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After the Holocaust, the Gods Made the Peng Challenge, to Show the Way They Should Go


Seanachai

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Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

... artificial insemination, never really understood it...

Well you see. First point is they - the vets - have to "procure" the, er, male reproductive particles. Then this nice man and a long rubber glove sneak up on the poor unsuspecting female donkey. And "WHAMMO" it's done.

Easy.

You'd love the first part.

Noba.

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Originally posted by Boo Radley:

They invented Vegemite.

Yeh, but it's a beer derivative:

In 1922, a Melbourne man called Fred Walker (who started the Fred Walker Company which eventually became Kraft Foods Limited in Australia) had the bright idea of using yeast extract left over from the manufacture of beer to create a wonderful source of vitamin B and a tasty new spread that every Australian will grow up with.
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Originally posted by Boo Radley:

They invented Vegemite.

Yeh, but it's a beer derivative:

In 1922, a Melbourne man called Fred Walker (who started the Fred Walker Company which eventually became Kraft Foods Limited in Australia) had the bright idea of using yeast extract left over from the manufacture of beer to create a wonderful source of vitamin B and a tasty new spread that every Australian will grow up with.
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Originally posted by Philippe:

Oh god, I did it again. I really didn't mean to post in this ...uh...place.

Ah, yes. Boo, hand me the rubber glove. Welcome, Philippe! I'm Doctor Seanachai, frontier proctologist! Bend over and think about your happy place, lad. We're just after tickling your fancy, to make sure there's no lymphoma...
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Originally posted by Philippe:

Oh god, I did it again. I really didn't mean to post in this ...uh...place.

Ah, yes. Boo, hand me the rubber glove. Welcome, Philippe! I'm Doctor Seanachai, frontier proctologist! Bend over and think about your happy place, lad. We're just after tickling your fancy, to make sure there's no lymphoma...
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Originally posted by Philippe:

Too kind, too kind. But don't bother, really, I just had a check-up. Besides, from what I hear you don't have the reach, and we wouldn't want you straining yourself.

No trouble, lad, no trouble at all. And these

wiggling latex enclosed fingers

have saluted Royalty. Now, try and relax, and think of something heroic while I'm doing the 'chanter' fingering for 'Scotland the Brave' on your lower intestine...

Ah, the pipes. How they console us, at moments of loss and pain.

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Originally posted by Philippe:

Too kind, too kind. But don't bother, really, I just had a check-up. Besides, from what I hear you don't have the reach, and we wouldn't want you straining yourself.

No trouble, lad, no trouble at all. And these

wiggling latex enclosed fingers

have saluted Royalty. Now, try and relax, and think of something heroic while I'm doing the 'chanter' fingering for 'Scotland the Brave' on your lower intestine...

Ah, the pipes. How they console us, at moments of loss and pain.

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Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

I dare to hazard a guess that "reMUNeration" was the term you were striving for else you are suggesting Seanachai's sorrows should be renumbered, yes?

Kind of an odd thing to do.

But lemme see if it makes anything better...

1. No job

2. No money

3. No life

4. No style

5. No friends

Hmm...

1) No job

Check

2) No money

Check

3) No life

Well, yes. Check

4) No Style

Define 'Style'

5) No friends

Ah, now there, I think, I have you. If friends are gold, then I am rich beyond the dreams of avarice.

Enemies are hard to come by. Friends are there for anyone who opens their eyes. With a world so full of good people, the only thing that keeps anyone poor is a poverty within.

Even utter fools, like myself, can find that sort of gold on the Road of Life.

Why else would I call for Hatred? When you're old, and stupid, and broken down, Hatred is reassuring. You can get and keep that without any real effort.

But Friendship. That makes you feel unworthy. Does anyone deserve a friend? Only the people that you think of as your friends seem worthy of friendship. Does anyone feel worthy of something as powerful, as cleansing, or as uplifting as friendship?

I don't.

But I believe I have friends. It's like believing in God, but so much nearer and more humbling. Because I won't meet God, if he's there, until all my acts are done, for good or ill. But my friends are here, now. And so my acts, myself, are all they have to go by. And someone who gives you their friendship, is giving you a sort of trust that will never be needed by a being who is all-powerful and all-knowing.

They do it because they believe in you. And they do so in an act of faith that beggars the concept of believing in a Being of Ultimate Goodness.

Anyone can believe in a god, especially if by doing so they expect some ultimate reward. But people who believe in 'you', because they are your friends? What can you do for them? Maybe the simple fact that you are their friend? And so a great circle of trust and belief is created. Could anything be more humbling?

I don't know that I have any friends. But I believe that I have friends.

