Boo Radley Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: You are very low and uncouth fellows. I pity you. And yet, there's something quite fetching in an "F Troop" sort of way about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 If you're going to keep this up, I demand you stick my head on Jennifer Connelly's body... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: If you're going to keep this up, I demand you stick my head on Jennifer Connelly's body... You'd sure get invited over a lot more. Stack of bags by the door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Viljuri Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Dalem, you silly fool! The real Lemminkäinen (B. Wahlroos) from the Sampo: Estimated personal assets: at least €200.000.000 Interesting tidbit: He was briefly a communist during his younger years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 2-pounders and Tigers AAR (aka ‘mystical freak-out of carnage’): A Messianic production Sir 37mm Leading light of the House of (sigh) JDMorse (sigh) Official Peng blessed, disowned, tolerated & tested Messiah of the Peng Challenge thread Official Idjit & Primus Village Idjit Maximus Official Potential probationary Justicar to be Official Creator of miraculous AAR Official Thrice disowned one Doorknocker extraordinaire Official ‘Angel of Peng' appointed ‘Renowned Expert on North American Beetles from err America'. And much, much more… Versus Noba … An Oddstralian … … Oh & a knight or some such Prologue Well it wasn’t much of a challenge if I recall… just a basic what’ ho to them on the WRONG side of the world… but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes here in the Cesspool. One thing is sure though… no matter how savage the challenge, no matter how painful the taunting or how brutal the battle the most important thing is the gloat. But first… A low growl reverberates through the ground, the sun beats down & what little shade the orchard provides is inadequate to cool the men down. Sweat trickles from hundreds of foreheads, flies pester, ammo is checked & prayers are said. The dust haze reaches hundreds of feet into the air & appears to be about a kilometre away. Some of the young lads hope that it keeps that far away, the ‘veterans’ have the same hopes of course but know better. The thunderous roar of revving engines sounds across the desert… it is time. The enemy sends forth their armoured cars… all come under fire from multiple AT rifles many are hit but all seem to safely reach dips in the ground several hundred meters in front of our far right position (a small ‘bowl’ isolated from the rest of the force). Enemy infantry are spotted moving on our left & right they come under sporadic artillery fire but to little effect. Oh what I’d give for some HMG’s… Then they’re spotted, a murmur ripples through the Battalion, ‘how many?’ they ask, ‘are you sure?’ others practically scream… yes I am sure. Hesitant soldier by hesitant soldier it is slowly confirmed… multiple enemy Tiger tanks approach. These frightful & near indestructible foes are not alone, they are escorted by a veritable horde of smaller PzIII’s & halftracks… there is nothing left to do but to hunker down & await the onslaught. It begin on our left… the enemy had infiltrated into a ravine & prepared to cross the open ground into OUR orchard. Yet our new & mysterious commander (just arrived yesterday… some say he’s a secret weapon, some say he’s been sent by ‘higher powers’ & others say he’s stolen their beer) had fully expected this move & desperate for MG’s he’d ordered bren carriers to the edge of the Orchard. These helped the defending platoon from breaking under the relentless pressure. However the hideous foe was not done, for his tanks now flung high explosive shells across the battlefield onto our valiant defenders… yet despite the terrible toll they took on our platoon, these shells could not reach the hidden bren carriers. Next our mystery commander ordered concentrated mortar fire on the enemy occupied ravine… it couldn’t possibly do much harm but surely it would by us time. But time for what? Still it didn’t take long for the ammo to run out & for the enemy to unleash their most foul attack yet… The ENORMOUS artillery shells pounded the whole of my far left platoon… it was brutally savaged but worse was to befall the bren carriers. Driven mad by the enemy fire they drove OUT of the orchard & into view of the enemy… those that weren’t torn apart by AP rounds were obliterated by the shelling as they reversed back into the orchard. Buoyed by their success the enemy launched another assault to crush my leftmost platoon… they seemed to pour out of the ravine like, like ant’s… but not just ordinary ants… err… no, not at all. They swarmed out of the ravine like a mindless, cold blooded, relentless eruption of pure cruelty. Nothing could stop them surely? Oh but my men tried… MG’s, rifles, grenades even bayonets were used but still they came. My men prepared for the final sacrifice… and yet…. “Is it not strange how the Earth trembles Egbert?” “Tis the enemy sire, they rend the air with their foul oaths” “Eye, I can well believe that… but doth that not seem so strangely queer to