edited by: Fionn ]

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Fionn:

In direct contravention of the Pool's most holy rules Harv put up quite a fight and created some uncomfortable moments for me during our game.

As an Honorary Knight of the Pool and the ONLY person here to EVER have been banned ( thus proving you are all nothing but rank amateurs when it comes to hurling abuse) I DEMAND that his Knight teaches him to play more suckily if he wishes to remain in the Pool.

One DOES try Fionn, one does try but just look at the raw material I'm forced to work with! He did the same thing in IL-2, refusing to crash upon takeoff, avoiding hillsides and actually shooting down enemy aircraft. I took him into the CessPool in the hopes that I might show him the path of righteousness but I see I still need to work on the project ... a liege's job is never done.

Harv ... oh Harv ... so, Fionn tells me that you actually put up a good fight eh ... well lad you know what that means ... right ... ***BOOoottTT*** for agreeing to play him in the first place, ***BOOoottTT*** for not whining and crying like Hiram in your AARs and most tragically, ***BOOoottTT*** for creating uncomfortable moments.

Oh yes, and ***BOOoottTT*** for posting false AARs here that intimated that you were losing horribly when you were doing far better than any CessPudlian should be doing against Fionn.

Now buck up lad, no tears in the CessPool, it will give Bauhaus ideas. To make up for it your paper for tonight will be "Icons, Schmicons, An HQ Unit is an HQ Unit." AND I expect an oral dissertation of 10 minutes with PowerPoint slides on the subject of "Why I Stopped Smoking ... If You Can't See 'em You Can't Kill 'em."

Now don't let me down lad.

Joe

p.s. Boo_Radley, I can't be expected to keep up with every Boo_Radley-come-lately, jumped up beyond his station, barely a Junior Knight who really should be a Squire at best if we were still doing things the right way instead of allowing Berli to change the rules in midstream ... now can I?

[jd]

Originally posted by Kitty:

Ps - JD, our game (or at least my last turn) was lost in a hard drive crash here. Resend if you still have, if not I'll concede defeat. '=(

It'll be on its way this evening ( I think I kept it)

[rleete]

First Kitty and now jd? Is the world about to end, now that all the past sinners are showing up?

[Fionn]

Joe,

Well, to be fair after about the 8th turn when he had only ever spotted 10 units ( 2 tanks, 4 split-squads and 2 platoon HQs... although he only had properly IDed two of those ten) he did start dropping artillery blindly over seemingly empty hills in a rash attempt to extract at least SOME vengeance on me ( sadly this was when he was actually at his most effective.. ).

So, let the punishment be tempered by his willingness to blindly target any elevation in sight. I'd also like to recommend him for, sportingly, completely failing to commit his mobile reserves at any point in the battle .

[jd]

Hell I thought the justicar had died and gone to IL-2 heaven, never did he pick up the gauntlet after our last set to...of course I wait well after the fact to say that, because at our ages neither of us remember the truth, only our subjective delusions.

Of course über-gnome also managed to disappear after our 27th straight draw. Figures he'd go hide when he knew he'd take a lickin' much like Macey's luv-you's. Gawd it is almost like the old days when the 'Pool' was young and vibrant, not now like a cheap and tawdry Las Vegas streetwalker whose last 'trick' was keeping her wig on straight

[Harv]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Lotsa painful stuff

What!! How can you just jump all over me like Mace on a sheep after Fionn lies to you like that? I never fought...I just shot flaming chickens towards the far end of the map until my little digital soldiers crawled out of my lappytop and threatened to sodomize me if I didn't surrender. Who ya gonna believe...me, or the groggy type over there? It wasn't my fault some of the beaks penetrated the armor on his TD.

I offer as proof...

See all those things that say "Eliminated"? No no...Get your glasses out of your nostils again and look over here...see what I'm talking about...those are mine, all mine. Muahahahaha.

I'll get started on the paper right away sire.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

p.s. Boo_Radley, I can't be expected to keep up with every Boo_Radley-come-lately, jumped up beyond his station, barely a Junior Knight who really should be a Squire at best if we were still doing things the right way instead of allowing Berli to change the rules in midstream ... now can I?

Joe Shaw

Member

Member # 258

posted May 09, 2002 03:02 PM

------------------------------------------------

By GAWD I take back everything I said about this lad. Anyone who knows about Maynard G. Crebs is all right in my book. I think he'll work ... WORK! ... out just fine.

Sorry to have to hoist you on your own petard, Mr. Justa-gigolo, but it seems that old selective memory of yours is acting up again.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

p.s. Boo_Radley, I can't be expected to keep up with every Boo_Radley-come-lately, jumped up beyond his station, barely a Junior Knight who really should be a Squire at best if we were still doing things the right way instead of allowing Berli to change the rules in midstream ... now can I?