Of course, I also believe in the Xmas Bunny. Refulgent in his robes of the purest, shimmering samite, he stands before me, even now, with chocolate eggs and get-out-jail-free cards for everyone.

My dear Lady Morraine, never underestimate the foolishness of friendship, nor doubt the presence of the Xmas Bunny.

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Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

I dare to hazard a guess that "reMUNeration" was the term you were striving for else you are suggesting Seanachai's sorrows should be renumbered, yes?

Kind of an odd thing to do.

But lemme see if it makes anything better...

1. No job

2. No money

3. No life

4. No style

5. No friends

Hmm...

1) No job

Check

2) No money

Check

3) No life

Well, yes. Check

4) No Style

Define 'Style'

5) No friends

Ah, now there, I think, I have you. If friends are gold, then I am rich beyond the dreams of avarice.

Enemies are hard to come by. Friends are there for anyone who opens their eyes. With a world so full of good people, the only thing that keeps anyone poor is a poverty within.

Even utter fools, like myself, can find that sort of gold on the Road of Life.

Why else would I call for Hatred? When you're old, and stupid, and broken down, Hatred is reassuring. You can get and keep that without any real effort.

But Friendship. That makes you feel unworthy. Does anyone deserve a friend? Only the people that you think of as your friends seem worthy of friendship. Does anyone feel worthy of something as powerful, as cleansing, or as uplifting as friendship?

I don't.

But I believe I have friends. It's like believing in God, but so much nearer and more humbling. Because I won't meet God, if he's there, until all my acts are done, for good or ill. But my friends are here, now. And so my acts, myself, are all they have to go by. And someone who gives you their friendship, is giving you a sort of trust that will never be needed by a being who is all-powerful and all-knowing.

They do it because they believe in you. And they do so in an act of faith that beggars the concept of believing in a Being of Ultimate Goodness.

Anyone can believe in a god, especially if by doing so they expect some ultimate reward. But people who believe in 'you', because they are your friends? What can you do for them? Maybe the simple fact that you are their friend? And so a great circle of trust and belief is created. Could anything be more humbling?

I don't know that I have any friends. But I believe that I have friends.

Of course, I also believe in the Xmas Bunny. Refulgent in his robes of the purest, shimmering samite, he stands before me, even now, with chocolate eggs and get-out-jail-free cards for everyone.

My dear Lady Morraine, never underestimate the foolishness of friendship, nor doubt the presence of the Xmas Bunny.

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Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Philippe:

I may be naive, but I thought the first part was done with a hypodermic syringe. Why on earth would anyone enjoy that ?

Oddstralians do it with candy and flowers. Not sure if the animals really appreciate it or not, but it makes the Aussies happy.

What can you expect? They invented Vegemite. </font>

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Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Philippe:

I may be naive, but I thought the first part was done with a hypodermic syringe. Why on earth would anyone enjoy that ?

Oddstralians do it with candy and flowers. Not sure if the animals really appreciate it or not, but it makes the Aussies happy.

What can you expect? They invented Vegemite. </font>

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Originally posted by Mace:

In 1922, a Melbourne man called Fred Walker had the bright idea of using yeast extract left over from the manufacture of beer to create a wonderful source of vitamin B and a tasty new spread that every Australian will grow up with.

So, back in the dark ages, some shyster (is there any such animal as an honest Ossie?) figured out that Oddstralians were hungry enough and stupid enough to buy a waste product and eat it.

And the worst part is, they're proud of it!

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Originally posted by Mace:

In 1922, a Melbourne man called Fred Walker had the bright idea of using yeast extract left over from the manufacture of beer to create a wonderful source of vitamin B and a tasty new spread that every Australian will grow up with.

So, back in the dark ages, some shyster (is there any such animal as an honest Ossie?) figured out that Oddstralians were hungry enough and stupid enough to buy a waste product and eat it.

And the worst part is, they're proud of it!

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Originally posted by rleete:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace:

In 1922, a Melbourne man called Fred Walker had the bright idea of using yeast extract left over from the manufacture of beer to create a wonderful source of vitamin B and a tasty new spread that every Australian will grow up with.

So, back in the dark ages, some shyster (is there any such animal as an honest Ossie?) figured out that Oddstralians were hungry enough and stupid enough to buy a waste product and eat it.

And the worst part is, they're proud of it! </font>

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Originally posted by rleete:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace:

In 1922, a Melbourne man called Fred Walker had the bright idea of using yeast extract left over from the manufacture of beer to create a wonderful source of vitamin B and a tasty new spread that every Australian will grow up with.

So, back in the dark ages, some shyster (is there any such animal as an honest Ossie?) figured out that Oddstralians were hungry enough and stupid enough to buy a waste product and eat it.

And the worst part is, they're proud of it! </font>

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