thee?” “Now that thy mention it *Egbert at this moment is removing an appendix from a disgusting German* it does seem to be coming from behi…” And the Orchard was ripped asunder by three great Goliaths, their machine guns blazed & the brave Brit’s prepared for destruction but the unwavering hail tore not into them but instead into the despicable German’s. HE shells drove back the Germans into their ravine & for the rest of the battle they (being reinforcing M3 Lee’s) kept up their fire… still safe within the orchard. Oh but if only that was the end of the story & not just the beginning! You see the enemy were not content with their lamentable plot to take my left flank for they had yet another force & it bared down on my right flank with naught but evil intentions. My far right position was isolated but it was… err… not alone for many AT rifles now sounded out & enemy half tracks began to break down. And then the heavy guns from afar boomed & the Germans were wreathed in fire & iron… all were driven into the ground by the rain of 25 pound shells. And yet our mystery commander was not done for he ordered three more reinforcing Lee’s to the forward lines of the central orchard sector. From here they could fire remorselessly on enemy vehicles & yet they were protected from return fire by their own armour & from the dreaded 88’s of the Tigers by the Orchard… praise be! In an act of incredible folly the enemy Tigers now changed direction. Instead of driving towards my far right objective they would drive parallel to the orchard line & engage the central Lee’s… the fool. Of course, the Lee’s reversed back into the orchard leaving the Tigers stranded… sure they occupied themselves by firing high explosive at any AT rifle or AT gun they saw (one little 2-pounder managed to penetrate a Tiger five times, but to little effect) but in the meantime, in a move worthy of Caesar, the commander brought forth his third & final platoon of Lee’s this time on the right flank of the Orchard. They & the AT rifles poured fire into the enemy, many Panzers were slain & half tracks abandoned but the price was heavy. Two of my Goliaths were ruined by return fire & this allowed more insidious panzers & their demented escorts to attack the ‘bowl’. The enemy were dealt with however by AT guns, very close artillery fire & mortar fire… the attack on the far right was over. Desperate & outmanoeuvred the enemy should perhaps have withdrawn to lick their wounds but this was no ordinary foe… possessed with a malicious & deranged will he called forth yet more demons… sorry Germans. This time their intention was to attack the rightmost corner of the orchard, for it had been weakened by Tiger fire. They were met, of course, by the fire of select units of the British Battalion (which was still mostly intact) as well as the third Lee on our right flank and quickly driven back. The Tigers began to withdraw & the battle ceased to be called such. Epilogue And so a major victory for the forces of me against the forces of others… Hip, Hip Hooray! Still I suspect the CM engine may have been tampered with by Noba for the game miscalculated our end forces to make it look like the defenders outnumbered the attackers! A ridiculous suggestion and a very low trick indeed (praise be!). Some here may ask how any one man can lose the same scenario fourteen times in a row & yet Noba has managed just such a feat (apparently he’s also losing on attempts 15 & 16)… this is an act of considerable & glorious folly… I would be proud to take Noba as a disciple for such unrelenting numbskullery is surely Pengful. Praise be! Noba of the wrong side… just take a piece of my red string and I’ll anoint you with the holy water forthwith! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by Sgt. Viljuri: Dalem, you silly fool! The real Lemminkäinen (B. Wahlroos) from the Sampo: Estimated personal assets: at least €200.000.000 Interesting tidbit: He was briefly a communist during his younger years. So the Sampo thing really worked out for him then. That's excellent. But he's only an ex-actor. I am the manifestation of Lemennkkaiinnenn of the Sampo here in the MBT. Silly Finnish person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: People came forward to touch me, to clasp my hand, or even just touch the fringe of my garments. A glowing aura of goodness and peace shone all around me. I was a light in that dark place. They came forward to see the G.O.U.S. (apologies to "The Princess Bride") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: If you're going to keep this up, I demand you stick my head on Jennifer Connelly's body... That would be tantamount to sacriledge! I know you would say that it can't amount to tantamount to sacriledge, but you'd be wrong. Highly alliterative, but wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moraine Sedai Posted March 22, 2005 Author Share Posted March 22, 2005 Hmmm...everyone behaving... no messes to clean up... adequate AAR's being posted... overachieving Messiah-wannabe posting like he's almost normal instead of a brain-fevered moronic cry-baby pseudo-scientist... So far, so good. I'd say my tenure is going quite well. Yes...even a bit of poo-throwing between the