Joe Shaw

Member

Member # 258

posted May 09, 2002 03:02 PM

------------------------------------------------

By GAWD I take back everything I said about this lad. Anyone who knows about Maynard G. Crebs is all right in my book. I think he'll work ... WORK! ... out just fine.

Sorry to have to hoist you on your own petard, Mr. Justa-gigolo, but it seems that old selective memory of yours is acting up again.</font>

[Harv]

And here, for your viewing pleasure, is an excerpt from the AAR (After Arsekicking Report) form that Fionn gave me to fill out...

1. What was your plan?

To survive past turn 10

2. What was your opponents plan?

To shell me unmercifully until I surrendered

3. How did the battle unfold?

I was shelled unmercifully until I surrendered

4. Did the unfolding battle correspond more closely to your plan or your opponents?

My groggy opponent's (obviously), but I made it to turn 11.

5. Why? (The answer to this question will either point out errors you made OR will point out how your opponent took and maintained the initiative. Either answer will be invaluable to you in improving your performance.) {editor's note...yeah right. I'm a lost cause.}

He had lots of arty and could see my sheep. I didn’t know where he was. I died, he didn’t.

This concludes the analysis of pre-battle planning and should, over the course of several debriefs, help you identify any persistent biases you have and help eradicate or, at least, account for them in future. {editor's note...see previous note}

6. Given your initial plan how suitable was your purchasing strategy?

Good. 2 Coy, 4 Panther, 3 HT, 7 arty spotters.

7. Given the way the battle unfolded how suitable was your purchasing strategy?

Bad. Needed self propelled MG and 88mm pillboxes. Or more sheep.

There is more, but the rest requires me to be able to read 'n think while chewing gum.

[dalem]

You had to fill out a form? Holy Crap I hope that's a joke.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<BIG>ooom-PAPAAH! <BIG>ooom-PAPAAH!!<SMALL>

Now that that's got yer in-atten-shun, you's can all go back to feckin' sleep. Unless yer name is Boo[underscore]Radley in which case yer might be excited at the prospect of seeing yer nomdeplumage "up in lights" again, as it were. Unfortunately, I only have 1 burnt out candle to offer........

In our just completed byte battle extraordinaire titled "Attack Laghouat", it has come to MY atten-shun that we in fact DREW!! Wa-a-a-h! So, this is all the reward I get after I expend a significant proportion of my lifetime and 36 of Britain's finest Elite AFV's in my quest to wrest the steenking Laghouat fish market from his greasy palms??? SOB! Even my crews were so committed that one singlehandedly tried to beat down the back door of his steenking 88 pillbox with his BARE HANDS!! (see foreground of piccy below):

The final miserable tally was:

Feckless Boo_Boo (Axis)

222 cas [50KIA] [ 5 cap]

6 guns

2 pillboxes

28 vehicles

SCORE = 53

Brave AJ (Allies)

234 cas [49KIA]

36 vehicles

SCORE = 46

Idiot AI (Obviously Allied to Axis)

0 cas

SCORE = 1

Hang on a minute........... should I not be able to claim at least 1/2 a loss agin' my Cess tally out of this folly, seeing as how my points is lesser than 'is points? Is there precedent and if not, WHY not??

Sigh.............

AJ

------------------------

<SMALL>"Half a loss is better than no loss at all..."

Some sore loser...

[imported_Wildman]

Game Updates:

NONE

That's right, I'm just too damn busy for the hole lot of you worthless gits. Although I'm still returning files faster than Justicar Joe.

Unfortunately for me, the Air Force in it infinite wisdom has levied a NORI (Nuclear Operational Readiness Inspection) in the near future. My wing commander, who obviously has filled out a Fionn AAR sheet decided that we needed practice...a lot of practice and has had exercises at the rate of one week each month. Given that I'm ensuring the loadout of several B-52H models with all the trimming.. I was wondering if I could just get all of your addresses. The pilots were looking a little board and a MITO (Minimum Interval Take Off, for you non-IL2 grogs) followed by a cruise missile delivery is just the pick me up they need.

Now no need to send me Hiram's address as New Jersey was and always has been on the target list since General Creech stood up SAC. Damn it, Down Bauhaus.

I may attempt to actually open your files and send them, if the computer police of 18year old, pimple faced, airmen can be avoided.

{Edited because I can and should for reasons understood by all}

[ June 19, 2002, 10:14 PM: Message edited by: Wildman ]

[Harv]

Originally posted by dalem:

You had to fill out a form? Holy Crap I hope that's a joke.