resident monkeys. Ahhh...I do so like my job. *puts feet back up on the desk and takes a sip of wine* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 A Coke. Several Girl Scout Tagalong peanut butter cookies. Various works of geekdom piled around me as I try to develop a scenario (alas, for a tabletop game, not CM) for a Lorraine battle circa 9/10/1944. Not too bad for a Monday evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by Mace: OOOoooH! A booze up? Sounds like fun. If I don't drive I'll need to catch a train home, and since the service ceases circa 9pm, I suggest we kick off in the afternoon? Mace [/QB]Your'e on! Mind, I am in Melbourne on work, so that means a 4pm kick off at the earliest. I'm lodged at a hotel on lygon st for the monday-wednesday then mulgrave thursday so shall we say wednesday 13th @4.30pm in the lobby? You may post the piccies of the event so that others may bask in the glory of our immaculate images... Stuka-Nuka-Puka-Pants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by Boo Radley: Your garments have fringes? My. How... special. Yes... he calls it fringe The rest of the world calls it torn and frayed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: Your garments have fringes? My. How... special. Yes... he calls it fringe The rest of the world calls it torn and frayed </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by dalem: I tried to give the Gnome some of my old suits. He ate them. What'd you expect? Bastard's barely house broke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by stikkypixie: It was 20 °C. The sun was shining. The wind was blowing. The girls were pretty. The skirts were short. You people were sucking.Your last sentence suggests that you stayed indoors to read the MBT. You, sir, are a <font size = 10>LOOOOOOSER!</font> Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by Stuka: I'm lodged at a hotel on lygon st for the monday-wednesday then mulgrave thursday so shall we say wednesday 13th @4.30pm in the lobby?Well that narrows it down to about 50 hotels. Can you be a bit more specific by providing, say, an address? Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Doh! Double post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by Mace: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by stikkypixie: It was 20 °C. The sun was shining. The wind was blowing. The girls were pretty. The skirts were short. You people were sucking.Your last sentence suggests that you stayed indoors to read the MBT. You, sir, are a <font size = 10>LOOOOOOSER!</font> Mace </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 As Seanachai approached my front door, it seemed he would be on his best behavior. we had several cups of coffee, Seanachaisure does like his coffee... After meeting my daughter, It was off to Salvador's for breakfast. After eating, little Seanachai was soo full and tired, but he had a long way still to go, and like a brave little gnome, he was off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Guess what you Aussie blockheads? Winter is coming.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by Nidan1: Guess what you Aussie blockheads? Winter is coming.... They don't have real winter. Which is why they'll never amount to anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 While it was wonderful to visit the Chicagoland area, the down-side is I've returned home horribly afflicted with a cold. I'd blame Berli, but nothing could live in his apartment, not even germs. His disturbing practice of self-mutilation/sacrifice has driven all the disease spirits from the area. No, sadly, this regrettable illness is the result of having spent 3 days with college friends who have young children. As charming as children are, they are also disease carrying little plague rats. Hopefully at least some turns will go out tonight... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: While it was wonderful to visit the Chicagoland area, the down-side is I've returned home horribly afflicted with a cold. I'd blame Berli, but nothing could live in his apartment, not even germs. His disturbing practice of self-mutilation/sacrifice has driven all the disease spirits from the area. No, sadly, this regrettable illness is the result of having spent 3 days with college friends who have young children. As charming as children are, they are also disease carrying little plague rats. Hopefully at least some turns will go out tonight... You should be aware, by now, of the downside of your continued liasons with little kids. While dealing with adults may be more difficult for you, they usually are not blowing their noses on their sleeves or sneezing directly into your face...well, not the adults I know! anyway....I forgot you spend time with Berli and dalem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by **YK2**: Ohhhhhhhhh I'm a happy bunny!!! And we know what happens to small, fuzzy, defenceless bunnies, don't we? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rune Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 They get fangs and attack Knights? Rune Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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