Oh no, no joke. It's as serious as getting one's thangy a bit too close to a runaway eggbeater.

However, it was totally optional. I was given a choice...

^b}I could lose intentionally and fill out the form.

or...

⁴/₅< I could endure the endless shame and humiliation of continuing to play, end up defeating the Grogmaster Fionn and then I could blow my nose with it.

Not much of a decision if you ask me. Did someone ask me? No? Nevermind then.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Harv:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

You had to fill out a form? Holy Crap I hope that's a joke.

Oh no, no joke. It's as serious as getting one's thangy a bit too close to a runaway eggbeater.

However, it was totally optional. I was given a choice...

^b}I could lose intentionally and fill out the form.

or...

⁴/₅< I could endure the endless shame and humiliation of continuing to play, end up defeating the Grogmaster Fionn and then I could blow my nose with it.

Not much of a decision if you ask me. Did someone ask me? No? Nevermind then.</font>

[Stuka]

Computer nerds.

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

I hereby call for a volunteer to set up. Anyone? Anyone? Goanna? Anyone?

I shall be the brave Americans on the attack; the Glopster shall be the Volkshamsters on the defence. Let there many rolly and 'splodey things, but no more than 1500 points worth.

Be careful what you ask for...

The file HakkoShaw (scary thought there) is on the way. Map speedily generated, units purchased, and file saved.

File to you Yankee-ichiu, as soon as you post an Email addy.

Passwords will be sent via Email.

Enjoy!

[ June 19, 2002, 11:11 PM: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

I hereby call for a volunteer to set up. Anyone? Anyone? Goanna? Anyone?

I shall be the brave Americans on the attack; the Glopster shall be the Volkshamsters on the defence. Let there many rolly and 'splodey things, but no more than 1500 points worth.

Be careful what you ask for...

The file HakkoShaw (scary thought there) is on the way. Map speedily generated, units purchased, and file saved.

File to you Yankee-ichiu, as soon as you post an Email addy.

Passwords will be sent via Email.

Enjoy!</font>

[Mace]

Originally posted by Harv:

And here, for your viewing pleasure, is an excerpt from the AAR (After Arsekicking Report) form that Fionn gave me to fill out...

1. What was your plan?

To survive past turn 10

2. What was your opponents plan?

To shell me unmercifully until I surrendered

3. How did the battle unfold?

I was shelled unmercifully until I surrendered

4. Did the unfolding battle correspond more closely to your plan or your opponents?

My groggy opponent's (obviously), but I made it to turn 11.

5. Why? (The answer to this question will either point out errors you made OR will point out how your opponent took and maintained the initiative. Either answer will be invaluable to you in improving your performance.) {editor's note...yeah right. I'm a lost cause.}

He had lots of arty and could see my sheep. I didn’t know where he was. I died, he didn’t.

This concludes the analysis of pre-battle planning and should, over the course of several debriefs, help you identify any persistent biases you have and help eradicate or, at least, account for them in future. {editor's note...see previous note}

6. Given your initial plan how suitable was your purchasing strategy?

Good. 2 Coy, 4 Panther, 3 HT, 7 arty spotters.

7. Given the way the battle unfolded how suitable was your purchasing strategy?

Bad. Needed self propelled MG and 88mm pillboxes. Or more sheep.

There is more, but the rest requires me to be able to read 'n think while chewing gum.

CRIKEY!!!!... Sequential numbering

Kill him!!! Kill the heretic!~!!!

Mace

[Mace]

Originally posted by jd:

much like Macey's luv-you's.

Luv you, JD.

Mace

[Stuka]

Nice and warm in Melbourne today Macey?

Harr Harr HAAAAA.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Harv:

It's as serious as getting one's thangy a bit too close to a runaway eggbeater.

Harv is a professional.

I would suggest that you others not try this at home.

Mace

[ June 20, 2002, 12:31 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Mace]

Originally posted by Stuka:

Nice and warm in Melbourne today Macey?

Harr Harr HAAAAA.

Sun's shining Stukes me old china, and guess what....I'm not at work!

Sucks to be you.

Mace

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

And here's a lovely little update for you sports fans out there. MrSpkr, speaking of cretins, was of the impression that Jabo! was some odd little creation that featured: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />... an assault by an Allied armored column with heavy air support on a German Artillery camp. Map was heavily wooded -- and both sides bled heavily!

Now I normally don't quote from an opponents email, but this was too good not to share. Shall we tell him or just let him figure it out on his own?

Joe</font>

[Stuka]

Originally posted by Mace:

Sun's shining Stukes me old china, and guess what....I'm not at work!

Sucks to be you.

Oh Yeah?

Well...my dad's a policeman.